Where do I belong?
I don't own any creepy pasta or black butler i own my self in this story thou .
Song: why cant i even dream
"I'm nothing, worth nothing, just taking up space in the world. " I was the first born child in my family, well not really. My parents had a baby boy who died during birth so I was the second born made first, about one and a half months later after my fourth birthday , my baby brothers were born premature so I fade into the back ground only being notice when I messed up, so I grew to crave attention like now . I was carving into my skin words I was made to believe. I stopped when my phone started to ring, my friend, my only life line, Lauren. "Ashlee are you okay, you haven't called me like normal in about a week." Her voice was sweet and kind, something I grew to cherish , I-I loved her so much , so much she didn't know I would die to gain her love forever .
"I'm okay, I-I've just been busy all week." I felt my warm blood running off my forearm out of the word ' Whore' the pain had faded every time I've done this so now I only felt a sting and then warmth , the warmth was like some one holding me close. "Okay, are we still up for spring break? " Lauren's voice was chipper and I could imagine a cherubic smile on her face. "Sure, little dear." I was feeling the comfort of the tingling warmth leavening me. "Okay but I have to bring a few people with me." I hung up on her after that desperately wanted my warmth back. My blood had tainted the grey carpet a dirty red grey mix. "They will suffer for the pain they've caused me." Part of me I've kept quiet, the side that wanted my family, and those who cause me pain, to die.
My favorite character was Jeff the killer; he did what I wanted to do, kill family. I've tried many times, too many to count , every time I've gone too my brothers to get them first, my humanity tells me to stop, well not telling me to stop more like yelling and fighting to keep them alive. I heard my parents and younger brothers come home so I quickly bandaged my arms and slipped on my red hood and left for down stairs. "Dinner everyone." I walked into the kitchen only to turn into my mom's knife as she turned around. I made a gasping sound,' she stabbed me, she stabbed my eye!' Something twisted and snapped I went into a blind rage; I pulled the carving knife from my eye socket and tackled my mother.
I didn't see my mother; all I saw was a part of my life that needed to be snuffed out to kill my pain. "I'M NOT USELESS YOU BITCH! I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO GET YOUR ATTENTION FROM MY BROTHERS!" I was swinging the sharp carving knife into my mother's chest and abdomen again and again until she stopped moving and my father was trying to pull me off. He was next I cast the carving knife aside as he tried to revive her. I grabbed the bread knife and ran its serrated blade against my thumb, my beloved warmth returned and kept the fire of pain and hate going. "She isn't coming back, why don't you join them daddy, my brother will join you both soon any way." I stabbed the knife into the base of his through and twisted it." W-why this." He garbled out." Because you treated me like shit for eleven years and two months. I'm just giving you what you sowed." I kissed his forehead before all of the life drained from his eyes.
"Good night daddy, goodnight mommy. I'm going to tuck my brothers into bed now." I soaked the blood from my destroyed eye up with a peace of my mother's dress. I retrieved my carving knife from the floor, I wasn't going to massacre my baby brothers I was going to make them sleep, and save them from this cruel world. I walked up stairs to their room and knocked. "Its big sister, I need to come in." the door opened and a scream came from my oldest baby brother, Trace. 'No don't kill them let them live!' It's too late I have to protect them from this world. "Goodnight baby brothers, I love you." Trace was first I quickly snapped his neck so he couldn't feel any pain. "Ashlee, why are you doing this?" Jared's ice blue eyes gazed at me with sadness and pain, like mine. "I can't save you, you've suffered like me Jared. "A stray tear slipped from my hazel eyes, I hugged him close and left out the window shattering it as I passed threw it. When my feet hit the ground I ran into the woods, it was hard to see, my good eye was gone. My blood loss kicked in , how much had I lost? I heard a static fizz in the calm air . like when you played slender and slender man was near you . "I tried to save them god I really did, but I couldn't kill my last baby brother. He was already like me. "My soul was in pain as my two sides conflicted a song came out .
"Desperate and so lonely, I've looked for you.
And left behind all that I had ever longed for.
Cold winds scream through my ears like a banshee.
A freezing chill- A pain that still will forever haunt me.
Yet I have made it here
Running through all the fear.
The sadness in my heart retains the pain.
And if I fall, I've learned
That I may not return.
None of my love remains.
Yet I have made it here.
Make this pain disappear.
My one and only, Prince Charming.
And still I wonder, why can't I even dream?
Tears fall like a rainstorm I barely see.
A twisted grin broken within. Am I going crazy?
Yet I have made it here
Bearing this love, my dear.
Bearing the weight of it upon my knees.
And if I scream your name
It's not returned in same
I bed, forget me please.
Yet I have made it here.
Make this pain disappear.
My one and only, Prince Charming.
(And still I wonder, why can't I even dream?)
And still I wonder, why can't I even dream?"
I looked up while singing and saw something threw my blurred vision. A white blob with black holding it up, what was it? "So you've caused the panic. We could use you; He needs a playmate any way." I passed out in the warm strangers arms.