BIG, OMINOUS WARNING THINGIE:
This is yaoi, Taito, Daiken and a whole lot of other good stuff (regretfully
no lemon yet, I'm getting there!). Don't like, don't read. Simple, ne?
OTHER NOT-SO-IMPORTANT STUFF: Some bits of Takari, somebody almost drowning later, judicious Jun and Sora bashing (I actually like Jun, but I bash her anyway!), some I-guess-you-could-call-it-angst, Yamato idolization, Dai being *gasp* smart...
AUTHOR'S NOTE: *steps out of shadows shyly* Uh… hello, um. Hi. *runs away*
Heh. I've decided to stop lurking and post this damned fic (or what there is of it, anyway!). Please note: I'm taking a lot of creative liberty here. Flame me by all means if you must (for any reason except the fact that this is *gasp* a yaoi-ish fic), marshmallows taste so much better flame-grilled! I like praise (duh!), love intelligent criticism, accept having glaring plot holes brought to my attention; feel free to comment however you like! And watch out for my warped sense of humor!
I'm looking at about five chapters here, and maybe an epilogue. I will finish this.
Me being a perfectionist, I'm going to find dozens of mistakes in this, so later updates might just be smoothing the edges off some stuff.
BIG, OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER THINGIE: Not mine.
Well, in truth, there's not a whole lot that I can say about Yamato. He sings, he plays rhythm guitar, he's blonde and blue eyed, has a brother called Takeru. And a steel grip on my heart. But I'll get to that later…
Met Yama at summer camp, had a wild and wacky adventure. We became really close friends, half-brothers really, and it stayed that way all through the ups and downs of high school. Through all the sludge of grades, girlfriends, social life, soccer, through all that I had my faithful Blondie by my side. And in that time I got to know him, it seems, better than anybody save Takeru.
Matt… He's a pretty traumatized guy. You'd never guess it if you looked at him (which I do as often and for as long as I can!) or if you talked to him, but behind his modeled 'cool and calm' exterior is a soul that has been through the proverbial blender. His folks split when he was seven, and I think that was probably the one defining moment in his life. He taught himself, from an early age, that emotions were wicked things that drained one of sanity. Looking back, the first moment I really felt connected to him was when I first saw him crying and, as a silent sort of tribute to me, he didn't turn away. Makes me proud, because only a handful of people have seen Yama in such a state.
Another thing that's special about him is the strange sort of relationship he has with trauma. In any situation (be it attack by blood-crazed Digimon, nuclear holocaust, Friday traffic…) he keeps his nerve and his temper and looks for all the world that he couldn't be bothered. Then, in anything from one to five days later, he breaks down from what appears to be nothing, but what actually is the released emotion that had been bottled up and accumulated for a rainy day. Sometimes, the smallest things can set him off: having the TV volume too loud or pinching one of his shirts (I really have to get my own stuff!). It's like living with a time bomb, not knowing precisely when or where, but that it definitely will, blow up in your face.
I'm not complaining, though. It's just one of Matt's 'things'. He's a pretty decent roommate. Can cook like the best of them (you can always tell his mood by what he makes… Remind me never to touch his jalapeno stew ever again!), is a total neat freak when it comes to his stuff and does a pretty decent job of keeping me on time for any important appointments.
But, as I said earlier, I love him. Like red roses, fluffy hearts, candlelight, all that jazz. It's not exactly clear to me where these feelings came from. Thinking back, it was probably the time when, during their first digital adventure, Matt vanished with Gabumon 'to find himself'. Those few days a blur of worry, anger and regret for all of us, but especially for me, and it amazed me how strongly I had felt the absence of my quiet blonde friend. Since then, Matt has grown out of his childish insecurities, but he's still emotionally fragile in many respects, so I don't want to spring anything untoward on him.
I've never told him. I've been putting it off since junior high and I'm not about to gush my heart out to him now. Not without extensive planning, at least.
I don't know why I've found it so hard to share my feelings. Probably some deep-rooted subconscious fear of being rejected, a shrink would say. I dunno. But if I can't have his love for sure, I'd rather have half a friendship instead of risking pushing him away from me forever.
That's the Crest of Courage for ya…
Kamiya Taichi
Tai is one of a kind. I'd never met somebody who could be happy without pause, every second of every day, living like all the worries of the world slid from his shoulders like greasy rain. I don't understand it and, frankly, I don't believe that I would want to live like that. Maybe it's because my life has been shaped by misfortune that I'm so sensitive to it. But enough about me.
Fuzzhead is really smarter than he makes out to be. Maybe not in the traditional, 'Izzy-type' sense of the word, but he can read almost everybody like an open book, which is why, at the beginning of it all, I took such a strong aversion to him. I hate people knowing what's going on within me. And he knew, that much was plain. It occurred to me some years on in our friendship that no matter how I'd hide my inner turmoil, Taichi wasn't just some brainless hero-worshipper: the first time that I let him see me cry was the defining point in our friendship. I realized that, around him, I didn't have to be perfect, or strong, or brave. I could be my sensitive, emotion-receptive self, and I truly wanted to share my turmoil with him. It was a relief.
