I'm in the middle of writing an extremely long modernAU involving Merlin and Morgana and co. as being musicians on tour together, but this came to me while writing the other day. It's basically what I think should've happened in 2x03. (I'm going to post a preview of the touring fic soon, but I won't be updating it until it's all written out-I'm about halfway done at the moment).
Three Little Words
She just needed to hear the words. She was terrified, frightened of what she was, the power she had. She was uncertain and it was tearing her apart. He was tired of hearing about her wake from nightmares and visions, tired of Gwen telling her she was afraid to leave her on her own. The Lady of Camelot was shaken, and everyone insisted on treating her like a child, soothing her fears instead of telling her the truth. Gaius insisted on telling her nothing, leaving her in the dark.
"Is Gaius here?" she asked, almost hysterical.
"Not at the moment. He should be back soon," Merlin said, eyes searching her face.
"I need to speak to him. Where is he?" Morgana asked a bit forcefully.
"He's gone to see the King. What's wrong? You can trust me, Morgana. You know you can," Merlin said gently.
Morgana took a deep breath, "I'm scared, Merlin. I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening. Please."
She sounded so desperate Merlin's heart ached to see his friend in such a state.
"Gaius will be back soon. He'll be able to help you," he tried.
"He won't. I don't any more remedies. They won't do any good. It's magic, Merlin," she bit her lip, waiting for his reaction.
"What?" he sounded breathless, almost. It's what he suspected but still.
"I'm your friend, you know I wouldn't make this up," she stepped closer to him, her green eyes wide and pleading.
"Of course," Merlin nodded. He raised his hand to touch her shoulder in comfort, but them dropped it to his side. She was still a lady.
"Then you believe me? You think it's magic too. Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it," she pleaded with him.
She was so close he could pull her into a hug, and murmur the truth and bear his heart and soul to her, because they really were the same.
"I…Morgana, I understand," he nodded slightly, eyes meeting hers, "I know how you feel. Scared, unsure."
"How?" Morgana looked at him beseechingly.
He gulped, "I have magic," he said quietly.
Morgana's eyes widened even further and she backed away towards the door. He had lied to her all this time. He had lied to them all.
"Morgana, wait," he said, "please don't tell anyone."
Morgana stood by the door and looked down, "You live in a kingdom where magic is seen as evil…" she bit her lip, "Uther would kill you."
She looked up to see Merlin nod.
"I don't want to hide, but I had to. You're the King's ward, I didn't-"
"You didn't trust me," Morgana gave him a sad smile, "I wouldn't trust me either."
"I wanted to," Merlin took a step towards her, "please, believe me, I did."
"You told me now," she stepped closer to him, closing the distance between them.
She looked at him as if seeing him in a new light, "All this time, you've been protecting Arthur, haven't you? The son of the man who'd kill you."
"Arthur's not Uther," Merlin said with such conviction it made Morgana smile softly.
"No, he's not," Morgana said, "Uther's wrong. Magic isn't evil. It can be a force for good," she said decidedly.
Her mind was still a jumble, still a mess. She had magic, and Merlin, too. She knew magic couldn't be all that bad if Merlin had it—he was the kindest soul she'd ever met.
Merlin smiled in relief and tears pricked at his eyes. He'd finally gotten that off his chest. Morgana's eyes watered with tears of their own. She wasn't so alone anymore.
"Who else knew?" Morgana asked him quietly.
"Remember Will?" Merlin asked.
Morgana nodded, remembering the boy from Ealdor who had died saving Arthur.
"Him, my mother, Lancelot," Merlin smiled a little at that.
"Really?" Morgana remembered how Gwen had admired the man.
"He saved my life and then figured it out," Merlin said.
"Yet Arthur's known you how long now and can't see past his own nose," Morgana tried to make light of the situation.
Merlin chuckled, then stopped, "Gaius knew. Told me not to tell anyone."
Morgana looked serious, as if she was thinking.
"I can understand that. He's been kind to me. I just wish he hadn't lied," Morgana said finally.
Merlin nodded, "Mordred knew."
Morgana shouldn't have been surprised. They had a connection, the three of them. Morgana knew it was magic now.
"Merlin?" Morgana said after a few moments of staring at their feet.
"Yeah?" he looked up at her.
"Thank you," she said quietly, "you have no idea how much I needed this."
"That's what friends are for," Merlin shrugged it off as if it was nothing. It wasn't nothing, though.
Morgana raised her arms, wrapping them around him in a hug. Merlin was startled, and awkwardly hugged her back. She was still a lady, magic or no. Was this even appropriate?
She seemed not to have a care for propriety, and she clutched at Merlin so tightly he wondered if she thought he'd disappear. He felt his shirt grow damp. She was crying, and it was one of the most painful things he'd ever seen. Morgana was always bright and laughing and full of life. She hid the fear and the uncertainly well, but now it was all too much.
Merlin pulled her closer to him and patted her back in comfort. She'd just found out she had magic, a sin, according to her guardian. No wonder she was crying. She had to hide who she was from everyone around her, now. Everyone but him, that was.
Neither of them were sure how long they stayed like that, wrapped up in an embrace. Morgana finally pulled away a little and Merlin unthinkingly wiped away the tears on her cheek away with his thumb. Morgana gave a soft laugh.
"I'm sorry for using your shirt as a handkerchief," she said in a stuffy voice.
Merlin looked around for a handkerchief, but Morgana's arms were still around him, holding him loosely. As if suddenly becoming aware of her surroundings and her status compared to him, she dropped her arms to her side.
She didn't step away, though, and that was something.
"Do you need a sleeping potion?" Merlin asked, scratching the back of his neck.
"I don't think I can sleep right now," Morgana said quietly.
She still looked so sad and so tired. Merlin got an idea and picked up the candlestick from Gaius's workbench. Morgana looked at him curiously.
"Forbærne," Merlin said quietly, making the candle flicker brighter and glow.
He moved his hands and the flame flew off the candle, floating in the air. Morgana watched in awe, a smile crossing her lips.
"This is amazing," she murmured.
"It's not that hard. I could teach you," Merlin offered.
Morgana's smile brightened, "I'd like that, thanks."
Merlin smiled back. They had magic. There was no more hiding, not from each other. Maybe one day they could tell Arthur the truth. Maybe she'd grow into her powers and could find peace within herself and her gifts. Maybe one day, they could utter three more words to each other in the dark of night whilst they practiced their magic: I love you. Maybe one day.
Let me know what you think.