Hello Everyone-This is another stand alone piece to my finished fanfic-The Darkest Hours Before The Dawn and mainly focuses on the brotherly relationship between Pete and Ross. While I do think that Pete and Ross do love each other (deep down) there relationship is really complex and diverse.

What I intended to write was how finding Ross, Finn and seeing Adam collapse had taken it's toll on Pete and how Ross was coping, like I said this is a stand alone piece and I hope it you all enjoy it.

I do plan on coming back to the Emmerdale fandom but I have something in the work (again for the Barton's) that needs more time to develop.

It's not essential to read The Darkest Hour Before The Dawn before reading this however but believe me it does help as it's a continuum from that fic.

Triggers-Mentions of attempted suicide

Disclaimer-I don't own anything otherwise things would be different and characters gone (Megan, Moira, Laurel...to name a few )

As Always Please Read and Review and let me know what you think

In The Aftermath of the Darkness

When Ross goes missing on the anniversary of Donna's death, Pete sets out to track his elusive brother and James and Finn try not to worry

The day of Donna's death dragged round as did most days that were marked with a gut-wrenching finality. Marlon had called in sick determined to spend the whole day with April and Victoria had taken over control of the kitchen which meant if the pub wasn't a wreak by lunchtime it would be a miracle and Chas with a meticulous efficiently had promised to control the punters for a few hours while James tried (and failed) not to worry about where his middle son was or what frame of mind he was in.

It wasn't that he was worried about Ross-Oh no he had surpassed worry nearly three months ago when he had watched his son break down-now he was happily terrified of what would happen today-the one day where he was convinced that any triggers Ross had would kick him up the ass.

Ok so maybe that was an understatement James knew Ross had been getting better, with Adam doing time for arson and Aaron finally settled down with Paddy there was little disruption in the sleepy village (for now) Ross had come out into society a little bit more and while he did spend most of his time at work, he checked in at the farm sometimes to hang out with his brothers. Steadily the three of them had been getting along again even their father-son relationship had improved which was saying something.

But that was more than likely to be shot to hell now. James could see the signs (battle hardened) as he was more prepared for them now and he gritted his teeth every time he could see Ross go white whenever Donna's name was mentioned and how he seemed to close his eyes and get lost in memories his hands playing with the small scars branding his arm-itching at them like they kept him alive.

But still he didn't know what the hell to do. Chas had tried to advise him but the situation between Ross and Aaron was polls apart and James knew Ross to well to know what would happen if he forced his company on him, but still today could either go two ways for them and James would be damned if he was going to end up in a hospital waiting room again.

He still had nightmares about the last time.

So he had to resort to Plan B-Pete, Finn had to work (and he could no more stop Ross than begin to fly) Pete at least knew enough about Ross to know how the hell to deal with him. It had only taken a few threats to get him to do it and James would rain hell on Moira for any comment that she made about his absence.

However he should have known it would be too good to be true.

Because at about ten-thirty exactly he got the phone call he had been dreading "He's not here" Pete said his voice coming out sharp over the phone.

Well. That hadn't been exactly what he had been expecting-the phone call he'd had in mind had been for him to get his ass down to the hospital ASAP. "What do you mean, he's not there?" he asked his brain trying to catch up with him.

He could feel Pete's eye roll. "I mean I got to the house to check on him and he's not there. He's left his phone and neither Debbie nor Andy have seen him this morning" there was a pause "Dad I got a bad feeling about this"

James swallowed stolidly refusing to dwell on nightmare's "I can't leave Pete" he croaked out "Not till Moira gets back from visiting Adam" Pete sighed over the phone "I know that" he said gently "And Finn's working so I'm gonna borrow Cain's car and go looking for him"

James nodded without realising that Pete couldn't see him. "Let me know when you find him" he replied and the unspoken 'no matter what state he's in' seemed to be ringing through the conversation.

"Will do Dad" Pete said before hanging up and James slowly took a deep breath in before concentrating on stopping his hands shaking.

As the day progressed Pete made up his mind that if he didn't find Ross soon he would kill him. He had to admit when his little brother wanted to he could become a ghost. No wonder they hadn't found him the last time.

