Hi. This is my first fic so please don't be too harsh. If you think it's bad, sorry. Reviews would be amazing! Tell me what you think and if I should write another chapter.
There are people who come into our lives who we never want to leave. We just want to grab them away, take them somewhere only we know, and love them forever. Events happen, tearing you and the person you love away from you, from life itself. Pain is etched in their face, causing sorrow in your heart. Knowing you have helped to cause this sorrow makes it a million times worse.
I lay awake, watching Brittany's stomach rise and fall with sleep. Tear tracks are visible down her face, as she has been crying ever since that fateful ceremony. How did I ever let this happen?
She stirred, turning onto her side so she was facing me. Her eyelids fluttered. I wondered what she was dreaming of. I wondered what she was feeling, thinking.
"San?"
That beautiful voice, groggy with sleep, rung in my ears. What was it going to be like, not hearing her voice every day? I didn't think I could handle it.
"Yeah, Britt?" I looked down on her, only to see those beautiful blue orbs staring up at me, filling with tears. "Hey, hey, don't cry." I said, kissing the lone tear that had escaped her eye.
"I-I'm just going to miss you so much, San. When you're gone." She crawled into my lap, sniffling.
"I'm not leaving, Britt. I'll never leave you." My arms snaked around her slim body, my hands resting on her toned stomach.
"San. You have to; you can't throw away your dreams for me. I won't let you." She turned around so that her blue eyes were staring into my chocolate ones.
"Britt-Britt, you are my dream. You're what I've always wanted. All I've ever dreamed of. I'm not giving you up just because that son of a bitch Figgins was idiotic enough to not let you graduate."
Tears slid down her face. Not graduating was killing her. She'd been supportive of me, said she was fine, that McKinley was a nice school, and she could handle going there one more year. But I knew what was really going on. She was all but okay. Brittany has always thought she was stupid, and by not graduating at the end of her senior year, that pretty much confirmed her suspicion in her eyes. Brittany is not stupid, in fact, she's a genius.
This was my fault. I hadn't realized that she was struggling that bad. I was distracted, what with my outing, Cheerios, Glee, and our sweet lady kisses, I was beyond distracted. I had neglected her, the person I love so much it hurts.
"What are you thinking about?" she whispered.
"Us. How it's my fault all this happened." I struggled to keep from crying. You're Britt's rock, I told myself. She needs you to be strong for her.
"No, Santana. It's me. I'm just so, so stupid. And now I didn't graduate and you're going on without me and I'll be stuck in Lima. And then you'll go and find another girl and settle down and get married and it's all because I'm so, so, stupid. I'm just so...so sorry Santana."
Tears started cascading down her face. I held her closer and rocked her until her sobs subsided.
"You, Brittany, are nothing but genius." I pulled her to me and kissed her, trying to put all my feelings into that kiss.
"Hey!" I said, breaking away from her after several minutes. She looked confused. "Let's play 'Do You Remember,'" I said.
Her face brightened. "Okay!" She giggled, bouncing up and down with excitement.
Do You Remember is a game we've been playing since we were about six years old. It's a competition to see who can think of the best memory. It always cheers Britt up. And for me, it's a reminder of how much I've always loved her.
"Hey, San? Do you remember when we first met?"
"Britt, baby, it was the best day of my life."
"Oh really, San?" she giggled. "Tell me about it."
"Okay," I smirked, accepting her challenge.
Santana's first day of kindergarten was going to be one of the scariest days of her life, the worst in her opinion. Santana couldn't quite grasp the concept of school. Why would you need to go learn stuff like ABC's and 123's? She already knew all that from Sesame Street!
She was scared. She had goosebumps on her arms, and her mind was reeling. What was school like? Santana wondered. What if I don't make any friends?
"Santana, come on, sweetie. We're here."
"Mommy," Santana said, "I'm scared. Don't leave me!"
"Hey, now. Don't cry, mija. I'll walk you to your classroom and then you can meet all your new classmates!"
"Mommy, what if they don't like me? All the kids at daycare don't."
"Oh, honey, yes they do!"
The truth was, not many kids did like Santana. She stole their toys, she bossed them around, and she used language that got her sent to the corner. In short, they were intimidated by Santana, and no one dared approach her. Santana's insults were something that none of the tots wanted to deal with, so mostly they just cast her a wary eye once in a while, and left her alone.
Santana's mom, despite Santana's complaints, dragged her into the school, down a few white hallways, and into a room.
The room was brightly lit, with white walls that were covered with bulletin boards. Santana noted how many toys there were in the room. It was like heaven to her five year old mind.
"Hi!" a woman's voice interrupted Santana's thoughts. She looked up and saw a lady wearing a bright blue dress with her hair pulled back into a bun. She had glasses with purple frames, Santana's favorite color. "I'm Ms. Elmer."
"Maribel Lopez," Santana's mom said, shaking Ms. Elmer's hand. "This is my daughter, Santana."
