Author's Note: This fic will focus on all four girls. There will be flings, hook ups, and uncommon pairings as well as lasting relationships. Very few characters will be heterosexual. Queerness and title inspired by The L Word.
Warning: Rated M for sexual content, underage drinking, drug use, language, and some violence.
Chapter 1 - Benches and Bitches
"Today in local news, Rosewood High School is unveiling a memorial bench for the second anniversary of fourteen year old Alison DiLaurentis's murder. This hate crime shocked the small community back in 2009, even reaching some national attention. It is still heavily debated on whether fellow Rosewood native Ian Thomas, found dead at the scene of the crime due to an apparent suicide, was actually guilty or not. DiLaurentis's family and friends, surprised to learn of the young girl's intimate relationship with the twenty-five year old, claimed that Thomas's known dislike of the LGBT community was his motive to harm the openly bisexual teen—"
The radio was silenced with a quick jab. Emily Fields turned off the car, sitting in silence as she watched her peers gawk at the new memorial bench across the parking lot. The sun gleamed off of the freshly polished bench with an angelic glow. The whole thing was disgusting.
Emily jumped when a sharp knock thumped against her car door. Hanna Marin flashed a flawless smile at her through the window. Exiting the car, Emily shouldered her bag. "Can you believe this?"
Hanna shrugged, checking her reflection in the car windows as they passed. "Ali would eat this shit up if she could see it."
"They didn't even know her." Emily scowled at the small crowd. Most of the students were freshmen, their curious stares and low whispers giving them away. To them the bench wasn't there to honor Alison; it was there for a dead girl, a town scandal.
"Relax, Em." Hanna rolled her eyes as they entered the building. "It's just a dumb bench. They're making a big deal about it right now, but in a few days people will be putting their butts on it and sticking their gum under it and everything will go back to normal."
They reached their lockers, finding the rest of their tightknit clique already there. Spencer Hastings spun around to face Emily and Hanna. "It's about time you two showed up. Did you guys stop by the bench?"
"Nope." Hanna answered, eyeing an attractive sophomore girl as she walked by. "Did you?"
"Yeah, we saw it on our way in." Spencer replied, watching Aria Montgomery out of the corner of her eye.
Aria closed her locker and faced the group. "There were flowers. It was nice."
Hanna grinned while scrolling through her phone. "Do you think this thing will attract Ali's ghost? I can totally picture her trying to haunt Rosewood."
"Ghosts aren't real." Spencer leaned against the row of lockers. "We've definitely had this conversation before."
Aria waved away Spencer's comments. "Ghosts are real, but I doubt Ali would ever hang around this place. She hated this town."
"You're joking, right?" A voice from behind had the group searching to find the source in the crowded hallway. Four sets of eyes quickly landed on the small body of Mona Vanderwaal. "Alison DiLaurentis is so not a ghost. She did all her terrorizing while she was still alive. If I had to guess, I'd say she's probably busy celebrating her second year as the new ruler of Hell."
"It is too early for this." Hanna sneered.
Mona chuckled. "Still worshipping a dead girl. You four really are pathetic."
Spencer put on her signature condescending grin. "Sounds like someone still has a lot of misplaced anger from when the Lollipop Guild kicked her out of Munchkinland."
The short girl smirked up at them. "Cute. But if I'm in Oz, we're all in Oz. Alright, Tin Man?"
"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Spencer narrowed her gaze.
"Isn't it obvious?" Mona giggled excitedly, her mind wheeling as it prepared a slew of insults for them. "You're the Tin Man, because you're a clever stonehearted bitch who only cares about furthering herself in life. A Slytherin, if you will allow multi-fandom references in this truly remarkable comparison. Hanna is obviously the dumbass Scarecrow, lacking a brain and all common sense."
"Excuse me?" Hanna snapped, angrily tossing her phone into her purse.
Mona continued. "Emily would be our Cowardly Lion, never able to stand up to Alison…or really anyone for that matter. Speaking of dear beloved Alison, she's clearly the Wicked Witch, yet all of you saw her as Dorothy leading your band of misfits down the yellow brick road to the Emerald City."
"Where am I in this delusional trip to Oz?" Aria asked, partly out of curiosity and partly in an attempt to stump her.
"Down, Toto." Mona answered with a chortle, starting to back away. "You girls better control Alison's favorite scruffy little bitch before she gets into trouble. I hear she bites."
The four girls watched as Mona spun on her heels and strutted away down the hall.
Hanna shook her head. "I can't believe I ever used to be friends with her."
Without warning, Aria smacked Spencer's arm. "Ow! What was that for?"
"A munchkin? Really? Mona is like the same height as me." Aria barked.
"Oh." Spencer backtracked. "Well, I mean, you'd make a really cute munchkin. Mona is more like one of the flying monkeys."
Aria crossed her arms, grumbling out her response. "At least you got to be a main character. She called me the dog."
Hanna snorted. "Fuck Mona. She's trash and she knows it. Ditching her was seriously the best decision I have ever made. She's a toxic person. She'll try anything to bring you down to her level."
"Em, you okay?" Spencer placed a cautious hand on Emily's shoulder. "You've been pretty quiet."
"The Cowardly Lion." Emily nodded gloomily. "Figures."
