A/N: Well, I was going to do one of the Sounds-filthy-and-smutty-but-really-is-something-innocent. It...didn't quite turn out exactly like that. In other news, I'm flying out to go to my cousin's wedding early tomorrow morning, so today I am posting the rest of my oneshots! Enjoy. I may or may not hold one back to post on Monday. In domestic news, Scipio got out and was crawling around on the plastic bag with the sand in it while I was trying to fix the water thing. I had the top of the cage open and he crawled onto my arm andI thought "how sweet!" Next thing I know, there's a small thud and I look down and he's lazing about quite happily on the floor. My clever boy.

MOO: #27

Pairing: You'll see.

Dedication: To Gill. I'm coming to see you soon! I can't wait! (squeal) I have your prezzies, you will LOBE them. Ravie too.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all.

Warning: Language, extreme suggestiveness, disturbing imagery--no, wait, wrong fic. Scratch that last one.

Hermione was sitting quietly in the common room when she heard some loud thumping from the boys' dormitories and shouts.

"Harder! Push harder!" called a voice that sounded like Seamus.

"I'm trying!" moaned Ron.

Hermione, rather than taking the innocent school girl I-heard-nothing I-will-hide-behind-my-book-until-they-stop route, was by this time halfway up the stairs, romance novel lying discarded on the carpet.

She pressed her ear to the door.

"Guys, do you have to do that now? I'm trying to do homework!" complained Dean.

"If--(pant)--you'd care to--(groan)--help, we'd be done faster," Ron shot back.

"Fine." Hermione heard a sigh and footsteps crossing the room.

"Thanks Dean, you're--(gasp) a real mate," choked out Seamus.

There was a sound like a bed was moving a little across the floor.

"Just a little further," urged Ron, breathless.

There was utter silence.

Suddenly, a scream tore through the air.

"Oh, god. Oh my god!" moaned Dean urgently. There was the sound of something heavy dropping onto something else.

"You're--(pant)--squishing me here!" Seamus called in a rush. "Get off getoffgetoff I can't breathe--"

Hermione was aware of footsteps on the stairs. She whirled around to see Neville walking across the landing.

"What are you doing, Hermione?" he asked, tilting his head.

Hermione flushed redder than a Weasley.

"Er…Neville," she started gently. "Do you know what 'gay' means?"

Neville rolled his eyes. "Oh, good god. They're not doing that AGAIN. They were doing this last week and they had Lavender and Parvati up here listening. Honestly. You girls are so perverted and voyeuristic."

He made to open the door.

"Neville, no! What if they're--?"

"Hermione, they're moving some damn furniture around. See for yourself." He swung the door open.

Both teens blanched and slammed the door, racing downstairs.

"I thought you said they were just moving furniture!"

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Well, you're their MATE. You could have spotted something like this would happen."

"How? This is totally unexpected!"

"Really? There must have been SOME clues, Neville!"

"How can you say that? This was completely out of the blue!"

"Things like this don't just HAPPEN without SOME warning signs."

"Oh, like you'd know? Anyway, Ron is your friend too. YOU could have picked something up."

"Yeah, but I don't LIVE in a dormitory with them!"

"I don't know if I want to sleep there tonight," Neville siad, eyes widening. "What if--"

"Shh, shh. They probably know that you know now. They'll talk to you about it, and they'll talk to me about it because I'm Ron's friend. But we do have to be supportive. It's their choice."

"Yes. You're right," Neville conceded. "I'm still sleeping in the Common Room for a few nights. I mean, I'll probably get used to it in time, but…"

"Yeah, I know," Hermione agreed. "You're just going to be constantly wondering if something'll happen when you're asleep. I understand and I think they'll be a little disappointed but as long as you continue to be supportive, they'll--"

"Supportive of what?" asked Harry, who had just come in through the portrait hole.

"Erm…" began Hermione.

Neville related everything that had just happened.

"Hermione, you little pervy vouyer!" Harry exclaimed at the end.

She blushed. "That's not the issue now--" she began, but Harry was already deep in discussion with Neville.

"How could they have hidden it this long from us?" he was saying. "I mean, I was actually convinced that they were just moving furniture!"

"Me too," agreed Neville. "You know, mistrust of us aside, they were actually pretty clever about this."

"I am taking showers in the Quidditch changing room from now on, I can tell you that," said Harry fervently.

"Oh, Harry. That's a tiny bit drastic, don't you think? After all, this has to have been going on for some time and nothing's happened to us yet--"

"Neville, that's not the point! That's like saying because Voldemort hasn't done anything this year and I don't know what he's been up to that nothing else will happen and he'll send me a lovely birthday card that says 'No hard feelings, here's a lovely prezzie!' and he'll stop trying to kill me."

"Now, Harry, we have to be understanding about this--" began Hermione, but the boys interrupted her again.

"Look, Harry, that's drastic. I mean, I'm sleeping in the Common Room for the next few nights, just until I can come to terms with it. But there's no reason to shower other places. I mean, you're AWAKE in the shower. If anything happens you can fight back--"

"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Harry shouted.

"What's not the point, Harry?" Ron queried. He was coming out of the dorms, rather sweaty, followed by Dean and Seamus in the same state. Ron's t-shirt was on backwards and Seamus' hair was a total mess.

Neville and Harry rounded on them. "WE CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL US!"

Ron, Dena and Seamus exchanged looks.

"We…we were just moving some furniture," Ron protested.

"Yeah, right! Hermione and I SAW you guys a few minutes ago!" Neville railed. "Why did you heave to LIE to us!"

"Well, we just figured you might take it the wrong way, or that you might not be accepting--"

"We'd have been more accepting if you'd just told us in the first place, lads!" fumed Harry.

"Well, it was kind of sudden--" Dean tried.

"How long?" demanded Neville. "How long have you been hiding that abomination from us?"

"Abomination? Neville, it's perfectly natural--"

"Not what I saw."

"Neville, mate, come on--" Seamus wheedled.

"Do you have any idea how freaked Harry and I are right now?"

"We're sorry, we can't help it, it just looked so lost and alone…"

"You could have ASKED before you took in a stray fucking CHIMERA and kept it under the FLOORBOARDS near MY DAMN BED!"