There are really only a few things that Tai believes are worthy of him to waste his precious time on: soccer, television, friends and food. Surprisingly, and not least worryingly (for me, at least), he's never had any sort of girl-crazy stage. Sure there were dates to the prom, and Sora (thank God that's over!). For the type of Casanova that he could have been, that's saying a lot. Anyway, he's brilliant at his chosen sport, and never has these 'I'm not good enough' moods that constantly plague me. Some people have been overdosed with luck... I would bet generous amounts of money that Tai didn't have a single problem in his life. Any takers?
I'm not actually sure about the state of our relationship. What I mean is, he's closer than a friend, something like a half-brother, but I can't help feeling that there's more to it than just brotherly love. I'm no expert, though, so don't take my word for it; and if Taichi has noticed, he hasn't said anything, which probably means that he's oblivious to it. Figures...
At least I know I'd never do anything to hurt him, and that he'll always have my shoulder to cry on. That's all that the bearer of Friendship has to offer, and I sincerely hope that's enough.
Ishida Yamato
Matt stood in front of the door to his shared apartment, feeling somewhat stupid.
No, strike that. Very stupid.
It was locked. Now, normally this wouldn't have phased him: he would have, like any sane person, produced a set of appropriate keys and efficiently removed the seals on the barricade. But today, Matt didn't have his keys. And, he thought with ironic ire, I know exactly who to blame for that…
"Bastard promised he would be home by now!" the eighteen-year-old grumbled sullenly, setting down his guitar case and satchel. Taichi, with whom he shared the humble abode, had sworn over and over again that morning that he would be home hours before the end of Matt's jam session and why should the blonde take a pair of keys when the door would be open anyway?
"Because I should have known by now not to depend on you!" he answered the silent question, addressing the wooden paneling of the door, sighed, and slid to the cold, hard cement paving. The chilly winter breeze that fanned his face through the open terrace before him did little to improve his mood as he pulled the sleeves of his thin polo neck further down his arms to cover his freezing hands. He should have expected this. When Taichi got anywhere within a hundred meter radius of soccer practice, all thoughts of appointments and schedules flew out of his mind. Resigning himself to what could potentially be a long way, he rifled through the pile of letters that he had retrieved a moment earlier, trying vainly to keep as much flesh covered by the meager protection that the thin black cotton offered.
"Junk mail, junk mail, speeding ticket for Tai (why the hell was he driving my car again?), junk mail, fan mail, letter from TK, electricity bill." That was all. Setting aside the adverts and bills, he tore open TK's letter eagerly.
Heya Big Bro!
How's life going? I'm having such a blast up here: we're having actual snow! James and I were fooling around in it yesterday, it was amazing! We made these really massive snowmen before the other guys came over and ploughed into them. We had snowball fights and everything! The Duncans have been the greatest hosts, so I'm really lucky. School's a bit tough, though, being all in English after all, but I'm allowed to take Japanese as an extra language so I'm top of the class!
Matt smiled in spite of his foul mood. Winters in Odaiba were gray and miserable, made even more unbearable by the absence of snow. The temperature hovered around zero degrees, cold enough to make everybody grumpy but never low enough to accommodate even minimal frost, much less actual snow.
Anyway, to the important stuff: Would it be okay for me to come visit you guys next month? We're having winter break in mid January and since I've got a job here that pays in pounds I have more than enough for the flight over. I know mom will be away, but maybe I can stay at your apartment? Just a thought.
Yamato's eyes brightened slightly on reading this piece of information. Takeru would stay with them, he'd make sure of it!
How's good ol' Taichi doing? Kari wrote something about him splitting with Sora, is it true? I hope not, because Tai would be heartbroken and moochy and I know how you hate that! Kari's been writing a lot lately and I miss her bunches, almost as much as I miss you (no sarcasm intended!). It was always cool having this mega older brother watching over your shoulder and keeping you out of trouble, but I guess I never really appreciated it until now. You were really great, especially during all those hard Digi-years. Don't think I ever told you that.
A momentary surge of regret, inadequacy and frustration washed over the blonde as he recalled his first days in the Digital World, when whatever he had done proved a wrong choice, when he had been separated from his helpless, innocent brother more than once. But it passed over his quickly, and he felt the old regrets ease now that he knew how TK had seen his efforts. Yamato's radiant smile returned.
Enough sap. I'm on the basketball team here, and these guys are GOOD! Nothing like the Odaiba league. This is serious stuff. Coach has us practicing nearly every day, even in the rain (which comes down hard and heavy here!). We're second in the standings! Our next game is this Thursday, indoor 'cause of the snow, against the as-yet-unbeaten log leaders. Coach had us going at overdrive!
Other news. There's a girl here that's been looking at me in that funny way that girls do when they…you know, have a crush on you…
"Hehe, even when writing letters, Teeks sounds nervous about attention from girls!"
…She's okay, blond and blue-eyed, and she's gorgeous (hey, reminds me of you!)…
Ahem.
…but she's no Kari. What should I do? I don't want to hurt her feelings, and you were always the master of letting those zany fangirls down gently. Need help! By the way, people here have actually heard of the Wolves! You guys are in CD stores and everything. Don't blush, Matt, you ARE good, even if you won't admit it to anyone else, admit it to yourself.
"You know I hate it when you're right, Teeks!"
Didn't you always dream of being famous? Just like you dreamt of walking on the moon. Little brothers are very perceptive at picking out those kinds of things.