Hanna stared at the group in amazement. "You guys, it's Mona. She's just looking for a fight. That's the kind of twisted person she is. You can't listen to anything she says."
"Yeah, forget her." Aria added.
The bell rang, causing the hallway to erupt into the familiar morning chaos. Spencer and Aria, heading in the same direction, bid farewell to Emily and Hanna.
"We should do something after school." Spencer suggested once they were far enough away. "Em looks like she's going to need the support."
"At least she got out of bed this year." Aria pointed out as they rounded a corner. "I was worried we'd have to show up at her house after school with buckets of ice cream again."
Spencer eyed her shorter companion cautiously. "Hey, um…can we talk? Not now, but later? Maybe during lunch?"
Despite the warning bells going off in her head, Aria couldn't resist. "What about?"
Spencer raised an eyebrow. "I think you know."
Aria sighed dramatically. "You know, it's really none of your business."
Grabbing Aria's wrist and pulling her to the side, Spencer leaned closer and whispered, "Aria, he's a teacher. It isn't going to end well. It's one thing to hook up with a stranger in a bar restroom, it's another thing to find out that the stranger you hooked up with is now your new English teacher and continue to hook up with him."
"Keep your voice down!" Aria hissed.
"A teacher." Spencer repeated, her tone full of judgment and concern.
Aria's eyes darted worriedly around the hall at the students and faculty passing by. "We're not talking about this here."
"At lunch then." Spencer replied. She didn't bother hiding her disgust when Ezra Fitz appeared down the hall. He wasn't aware Aria had told her friends that the two had been seeing each other.
"Stop looking at him like that." Aria snapped, hitting Spencer's arm again.
"What is with the arm slapping today?"
"You know, jealousy doesn't look too good on you, Spence."
"Jealousy?" She forced a laugh, trying hard to keep her emotions in check. "I'm not jealous. I'm looking out for you. That's what friends do, Toto."
Aria couldn't help but crack a smile. "Whatever you say, Tin Man. Hey, I'll see you after class. I need to talk to Ezra."
Watching Aria go, Spencer's own smile faded as her true feelings crept back up on her. Of course she was jealous. It had been over a year since their breakup, but the way she felt about Aria had never changed. They had told everyone, a part from Emily and Hanna, that the decision to split had been mutual, but that was certainly not the truth.
Across the school, Hanna was busy reapplying her lip gloss in the girls' restroom when the late bell rang. Her perpetual tardiness didn't bother her, nor did it bother her first period teacher. They had an understanding. If Mr. Ross ignored her lateness, she wouldn't show anyone the pictures on her phone of him and the principal's wife being a little more than friendly in the storeroom at their last church function. The restroom door opened, an unfamiliar girl strolling in. Hanna shamelessly looked over the girl from head to toe. She was a stunning blonde with what appeared to be a very toned, athletic body.
"By all means, take your time." The girl smirked, a seductive glint in her eyes.
Hanna put on her most charming smile. "I don't believe we've met. I'm Hanna."
"Kate." The girl replied, stepping closer. "I'm new to Rosewood. It's my first day here, actually."
"Ah. Why Rosewood?" Hanna tossed her lip gloss back into her purse on the sink counter, ignoring the vibrating phone. The new girl had her complete attention.
"My mom got engaged. The fiancé lives around here. We won't be staying in Rosewood too long, though. They're already looking for a new place."
"Interesting. Will you be needing someone to show you around town then?" Hanna propositioned.
Kate stepped even closer, until she was inches away. She glanced from Hanna's eyes to her lips. "How about we skip all that and just go straight to the fun part?"
Hanna's smile grew wider just before the new girl's lips were aggressively pressed against her. Surprised, she stumbled back until Kate had her pressed up against the wall. Their kisses were hot as their hands roamed freely. Hanna managed to catch her breath when the new girl started trailing sloppy kisses down her neck.
"Someone might come in." Hanna warned, not worried about that possibility in the least.
Kate giggled. "Hope they enjoy the show."
Hanna smirked, flipping them so that Kate was the one with her back to the wall. She slid the new girl's skirt up as they kissed. She teasingly caressed the outside of Kate's panties until she was literally begging for more. Only then did Hanna push aside the thin fabric to give her what she wanted. Kate orgasmed quickly, painfully pulling Hanna's hair as she did. She gave Hanna a few quick kisses before nudging her way out from being pinned against the wall. Fixing her outfit, she blew Hanna a kiss and exited the restroom without a word. Hanna stood in silence, her fingers still glistening in the fluorescent lights. She looked at her reflection in the mirror above the row of sinks and shared an incredulous look with herself before washing her hands and beginning the tedious task of reapplying her lip gloss.
When the bell signaling the end of first period rang, Emily was the first person out the door. She rushed to her locker in the attempt to skip the usual between classes conversation with her friends. Catching their concerned glances and enduring their words of support was going to drive her over the edge. Before she could get away, however, Hanna caught her.
"Hey, you are seriously never going to believe what just happened to me." The blonde grinned, opening her locker just as the other girls arrived.
"And what's that?" Aria asked, less out of burning curiosity and more out of friendly duty. Knowing Hanna, it was probably something trivial like finding a week old half-eaten burrito in her bag.
