It was a night between Christmas and New Year, and a light rain fell throughout the city of New York. The cold night wind beat against his body, freezing even your lips.
Elliot ran his hands over his head, and then saved them back in their pockets. It was cold. Looks lost, firm steps, rushed. His mind was in elsewhere.
A chill ran down his spine, and, in a feeble attempt to keep herself warm, joined his arms against his body.
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
For so long, Olivia Benson was much more than just a working partner. She had been his friend, her companion, her savior.
He had become accustomed to the idea that she would always be there to help, to save him somehow. Now he was lost, a void took over his chest. The ground was opening up and giving rise to a hole background, the swallow.
The only thing in your life that never changed, had just left, running through your hands.
False promises, lies that hide their meanings, definitions that had changed places, and he didn't know exactly when this change had happened. That was what bothered him most.
And I'm hearin what you say but I just can not make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
* Flash back in *
Why she hadn't spoken with him before? He really thought he deserved an explanation.
Now Olivia was there, standing in front of you. 'We needed to change', he did not seem able to believe what she was saying. 'I'm sorry, I should have spoken to you before,' it couldn't be happening, it was too unreal, 'but it's complicated. "
Did not think I'd turn around, and say ...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
'Thank you for letting me know,' was all he could say. Throat tightness, all feeling repressed. He felt betrayed, his pride was wounded.
Elliot wasn't accustomed to losing, especially like that, in these circumstances.
* flash back out *
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
He would do anything to have her back, and he was too proud to admit it out aloud, but he couldn't prevent his thoughts.
Elliot joined in a narrow path between some trees dead, following the poor street lighting.
But it's nothing new
I loved you with a fire red
Now it's turning blue, and you say.
He took one packet of cigarettes that was in his pocket. He had never done this before.
He lit the cigarette with some difficulty, trembling his fingers, with his eyes Smoke invaded his mind.
"Sorry" like an angel,
heaven let me think was you
He remembered she, that, in the same way, always invading your mind.
She, his smoke. The fog that prevented him from moving forward. Something real, inaccessible.
But I'm afraid ...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
He let the smoke out.
Keep it inside him could be bad.
He laughed at that thought
Elliot continued walking, loathing the thought of his former partner, which once time was his best friend.
I'm holdin on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground ...
Shame, he felt completely useless and more childlike than ever. The heat of betrayal invading his face that varied between pale and red.
Pale of nausea, lack of emotion. Red caused by the shame, marked by anger. Red throbbing fast throughout his body, from one end to another, feeling the first time in a long time that he was alone. Naked. Unprotected. Helpless and alone against such injustice. His Tears were cold, empty. As empty as any other part of his revolted body.