"Shouldn't have expected anything less…"
But anyway, how is it going? Any special girls (or boys, you never know!)…
AHEM!
…in your life that I should know about? Hope mom, dad and Tai are treating you alright! Got any gigs lined up?
Got to go eat now! I'll write again soon!
Lots of love (feeling mushy today!)
TK.
Matt sighed as he read over the neatly printed words. Takeru had gotten a scholarship at a prestigious British school and had been sent over for two years. Already, six months in, the older blonde missed his unquenchable younger sibling terribly. But it cheered him to know that TK was happy and achieving great things. Loving his brother meant having to let him go.
Yamato neatly folded the letter and slid it into his pocket for safekeeping. Sighing, he picked up the fan letter, sealed in a heart-bedecked pink envelope. The handwriting was, to his eternal annoyance, all too familiar. Jun Motomiya.
Hey sweetie!
How are you doing? Great gig on Friday, loved your outfit! You looked so dreamy up there! I'd love to know what it's like being on stage with lights and a crowd and such (maybe you can call me up next time, it would be, like, totally amazing!). I hope my angel isn't being pushed around by his annoying roommate too much! If you are, I'm considering moving out to get away from goggle-head Dai, so maybe we could get a place together! That would be great for our relationship!
Anyway, ta ta and see you soon, my little blonde angel!
Lots of love,
Jun Motomiya (soon to be Ishida)
XXX
Matt wasn't sure if he should laugh, cry or change his identity and flee to a foreign country. He settled on the first option. Jun had been a plague on his life ever since that day that he had dropped Daisuke off at home after a late-night Digiworld adventure and had happened to collide into her on the way down. Starstruck, she still hounded him like an annoying rash. How many years had it been, and she still wasn't tired of her game even after numerous, scathing rejections by Yamato. Just went to show that hell hath no fury like a girl with a crush.
The sound of running feet down the passageway alerted Matt to the presence of another person approaching. Glancing towards the sound, he was chagrined, if relieved, to identify the familiar mop of disheveled hair, and its owner.
"Kamiya Taichi!" he admonished sternly, rising to his feet and retrieving both guitar case and satchel. The other boy looked abashed.
"Sorry, Yama-chan!"
"So, what's today's excuse?"
"Got tied down at practice again. Did you have to wait long?"
"Nah, don't worry about it." The blonde laughed, brushing his errant bangs from his eyes. "Had just enough time to read my fanmail!"
Taichi, hunting for his keys in the depths of his sports bag, glanced up with the air of a sympathetic, supporting friend. "Jun again? I swear, all this hero-worship is going to get to your head one day!" He aimed a casual kick at the unyielding door and it sprang open to reveal their quarters, small but adequate. Matt detoured past his room to drop his things before heading to the kitchen, where he knew the eternally-famished Kamiya boy would be, rummaging through the fridge. Rubbing his arms in an effort to restore their warmth, he had the usual, inevitable question thrown in his direction.
"What's for supper?"
Matt blew onto his frigid hands and perched atop the kitchen counter. "Nothing really, but I'm sure I could scrounge up enough for a veggie lasagna." It was an accepted fact that Matt was responsible for anything that involved breakables, high temperatures, and any machinery more complicated than the television remote control. That especially meant cooking. Taichi pulled his head out of the fridge and made a face, summing up what he though of the suggestion in two words.
"Rabbit food." Yamato was a vegetarian, and for all that he was excellent at food preparation, Tai wished that he would occasionally relent and make something (as he called it) carnivorous. "Let's order out. That way I an have something that isn't green and humanitarian," he joked, earning himself a sour look from the already disapproving blonde.
"Whatever, but if you're going to, I'll just make myself a salad."
"You can't live on grass, you know!" Taichi rolled his eyes good-naturedly, pulling out a grape cola from the icebox. For all that he joked and bantered with Matt, he couldn't suppress the flutter in his stomach whenever the other boy gave him a condescending look, or when he played, eyes closed, in front of thousands under the glaring stage lights, or when he sprawled on the couch deep into his lyric-writing.
Or when he shivered, almost silently begging to be held. Where Taichi was almost oblivious to the cold, he knew that his friend felt it actuely. Every winter for the past seven years, Tai had yearned to encase the blonde in a warming hug, to hold him close and shield his slender frame from the elements, and this year was no different. The restraint that he managed to muster had strengthened over time, so that now he was barely conscious of the decision not to pounce on Yamato.
But today...
As he cracked the soda open, he couldn't help but notice how shiny Yamato's hair looked under the soft kitchen lights, nor how his long legs hung encased in jeans that hid nothing of their slenderness. The brown-haired boy sighed inwardly as he gaze lingered upon the forbidden treasure that was his best friend. Kamiya Taichi couldn't help it. He was in love.
All that Taichi felt for this beautiful boy had been almost too strong for him to contain, yet the mere thought of destroying their friendship or causing Yamato any kind of agony restrained him from blurting out his feelings. He was almost certain that Matt would never reciprocate his feelings, but be too kind-hearted to just turn him down on the spot. But what if… He realised belatedly that the blonde was speaking.
"Tai!" Matt's loud yell shook his head free of his self-spun daydream cobwebs.
"Sorry. Spaced out there."
It was Matt's turn to roll his ice-blue eyes. "I asked what you were going to have." Tai has bee so flaky lately, even more than usual, if that's possible. I wonder what's wrong.
