Magic – A Dancer's Path

Karasu-chan karasumouri@earthlink.net

Archived:

Defying Destiny

ASMR

Regular disclaimers apply; "Magic" is by Ben Folds Five

Pairing: Kunzite/Zoisite

Labels: Angst, songfic, shonen-ai (m/m), short, character death

October 4, 2003

Warning: Un beta-ed If you'd like to edit it, please contact me at the email noted above, I'd appreciate the help. At the moment I just don't have the motivation to read through it.

Summary: A third person narrative reflecting on Kunzite's character in the aftermath of Zoisite's death.

From the back of your big brown eyes

I knew you'd be gone as soon as you could

It was not so much sadness as it was the emptiness that ached his entire body. Sustenance of any kind did little to appeal to his senses; nothing mattered. Everything lost its meaning: sight, touch, sound, taste… Emotions no longer held a position of importance, not that he had really ever shown they had, but even within the most secreted  part of himself the emptiness slipped in.

Images of memories caressed his numbed mind, conjuring ghostly images and sounds to wander about him as he went about his tasks as was his duty. To serve was the only command he could now answer to, and in so serving his Mistress he prayed for the day to come when he would not return. How he longed for the plane beyond this existence—somewhere far from the lonely ache that was everything and nothing at all.

The event had not really been so surprising, he had always steeled himself to the possibility of someone he cared about would die. He'd been aware of the possibility since his earliest memories of childhood, and so he had forced himself to be cold and distant. When ages passed with only one other being for true comfort, however, a bound beyond all others forms. The sudden absence of a soul mate was not to be taken lightly.

And I hoped you would

We could see that you weren't yourself

And the lines on your face did tell

It's just as well

You'd never be yourself again

Despite the pain—or perhaps absence thereof—he found himself living with post-mortem,  a very distance, separated part of himself felt relief. Finally free from hefty bonds full of entrancing lies and betrayals, his lover could return to himself in the form that he had once been before corruption had set in and corroded away at what he had once been.

He longed for such freedom as well, but could not seek to do it with his own hand. His Mistress forbid it. What she said was never countered. He recalled the questions roused from the lips of his student, his friend, his lover—remembered how the Queen had punished him and the helplessness that hung in the air as one lover stood, frozen, and the other smoldered on the ground.

Saw you last night

Dance by the light of the moon

Stars in your eyes

Free from the life that you knew

Closing his eyes, he could envision the heavenly body of his lover's spirit twirling patiently through the night sky. The stars became both setting and prop for the silent tale as the blond-haired wraith touched ghostly toes to Orion's belt and stretched thin arms wide to embrace the opposite side of the heavens. The dance was all encompassing, blessed by moonlight overseeing the events, pacifying both dancer and observer. In his throat he caught the knot of sadness, the only thing that lingered other than the nothingness, and swallowed hard. It was another order.

"Do not grieve for him, Kunzite!"

She could not be countered.

You're the magic that holds the sky up from the ground

You're the breath that blows these cool winds 'round

Kunzite emerged in the human realm, more precisely Tokyo, Japan, and cast a cold, cursory glance over the lighted city. It meant little to him other than the fact that here were the murderers of his lover and the only hope of salvation for himself. He felt no emotion, not anymore, towards the sailor-suited senshi his Mistress directed him to kill. The hatred had been canceled out by the overwhelming grief that was hidden beyond his reach. He acknowledged that he could only escape with their aid, and thus they were a blessing, not a curse.

As he descended to face off against the objects of his thoughts, he thought he felt a strange wetness linger on his cheek. His gloved hand automatically reached up to his face, touching the cooling smear of moisture near his mouth.

Trading places with an angel now

Saw you last night

Dance by the light of the moon

Stars in your eyes

Free from the life that you knew

Saw you last night

Stars in your eyes

Smiled in my room

The heavens surrounded his phantom body. His eyes could see all that he desired and he roamed his gaze wonderingly along the Milky Way and to the moon. On the small, pale face he could clearly see a figure smiling with content as she sat proudly with chin in hand as she looked down on Earth. He didn't need to look at the planet to know what was happening there—he had just been there and didn't wish to look back.

He could feel the ghost of a breeze brush his body, smearing the edges of his ethereal form into undefined lines. Turning, he took in the rest of the universe that lay spread open before him. Not so far away he could see the dancer of his dreams stretching languidly, a small smile in place. The figure caught his gaze and smiled. Leaning forward, a hand was proffered and he accepted without hesitation. As he allowed himself to be pulled forward, he felt himself drowning in the eyes filled with starlight.

This was what it meant to be complete.

~Owari~

Author's note: written because of having a very lousy day and needing to vent my pent up energy in some form of creativity. I love this song, well, I love the group overall, and have wanted to do a songfic for "Magic" for some time now. I rather like this short piece that has come out even if no one else thinks it's great. ;;^^ Well, I'd hope that someone else likes it, but I'll be comforted knowing that it came at a time of icky badness… and some feelings of betrayal.