Disclaimer: This fic does not actually feature Donna. And if I owned Doctor Who, THIS WOULD BE CANON. Think of that, and tremble!

.o.O.o.

"Wait, wait, wait--hold on a second," Rose said. Then she thumped him on the shoulder. "I said stop a moment, will you?"

The Doctor stopped. "What? What is it?"

"You just said, 'Jack.'"

There was a very long, very awkward pause.

"No, I didn't," said the Doctor.

"You totally did."

"You must have misheard me."

"You all but shouted it, Doctor. And since when does 'Rose' sound anything like 'Jack?'"

There was another pause.

"Er... I love you?" he ventured.

"Get off me."

.o.O.o.

"We need to talk," Rose said the following morning.

The Doctor squinted groggily up at her from the couch. "We do?"

"I'll be in the car."

.o.O.o.

She didn't look at him when he climbed in. She just clenched her jaw and started the car. He wanted to ask where they were going, but it became apparent that they weren't going anywhere: they just circled the wide, gravel drive in front of her parents' mansion.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?"

The Doctor considered the question. Then he cleared his throat. "You're going to be angry."

"I'm already angry," she pointed out reasonably.

"Right," he said. Then, "I think I fancy blokes."

Rose punched the brakes, and the Doctor's face collided with the dashboard; he'd neglected to put on his seatbelt.

"What?!" she snapped at him as he clutched his nose in agony.

"I think it's to do with being half-Donna and all that," he explained, eyes streaming. "She had, er, quite a thing for the Captain, and--"

"And what, she just--passed it onto you?" Rose spluttered, glaring at him. "Like a virus?!"

"Rose," the Doctor said gravely, though the effect was spoiled somewhat by the nasal quality his voice had taken on, "it's a perfectly natural state of being. Even for humans."

There was another awkward pause. They'd been having a lot of those, lately.

"On the beach, you did seem a bit... unenthusiastic," she mused, resting her chin on the steering wheel.

The Doctor shifted in his seat. "I do love you. I'm just not in love with you." He thought it had been a rather neat turn of phrase, but judging by the look Rose was giving him, she wasn't impressed.

"Get out of the car," she said.

.o.O.o.

The Doctor sat at the small, rickety card table in his small, unimpressive flat. The elder Tylers had been generous in setting him up with his own place, but not too generous. He flipped through the classified section, hoping to find something interesting in the 'help wanted' section.

LOOKING FOR EXCITEMENT? We need a healthy, discreet individual of above-average intelligence to fill a recently vacated position within our group. Excellent running skills a must, as well as a willingness to relocate to Cardiff, Wales. Contact Mr. Harkness at...

The Doctor reached for the phone, and grinned.

.o.O.o.

FIN