"Eh, whatever. Lasagna sounds fine, if you're making."
"You sure? I don't mind if you want to get a burger or something."
Tai nodded and slipped from the kitchen, feeling that if he remained in the presence of the radiant boy any longer something undesired would happen. What's up with me today? I've never felt quite like that before…
Taichi sauntered into the living room, a cozy place with a faux fireplace and thick cream curtains. Random pieces of clothing were scattered about; his, because Yamato never left a mess behind him. Just as he had arrived at the unpleasant decision to clean up, the sound of knocking followed by Matt's "I'll get it!" reached his ears. Deciding that the visitor most probably wasn't for him, the brown-haired boy picked up a pair of jeans and began folding it.
Meanwhile, Yamato strode to the door and unlocked it, absently pushing his golden bangs from his face again. The sight that greeted him was surprising: Daisuke stood there, goggles and all, red-eyed and sniffing as he pulled his forearm across his face. Almost on instinct, Matt glanced around for any traces of the boy's maniacal sister, but he was alone.
"Hey, Dai, come in. What's the matter?"
The red-head slopped in almost dripping depression, which was so unlike his usual state that Matt grew concerned. "Eh, I'm an idiot, that's what's wrong. Is Tai here?"
Matt indicated the direction in which he had last seen his roommate go. "Somewhere over there. Hey, you wanna stay for supper? Maybe that'll cheer you up a bit."
At this mention of food, Daisuke's cinnamon eyes cleared slightly. "You cooking?"
"Yeah."
"Then sure! Thanks," he added as he began questing for Taichi. His search was ended quickly when he saw his mentor, "Cleaning up? It's a miracle!" he pronounced before flopping down next to the pile of partially sorted items of clothing, disturbing their precarious pile. Almost instantly, the young boy's kicked puppy look returned.
Abandoning his seemingly fruitless pursuit of cleaning, Tai turned to his younger counterpart with concern. "What's up, Dais?"
"I'm such an ass."
"I'm with you so far."
He was on the receiving end of a disapproving glare. "Hey, it's partly your fault, you know!" Then Daisuke sighed again. "Sorry. Guess I'm just unlucky in love…"
"Oh, was there trouble? But I thought Ken… Hold on, tell me the whole story." He made himself as comfortable as the sagging couch allowed. Davis took a deep, hesitant breath.
"During break we were playing out on the pitch and I went up to him and said, 'Hey Ken, wanna catch a movie or something?', just like you told me to. He gave me the strangest look, said that he was busy and practically ran in the opposite direction. Then, during science (we're lab partners by the way), he hardly said a word which, granted isn't all that unusual for Ken, but he was avoiding me and… blushing." Himself crimson with embarrassment, Daisuke's head sank into his hands. "Gah, first prize for idiocy goes to… Motomiya Daisuke!"
Tai would have laughed if it weren't for his friend's depressed state. He patted Dai's shoulder sympathetically. "Just sounds like he's shy, Dais-chan! Give him a few days and ask again. Guaranteed Kamiya dating tactics! Remember, if you don't tell him how you feel, you'll never know if those feelings are returned."
Daisuke frowned at the implications of that. "But…but what if it ruins our friendship? He's never had any real friends, and I don't wanna chase him away."
"Well, you won't be able to be much of a friend if you spend the whole time silently mooning over him, right? Trust me, the best thing you can do is get it out in the open. He's a smart kid, remember. I'm sure he's figured out that you like him already."
Daisuke nodded along with this advice. "Sounds right to me. But… Hold it! How can you give advice that you don't even use yourself?"
"Eh?"
"I'm not as stupid as I act, Taichi! And neither are you. But you're very unsubtle." Davis indicated the kitchen door. "There's some stuff that you should 'get out in the open', too, you know!"
The Kamiya boy gave him a condescending look. "That's different." He doesn't know what goes on between Matt and me.
"Is it really? He's your best friend. He has to know!" Daisuke argued, marvelling at how quickly their roles had reversed. "He's going to find out sooner or later, if not from you then from TK, or Sora, or whoever lets it slip. Wouldn't it be better if you told him?"
Taichi frowned. I know that Dais is right! But after, how long has it been? Seven years? There's just too much riding on his rejection. Our friendship, our trust... He's going to hate me, if for nothing else, then for the fact that I've kept this a secret for so long...
"Dais, it's..." he began, but could not continue due to the arrival of a third party into the room. Daisuke couldn't help noticing Taichi's cheeks flushing.
Matt looked around the room and wrinkled his nose. "What a pigsty!" Aside from the clothes, the table was bedecked with whatever Tai had had for breakfast that morning, and there were some of his music sheaves lying scattered on the floor.
"Hey! I was trying to clean up!" Tai said, offended.
Matt leaned against the doorpost, folded his arms and raised an arching eyebrow. "Pigs aren't flying yet," he stated simply. Daisuke, who had been in the background, stared at Yamato's innocent posture and chiseled face with awe. Now he could truly appreciate how beautiful the blonde was. Not cute, not handsome. Beautiful. There seemed no other fitting adjective. "Anyway, the food's ready. I invited Dai to stay over," he informed Taichi and swept from the room. It was the younger boy's turn to pat Tai on the back.
"You've got your work cut out for you," he said sympathetically.