Hanna wiggled her eyebrows. "Okay, so you know how I always go to the girls' room in the morning before class?"
"Much to Mr. Ross's displeasure, I'm sure." Spencer commented.
"Yeah, well, I was in there and this random new girl comes in and totally starts going at it with me." As Hanna's voice lowered, her smile grew. "I had this girl coming in like three minutes flat; a new personal record. Then she just up and walks out the door. Not even a thank you. Like, um, hello? I have needs too, you know?"
The girls erupted into laughter. Even Emily couldn't help but find amusement in Hanna's expression.
Spencer raised a questioning eyebrow. "Are you sure you didn't just take a nap while peeing again and dream the whole thing?"
"Okay, that happened one time freshman year. Guys, I'm being completely serious here." Hanna's gaze travelled wildly between her friends, almost desperate for them to believe her. "I probably even have a few scratch marks to prove it."
Aria shrugged. "Alright, who was she?"
Hanna hesitated, her mind reeling to recover such a specific tidbit of information. "Some new girl. Said her name was Kate, I think."
"Only you, Hanna." Emily added, getting a laugh from the group. It was no secret that Hanna got around with the ladies. The girl had experienced more sexual encounters than the other three combined.
"Oh, please. Like I'm the only one of us hooking up with strangers in bathrooms." Hanna gestured to Aria. "How come Toto over here gets a free pass but when I do it suddenly I'm the big slut?"
"At least I didn't hook up at school." Aria threw back.
"Yet." Spencer grumbled, earning a less than pleased look from Aria.
"Well, now I can scratch that off my bucket list." Hanna shrugged.
Spencer rolled her eyes. "Am I the only one here who thinks maybe you should get to know a person a little bit before you let them in your pants?"
"It's just a comfort level thing. Everyone is different." Aria quickly answered.
"What about you, Em?" Spencer turned to her. "What do you think?"
Emily looked at the ground. "I don't know. I guess it depends on the situation."
"Don't knock it until you try it, girls." Hanna said, shutting her locker.
"Yeah, it's actually a lot of fun. The fear of getting caught, the excitement of trying something new…it's a rush." Aria looked at Spencer. "You never know, doing something that seems crazy might actually do both of you some good."
Hanna nodded. "And if it doesn't get you going, just walk out. What does it matter? They're a stranger, it literally does not matter what they think. Odds are you'll never have to talk to them again."
As if on cue, Aria spotted Mr. Fitz leaving his classroom down the hall. He immediately caught her staring, leaving them both awkwardly averting their eyes. It had been two weeks since senior year had begun, but she imagined seeing him within the walls of Rosewood High would always be strange.
Noticing the exchange between Aria and their teacher, Spencer fixed her posture. "Fine. I'll do it if Emily does."
"Yes!" Hanna bounced up and down in her excitement. "Come on, Em. We're just asking you to try hooking up with someone. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Just try it out and see how it goes. You might like it."
"I haven't done anything since…" Emily trailed off as the girls gave her looks filled with pity. "You know what, whatever. I'm in."
Spencer adjusted her bag. "Well, if Em and I are doing this, what are you two going to do? Abstain from unprotected bathroom hookups for a week? That doesn't really seem like a fair tradeoff."
Hanna mulled it over. "I could try taking a few more things off my bucket list."
"Anything on there more thrilling than sex at school?" Spencer teased.
Hanna rolled her eyes. "There's actually some pretty challenging stuff on there."
"What about you?" Emily asked, looking at Aria.
She shrugged. "I don't have a bucket list."
"You can borrow mine." Hanna grinned. "I'll write up a new copy tonight."
Aria adjusted her bag, her eyes glancing back to the place where she'd last seen Mr. Fitz. "Somehow I don't think this is going to end well."
Later at lunch, each girl had an objective in mind. Hanna was busy deciding which bucket list item to tackle first, Emily was on the nervous lookout for a potential girl to try hooking up with, Spencer was still determined to speak privately with Aria about her ongoing inappropriate activities with their English teacher, and Aria was doing anything she could to avoid that very confrontation with Spencer.
Finding her excuse, Aria rushed to Emily's side for a private chat. "Hey, Em. I just wanted to check up on how you're doing. It's been a long day for all of us, especially with that bench out there now."
Emily stared at the apple in her hands. "I'm fine. I really just wish people would stop walking on eggshells around me. Ali's been gone for two years but it's like people are still afraid to say her name around me."
"Everyone knew how much you cared about her. They're just looking out for you. But, hey, new topic…I think there's a girl checking you out over there." Aria discretely motioned toward the lunch line.
Emily followed Aria's notion, laughing when she saw the girl. "Uh, Aria, that's Paige McCullers. She's on the swim team with me? She's literally the most homophobic person I've ever met."
"Oh, right. I remember you talking about her now. Uh, well, what about that one over there?" Aria gestured to a different girl.
"You don't have to play matchmaker. I can handle it on my own." Emily started walking toward their lunch table again.
Aria struggled to keep up with her long stride. "You're right. I guess I'm just excited for you."
"Thanks, but I've got this." Emily gave her a polite smile, effectively ending the discussion.
They sat down at the table, finding themselves lost in the middle of Hanna and Spencer's conversation.
