A/N: The last (I think) of the fics I will post that I wrote in Malaysia. So drink Draino and be merry! (For what cause I do not know, but I'm sure there is one.)
Please,
call me Pete.
HP: So Voldemort, we meet again!
LV: (cringes) Please! Don't call me that.
You-know-who will do for now.
HP: Ok, Vol-You-know-who. Now, as I was
saying before, we meet again!
YKW: Yeah? You know, I don't really like my
evil dark lord image anymore.
HP: Oh?
YKW: Killing things have never been my
forte. Even when I live in the orphanage, I couldn't hurt a spider or a fly.
Not intentionally, anyway.
HP: Right. Are you feeling okay,
Vol-You-know-who? (Feels YKW's forehead) Nope, you don't have a fever…
YKW: Get your hands off me, you stupid git!
HP: Whoa, okay You-know-who.
YKW: All my life I've been surround be
Potters! Your father, his father before that-and they were all righteous
Gryffindors, too! I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be popular, to have a
cute girl by my side, to have the money and status to get a home in Godric's
Hollow…(breaks off and cries on Harry's shoulder)
HP: Shh. It's okay, You-know-who.
Everything's a-ok. Do you want me to go and get my friends so they know that
you're reformed?
YKW: Yes, please.
HP: Okay. I'll be back in 10.
*10
minutes later*
HP: You see, Ron, Hermione, he hasn't
killed me yet. I'm still standing.
RW: Yeah, well, You-know-who is just a
sobbing heap on the floor. He can't really do much, can he?
HG: Mmm. I'd have to agree with that.
HP: Look, You-know-who isn't going to kill
us, okay? He was crying on my shoulder 10 minutes ago and he didn't kill me
then. He could've stuck a dagger in my back. (Turns around to show there isn't
one)
HG: Harry…
HP: What?
HG: You do have a dagger in your back.
HP: What, already?
HG: Yeah. It looks fake, though.
RW: (trying to pull it out) It seems quite
firmly stuck in, though.
HP: That's because I glued it on with super
glue.
HG: Ah, yes. Superglue.
YKW: (Gets up) Oh hello again, Harry, and
er, Ron? And Mary.
HG: Her-my-own-nee!
YKW: Ah, Hermione. Apologies. Hello. Harry,
I've decided that I want to be called Pete.
RW: Harry, are you sure you've go the right
villain?
HP: the right clothing, the right voice,
the right face, the right stench…
Pete: Do I smell?
RW: To be frank, yes.
HP: You're not Frank, you're Ron!
HG: It's just a figure of speech.
RW: But Pete's brain isn't quite right.
HG: Superglue can be used in many different
ways, Ron.
RW: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
HG: I think I am.
RW: Let's do it, then!
(Hermione and Ron run off to rig Snape's
cauldron and potions)
HP: I guess that just leaves the two of us.
Pete: I suppose so. Do you think they were
afraid of me?
HP: No, just disbelieving.
Pete: Well, do you believe?
HP: I want to believe but-(gets interrupted
by a stream of blue lighting coming from behind the pillar)-Hey, someone killed
Pete!
AD: I congratulate you on keeping Voldemort
in one place for son long.
HP: Did you have to kill him?
AD: Yes, it was quite necessary, Harry.
HP: but he was just reforming himself!
AD: He's till evil inside Harry.
HP: Okay then.
AD: Come, we must have a feast in honour of
Voldemort's death.
HP: Whatever.
A/N: Okay, if anyone can tell me what the
hell I meant by rigging Snape's cauldron and potions, I shall be very happy.
Apart from that, though, I don't think that there's really very much else to
say. Well, I did stay up until 3:30 last night at my friend's karaoke party, so
don't mind the spelling mistakes (I've made heaps before and nobody picks 'em
up-what's going on?) or the grammar or anything like that. Okay? I'm
practically asleep now. Zzzzz…::wakes up with a start:: Review, please! ::falls
asleep again::