Questions, comments, anything? Email me at sweet_dream24@yahoo.co.uk or leave a review (hint, hint) ~_^
OTHER NOT-SO-IMPORTANT STUFF: Some bits of Takari, somebody almost drowning later, judicious Jun and Sora bashing (I actually like Jun, but I bash her anyway!), some I-guess-you-could-call-it-angst, Yamato idolization, Dai being *gasp* smart...
AUTHOR'S NOTE: *steps out of shadows shyly* Uh… hello, um. Hi. *runs away*
Heh. I've decided to stop lurking and post this damned fic (or what there is of it, anyway!). Please note: I'm taking a lot of creative liberty here. Flame me by all means if you must (for any reason except the fact that this is *gasp* a yaoi-ish fic), marshmallows taste so much better flame-grilled! I like praise (duh!), love intelligent criticism, accept having glaring plot holes brought to my attention; feel free to comment however you like! And watch out for my warped sense of humor!
I'm looking at about five chapters here, and maybe an epilogue. I will finish this.
Me being a perfectionist, I'm going to find dozens of mistakes in this, so later updates might just be smoothing the edges off some stuff.
BIG, OBVIOUS DISCLAIMER THINGIE: Not mine.
Well, in truth, there's not a whole lot that I can say about Yamato. He sings, he plays rhythm guitar, he's blonde and blue eyed, has a brother called Takeru. And a steel grip on my heart. But I'll get to that later…
Met Yama at summer camp, had a wild and wacky adventure. We became really close friends, half-brothers really, and it stayed that way all through the ups and downs of high school. Through all the sludge of grades, girlfriends, social life, soccer, through all that I had my faithful Blondie by my side. And in that time I got to know him, it seems, better than anybody save Takeru.
Matt… He's a pretty traumatized guy. You'd never guess it if you looked at him (which I do as often and for as long as I can!) or if you talked to him, but behind his modeled 'cool and calm' exterior is a soul that has been through the proverbial blender. His folks split when he was seven, and I think that was probably the one defining moment in his life. He taught himself, from an early age, that emotions were wicked things that drained one of sanity. Looking back, the first moment I really felt connected to him was when I first saw him crying and, as a silent sort of tribute to me, he didn't turn away. Makes me proud, because only a handful of people have seen Yama in such a state.
Another thing that's special about him is the strange sort of relationship he has with trauma. In any situation (be it attack by blood-crazed Digimon, nuclear holocaust, Friday traffic…) he keeps his nerve and his temper and looks for all the world that he couldn't be bothered. Then, in anything from one to five days later, he breaks down from what appears to be nothing, but what actually is the released emotion that had been bottled up and accumulated for a rainy day. Sometimes, the smallest things can set him off: having the TV volume too loud or pinching one of his shirts (I really have to get my own stuff!). It's like living with a time bomb, not knowing precisely when or where, but that it definitely will, blow up in your face.
I'm not complaining, though. It's just one of Matt's 'things'. He's a pretty decent roommate. Can cook like the best of them (you can always tell his mood by what he makes… Remind me never to touch his jalapeno stew ever again!), is a total neat freak when it comes to his stuff and does a pretty decent job of keeping me on time for any important appointments.
But, as I said earlier, I love him. Like red roses, fluffy hearts, candlelight, all that jazz. It's not exactly clear to me where these feelings came from. Thinking back, it was probably the time when, during their first digital adventure, Matt vanished with Gabumon 'to find himself'. Those few days a blur of worry, anger and regret for all of us, but especially for me, and it amazed me how strongly I had felt the absence of my quiet blonde friend. Since then, Matt has grown out of his childish insecurities, but he's still emotionally fragile in many respects, so I don't want to spring anything untoward on him.
I've never told him. I've been putting it off since junior high and I'm not about to gush my heart out to him now. Not without extensive planning, at least.
I don't know why I've found it so hard to share my feelings. Probably some deep-rooted subconscious fear of being rejected, a shrink would say. I dunno. But if I can't have his love for sure, I'd rather have half a friendship instead of risking pushing him away from me forever.
That's the Crest of Courage for ya…
Kamiya Taichi
Tai is one of a kind. I'd never met somebody who could be happy without pause, every second of every day, living like all the worries of the world slid from his shoulders like greasy rain. I don't understand it and, frankly, I don't believe that I would want to live like that. Maybe it's because my life has been shaped by misfortune that I'm so sensitive to it. But enough about me.
Fuzzhead is really smarter than he makes out to be. Maybe not in the traditional, 'Izzy-type' sense of the word, but he can read almost everybody like an open book, which is why, at the beginning of it all, I took such a strong aversion to him. I hate people knowing what's going on within me. And he knew, that much was plain. It occurred to me some years on in our friendship that no matter how I'd hide my inner turmoil, Taichi wasn't just some brainless hero-worshipper: the first time that I let him see me cry was the defining point in our friendship. I realized that, around him, I didn't have to be perfect, or strong, or brave. I could be my sensitive, emotion-receptive self, and I truly wanted to share my turmoil with him. It was a relief.
There are really only a few things that Tai believes are worthy of him to waste his precious time on: soccer, television, friends and food. Surprisingly, and not least worryingly (for me, at least), he's never had any sort of girl-crazy stage. Sure there were dates to the prom, and Sora (thank God that's over!). For the type of Casanova that he could have been, that's saying a lot. Anyway, he's brilliant at his chosen sport, and never has these 'I'm not good enough' moods that constantly plague me. Some people have been overdosed with luck... I would bet generous amounts of money that Tai didn't have a single problem in his life. Any takers?
