Warning: Self mutilation, maybe some attept suicide. Somewhat based on a true story of mine and Kitsune Habisha's real lives.
Disclaimer: Dont own, Dont sue. You wouldnt get any thing anyway.
Authors: KallitheINfamous and Kitsune Hashiba.
A dark secret I keep from everyone. No one can know. None of them. Though I wonder what they would do if they knew. I'd wish they would at least notice. Buth again, I don't want want them to know. I almost was cought once before. She saw one of my scars on my wrist, the one I did the fourth time I ever did it. My sister saw the pinkish-purple scar right in the middle. After that I stoped for a while. Just for awhile. Only four weeks. Only one month. And then, the pressure got to be to much for me to handle, and I did it again.
One; its all better. Two; I won't reamber most of what is making me do this. Three; a warm buzz from my body as adrinaline rushes to the open wound. Four; no thoughts or feelings. Five; I crave nothing more than one more time. Six; starting to feel slightly dizzy from lost of blood. Seven; mind is asking me to stop. To deep. They are getting way to deep. Eight; trying to stop the sharp blade from re-entering. Nine; I don't want to stop! Ten; drop the blade and stare at the angry lines of inner torment run down my inner lower arm.
An amazing calm settles over me. My bordom has siced to exist. I let the blood flow freely down my arm, the cold fingures glideing its life down.
Most do it either because their mad or else depressed. I do it for bordom. They have stop bleeding. I grab a tissue and whip off the dried blood from my arm. Licking my arm to wet it enough to whip off.
No more pain. Empty. I smile softly to myself while bandaging up the wounds I had inflected on myself. Rolling down the sleeve of the black tutle neck that I have become used to waring, my smile broadens. I picked up the blade from the ground and stare at it a moment. A long time ago, I think I would have thought that I would never do this is my life. But here I am, drawing my own blood for my own reasons.
I quickly unlock the bathroom door and run down the stairs to the living room to face the family.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I can't ever tell if I like school or not. Because sometimes I love the idea of being away from people you have to hide yourself, and to people you don't. First day of school. High school to be exact. I'm not worried once so ever.
I see Trowa first. I greet him with a hug and smile. We do not express public emotions unlike the other humans around us, digging eachother into walls to practically fuck eachother in the halls.
He smiles a ghost smile to me and hugs back. After that we exchange scheduals and see if we have any classes together. None once so ever. But same lunch. I see a couple of friends of mine walking around. My best friends to be exact. I knew that me and my friend, Wufei, would have one class together at that was it. He is walking with my other friend, Sean.
Its strange on how people meet. It really is. By chance did I meet Wufei, in gym class. A class I do not want to meet anyone in. I met him only a year before, but I felt that I knew him as though I've known him all my life. We had gone threw some tough things during the summer, and now here we are together in the same school. He would be leaving in another two years up to some other place with his family.
Trowa was a chance meeting as well. Two years ago I had met him in some old keyboarding class. We sat at the very back. We talked alittle and exchanged some details about each other. But that was about it. We had gym together but we didnt talk. I grew to like him alot. Him with thoughs green eyes and tall body. I will still blush when I think like that. But the next year, I had him in every single class. Every one. By the third week of school, I had asked him out. He said yes. And we are still going together.
Sean? Well Sean is Wufei's friend that I hadn't known nor wanted to know before I actually got to know him. He's cool, but strange. He has no feelings once so ever. None at all. He'll smile, play, be human, but you can see it in his face theres nothing behind it. He calls Wufei a whore sometimes because of the way he acts around certain people. I go along with it. Catering to what each one of them want.
Thats all I'm good for. Catering.
The bell rings. Off to class I go. Journalism. Joy.
Disclaimer: Dont own, Dont sue. You wouldnt get any thing anyway.
Authors: KallitheINfamous and Kitsune Hashiba.
A dark secret I keep from everyone. No one can know. None of them. Though I wonder what they would do if they knew. I'd wish they would at least notice. Buth again, I don't want want them to know. I almost was cought once before. She saw one of my scars on my wrist, the one I did the fourth time I ever did it. My sister saw the pinkish-purple scar right in the middle. After that I stoped for a while. Just for awhile. Only four weeks. Only one month. And then, the pressure got to be to much for me to handle, and I did it again.
One; its all better. Two; I won't reamber most of what is making me do this. Three; a warm buzz from my body as adrinaline rushes to the open wound. Four; no thoughts or feelings. Five; I crave nothing more than one more time. Six; starting to feel slightly dizzy from lost of blood. Seven; mind is asking me to stop. To deep. They are getting way to deep. Eight; trying to stop the sharp blade from re-entering. Nine; I don't want to stop! Ten; drop the blade and stare at the angry lines of inner torment run down my inner lower arm.
An amazing calm settles over me. My bordom has siced to exist. I let the blood flow freely down my arm, the cold fingures glideing its life down.
Most do it either because their mad or else depressed. I do it for bordom. They have stop bleeding. I grab a tissue and whip off the dried blood from my arm. Licking my arm to wet it enough to whip off.
No more pain. Empty. I smile softly to myself while bandaging up the wounds I had inflected on myself. Rolling down the sleeve of the black tutle neck that I have become used to waring, my smile broadens. I picked up the blade from the ground and stare at it a moment. A long time ago, I think I would have thought that I would never do this is my life. But here I am, drawing my own blood for my own reasons.
I quickly unlock the bathroom door and run down the stairs to the living room to face the family.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I can't ever tell if I like school or not. Because sometimes I love the idea of being away from people you have to hide yourself, and to people you don't. First day of school. High school to be exact. I'm not worried once so ever.
I see Trowa first. I greet him with a hug and smile. We do not express public emotions unlike the other humans around us, digging eachother into walls to practically fuck eachother in the halls.
He smiles a ghost smile to me and hugs back. After that we exchange scheduals and see if we have any classes together. None once so ever. But same lunch. I see a couple of friends of mine walking around. My best friends to be exact. I knew that me and my friend, Wufei, would have one class together at that was it. He is walking with my other friend, Sean.
Its strange on how people meet. It really is. By chance did I meet Wufei, in gym class. A class I do not want to meet anyone in. I met him only a year before, but I felt that I knew him as though I've known him all my life. We had gone threw some tough things during the summer, and now here we are together in the same school. He would be leaving in another two years up to some other place with his family.
Trowa was a chance meeting as well. Two years ago I had met him in some old keyboarding class. We sat at the very back. We talked alittle and exchanged some details about each other. But that was about it. We had gym together but we didnt talk. I grew to like him alot. Him with thoughs green eyes and tall body. I will still blush when I think like that. But the next year, I had him in every single class. Every one. By the third week of school, I had asked him out. He said yes. And we are still going together.
Sean? Well Sean is Wufei's friend that I hadn't known nor wanted to know before I actually got to know him. He's cool, but strange. He has no feelings once so ever. None at all. He'll smile, play, be human, but you can see it in his face theres nothing behind it. He calls Wufei a whore sometimes because of the way he acts around certain people. I go along with it. Catering to what each one of them want.
Thats all I'm good for. Catering.
The bell rings. Off to class I go. Journalism. Joy.