Obvious disclaimers: 99 percent of characters are not mine ect.
My name is Sara
I can't tell you my last name. I wouldn't anyway, it's kind of embarrassing. So I guess there are small blessings in all this.
No, none of it is a blessing. That's what I'm learning.
Sorry If I sound... confused. Life has gotten very confusing, weird, INSANE as my new friend would call it. Lately.
It started for him in a construction site. It started for me in a new house.
America. No doubt you've heard of it, probably even been there. Well I moved there from England, with my mother. She needed a new start, I suppose we both did, but I won't talk about that yet.
It's a nice house. Has a garden, two bedrooms, two floors, near a school. White picket fence "American dream" but on a slightly smaller budget.
I like having my own room though. At home, mum and me had to share. She was saving all our money for the big move here most of my life, so my own room, my own place, is nice.
It will take time to get used to.
"You'll make friends." Mum said. "Lots of friends
She has no idea.
She was happy, she needed it. I'm young enough to adapt.
I needed to wear extra sunscreen to protect skin that would make Buffy The Vampire Slayer suspicious of me. Even back home, where most tans come out of a bottle, my paleness was always an issue between me and the resident idiots at school.
That, my shortness and the glint of red in my otherwise boring brown hair meant I was "Little Orphan Annie" long after the kids at school realised I wasn't, actually, an orphan. Mum just never came to the school gates and dad, father, whatever, I never met.
No one will call me that here, she told me.
This is the land of opportunity, of equality.
She's even starting to speak with an accent.
I try not to. I can't help it sometimes. Little slip ups in pronunciation are to be expected after nearly three months here.
The day that it started was the first time she noticed one of my "little slip ups".
"I'll be late home this evening," She said as she smoothed down her jacket for the third time since I'd entered the kitchen. "and have you decided whether you're going to this meeting or not?"
"Not really." I said scanning the cupboards for my favourite, English, Nesquick cereal.
She looked at me with an awkward smile.
"That's cute"
"What?"
"You said "Nawt""
I found the cereal.
"So."
"Don't use a tone, lady." She opened another cupboard and passed a bowl to me. "It's nice that you're starting to fit in. Maybe soon you'll start to bring some friends home."
I looked down at the bowl, the cupboards. "I still don't know where everything is"
"That's because you don't pay enough attention." She smoothed her hair and planted a kiss on my cheek, then taking her keys off the counter she added, "You should give this place a chance, it could be good for you."
"America?"
"The Sharing. Mr Chapman, your vice principle, thinks it could help you-"
"Fit in, I know I get it."
She went to smooth my hair; I moved to pour the cereal.
"Watch that tone. I'll see you tonight."
"Yep. Bye."
Once I finished my cereal I went back to my room and got dressed. I wear a lot of black, not because I'm a Goth or anything, I just like the colour. I wear real colours too, blues, purples and stuff, but they've got to be dark. It drives mum mental, like I'm doing it on purpose to annoy her, but I'm not. I just like it.
So is the walk to school. It's short, but I don't have to sit on a bus like most kids and try to make conversation. Gives me time to think; plan how to get through the day.
That day I'd gotten up a little earlier than usual. I wanted to plan, in my room, how I was going to get through something I'd been avoiding for nearly three months now.
I was going to make a friend.
Just one; To get out of this stupid meeting tonight. I didn't want to join some club just to make mum happy. Make her certain that I wasn't a sociopath. I liked being alone.
Well, at least it's easier being alone.
On my first day they assigned someone to show me around. Although useful, I could tell she was getting more out of being "Teacher's Pet" rather than making friends.
So I kept to myself mostly. I didn't really answer questions in class, sat alone or on the end of tables for lunch. A few kids were interested in my accent for a while but the novelty soon wore off.
Today would be different, I told myself. I'd pick someone. Someone nice and strike up conversation. I'd be funny, that's what people like. A good sense of humour. Intelligence, Topical.
But what to talk about? I didn't know anything about the area or what's going on, except this stupid Sharing.
That's how I came to be watching the news that morning, looking for something to talk about.
That's when I saw it.
The news story, on the T.V in my new house, that would change my life.
Did you hear about these animals that attacked the mall? Pretty weird huh?"
"What?"
I was in my homeroom trying to start a conversation with Abby, the blonde girl who'd sat beside me every day for three months but was now looking at me like I'd only just popped into existence.
"Um, these animals, at the mall. They just came out of nowhere and-"
"Great. I'm trying to listen to Mrs Silver."
