Disclaimer: Vampire Knight belongs to Matsuri Hino. Pickup lines were found on random websites.

Spoiler warning... ish?

Love At First Sight

Knock. Knock.

Zero blinked at the door, confused. Now, who would be going to the chairman's kitchen this early in the morning besides him to make breakfast?

He paused his stirring for a moment to quietly say a, "Come in...?" It sounded like a question, and seemed to be directed more to himself than the person behind the door.

There was an awkward silence, and then the doorknob slowly turned to reveal none other than...

"Kuran Kaname?" Zero was even more confused now. But before he could question Kaname's unwanted presence, the pureblood had something else to say.

"Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by you again?"

Zero opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. "S-say that again?"

An amused grin spread across Kaname's face. He was enjoying this just too much. "Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by you again?" He repeated.

"Kuran, I've known you for four years..." The poor hunter soon found out that it was a stupid thing to say.

"That would make things easier, wouldn't it?" Kaname took a few steps toward Zero, who felt like his bubble was being invaded. That is, if his bubble had a four feet radius. "Gee, that's a nice set of legs. What time do they open?"

Zero coughed... right into the pancake batter. "What?!"

"How about you let me prick you, and we'll see if you really bleed sunshine?" Another few steps forward.

Zero narrowed his violet-coloured eyes suspiciously at Kaname. "You're not on drugs, are you, Kuran?"

Kaname took two steps closer and sniffed Zero's hair, earning a jump and squeak. "Yes, because I believe you're my personal brand of heroin."

"... Please tell me you haven't decided to be Edward Cullen."

Kaname's arm magically slithered around Zero's waist.

One of the hunter's eyes twitched, and he spun around, bitch slapping his 'violator'. It wasn't enough to stop the great Kaname-sama. He caught Zero's wrist before he could retract his arm and kissed his hand.

"I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your Bedrock."

"Oh, yeah, I might as well shove a Popsicle stick up my ass, right, Edward Cullen?" Zero remarked sarcastically, turning back to his pancake batter as a poor attempt to hide his blush. He didn't notice the arm still around his waist.

"Are those space pants? 'Cause you ass is out of this world!"

Zero swore he felt a hand on his butt. He leaned against the counter and groaned in frustration, but made no attempt to remove Kaname's... wandering hand. He already tried the bitch slap, and it didn't work.

"Kuran..." He warned.

Kaname was never one with boundaries. "My, are those pants felt?"

"What?"

"Do you want them to be?" The hand that was on his ass gave a nice, hearty squeeze.

Zero inhaled sharply and bit his lip.

"Okay that's it!" He pushed the other vampire off him and searched his body for the Bloody Rose, but soon remembered he left it in his dorm. 'This can NOT be happening to me...'

Kaname smirked. He was worried Zero would have the gun with him, but that was now out of the question. "Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down."

The hunter's eye started twitching again, and he jumped back a few feet before Kaname could possibly try to pull down his pants or something along those lines. Forget the chairman, he thought. This was real sexual harassment.

The pureblood mentally cursed. Zero was catching on. "I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included."

Zero chuckled darkly, amused. He decided to play along. "Thanks! I saw your name next to dumbass."

"You look like the guy of my dreams."

"Go back to sleep."

"I can tell that you want me."

"Oh, you're right. I want you... to leave."

"I would go to the end of the world for you."

"But would you stay there?"

Kaname pushed Zero against the fridge. "Help. I need CPR."

Their lips met, but somehow, Zero didn't mind as much as he thought he would.

The pureblood chuckled, knowing he had won. "If you were my sister, incest would be hot."

That was when Yuuki entered the room, dropping the plate she was holding with a horrified expression.

"Kaname-sempai!"

--

"Kanaaaaaameeee-seeeempaaai!"

Said vampire's eyes shot open. He lifted his head from the dining room table and yawned.

Pouting, Yuuki placed her hands on her hips. "I can't believe Kaname-sempai fell asleep during breakfast."

"Well, it was your fault for dragging him over here." Zero grumbled.

"That's the last time I agree with the chairman when he decides to invite you over this early." Yuuki decided to dump the blame on her foster father. "I'll go make some coffee..." She sighed, and left the room.

Kaname ran a hand through his hair, and yawned again. "I just had the strangest..."

Zero scooted his chair closer to Kaname, a smug look plastered on his face. "Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk by you again?"

END.