A/N Hello! Welcome to How to Succeed in the Avengers Without Really Trying! It's based off the Tumblr list called 62 Things the Avengers are Not Allowed to Do (link on my blog). I'm very excited for this, and I hope you guys are as well! They will not be very long chapters, as they're just drabbles.
Prompt 1: Tony is not allowed to replace the entire contents of the cafeteria with Pop-Tarts just because Thor has declared it the "food of the gods."
Days on the Helicarrier got a bit…well, rowdy, for lack of a better word. The Avengers felt the need to pull shit that they shouldn't. They were surprised that Fury hadn't made them a rule book yet.
Today was definitely a rowdy day—thanks to Stark, of course.
About a week ago, Thor had come back from Asgard to help with some Avenger business. The conversation that had ensued was not professional at all. Thor had discovered Pop-Tarts for the first time. Tony Stark had been chowing down on a blueberry flavored one at the time when Thor started questioning the breakfast food.
"What do you call this?" Thor had snatched the pop-tart out of Tony's hand, making the corner crumble between his fingertips.
"That, my friend, is America's favorite food. The legendary Pop-Tart. The mother of all breakfast foods," Stark had been exaggerating. However, Pop-Tarts were seemingly one of Tony's favorite foods.
Thor had examined the rectangular frosted food, squinting his eyes as he flipped it from front to back. After a few minutes, Thor's gaze traveled from the Pop-Tart to Tony. "May I try this Pop-Tart you speak of?"
"I'd be offended if you didn't," Tony replied. He was clearly amused by the Asgardian never experiencing a Pop-Tart.
Thor took a bite of the Pop-Tart, leaving about one fourth left for Tony. Thor's eyes had gone wide as he chewed and swallowed. "Astounding!" He took one look at the remaining Pop-Tart before throwing it on the ground and grinning. "Another!"
Thor walked up to Tony and took his shoulders into a tight grip. "I declare your Pop-Tart as the food of the gods!" Thor yelled excitedly. He released Tony, pushing him back a bit, before storming off to go tell the others of his discovery.
You would have thought that that was the end of the whole Pop-Tart thing. But no. Tony had to drag it out further.
It was late at night on the Helicarrier and most everyone was sleeping except for the few staff that was keeping them in the air. All the Avengers slept except for one. Guess who? Tony, yes.
How the hell he got so many boxes of Pop-Tarts, nobody will ever know. He took all the food out of the cafeteria and replaced almost everything with those damned Pop-Tarts.
When Thor woke up the next morning, he made his way to the cafeteria for his daily big meal. The others followed behind him, but no one was prepared for what would occur next. Especially Fury.
Thor's eyes went wide as he discovered that there were Pop-Tarts galore. There was the blueberry he tried, but all the other flavors had showed up as well.
"All for you, buddy," Tony came behind him and patted his shoulder.
"Man of Iron, I am in your debt!" Thor announced as he ransacked all the Pop-Tarts that were available.
Tony, Bruce, Natasha, and Clint watched as Thor went crazed. They all knew of how deep of shit Tony was in, but this was quite a sight. He couldn't care less.
"Stark! A word!" Fury's voice rang through the cafeteria.
Tony had a knowing smirk placed on his face as he replied, "Yes, dear," and followed Fury out.
Long story short, Tony was yelled out for a good hour or two before he got a break from Fury.
When Fury did retreat back out to the Avengers, he had a notepad with him.
"Whenever you all make stupid ass decisions, I am gonna write it in here as a rule that you can't do it again. Are we clear?" Fury wrote down what Tony had done before walking out again.
"Any regrets?" Bruce asked Tony, lifting his eyebrows in amusement.
"None," Tony replied and walked with Bruce to the science lab.
A/N This was really fun to write I'm excited to write the others! I hope you enjoyed! I don't know what the update schedule is for this, but I'm gonna try to figure it out. Love you !