He had taken to ringing the hospital but no Ross Barton had been brought in neither had a John Doe with dark hair so that at least was something. It was Debbie who had mentioned the cliffs saying that that was were Cain had found Zak and if he had tried everywhere else he had better try up there.

So here he was. Tracking through miles of rocks and cold winds trying to track his elusive little brother, yeah Pete was so gonna kill him.

He came across a practically high cliff when he saw it. The only thing left that could turn his blood to ice, there was a dark figure with dark hair and dark clothes on sat on the edge of the cliff dangerously close to the edge. "Ross!" he all but yelled forcing his tired and exhausted limbs to the top cliff in some sheer force of desperation, because if Ross did something stupid there was no guarantee that Pete would make it in time…

Ross's head seemed to snap around and he forced himself to his feet "What the hell do you want?" he asked his voice a little rough and his eyes slightly red. "Don't you dare jump you flaming idiot" Pete yelled back scrambling to even footing ignoring Ross's raised eyebrow "I wasn't going to-but if you're not careful, your ass may go over"

When at last the two brothers were stood facing each other it was to total silence "What the hell are you doing up here?" Pete asked "Do you have any idea what me and Dad have gone through, he think's your gonna top yourself again." Ross stared at him "Jesus Pete I wanted to be alone didn't you understand that?"

And suddenly it was like the damn broke and everything Pete had kept buried for the last three months came shedding out of him "The last time I left you alone you tried to kill yourself, I found you. Me Ross Me. I was the one that picked you up of the floor, I was the one that was searching for a pulse and I was the one that carried you inside. Do you have any idea what that was like for me? Do you?" he yelled "Do you know what it was like to watch Dad slowly break when I told him you had tried to kill yourself? Do you? Do You? Do…." he trailed of great big hacking sobs forcing his way out of him.

It was borderline relief borderline humiliating breaking down-completely exposed to his little brother, but God did it feel good.

Ross stared at him his expression wide eyed and unblinking. He reached out to grab Pete's arm forcing him upwards watching as he wiped his face roughly.

"I won't apologise for being in a hole" Ross muttered "I won't apologise for wanting the hell that was my head to stop." He moved his hands to his temple as he got lost in the memories and Pete realised what a black hole his brother had been in for the last few months.

"Is it getting better?" he asked almost afraid of the answer and Ross shrugged "it's bearable" he said "liveable anyway"

"Don't do it again" Pete said grasping Ross arm "Please don't let me find you like that again, I did it with Finn, I did it with you and I saw it with Adam I can't…" and he pulled off unable to carry on his head pounding and then the question that had been bugging him for nearly three years came spilling out of him "How were you and Finn best friends growing up and me and you were just brothers?"

Ross stared in shock before finally saying carefully "I reckon it's cause you and me-we were the same, Finn, he's different…he doesn't care about showing off or being loud, or being a good person, you and me… we both cared but went around things in different ways. I think that we both got our wires crossed. We both have tempers and one of us had to be good and the other bad"

"You're not bad" Pete muttered staring in the distance "A pain up the arse maybe but not bad"

The two brothers stared into the distance both locked in their thoughts before Ross said so softly Pete nearly missed it "I wasn't planning on jumping Pete" he crossed his arms defensively "I wasn't planning on doing anything-I thought about it" Pete sucked in a gasp of air and Ross continued "And then I couldn't, I just didn't want to do that again-not to you and not to me, you know?"

Dumbly Pete nodded before realising that the temperature had frozen over and that there were both shivering with a combination of the cold and the adrenaline that was pumping through their bloodstream. That was the reason he did what he did next he reached out and hugged his brother uncaring of the little huff of surprise that came out of him. "Come on" Pete said pulling back and holding out his arm to help Ross down the cliffs "Let's go home"

"Which home?" Ross asked and Pete grinned "Farm first I reckon, Dad will need proof that your alive."

It wasn't really a breakthrough, the past hadn't been rectified but that day on the cliffs two brothers came to the bone deep realisation that they needed each other more than they were prepared to let on.

In the aftermath of the darkness it seemed like a little bit of light shined through. Maybe it was hope, and maybe just maybe in the light of the new day everything would be better and brighter than before.

And Please let me know what you think x