I'm not actually sure about the state of our relationship. What I mean is, he's closer than a friend, something like a half-brother, but I can't help feeling that there's more to it than just brotherly love. I'm no expert, though, so don't take my word for it; and if Taichi has noticed, he hasn't said anything, which probably means that he's oblivious to it. Figures...
At least I know I'd never do anything to hurt him, and that he'll always have my shoulder to cry on. That's all that the bearer of Friendship has to offer, and I sincerely hope that's enough.
Ishida Yamato
Matt stood in front of the door to his shared apartment, feeling somewhat stupid.
No, strike that. Very stupid.
It was locked. Now, normally this wouldn't have phased him: he would have, like any sane person, produced a set of appropriate keys and efficiently removed the seals on the barricade. But today, Matt didn't have his keys. And, he thought with ironic ire, I know exactly who to blame for that…
"Bastard promised he would be home by now!" the eighteen-year-old grumbled sullenly, setting down his guitar case and satchel. Taichi, with whom he shared the humble abode, had sworn over and over again that morning that he would be home hours before the end of Matt's jam session and why should the blonde take a pair of keys when the door would be open anyway?
"Because I should have known by now not to depend on you!" he answered the silent question, addressing the wooden paneling of the door, sighed, and slid to the cold, hard cement paving. The chilly winter breeze that fanned his face through the open terrace before him did little to improve his mood as he pulled the sleeves of his thin polo neck further down his arms to cover his freezing hands. He should have expected this. When Taichi got anywhere within a hundred meter radius of soccer practice, all thoughts of appointments and schedules flew out of his mind. Resigning himself to what could potentially be a long way, he rifled through the pile of letters that he had retrieved a moment earlier, trying vainly to keep as much flesh covered by the meager protection that the thin black cotton offered.
"Junk mail, junk mail, speeding ticket for Tai (why the hell was he driving my car again?), junk mail, fan mail, letter from TK, electricity bill." That was all. Setting aside the adverts and bills, he tore open TK's letter eagerly.
Heya Big Bro!
How's life going? I'm having such a blast up here: we're having actual snow! James and I were fooling around in it yesterday, it was amazing! We made these really massive snowmen before the other guys came over and ploughed into them. We had snowball fights and everything! The Duncans have been the greatest hosts, so I'm really lucky. School's a bit tough, though, being all in English after all, but I'm allowed to take Japanese as an extra language so I'm top of the class!
Matt smiled in spite of his foul mood. Winters in Odaiba were gray and miserable, made even more unbearable by the absence of snow. The temperature hovered around zero degrees, cold enough to make everybody grumpy but never low enough to accommodate even minimal frost, much less actual snow.
Anyway, to the important stuff: Would it be okay for me to come visit you guys next month? We're having winter break in mid January and since I've got a job here that pays in pounds I have more than enough for the flight over. I know mom will be away, but maybe I can stay at your apartment? Just a thought.
Yamato's eyes brightened slightly on reading this piece of information. Takeru would stay with them, he'd make sure of it!
How's good ol' Taichi doing? Kari wrote something about him splitting with Sora, is it true? I hope not, because Tai would be heartbroken and moochy and I know how you hate that! Kari's been writing a lot lately and I miss her bunches, almost as much as I miss you (no sarcasm intended!). It was always cool having this mega older brother watching over your shoulder and keeping you out of trouble, but I guess I never really appreciated it until now. You were really great, especially during all those hard Digi-years. Don't think I ever told you that.
A momentary surge of regret, inadequacy and frustration washed over the blonde as he recalled his first days in the Digital World, when whatever he had done proved a wrong choice, when he had been separated from his helpless, innocent brother more than once. But it passed over his quickly, and he felt the old regrets ease now that he knew how TK had seen his efforts. Yamato's radiant smile returned.
Enough sap. I'm on the basketball team here, and these guys are GOOD! Nothing like the Odaiba league. This is serious stuff. Coach has us practicing nearly every day, even in the rain (which comes down hard and heavy here!). We're second in the standings! Our next game is this Thursday, indoor 'cause of the snow, against the as-yet-unbeaten log leaders. Coach had us going at overdrive!
Other news. There's a girl here that's been looking at me in that funny way that girls do when they…you know, have a crush on you…
"Hehe, even when writing letters, Teeks sounds nervous about attention from girls!"
…She's okay, blond and blue-eyed, and she's gorgeous (hey, reminds me of you!)…
Ahem.
…but she's no Kari. What should I do? I don't want to hurt her feelings, and you were always the master of letting those zany fangirls down gently. Need help! By the way, people here have actually heard of the Wolves! You guys are in CD stores and everything. Don't blush, Matt, you ARE good, even if you won't admit it to anyone else, admit it to yourself.
"You know I hate it when you're right, Teeks!"
Didn't you always dream of being famous? Just like you dreamt of walking on the moon. Little brothers are very perceptive at picking out those kinds of things.
"Shouldn't have expected anything less…"
But anyway, how is it going? Any special girls (or boys, you never know!)…
AHEM!
