I wondered what it was going to be like.

I've never seen the inside of a girl's room.

I also wonder if there is really going to be tea.

Eliza invited me over for a tea party. She said that I would be the only one invited so I wouldn't have to worry about my little issue with groups. I reminded her that it wasn't an issue as much as it was a phobia.

My father told me not to worry that at her age it's more or less going to be a pretend party. That she's actually stuffed animals around that she's going to pretend to be people. He also said she probably had to do that a lot, which I agreed. Even though she was more popular then me with the neighboorhood children she was sick most of the time and couldn't just go out and play with them.

When I was about half way to her house, I thought about turning around. I kept walking because I knew that spending time with Eliza was always worth any anxiety I felt.

Eliza's mother answered the door. She lead me pass the living room where I normally would talk with Eliza.

She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and looked up them with a worried look on her face.

"Eliza's room is the door to the left. I think I can trust you to play nice."

She walked away humming a little tune that didn't match the expression on her face, it was an attempt to self sooth.

I noticed a series of bells on a cord that must have been an alarm system. Following the cord I saw that it lead to Eliza's room, her door was open.

I felt myself tense a little.

Why was this such a big deal? We are...I suppose friends. I should be used to her by now.

I felt myself walk a little slower, but this only made the anxiety increase.

In a desperate attempt to get over the dread in my stomach I tried to run to her door, to put an end to the feeling in my stomach but I tried on the carpet and feel down.

I heard laughing.

I felt myself blush.

"Johann you're so funny!"

I got to my feet, straightened my shirt and stared at my shoe laces.

"Come in, come in. Take a seat next to Rufus."

I looked up.

Her room was a little smaller then mine. The wall paper a pink and white stripe pattern that had tiny roses in it. Her bed was placed next to the window and her blankets where white and very plain. Her stuffed animals both on her bed and the ones around her seemed new, or rather...extemely clean.

She sat at a small white wooden table, that matched in material and color with her desk. Which was covered in books.

Her seat at the table was a large plush bear with a pink bow, she looked as if she was getting the world most literal bear hug.

Besides the expected personal touches her room was rather bare.

She tapped her finger on the table and I looked at it.

"Oh uhm...Which is Rufus?"

She pointed at the big rabbit. I could tell she was having a little problem breathing like normal. She was taking deep breathes.

As I walked over to the table I looked at her.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, just...yes I'm fine."

I sat next to Rufus in a white chair. There was, including Eliza and myself, five seated.

The china on the table was painted beautifully, I could tell it was real porclien, with gold handles.

"Mother says it's my inheritance, but she lets me use with them"

I think to myself that this is probably because her mother fears that Eliza will die young.

"You're the first person I've gotten a chance to use them for." I can understand, the china looks delicat and I doubt anyone that I've seen around our age, running around on the street would know how to properly handle them.

I glance at Rufus. I saw some teeth bit marks and I thought about it.

It was a toy she had for a long time, and the thought that she had chewed on it was actually rather cute.

She was breathing a little easier now. Which is good, I might be studying to be a doctor but I'm far from being able to handle a crisis situation. But if she needed me to, I would try.

She leaned over the table and poured some water.

"I don't actually like tea all that much I hope that's alright with you..."

I only liked some kinds of tea, beign the picky consumer that I am.

But I didn't want to tell her that. She looked very happy to have someone to share this moment with.

I sipped quietly.

A silence had fallen. I guess this wasn't what she wanted when she asked me over.

"...I'm sure you noticed my mom is a little..."

"Medicated?"

I covered my mouth. I didn't mean to say it out loud, but I had gotten more comfortable with being blunt with Eliza over time. I had noticed the humming and near constant frowns on her mothers face during my visits.

"Yes, actually...she takes some medicine to help her relax usually...she is ..."

Eliza lifted her arms up and waved them around in all directions. Her mother always appeared worried but calm, the medicaton must be working.

" I'm sure she isn't always anxious..."

"I wouldn't know a mother to be any other way. But my father is the same way so it's like they are met for each other..."

She smiled. She seemed amused by her parents.

I looked around again. Disinfectant, hand sanitizers, air sprays and the cord leading to her bed.

A clean world for a sick girl.

Whatever gives them peace of mind.

It's amazing what people do to ease their minds, which in the end, don't really work.

Eliza was looking at me.

I glanced at her and sipped more water.

"Rufus says you're invading his bubble"

"Bubble?"

"His area of comfort."

It was nice to talk to someone with a nearly equal vocabulary. Such a grasp on life and adultness. It's how we are able to talk for hours on end, enjoying the convestation.

"Do you notice that most children in the neighboorhood are..."

She lifted her arms again and waved them in all directions.

I feel a tiny crack of a smile. "...Yes..."

She laughed a little.

"Sometimes they look right down silly..."

"Yes..."

We took a sip of water at the same time.

"Must be nice..."

I don't say anything, she wants to be one of them, where I don't.

She was looking at her cup.

I looked at the window...the one that she waved down at me from. She must spend enough time sick to need the bed near the window, so she can pass the hours sick looking out the window. One of those times we spotted each other. a simple wave and now for the first time in my life I have someone to pass the hours with.

"I'm glade wer'e friends"

At first I thought it was someone else saying it but then I realized it was me. I blushed and brought the cup to my face only the water kept going and I got the water on my face.

Eliza laughed so hard she cried.

She coughed and then found her composure.

She smiled and hadned me a cloth to dry myself with.

I dried my face off and smiled something about her laugh made it worth getting splashed.

When it was finally time for me to go I heard Eliza's mother on the phone. I noticed she was chewing her lip. I looked up at the wall right next to the phone and saw the usual framed photographs of Eliza. There are many of her as a baby and young child and as she gets older there are less. I'v e always felt that they are hopeful. Her parents don't have to cling so desperatly and record every breath because the next might not come.

Eliza's mother got off the phone, she spotted me and followed my gaze. She tried to smile as she mummbled at me. She walked past me.

She bumped a bell so I knew she was going up stairs.

I waited, normally one of Eliza's parent's would show me the door. It felt odd not to have one of them chatter at me as I was left, but it was late enough.

I let myself out. Making sure to close the door behind me, hopefully they wouldn't think it was rude of me without a formal good-bye.

I walked onto the side walk and I looked up at the window I knew was Eliza's.

Rufus was waving good bye.

I smiled and walked home.

Eliza would have spent alot of time in hospitals, she would be around adults and probably read alot. She would probably been able to talk to the equally nerdish Johann on a simular level but her people skills are better as she's always dealing with doctors and fellow patients so she would be able to get along with her age group better.

The bell cord system is in case of emergencies, since I imagine her mother staying at home and around the house pulling the cord would alert her to a problem.

Her parents would have spent alot if not all their time, energy and money worrying about their chronically sick daughter it's not hard to imagine them needing some sort of medication to calm their anxieties.