Written by Ksemanr
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System Of A Down Arc
Chapter 1
One day Ksemanr was walking down a long and lonesome road when all of a sudden a giant lobster came out of the ground. The lobster had rotten ham stapled to its face. It turned to Ksemanr and said "My foot is green!" and this statement caused the lobster to explode and implode at the same time while going up, down, and around the crapper while having two heart attacks, six seizures, and a nosebleed all at the same time.
Ksemanr then saw Jonathan37373737 and CTSucks 007 and the three of them proceeded to travel to West Kjfsyrfidnfaooooookiey Land for no apparent reason. The reason they went there that was not apparent for the obvious reason that I typed it wasn't apparent was that System of a Down was having a concert there and they wanted to go dance naked to their music. Plus there was Dr Pepper there in mass quantities.
So the trio of heroes started their journey to West Kjfsyrfidnfaooooookiey Land, but to get there they had to travel the great lengths of the Great Long Deserty Type Place Jipppaloogoofityityitymilililililililililakian. And they were lacking butter, the fastest form of transportation known to man, fish, snakes on planes, and some types of monkeys. The Great Long Deserty Type Place Jipppaloogoofityityitymilililililililililakian was a dangerous place due to the great number of door to door salesmen located there.
As they crossed the desert a large building was in their path and a goat named goaT was at the top of the building. He was wearing a blindfold and held a giant house key. goaT jumped off the building and landed in front of Ksemanr. Then a short Mexican named José walked up to CT and a floating talking post-it note flew out of goaT's nose and flew up to Jonathan37373737. The post-it note read "Note To Self: I miss you terribly" on it. They had come to stop the three from reaching their destination.
Boss Battle
goaT, José, and Post-It
Jonathan swung at the post-it note but Post-It dodged by moving up in the air by 0.4689845615 cm. Post-It made a large claymore manifest in the air in front of it and swung it at Jonathan. It cut Jonathan in half some how creating two Jonathan37373737's. One Jonathan distracted the piece of paper by trying to attack it and avoiding the swings it made with the giant sword. The other Jonathan snuck up behind Post-It while this was happening and ate it. The two Jonathan's then fused back together into one Jonathan.
CTSucks 007 and José faced off. José started throwing hot chili peppers and bean burritos at CTSucks 007. CT was hit and was knocked down. José pulled out a giant beaner flag and was heading toward CT with it. All of a sudden it started storming so CT used his power to make the lightning hit the flag and set it on fire. The lighting also hit José's sombrero and set it on fire. The Mexican started running around in little circles yelling "Aaaah! My hat it's on fire!" in a Carlos Mencia like voice. "You know you could just take the hat off right?" CT asked José. He took his sombrero off but continued to run in little circles, now around the hat. CT said "Why are you still running?" then José stopped to think about this and CT took the opportunity to give José a hard kick to the face. This angered the little Mexican and he went insane and started attacking CT like crazy. CT was about to lose when he thought of something. "Hey José I'll give you two American dollars if you let me win." José replied with a yes and took the money and ran off.
Meanwhile, Ksemanr had to fight goaT. Ksemanr pulled a plot hole out of nowhere and used it to take both him and goaT to Kentucky. They were now standing in a KFC restaurant. goaT was at the counter taking orders and Ksemanr walked up to him.
Ksemanr: I'd like to speak with the colonel please.
goaT: He dead.
Ksemanr: The colonel. Is he here today? I'd like to speak with him.
goaT: I said he dead
Ksemanr: The Colonel. Mr. Sanders. Is Mr. Sanders working today?
goaT: I say to you he dead
Ksemanr: You're telling me I flew all the way to Kentucky to get some of your fried chicken and the colonel ain't even working today?
goaT's head then exploded and imploded at the same time from the pure stupidity being released from Ksemanr's mouth. Ksemanr won the battle and was now back in the dessert with Jonathan37373737 and CTSucks 007.
Jonathan37373737: Hey you got that whole scene in th KFC restaurant from Family G...(gets pushed into the lava by Espio)
Ksemanr: That was an easy and non entertaining battle.
CT: Indeed.
Jonathan: Look over there! (points in the opposite direction that they were meant to look but Ksemanr and CT were smart enough to look the other way)
They could see a man in a suit and carrying a briefcase walking towards them.
To be continued…