"What are you two going on about?" Aria questioned with a puzzled expression.
Spencer pointed at the blonde. "She has officially lost it."
Hanna smiled, pleased to have stirred up such a strong reaction. "I think we should have a party tonight."
"A party?" Aria raised an eyebrow. "Tonight? Of all nights, you want to have a party…tonight?"
"Ali would love a party in her honor." Hanna defended.
"She would." Emily agreed, receiving surprised looks from the girls.
"It's completely morbid." Spencer replied in disbelief.
Emily sat up straighter. "Let's do it. I'm tired of the way people look at us when someone mentions her name."
Hanna bounced in her seat. "Yes! That's what I'm talking about. Fuck all that fake sympathy bullshit."
"Where would we even throw a party?" Spencer asked. "I really don't think that any of our parents would allow a 'our friend has been dead for two years so let's get trashed' party."
"What about the lake house?" Hanna suggested, giving Spencer a pleading smile.
"Yeah, that would be a great place. We could keep the invite list small." Aria added.
Spencer crossed her arms as she thought it over. "How small?"
"Thirty people?" Hanna offered.
Upon seeing Spencer's immediate disapproval, Aria threw out, "Fifteen?"
"No more than fifteen." Emily promised, breaking what little defense Spencer had left.
Spencer uncrossed her arms and leaned forward so that the others would pay close attention to what she had to say. "Fine, we'll have a small party at the cabin, but my parents can never know about this. And that place has to stay spotless. I mean it. We'll have to clean it from top to bottom before we leave."
"Perfect." Hanna grinned, already typing away on her phone.
"I'm serious, Hanna." Spencer warned. "Keep it small."
With her attention never leaving her phone, Hanna replied, "I'm just going to invite enough people so that you and Em have good chances of getting lucky tonight."
Feeling their eyes on her, Emily cleared her throat. "Sounds good to me."
Spencer and Aria shared a knowing look but made no comments. The subject eventually changed, but the party loomed like a dark cloud in the back of Emily's mind. On one hand, she agreed with Spencer. A party on the anniversary of Ali's murder sounded like an awful way to honor her memory. But on the other hand, she knew Ali would love just this kind of thing. In the end, Emily knew that she had spent more than enough time grieving. She needed to move on.
—
FLASHBACK —July 14th, 2009 – Less than two months before Alison DiLaurentis's murder
Running her hands through Emily's hair, Alison smiled. "Your hair is gorgeous."
"Thanks." Emily blushed, turning to face her. They were sitting on her bed, waiting on the other girls to arrive. She loved it when Alison showed up earlier than the others. She loved the way Alison always made sure to dedicate time for just them. Honestly, she just plain loved Ali.
"You've always been my favorite." Alison announced unexpectedly. "I want you to know that."
"Why?" Though she was blushing, Emily found it hard to look away. Ali had that kind of power.
Alison smiled. It was the kind of mischievous smile that was filled with secrets. "Did you know that people call you the innocent one?"
Emily's brows furrowed. "Who?"
"People." She shrugged dismissively, placing her hand over Emily's on the bed. "But they're right. That's one of the things I love about you. You're pure. You see the best in everyone."
"I love you." The words escaped Emily's lips before she could stop them.
Ali's smile never faltered, but something resembling sadness glinted in her eyes. "Someday you will find a girl that will love you in every way that you deserve to be loved."
Emily swallowed hard as embarrassment washed over her. "Why did you let me kiss you in the library? Why didn't you stop me?"
Lifting Emily's chin until they were staring into each other's eyes, Alison answered, "Because I didn't want to stop you. But I also don't want to hurt you. I'm not good for you, Em. We both know that."
"You don't have to protect me. I'm not a child." Emily leaned in, capturing Alison's lips with her own. One kiss led to another until they were both so focused on the other's lips that they didn't notice their friends appearing in the doorway.
—
PRESENT
The party was in full swing at the Hastings' family cabin. Despite the clear agreement at lunch, far more than fifteen people were on the property. Luckily for the other girls, Spencer was having too good of a time to care. As soon as the guests had started arriving, she had challenged Hanna to a one-on-one drinking game. She lost horribly, as expected.
"Let's play truth or dare!" Aria exclaimed, nearly spilling her drink in her eagerness. "Come on, let's play truth or dare. It's the last thing we ever did with Ali."
"It was her favorite game." Emily mentioned, taking a large sip from her cup. She would need plenty of liquid courage to actually go through with hooking up with someone.
"Truth or dare!" Hanna shouted, pulling random partygoers toward the fun as she went. After taking a seat by Spencer on the floor, she yelled, "Get your asses over here! We're playing a game! Spence, you're the host. Start us off."
Eyeing the playing crowd, Spencer smirked when she found her target. "Toby, truth or dare."
Toby Cavanaugh nervously cleared his throat. "Uh, dare."
"I dare you…" Spencer glanced at Caleb Rivers. "…to give your boyfriend a lap dance."
The two longtime lovers shared matching grins as a random partygoer jumped up to switch the music.
"Play something sexy!" Hanna demanded, already pulling her phone out to record the dare.
The lap dance set the mood for the rest of the game. The dares proceeded to get dirtier, the truths more revealing.
