Disclaimer: I don't own anything
(A/N: I'm not trying to make fun of these characters. I just had waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to much sugar and have been watching "Saturday Night Live" toooooo much! This is a SNL/Harry Potter/ Jeopardy crossover. So read, enjoy, review!)
Celebrity Jeopardy
Lee Jordan: (walks onto stage) I'm afraid Alex Trebek couldn't make it today, so I will be filling in for him.
Alex Trebek: (storms onto the stage) Sure! Tie me to the bottom of a car! I can't believe your trying to STEAL my show. (pushes Jordan off stage) Today our players are: Hermoine Granger-
Hermoine: I'm not a player! I've never even been on a date.
Alex: (ignoring Hermione) Harry Potter, and the Weasley Twins-Wait! We can't have TWO people playing together (has canary cream waved in face by the twins) Well, I guess the rules can be stretched a little...
Jordan: (front backstage) Yeah, it IS your show!
Alex: Jordan, SHUT UP! Our categories are: George Bush, Potions, Muggles, Dances, and Stupid Things Said.
(Players go behind their booths)
Alex: Harry, your turn.
Harry: (turns around) Now what?
Alex: Pick a category.
Harry: (starts picking at category board) This is quite silly...
Alex: Never mind. Our first topic will be: Stupid Things Said.
Harry: I don't like this category.
Fred: (grinning evily) Yeah, lets do Dances.
Alex: Ok. Dances it is.
Harry: (does a short dance) Alright, time for the next category.
Alex: But I haven't asked the question!
Harry: Question? You said dances, so I danced! (does a high-five with Fred and George.)
Hermoine: This is so stupid! Jeopardy is for SMART people. I'm leaving. (storms off stage and is replaced by Chris Kattan playing Mango, the drag queen.)
Mango: (in a sexy voice) Hello Alex.
Alex: (looking quite confused) Uh......hello.
Mango: (smakes ass) You know you want me!
Alex: (blinks several times) Fred and George, you two have control of the board.
Fred&George: (grinning) People to Mug for 100 gaellons.
Alex: gaellons???
George: Duh! What did you think we said?
Alex: I don't want to know. The category was Muggles.
Mango: (mooning Alex) Are we going to start this or what?
Alex: (face starts to get red with anger) YES!
Mango: My place or yours?
Alex: New category! George W. Bush for 1000 dollars. "Find and correct all mistakes in this paragraph written my George W."
Helo,
Me wunt to anmpres the Untd Stats by righting this paragraf and shoing them how smart is me. Dang! Me write a sentenc! Dick Channey has pasd ot. He didn't think me cold do it! Me think the hole world wil be anmpresd with this!
Sind,
Goegrio W. Bus
George: Sorry, I lost count around 2,598.
Fred: my calaculator blew up because there were so many!
Alex: Well, since they didn't finsih the problem, they will only get 100 dollars.
Mango: (dancing to a Jennifer Lopez song) My love don't cost a thing!!
Fred&George: SHUT UP!
Mango: (flips the twins off and stops dancing)
Alex: Quit goofing off during the game!
Harry: No.
Alex: OK! I'm sick of this. Lets start Final Jeopardy. The question is: Guess my Age!
(Lights fade and a Jennifer Lopez song starts to play)
Alex: Mango! Quit messing with the sound system!
(Music changes to the Jeopardy Theme Song)
Alex: Ok, pens down, lets see what everyone wrote. We will start with Harry. His answer was "45" and his wager was "0." Mango put down "Who gives a shit how old he is!" and his wager is "0." Now we go to the Weasley Twins, who are in the lead. They have "50,-" and their wager "-198,919,542 years old. I should have known. (storms off stage as show ends.)
"Bad Flaming" Rules:
Must have the word "Shit." (I'm obsessed with it)
Must have at least three sentences
Must have something about a crazy grandmother. (hehehe)
Must have something about a dumb dog.
"Good Flaming" Rules:
Just tell me WHY you didn't like it!