"Hi, Santana," Ms. Elmer said, bending down so that she was Santana's height. "I'm your new teacher, Ms. Elmer."
Santana stuck her tongue out and hid behind her mother.
"Santana! That was very rude. Apologize to Ms. Elmer ahora mismo!"
"Sorry," Santana huffed.
"That's okay, Santana." Ms. Elmer smiled.
"Okay, well, I have to get going. I'll see you after school, San. Be a good girl." Maribel turned to leave.
"Mami, ¡no! Quédate conmigo! Stay! Santana hugged her mom's legs. "I'm scared."
"Mija, let go. You'll be fine, I promise."
Santana only hugged harder, causing Maribel to shoot a pleading look at Ms. Elmer.
"You're just going to have to leave, I'm afraid. I know it's hard, but it's best for Santana." Ms. Elmer supplied.
Santana started to cry, willing her mom to stay and not leave her with these crazy people.
Her mom gently pried Santana's tiny hands away from her leg. "San, let go. I'll be back to pick you up before you know it. I love you."
After several minutes of struggle, Santana finally let go. Her mom walked swiftly out the door; she was already ten minutes late.
Ms. Elmer steered Santana toward a corner. "Here, Santana. Play a bit and make some friends. I have to go greet other families, but I'm just over there if you need me." She smiled, then walked back over to the door.
Santana stood, unsure, watching the other kids play around her. She watched a brunnete and a blonde play blocks in a corner, chatting away. The blonde looked a tad bit bored, but the brunette was animatedly gabbing away about something or other.
She shifted her eyes to a dopey looking boy in the corner, playing with a skinny asian kid and a boy with a Mohawk. Another Asian, a girl, watched them silently with a chubby dark skinned girl. Another boy stood with them, wearing more pink than Santana had ever seen someone wear before, especially a boy.
Everyone had formed groups. More tears streamed down Santana's face when she thought about how no one would want to add another person to their group, especially someone like her. She didn't try to be mean to other people, but they were just so annoying and she couldn't help but insult them. They always-
"Hi!" Santana turned on the spot, ready to insult whoever had interrupted her thinking.
"What do you want?" She snapped, once she had finally located her intruder. She was blonde, wearing a jean skirt and a top with sparkles and had a unicorn on it. Santana thought it was kinda cute, but she would never admit that because Santana Lopez didn't do unicorns.
"Why are you crying? Do you wanna be friends?" the blonde bounced on the balls of her feet, anxiously waiting for Santana to answer her.
"Because I can cry if I want to," she said snarkily. "And no. I can't be your friend." Santana crossed her arms over her chest. She had wanted to say yes, but she was afraid that once this girl got to know what a meanie she was, she'd leave her.
Her face fell. "W-Why not?" her big blue eyes filled with tears.
"I don't even know your name," Santana remarked, wishing she wouldn't cry. It was really sad. It made her want to go jump off the roof because she had caused those tears.
Santana wondered what it was about this girl that made her feel like this. She didn't want to push this girl away like she did with everyone who asked to be her friend. She wanted this girl to actually like her. Her tummy felt funny when she looked at the blonde, like butterflies were flying around in there.
"Oh, I'm Brittany, now can we be friends?" Her face lit up again.
Santana's heart leaped at her request. She'd figured that this girl-Brittany-would just leave after Santana refused the first time. But instead, she'd stayed. And even asked again!
"Um, sure, I guess. I'm Santana."
"Ooh! That's such a pretty name!" Brittany giggled.
"Brittany is pretty, too," Santana said, shyly tucking a piece of brown hair behind her ear.
"Thanks. Wanna play dinosaurs with me? Dinosaurs are my favorite animal, except for unicorns, of course. Do you like unicorns?"
Santana was taken aback by all her questions. Nobody had talked to her for this long in, well, forever.
"Unicorns are awesome," Santana said.
Brittany smiled, then abruptly attacked Santana with a huge bear hug. Santana was caught off guard, but then melted into Brittany's arms. She felt safe there. Brittany then pulled away.
"Let's go play dinosaurs!" Brittany linked her pinky with Santana's and pulled her off to the dinosaur corner.
"And that's when I first met you." I said, smiling down at Brittany.
"I thought you were beautiful from the first moment I saw you. I was, like, in love with your hair. That's why I came up to you." Brittany giggled.
"Well, your hair is prettier than mine, Britt." I said, smiling at her again.
She shook her head but didn't say anything on the matter. "San, your story was wonderful, but it's kinda been a long day, so can we sleep?" Brittany yawned.
"Okay, baby. That's fine with me. But you owe me a story now," I playfully shoved her off of me.
Settling her face into her pillow, Brittany gazed at me intensely. "Okay, San. Tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow." I confirmed.
"I love you, San." She said, her eyelids fluttering closed over the blue eyes I loved so much.
"I love you, too, Britt." I said, before settling down and closing my eyes as well.