"Em, truth or dare?" Aria asked, still sticky from where Caleb had done a body shot off of her.
"Dare." Emily answered. Her palms were already sweaty in anticipation.
Aria handed her an empty bottle. "I dare you to have seven minutes in heaven with the lucky person this lands on."
Emily quickly spun the bottle, trying hard to overcome her nerves as it slowed. She was happy when the bottle landed on Maya St. Germain. Emily didn't know the girl very well, but she knew plenty about her. Maya was Hanna and Caleb's go to dealer. Known for being extremely laid back and openly pansexual, Maya was probably the perfect person to spend seven minutes trapped in a closet with.
There was a cramped coat closet near the cabin's front door that they were pushed inside of by the giggling duo of Hanna and Aria.
"Seven minutes starting now!" Hanna announced from the other side of the door.
Maya illuminated the small space with the light from her phone. She flashed Emily a friendly smile. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."
Emily's first instinct was to take Maya up on her offer and sit this one out, but her mind changed upon remembering the all of the looks she had received that day. So many faces filled with pity for her, so many people asking her if she was doing okay. She was tired of Ali being the only thing people knew about her. It was time to give them something new to talk about.
Emily smiled as a surge of confidence hit her. "If you're scared, don't worry. Your secret will be safe with me."
With a cute, sarcastic tone, Maya replied, "I didn't peg you for that kind of girl, Emily Fields. What will people think when they find out the truth? So scandalous."
Before she could talk herself out of it, Emily swooped down and gave Maya a quick kiss. She whispered against May's lips, "Fuck what they think."
They kissed again and again, each one more heated than the last. Feeling brave, Emily pressed Maya against the closet wall. Aware of their short time, Maya spread her knees as Emily's leg found its place against her. Her hands tightly gripped Emily's hips as they sensually grinded against the other's thigh. Maya deepened their kiss by slipping her tongue past Emily's lips. Lust erupted deep within Emily, a feeling she had nearly forgotten. She was in the middle of sliding her hands under Maya's shirt when the closet door was opened a few inches.
"Time's up." Hanna giggled, her own hand doing a poor job of covering her eyes.
Not embarrassed in the slightest, Emily exchanged one last lingering kiss with Maya before leaving the closet. Hanna smiled, peeking through her fingers at the intimate moment. The trio returned to their spots, no one giving Emily and Maya anything more than a welcoming smile.
"How'd it go?" Spencer whispered, glancing between Maya's flushed face and Emily's confident pose.
Emily smiled. Her head was spinning and her lips were buzzing. What she was feeling wasn't love at first kiss, but it was certainly much better than the ball of sadness that had been living in the pit of her stomach for so long. "I'll tell you later."
"That good?" Spencer raised an eyebrow, surprised that Emily had gone through with it.
"I haven't won the game yet." Emily clarified, referring to the deal the girls had made at lunch. "But at this rate, I'm definitely in the lead."
Spencer's competitive side flared up right on cue. Downing the rest of her drink, she surveyed the party in the hopes of finding a potential hookup partner. There was no way in hell she was going to lose this particular competition. It was true that she had only accepted to partake in this deal to spite Aria, but now it was a personal mission. If Emily could do it, so could she.
"Spencer, truth or dare?" Maya asked, having a hard time keeping her eyes off of Emily.
"Dare." Spencer answered boldly. The significant amount of alcohol in her system had the room a little on the blurry side. She tried to concentrate on the game at hand, but found it unusually difficult to focus on more than one thing at a time.
After getting a whispered suggestion from Toby, Maya said, "I dare you to play fuck, marry, kill with Emily, Hanna, and Aria."
"Isn't that more of a truth question?" Spencer asked the group. "And are we really going to use the word kill? Especially tonight, considering who we're supposed to be honoring with this party?"
Hanna groaned. "Change the words then. How about…do kinky stuff with, make passionate love to, and marry."
Spencer looked at each of her best friends. Emily was preoccupied with looking at Maya, Hanna had a shit-eating grin on her face, but it was Aria's deeply intrigued expression that caught Spencer's attention the most.
"I would do kinky stuff with Hanna, because we all know she would be the one to have the most experience in such areas." Spencer began, getting an uproarious laugh from the group and a cheer of victory from Hanna. "I would marry Emily, because honestly who wouldn't." The group nodded in agreement, making Emily blush. "And I would make passionate love to Aria." Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was the fact that she was so fed up with her own feelings, but regardless the words that fell from Spencer's mouth proceeded to shock all witnesses. "Because I love the way she says my name right when she's about to come."
Immediately, Hanna and Emily jumped to Spencer's sides.
Hanna gave the group an apologetic smile. "Okay, I think someone has had a little too much to drink. We're just going to take her upstairs. Aria? Some help?"
Hanna had suggested Aria tag along so that she and Spencer could discuss what had just happened, but it turned out Spencer was in fact much drunker and much less agreeable about going upstairs than they had originally thought. It took all three girls to get their friend up the stairs and into one of the guest rooms. Hanna and Emily quickly rushed out the door to escape the inevitable heated argument.
"What the fuck, Spencer?" Aria exclaimed, her hands balled into angry fists.
Spencer sat casually at the edge of the bed, her hair disheveled from her failed resists at being hauled upstairs. Her lack of a reply only angered Aria more, just as she knew it would.
