## OK, this time is a songfic. The song is actually the first ending song of Chrome Shelled Legios, called, Yasashii Uso. Somehow I feel this song match the feeling of Shunsui and Nanao in this story. As usual, the song Yasashii Uso and BLEACH is NOT MINE! ##
NOT A LIE
kioku no hate ni sagashiteita risou no miraizu
nanika ga kowakute wakaranakute hitori de furuete
I searched for the ideal map of the future within the boundaries of my memory
Something is frightening, but I don't know what and I tremble alone
Lisa has left, left them and they're lost.
After decades she finally accept the fact that she might never ever see her again. Feeling lost for decades made her feeling numb. She doesn't feel anything anymore and focused her entire life to her career on the Eighth Division. After discovering that she had quite a talent in Kidou practice, she practiced hard every day until her ability made her the new Lieutenant of the Eighth Division.
It doesn't take that long for him to accept the fact. After hundreds of years of existing with Lisa, knowing her nature, he always knew that this would happen someday. It's just a matter of time. He felt empty after she left and had refused numeral times Captain Commander Yamamoto appointed a new Lieutenant for his Division. He doesn't feel the need for a new Lieutenant. His reason was, all of the paperwork and report have always been submitted on time by his other seated officers. Until that time she was appointed as hisLieutenant.
anata ga miezu ni itsumo aisowaratte
kimi no ude no naka dakareteita
Being unable to see you, I faked a smile
You embraced me in your arms
Having excepted the fact that Lisa would never come back to her doesn't made her forget about her. On the first day of every month she unknowingly have that face. The face that he knows really well. The face of sadness, confusion and disappointment that she had, after he told her decades ago that Lisa won't be able to read for her that night because she was "out" on a mission.
That day, he asked her if she's alright. Nanao smiled, nod and back facing the papers on her desk. She rarely smile, he loved seeing her smile but not that kind of smile. So, before he left the office that afternoon, he gave her a quick hug, pat her in the head and wish her a pleasant night.
sameteiku you ni koi o shite
yume no naka made tsureteite
I fell in love as if awakening
You took me into your dream
He doesn't remember when it started. This attraction to her, at first it was only for fun when people talk about how he finally give in to Yama-Jii's order to exept a new Lieutenant and tell them that because finally this time Yama-Jii gave him a beautiful female Lieutenant. Soon, the daily love declaration in public and calling her with pet names started.
She didn't know why she did it. Crying in public like that. But she did when she was told that he was in a life threatening condition after an attacked by, from the evidence in the scene, Hyourinmaru. She stayed outside the OR, crying, praying, wishing that he would be alright.
And one day, they started to appear on each other's dreams and they don't know how to stop it.
itsudatte kimi wa itsudatte kimi wa
itsudatte boku ni yasashii uso tsuita
You always, you always
you always told me kind lies
She asked him if he's not tired of declaring his love for her constantly and get rejected every time. She told him that just because he said it every day, doesn't make it any truer. She would just ignore him, knowing his character and reputation. Never took it personal and just usually tell people to ignore him because he is insane or his brain is already permanently damaged by the amount of alcohol he's had all his life.
Finally she's had enough. She's really annoyed. She screams at him, telling him to shut up with all the nonsense and that sweet kind lies.
nanimo iwazu ni tomadowaseteita wake sono wake wa
boku ga katte ni kowagatteita futari no chikai sa
Without saying anything, the reason why I was confused by you
That reason was our vow that I had started to fear
He's quite shocked to see her reaction. Unaccustomed with such a reaction from a female, she would be the only female that ever said that to him. That ever rejected him.
dakishimerarezu ni itsumo aisowaratte
kienai yoru o mezashiteita
Being unable to be embraced by you, I faked a smile
I wanted a night that would never disappear
He wanted her to realize that even though he admires her strength, she's always allowed to be vulnerable. He wanted her to know that she can lean on him, hold on to him, come to him for protection if she ever needed one. Anytime. But he keeps it to himself. He can only smile watching her from a distance .Knowing her strength will protect her when she's out on a mission and it will bring her back to him.
sameteiku yo ni koi o shite
yume no naka made tsureteitte
I fell in love as if awakening
You took me into your dream
She realized that she does have feelings for him. She loves having him in her life. She loves being around him. She cares for him a lot. But her brain and logic thinking keeps telling her that she cannot respond to his romantic advances. She should keep their relationship formal, as Captain and Lieutenant.
She always followed her brain and logic thinking all her life.
itsudatte kimi wa itsudatte kimi wa
itsudatte boku o yasashiku kizutsuketa
You always, you always
you always kindly hurt me
He felt so desperate sometimes, not knowing what else to do to made her believe that his feelings for her were true. She never knew how much her constant rejection hurt him.
mienai kimochi itsumo aisowaratte
kienai yoru o mezashiteita...
With feelings that could not be seen, I faked a smile
I wanted a night that would never disappear
On Matsumoto Rangiku's birthday party, she can only smile when Rangiku asked her about their relationship. She insists that theirs were a professional ones, that she only cared and respected him as her Captain. Nothing more, nothing less.
They walked together back from the party that night and having a nice conversation without him saying anything about his love for her. She enjoyed that conversation and really surprised that he can be such a pleasant company. The talk was so pleasant that they secretly regret that they already arrived on the Eighth ground and have to part ways to go to their own quarters.
sameteiku yo ni koi o shite
yume no naka made tsureteitte
I fell in love as if awakening
You took me into your dream
That night, after they retired to their own quarters, their conversation from earlier walk continues in their dreams.
itsudatte kimi wa itsudatte kimi wa
itsudatte boku ni yasashii uso tsuita
toki ga tatsu hodo tooku naru futari no kyori wa uta ni natte
matteiru nda zutto matteiru nda
You always, you always
you always told me kind lies
As time passes, the growing distance between us turns into song
I'll be waiting, I'll always be waiting
Her brain and logic keeps telling her that his words are nothing but sweet and kind lies that he shares with other women and she would be a fool to be one of those women. Her brain and logic made her creates a growing safe distance from him.
He decided that he's not giving up. He will wait for her.
ano toki futari miteta nagareboshi
For the shooting star that we saw together back then
It was on her birthday. He held a surprise birthday party for her on the mess hall of the Eighth. During the event, knowing how introverted she is, he had anticipated her sneaking out quietly through the hall's service door.
He followed her until they reached the big Sakura tree on the Division's ground. As expected, she said that she went out to get some fresh air. She told him to just go back inside when it appeared. A bright shooting star. She commented the appearance with a small gasped and a big smile to the night sky, so was he. Little did they know, they secretly made a wish in their heart.
Shunsui : Nanao-chan, I wish you will know someday that my words weren't just a kind lies as you once accused me of. I'll wait forever until you realized that and I will be there when you did.
Nanao : I know your words weren't a lie Captain, but I'm not capable of having the same feeling for you. At least, not at the moment. I could only wish that you're willing to wait, please, please, please wait for me until I can love you back.
THE END