No she wasn't. Stupid me, I'd thought she was nice.
Try again, I thought. Find someone else.
I scanned the room. I hadn't made a connection with anyone since I'd come here. By now they all probably thought I really was a sociopath.
"Who can tell me why today is important?" Mrs Silver asked.
I raised my hand. Make them notice me.
"Yes, Sarah"
I flinched.
""Sarr-ra". And, um, today is the deadline to hand in next week's field trip permission slips."
She smiled. A relief. Some adults don't like it when I correct them over my name. I don't particularly like doing it. It always makes me feel so impolite.
"That's right, thank you Sara. So, slips on my desk by the end of the day please people. Remember; No slip, no trip."
The rest of the day didn't go much better either. I tried smiling, saying hello. I guess my peers could tell how hard I was trying, and it put them off.
Except one.
"So; It was worth it."
Leaning casually on the locker next to mine just before the end of lunch was a tanned looking boy who wasn't much taller than myself. With the dark eyes and even darker, almost shoulder length hair, I should have found him attractive.
If it weren't for the way too over-confidant grin on his face.
"Sorry?"
"Don't be, like I said; it was worth it."
"Sorry, worth, what?" I sighed and shut the locker door. "What was worth it?"
"The wait. To hear you speak." He grinned some more and leaned in towards me a little closer. "I've only been waiting what, two? Three months for you to say a single word and you go and grace me with a full sentence."
I hadn't said a single word these last few months but whatever, he'd approached me.
"Right.."
"Like I said; Worth the wait."
"Thanks"
"You know, I don't usually go for the girls with accents. But after this morning, for you? I'm willing to make the exception."
The bell for next period rang behind me.
"That's...kind of you."
I'd wanted a friend, an excuse, to get out of a social club and here was some guy who seemed to be auditioning for the role of my boyfriend.
Mum would be pleased..
Really pleased.
"So," He continued as the corridor's population started to thin. "How about-"
"Tonight!" I practically shrieked. "Come to mine tonight, watch a fil-movie? Study? Or we could go to yours. Whatever. Just has to be tonight."
I swear he flinched. He definitely looked surprised. For someone so confident he sure didn't seem to expect me answer so positively. He even backed away ever so slightly before he answered "No, I mean, can't be tonight."
"Oh."
The grin returned, though it was more hesitant than it had been before.
"What's so special about tonight anyway?"
I sighed, noticed that we were the only two people left in the corridor.
"Just a stupid club my mum wants me to go to; The Sharing. I don't want to go so..I mean, not that you'd be my, like, excuse or anything, I just would rather.. you know."
"Hang with me, of course. Who wouldn't?"
The bell rang it's final warning as I looked at my shoes. "Sara. I'm Sara, I mean."
"Marco. So. The Sharing, huh?"
If I didn't know any better, which let's face it at the time I didn't; I'd have sworn that for a moment his face..darkened, when he'd said that word.
"I guess so," I said "since you're busy."
He nodded and started to walk away, backwards, so that he was still facing me.
"This Sharing? I've heard it blows." The full grin returned. "Another night though, you and me."
"Ok," I called after him as he turned to walk the length of the corridor, and as an afterthought muttered "thanks for nothing."
Looked like I had a meeting to attend
The rest of the day passed without anything else very interesting happening. When I got home I found a note on the fridge, as expected, asking more of the same thing as that morning; Meeting starts at 6, give it a chance! Leftovers in fridge; Love Mum x
I couldn't very well not go and say I did; what if she came home early? What if she asked Chapman how it'd gone? Sure, he probably didn't attend every meeting, but he knew I was expected; so what if he'd set me up with a "First time" partner or something. She was bound to talk to him about it at some point, so if I lied and later he told her the truth…
I'd go, show my face, feign illness and get out of there. I could say I'd under heated my dinner in "Anticipation" and then who knew; maybe she'd feel guilty enough to stop bothering me about it altogether.
I'd even wear all black and extra eyeliner. Any do-gooder who tried to make me attend another meeting ought to be scared off by that. I hoped.
Maybe I could even put on my old combat boots. They still kind of fitted, and maybe the slight discomfort would help when it came to faking my illness.
Dinner eaten (Properly heated) and defence armour on and ready, I locked up the house and set out to the address written on a slip of paper given to me weeks ago by Vice Principal Chapman himself.
I was ready for anything, for the worst. Bring it on.
I was stupid.