Gritting her teeth, Aria pointed a stern finger at her. "You are drunk, you are acting out, and you are jealous."
Spencer scoffed. "I was just doing a stupid dare. You can blame Hanna for taking it too far in the first place."
Aria threw her hands up. "No! No, I will blame you. Hanna didn't make you tell everyone something so personal. You did that, you're the one I'm blaming."
"Fine. Blame me." She tried to control her slurring. "Blame me for everything, just like you always do."
Aria laughed dryly, shaking her head. "I'm not doing this with you right now."
"That's right. Run away, Aria. Keep running away from all your problems." Spencer gave a snarky smile.
Despite her better judgment, Aria snapped. "You see, this is the kind of shit you do that pisses me off so much. You think you know me so well. You think you know better than everyone. You're so full of yourself. You don't know everything!"
"Well, excuse me for trying to understand." Spencer replied, her voice lowering. "You left things pretty open to interpretation."
Aria spread her palms. "I explained to you how I felt the best that I could. I'm really sorry your feelings got hurt, but I did what I had to do."
"You make it sound like you ditched me at a party." She shook her head. "You broke my fucking heart. And you didn't even give me a good reason why."
Fighting back tears, Aria slumped down on the bed next to her. "Jesus, Spence, it's been over a year. This might sound harsh, but you have got to get over it. If you're not going to do it for yourself, do it for me. I need you in my life, okay? I need my best friend. That month after we broke up when you didn't speak to me…that was the worst month of my life. Your friendship means so much to me."
"It's always about what you want." Spencer's voice was barely above a whisper. "The only thing you ever gave me, you took away."
"It wasn't working out."
"We were perfect together. You got scared and ran away. That's what you do."
Wiping a stray tear from her cheek, Aria replied, "If you know every little thing about me, why did you ask me out in the first place? If I'm such a predictable person, why did you even bother?"
Spencer looked at her. "I guess I thought you would stay for me. Turns out, I'm not so special after all."
Aria sighed. "You always did go from being an angry drunk to a self-pitying drunk."
With nausea and tiredness hitting her out of nowhere, Spencer jumped up and rushed to the guest bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before the contents her stomach made their way back up. Kneeling beside her, Aria swept her hair back in a protective grip.
"Thanks." Spencer said weakly between gags.
"Shh." Aria soothingly rubbed her back. "Just get it all out."
Downstairs, the party was still in full swing. Hanna and Emily had returned to find that their game of truth or dare had gone to watch the final rounds of a beer bong competition in the front yard. Noticing that Maya was nowhere to be found, Emily trekked down to the lake. She found the girl sitting on the dock with a lit joint in hand.
"How's Spencer?" Maya asked as Emily sat beside her.
Removing her shoes and dipping her feet into the cool water, Emily replied, "She'll be fine. Spencer and alcohol never mix well."
"I'm sure Aria's giving her quite the talk right now." Maya chuckled, offering the joint.
"No thanks. I mean, I would, but the school does random drug tests on athletes so…" Emily trailed off.
"Oh, shit." Maya quickly recoiled. "My bad. I didn't even know you were into sports."
"Swimming." Emily smiled sheepishly as she thought about their brief encounter in the closet. It hadn't been more than fifteen minutes, yet it felt like hours had passed since their lips had touched.
"I'll have to go see you swim sometime. Are you any good?" Maya asked, blowing smoke out over the water.
"I'm not bad." She shrugged. Paige McCullers suddenly came to her mind. A fierce competitor and an outspoken homophobe, Paige was her biggest adversary both in and out of the water. Their mutual dislike for one another dated back to freshman year when Alison and Paige had first butted heads. Despite Paige's general horribleness, Emily was grateful for her presence on the swim team. They pushed each other to swim faster, train harder. Their determination to outdo the other had helped Rosewood break records in the pool.
"Not bad?" Maya asked, drawing Emily's attention back to the present. "I bet you're just being modest. You're probably the best they've got, huh?"
Emily smiled. "I hold a record or two."
"You're adorable." Maya grinned back, letting the joint hang casually from her lips.
"You're not so bad yourself." She replied.
With a playful albeit sexy look, Maya asked, "Hey, you want to go for a swim?"
Back inside the cabin, Hanna was taking another shot of straight vodka. She had lost count of how many shots she'd taken so far, but as an avid partier she knew her limits; there were always warning signs.
"Nice party." Toby said as he joined her in the kitchen area. "Is Spencer alright?"
"Thanks. And yeah, she'll pull through." Hanna answered, contemplating making herself a drink.
"Should we go check on her?" He suggested.
"Nah. Aria always takes care of her." She replied offhandedly.
"Those two really love each other." He commented, mixing a drink for himself.
"Yeah." Caving, she began pouring her own drink.
Toby leaned against the counter, sipping from his cup. "Do you think that they'll ever actually get back together?"
"Who knows." She shrugged, choosing random juices to add to her concoction.
"Are you okay?" He watched her carefully. "You seem a little…on edge."
"Sorry, I'm just not really in the mood to discuss Aria and Spencer's never ending love story."
"Sounds like there are some serious feelings behind that. Come on, let's talk." Toby led her to the stairs, climbing halfway up before sitting. "So." He looked at her expectantly. "What's up?"
