A Note 2 All: Ok, this is my second fanfic, so I hope it does okay. Just so u know, none of the Buffy characters belong 2 me, so do not sue!!! I did make up Faith's last name, since she never had one on the show. I hope that this isn't 2 morbid or anything, so yea. Just so u know, I'm not depressed or suicidal or anything… I just enjoy writing slash fanfic. Thanx!!! Oh, and I know I mentioned that there were several stories with the cast of Buffy, but right now, I've only written one. If you like this story, send in reviews on it, and I'll continue adding stories to this one. Please R/R!!!
Blurs. That was all Faith saw. She dropped the weapon, and she heard the echoes of metal clattering on the tile floor. She gazed at her wrists, now gushing crimson fluids.
I try to kill the pain
But it only brought more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
Faith swallowed, stumbling out of her apartment bathroom. She swayed, her knees eventually collapsing under her. Faith lay, motionless, blood soaking into the matted carpet. She felt her heart pounding in her chest, and couldn't help but think, what was I thinking?
Faith unsteadily forced herself to stand, wobbling. She somewhat limped back into the bathroom, searching the counter space for a rag. Not realizing the blood was pooling at her feet, the Slayer stepped back, and slipped. Without thinking, she snatched for something to grab, scraping her sliced wrists against the wall.
Faith fell to the floor once more, screaming in agony. Being the Slayer, she had more strength than most humans, but at this point, she was near unable to rise. Somehow she managed, though. Her hazy pitch night eyes finally spotted a rag.
Faith held it between her two arms, smiling weakly. Hopefully at this point she could live a little longer. But soon the blood was seeping through the piece of cloth. Silent tears fell from Faith's cheeks as she sat back down on the linoleum floor, blood soaking her pants. She didn't care.
My god, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My god, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side?
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?
-------FLASHBACK--------
Faith's high school in Boston… before she dropped out… duh!
"Shut the fuck up, bitch!" the girl cried at Faith.
Faith snorted, turned to face the bigmouth and took one punch at her face. Instantly, the girl's nose began bleeding, as well as her spitting up a few Arctic color teeth.
Tears welled up in her eyes, as a built and tan guy walked over, barricading the blonde from Faith. Faith grinned, tossing back a dark lock. "Maybe that'll teach you to keep your mouth shut, blondie!" Faith snapped.
The guy turned to the Slayer of three days and said, "Listen, Addams, I don't know who you think you are, going around hitting people like that, but you're a fucking freak." At that, he and his slut left.
Other people stuck around whispering and pointing, but soon they left, too. Faith rubbed her fist; still surprised it didn't hurt at all. Ever since she had become, what was it called… oh yeah, the Slayer, Faith was free to hit whom she wanted, when she wanted without feeling the pain. Well, at least physical pain, which didn't include mental.
Faith sighed, and staked out of the damned high school, heading to who knew where.
-------END OF FLASHBACK-------
Faith continued to sit, not wanting to call Buffy for help. What would Buffy do? Come and rush her to the hospital, bitching at her in the process? That would be just how Summers would do it.
Faith didn't need her, nor wanted her. Faith wasn't stupid. She had cut herself fatally for a purpose. She was angry. Angry with herself, angry with her life, angry with the gang, and couldn't think of anything better to do than die.
My god, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My god, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ?
Tourniquet
My suicide
------FLASHBACK-------
Faith stormed into her room, slamming the door behind her. There was a loud clunk at the door, and Faith placed her pals to cover her ears. Unfortunately, she still heard it. "Faith, get your skanky ass back out here now! I need to have a fucking word with you!" shouted her mother.
"Go away! I hate you, and I wish you would die!"
Soon, the door crashed open, as a woman with graying hair stood there, holding a vodka bottle. She dropped it, as it spilled out into the carpet. "What did you just say?" she asked dangerously.
Faith didn't say anything. When her mother took her first strike, she wasn't going to cower like her usual self. Now, Faith was the Slayer, and she could fight back.
Sure enough, her mother approached, and took a swing at her tripled daughter's face. Faith saw it long before it came, and snatched her retched mother's fist, inches before it met her face. With Faith's free hand, she connected it with the older woman's, hearing things cracking.
The elder groaned and screeched at the same time, if it were possible, and Faith didn't waste more time. She grabbed her backpack, and hightailed it out of the house, not intending to ever return.
------END OF FLASHBACK------
Faith was sprawled on the tile floor, gazing up at the crumbly ceiling. All became very blurry, so blurry that all Faith could see were shapes, and barely that.
She felt her heart shouting in pain to just kill herself now, but Faith was far too weak to get up. So she lay, motionless. But before long, new shapes arrived in Faiths vision. They were whispering, and shouting her name.
"Faith! Faith, can you hear me? Faith!"
Sure, she heard them, but she couldn't answer. She screamed inside herself, "Yes, yes! I'm here! You must save me!" but was incapable of speaking a word. Knowing, it was useless, Faith closed her eyes, seeing nothing but darkness. But the more she thought about it, that was all she had ever seen.
Buffy sat in the waiting room of Sunnydale Hospital, fidgeting her fingers. Why had Faith done that? Why didn't she just come to her, or to Willow, Anya, or one of the potentials, someone! She took a huge breath, and glanced at Xander.
He too was looking pale, as well as Anya and Willow. Giles sat across from Willow, his face in his hands. Dawn was there also, her arms wrapped around Buffy. She was sobbing, and Buffy couldn't blame her. She was surprised she hadn't started crying herself.
Five minutes later, the doctor stepped into their views. By the look on his face, Buffy knew she'd never see her slaying partner again. The doctor was twisting his hands in frustration as he shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said. "There was nothing we could do; she had lost too much blood." Buffy nodded, crying inside.
On the ride back home, Xander said, "Ya' know, she was pretty depressed all the time. I mean, c'mon. She's had a shitty childhood, she's killed people, she's been stabbed- sorry, Buffy- she's been thrown off building tops- sorry again, Buff- she's been to prison, I mean, I could list all night. Maybe she's better off… dead."
Buffy nodded, as she had done many times that evening. She stared at the night sky and its stars, saying, "You're probably right, Xander." Faintly, Buffy smiled.
A/N Well, there's that story! I hope it was good, and not too slash for you. Please send in reviews!!!
Song: "Tourniquet" By: Evanescence AWESOME SONG!!!