…in your life that I should know about? Hope mom, dad and Tai are treating you alright! Got any gigs lined up?
Got to go eat now! I'll write again soon!
Lots of love (feeling mushy today!)
TK.
Matt sighed as he read over the neatly printed words. Takeru had gotten a scholarship at a prestigious British school and had been sent over for two years. Already, six months in, the older blonde missed his unquenchable younger sibling terribly. But it cheered him to know that TK was happy and achieving great things. Loving his brother meant having to let him go.
Yamato neatly folded the letter and slid it into his pocket for safekeeping. Sighing, he picked up the fan letter, sealed in a heart-bedecked pink envelope. The handwriting was, to his eternal annoyance, all too familiar. Jun Motomiya.
Hey sweetie!
How are you doing? Great gig on Friday, loved your outfit! You looked so dreamy up there! I'd love to know what it's like being on stage with lights and a crowd and such (maybe you can call me up next time, it would be, like, totally amazing!). I hope my angel isn't being pushed around by his annoying roommate too much! If you are, I'm considering moving out to get away from goggle-head Dai, so maybe we could get a place together! That would be great for our relationship!
Anyway, ta ta and see you soon, my little blonde angel!
Lots of love,
Jun Motomiya (soon to be Ishida)
XXX
Matt wasn't sure if he should laugh, cry or change his identity and flee to a foreign country. He settled on the first option. Jun had been a plague on his life ever since that day that he had dropped Daisuke off at home after a late-night Digiworld adventure and had happened to collide into her on the way down. Starstruck, she still hounded him like an annoying rash. How many years had it been, and she still wasn't tired of her game even after numerous, scathing rejections by Yamato. Just went to show that hell hath no fury like a girl with a crush.
The sound of running feet down the passageway alerted Matt to the presence of another person approaching. Glancing towards the sound, he was chagrined, if relieved, to identify the familiar mop of disheveled hair, and its owner.
"Kamiya Taichi!" he admonished sternly, rising to his feet and retrieving both guitar case and satchel. The other boy looked abashed.
"Sorry, Yama-chan!"
"So, what's today's excuse?"
"Got tied down at practice again. Did you have to wait long?"
"Nah, don't worry about it." The blonde laughed, brushing his errant bangs from his eyes. "Had just enough time to read my fanmail!"
Taichi, hunting for his keys in the depths of his sports bag, glanced up with the air of a sympathetic, supporting friend. "Jun again? I swear, all this hero-worship is going to get to your head one day!" He aimed a casual kick at the unyielding door and it sprang open to reveal their quarters, small but adequate. Matt detoured past his room to drop his things before heading to the kitchen, where he knew the eternally-famished Kamiya boy would be, rummaging through the fridge. Rubbing his arms in an effort to restore their warmth, he had the usual, inevitable question thrown in his direction.
"What's for supper?"
Matt blew onto his frigid hands and perched atop the kitchen counter. "Nothing really, but I'm sure I could scrounge up enough for a veggie lasagna." It was an accepted fact that Matt was responsible for anything that involved breakables, high temperatures, and any machinery more complicated than the television remote control. That especially meant cooking. Taichi pulled his head out of the fridge and made a face, summing up what he though of the suggestion in two words.
"Rabbit food." Yamato was a vegetarian, and for all that he was excellent at food preparation, Tai wished that he would occasionally relent and make something (as he called it) carnivorous. "Let's order out. That way I an have something that isn't green and humanitarian," he joked, earning himself a sour look from the already disapproving blonde.
"Whatever, but if you're going to, I'll just make myself a salad."
"You can't live on grass, you know!" Taichi rolled his eyes good-naturedly, pulling out a grape cola from the icebox. For all that he joked and bantered with Matt, he couldn't suppress the flutter in his stomach whenever the other boy gave him a condescending look, or when he played, eyes closed, in front of thousands under the glaring stage lights, or when he sprawled on the couch deep into his lyric-writing.
Or when he shivered, almost silently begging to be held. Where Taichi was almost oblivious to the cold, he knew that his friend felt it actuely. Every winter for the past seven years, Tai had yearned to encase the blonde in a warming hug, to hold him close and shield his slender frame from the elements, and this year was no different. The restraint that he managed to muster had strengthened over time, so that now he was barely conscious of the decision not to pounce on Yamato.
But today...
As he cracked the soda open, he couldn't help but notice how shiny Yamato's hair looked under the soft kitchen lights, nor how his long legs hung encased in jeans that hid nothing of their slenderness. The brown-haired boy sighed inwardly as he gaze lingered upon the forbidden treasure that was his best friend. Kamiya Taichi couldn't help it. He was in love.
All that Taichi felt for this beautiful boy had been almost too strong for him to contain, yet the mere thought of destroying their friendship or causing Yamato any kind of agony restrained him from blurting out his feelings. He was almost certain that Matt would never reciprocate his feelings, but be too kind-hearted to just turn him down on the spot. But what if… He realised belatedly that the blonde was speaking.
"Tai!" Matt's loud yell shook his head free of his self-spun daydream cobwebs.
"Sorry. Spaced out there."
It was Matt's turn to roll his ice-blue eyes. "I asked what you were going to have." Tai has bee so flaky lately, even more than usual, if that's possible. I wonder what's wrong.
"Eh, whatever. Lasagna sounds fine, if you're making."