"I don't know. I just sort of feel really shitty all of a sudden."
"Why?"
"I guess I'm just realizing how I've never experienced what all my friends have. Like, you know, Aria and Spencer will always be there for each other. Even when they broke up they couldn't stop fuckin' talking about each other. And Emily…I mean, her story is a little more complicated, but Em was the only person that Ali ever cared about more than she cared about herself. I just…I want to know what it feels like to really be in love. To have someone who cares about you more than anything else in the world."
After a few moments, Toby replied, "Love runs on its own schedule. When it's ready, it will show itself."
"I'm too impatient for that." Hanna sighed before downing the contents of her cup. "I mean, like, I'm happy for my friends. I'm glad Aria and Spencer have each other, together or not together or whatever the fuck they are. And I'm glad Emily is finally moving on from Ali. But, like, where is my happy story, you know? I deserve something good to happen to me, too. Do I sound like an asshole?"
"Definitely not. You can't help how you feel."
"It's like…" She searched for the right words. "…like, I don't even care about the whole happily ever after thing, you know? I'm not asking for a wife or whatever. I'm just asking for a person to love me. I don't care how long it lasts. I just want to know how it feels. I want to be able to say that I loved someone and that they loved me."
"It'll happen." He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.
"Thanks for listening." Hanna forced a smile. "Get me another drink? Please?"
He reluctantly left her on the stairs to refill their cups.
"Hey!" Hanna called out to a partygoer passing by. "Have you seen Emily?"
"Uh, I think she went out back?"
Forgetting Toby, Hanna jumped up. After pausing to regain her balance, she drunkenly staggered out to the back of the cabin.
Upstairs, Aria had just managed to tuck Spencer into bed.
"I need to rinse with mouthwash again." Spencer mumbled, feebly attempting to pull the covers off her.
Aria easily kept her in place with a gentle, unmoving hand on her shoulder. "You already rinsed twice. You're minty fresh, I promise."
Spencer stared up at her, a seriousness taking hold of her. "Does he make you happy?" With a small sigh, Aria laid down on top of the covers beside her. Annoyed at not getting an answer, Spencer nudged the smaller girl. "Well, does he?"
"Yes." Aria answered softly. It was true. Ezra Fitz was good to her. He made her laugh, they shared similar interests, he made her dinner all the time. He was a good man; very mature and respectful. He never pressured her, never asked her to do anything that she was uncomfortable with. "Yes, he makes me happy."
Spencer yawned loudly. "Do you love him?"
"We haven't even been together that long." Aria pointed out. "It's too soon."
Spencer smiled, her heavy eyes slipping closed. "You told me you loved me on our first official date."
Aria struggled to come up with a reply, but luckily soft snores filled with room before she was forced to say anything. Spencer was right, the love they had shared had been so obvious and powerful that they hadn't stressed about verbally expressing those feelings in the least. Saying 'I love you' had been the most natural thing in the world. With Ezra, she wasn't certain how she felt yet. It honestly was too soon, but at the same time she did have her doubts. Ezra was interesting and kind, but the most exciting thing about their relationship was the fact that it was forbidden. With Spencer, their relationship had been exciting all on its own. Then again, they were young and those feelings were new and fresh. Unable to dwell on her thoughts any longer, Aria pushed Spencer safely on to her side in case she woke up again to puke some more before fleeing the guest bedroom.
Down by the lake, Emily and Maya were just pulling themselves out of the water when they noticed a certain partygoer sitting at the edge of the dock watching them. Kicking her feet back and forth in the cool lake water, Hanna grinned cheerily at the two girls in their underwear. They quickly pulled their dry clothes back on, shivering as the night breeze picked up.
"Have a nice swim?" Hanna asked, bringing a cigarette up to her lips.
"I thought you quit." Emily replied, slightly annoyed. It had been a pain in the ass to get Hanna to quit smoking the first time around.
"It's been a long day." Hanna shrugged off the comment. "So, Maya…how was your seven minutes in heaven earlier?"
Maya glanced at Emily. "I don't kiss and tell."
Hanna chuckled while doing a terrible attempt at blowing smoke out in rings.
Noticing the time, Maya turned to Emily. "I have to get going, but I'd really like to hang out some time soon, if that's cool?"
"Yeah." Emily nodded enthusiastically. "Sure. That'd be great."
"I'll call you." Maya promised before heading back up to the cabin.
Emily took a seat beside Hanna, dipping her feet back into the water.
Hanna nudged her friend playfully. "See, good things happen when you put yourself out there and do something a little crazy."
Over Hanna's head, Emily could just make out an approaching figure. "Speaking of a little crazy…"
Aria wordlessly took a seat beside the girls. Hanna and Emily shared a knowing glance as Hanna took another long drag of her cigarette.
"I thought you quit." Aria muttered while the three friends watched the wind carry away the smoke as it left Hanna's lips.
Another long drag. "Shit happens."
"How's Spencer?" Emily asked quietly.
Aria stared up at the clear night sky. "Sleeping it off."
"Let me guess." Hanna smashed out the butt of her cigarette. "Same old speech? 'Aria, I love you. Aria, we were perfect together. Aria, no one makes me squirt like you do.'"
"Hanna." Emily snapped, glancing worriedly at Aria. Fortunately, the shorter girl didn't seem all that bothered by Hanna's jokes.
"No, she's right." Aria admitted gloomily. "Spencer does this way too much. Everything is fine one minute and then the next she's acting like we broke up yesterday."
"Sometimes it's hard letting go of the people you love." Emily said, catching both of her friends off guard. She rarely ever referred to Alison in conversation. "Especially when they're everywhere you turn."
Hanna nodded, directing her comment to Aria. "Double especially when you two go off and fuck every other month like clockwork—don't give me that look, we know you do it. But seriously, she's just pissed that you're too busy banging Mr. Hotpants this time around."
"Okay, so we slip up every now and then." Aria confessed. "But we're just friends."
Hanna laughed. "No, see, Em and I are friends. We've made out once or twice, and that was fun, it's whatever, but that's where it ended. Just fun. You and Spencer? You guys aren't just having fun. It's different. It's always going to be different."
A silence fell upon them for a few moments until they were drawn back the party. The rest of the night turned out to be fairly uneventful. Spencer roused from her nap around the time they finished cleaning up, and by dawn the four girls were all back safe and sound in their separate homes.
Glad to finally be alone, Emily changed into pajamas and readily climbed into bed. Just as she was about to fall asleep, her phone lit up on her nightstand. She pried open a heavy eye to read the new message. Eyes snapping wide open, Emily jumped up in bed as she reread the words over and over again. "Maya doesn't kiss and tell, but I do. How do you think your friends would feel if they knew the truth about the Jenna thing? Spend any more time with Maya and we'll find out. – A"
Over at the Marin household, Hanna was just sliding her key into the lock when the front door swung open. Hanna found herself at a loss for words when she found her father standing before her.
"Hanna?" Looking equally anxious and guilty, he moved aside to let her in. "What are you doing up so early?"
"I never went to bed." She answered slowly. "What were you doing here so late?"
"Oh, um…just visiting. Your mom and I had a few glasses of wine…while we were waiting for you to get home from your party. Knocked me right out. But I better get going. Don't want the fiancé to worry." He laughed nervously. With one foot out the door, he paused. "Han, are you busy later? I'd really love for you to come to dinner. Isabelle has been dying to meet you."
"Oh, uh, sure. Yeah, dinner sounds good." Hanna shrugged, not excited to meet the fiancé whatsoever.
"Great. I'll let her and Kate know that we have dinner plans with you." He said, distractedly checking to see if any neighbors were peeking out their doors.
Hanna almost didn't catch it, she was exhausted from the party and the cleanup, but once the name registered with her she was wide awake. "Wait, hold on. Kate?"
Her father's attention returned to her. "Yes. Kate. Isabelle's daughter?"
Recalling the girl from the bathroom earlier in the day, Hanna threw up her hands. "Since when does your fiancé have a daughter? Don't you think that's the kind of thing you should mention?"
He sighed heavily, his expression begging her to keep her voice down. "Hanna, I have mentioned this before. Several times. It's not my fault that you stop paying attention whenever I bring up Isabelle in conversation. Listen, you'll get to meet them both at dinner, okay? Now go on upstairs. You should get some rest. I'll see you tonight." He turned quickly and hurried across the driveway to his car. "I love you!"
"Love you too." Hanna mumbled as she shut the door. Mind spinning and stomach churning, she trudged her way upstairs and into her room. Angrily kicking off her shoes, she resisted the urge to chuck her buzzing phone at the wall. Clicking open the text from an unknown number, her jaw fell open as a clear picture of her and Kate in the bathroom, stealthily taken over a stall door, popped up on the screen. The attached message read: "There's no bond quite like sisterhood. Tell the fiancé about your dad's late night visit with your mom at dinner tonight or this picture will be on the menu. —A"
Meanwhile, Aria had finally settled into bed and was checking all of her social networks on her phone when she received a text. Opening the message, she wasn't surprised to see its contents. "I'm sorry for the way I acted tonight. It was totally uncalled for. You mean the world to me, nothing will change that. You're my best friend and your happiness is important to me. I guess I still have a lot to deal with on a personal level, but that's no excuse for the things I said. Forgive me?"
Aria was typing up a response the moment she finished reading Spencer's text. "Of course I forgive you. Best friends forever, right? Get some sleep and we'll talk more tomorrow."
She tossed her phone to the side, groaning as it immediately lit back up. She was tired and she'd dealt with more than enough of Spencer's shit for one night. Clutching her phone once again, she was surprised to see a blocked number staring back at her. "You might be hot for teacher but Spencer's still hot for you. Make her think she still has a chance or everyone will know about your extracurricular activities. —A"
In the Hastings residence, Spencer was pacing back and forth in her room. Staring at her phone, she debated sending Aria another message. Deciding to call it a night, she had just begun undressing for bed when her phone beeped. She eagerly skipped over to the device, but was disappointed to see an unknown number rather than Aria's. She opened the text anyway, the phone nearly slipping from her fingers as she read. "Truth or dare, Spencer? I dare you to spread some gossip that Fitz is involved with a student or everyone will know the truth about where you really were the night Ali was murdered. —A"