"You sure? I don't mind if you want to get a burger or something."
Tai nodded and slipped from the kitchen, feeling that if he remained in the presence of the radiant boy any longer something undesired would happen. What's up with me today? I've never felt quite like that before…
Taichi sauntered into the living room, a cozy place with a faux fireplace and thick cream curtains. Random pieces of clothing were scattered about; his, because Yamato never left a mess behind him. Just as he had arrived at the unpleasant decision to clean up, the sound of knocking followed by Matt's "I'll get it!" reached his ears. Deciding that the visitor most probably wasn't for him, the brown-haired boy picked up a pair of jeans and began folding it.
Meanwhile, Yamato strode to the door and unlocked it, absently pushing his golden bangs from his face again. The sight that greeted him was surprising: Daisuke stood there, goggles and all, red-eyed and sniffing as he pulled his forearm across his face. Almost on instinct, Matt glanced around for any traces of the boy's maniacal sister, but he was alone.
"Hey, Dai, come in. What's the matter?"
The red-head slopped in almost dripping depression, which was so unlike his usual state that Matt grew concerned. "Eh, I'm an idiot, that's what's wrong. Is Tai here?"
Matt indicated the direction in which he had last seen his roommate go. "Somewhere over there. Hey, you wanna stay for supper? Maybe that'll cheer you up a bit."
At this mention of food, Daisuke's cinnamon eyes cleared slightly. "You cooking?"
"Yeah."
"Then sure! Thanks," he added as he began questing for Taichi. His search was ended quickly when he saw his mentor, "Cleaning up? It's a miracle!" he pronounced before flopping down next to the pile of partially sorted items of clothing, disturbing their precarious pile. Almost instantly, the young boy's kicked puppy look returned.
Abandoning his seemingly fruitless pursuit of cleaning, Tai turned to his younger counterpart with concern. "What's up, Dais?"
"I'm such an ass."
"I'm with you so far."
He was on the receiving end of a disapproving glare. "Hey, it's partly your fault, you know!" Then Daisuke sighed again. "Sorry. Guess I'm just unlucky in love…"
"Oh, was there trouble? But I thought Ken… Hold on, tell me the whole story." He made himself as comfortable as the sagging couch allowed. Davis took a deep, hesitant breath.
"During break we were playing out on the pitch and I went up to him and said, 'Hey Ken, wanna catch a movie or something?', just like you told me to. He gave me the strangest look, said that he was busy and practically ran in the opposite direction. Then, during science (we're lab partners by the way), he hardly said a word which, granted isn't all that unusual for Ken, but he was avoiding me and… blushing." Himself crimson with embarrassment, Daisuke's head sank into his hands. "Gah, first prize for idiocy goes to… Motomiya Daisuke!"
Tai would have laughed if it weren't for his friend's depressed state. He patted Dai's shoulder sympathetically. "Just sounds like he's shy, Dais-chan! Give him a few days and ask again. Guaranteed Kamiya dating tactics! Remember, if you don't tell him how you feel, you'll never know if those feelings are returned."
Daisuke frowned at the implications of that. "But…but what if it ruins our friendship? He's never had any real friends, and I don't wanna chase him away."
"Well, you won't be able to be much of a friend if you spend the whole time silently mooning over him, right? Trust me, the best thing you can do is get it out in the open. He's a smart kid, remember. I'm sure he's figured out that you like him already."
Daisuke nodded along with this advice. "Sounds right to me. But… Hold it! How can you give advice that you don't even use yourself?"
"Eh?"
"I'm not as stupid as I act, Taichi! And neither are you. But you're very unsubtle." Davis indicated the kitchen door. "There's some stuff that you should 'get out in the open', too, you know!"
The Kamiya boy gave him a condescending look. "That's different." He doesn't know what goes on between Matt and me.
"Is it really? He's your best friend. He has to know!" Daisuke argued, marvelling at how quickly their roles had reversed. "He's going to find out sooner or later, if not from you then from TK, or Sora, or whoever lets it slip. Wouldn't it be better if you told him?"
Taichi frowned. I know that Dais is right! But after, how long has it been? Seven years? There's just too much riding on his rejection. Our friendship, our trust... He's going to hate me, if for nothing else, then for the fact that I've kept this a secret for so long...
"Dais, it's..." he began, but could not continue due to the arrival of a third party into the room. Daisuke couldn't help noticing Taichi's cheeks flushing.
Matt looked around the room and wrinkled his nose. "What a pigsty!" Aside from the clothes, the table was bedecked with whatever Tai had had for breakfast that morning, and there were some of his music sheaves lying scattered on the floor.
"Hey! I was trying to clean up!" Tai said, offended.
Matt leaned against the doorpost, folded his arms and raised an arching eyebrow. "Pigs aren't flying yet," he stated simply. Daisuke, who had been in the background, stared at Yamato's innocent posture and chiseled face with awe. Now he could truly appreciate how beautiful the blonde was. Not cute, not handsome. Beautiful. There seemed no other fitting adjective. "Anyway, the food's ready. I invited Dai to stay over," he informed Taichi and swept from the room. It was the younger boy's turn to pat Tai on the back.
"You've got your work cut out for you," he said sympathetically.
Questions, comments, anything? Email me at sweet_dream24@yahoo.co.uk or leave a review (hint, hint) ~_^