Summary: Jingle Bells, Christmas trees, red-nosed Rudolph. They all try to make this Christmas as normal as possible, just for me. Well, most of them. No "V-word", no hybrids, no magic. They may pretend to act normal. And I will pretend to enjoy this performance for their sake. I won't even bother Bonnie with my weird visions of some other reality... where it's snowing.

A/N: Well, it's a bit late for a Christmas story, but it was snowing hard, and this inspiration wouldn't let me go, so... I planned to make a small sweet one-shot for Christmas, but I got carried away. I've been writing it since December, and the story became pretty long. So, I thought that it would be better to split the story into 4 chapters. It's COMPLETE! (sorry, I am just so proud that I have actually finished it!) I will be probably posting the next chapter in two-three days.

The story is set during Season 3, but I won't elaborate since it's not important. At first, I wanted to make the story AU, but then I decided against it. Instead, Elena gets glimpses of her life in some other reality and draws a parallel with Christmas in Mystic Falls. Well, since I am a devoted fan of Delena, you can guess that these visions have a lot (close to everything, actually...) to do with a certain someone xD

Anyway! Read and enjoy! Please, don't hesitate to leave me some feedback! The story is not beta-proved, so I am very sorry for all the mistakes there.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but my mistakes.

...

Until It Snows Again

by SparklyLarry

"Some things are destined to be - it just takes us a couple of tries

to get there." ― J.R. Ward, Lover Mine

Chapter I

Hunt Me Down

"Surely you're not going to cry? Oh, come on! You're better than spilling tears over me! Look around. It is snowing. Damn, it's really snowing!"

"The hell with snow! Just let-"

"Oooh, someone is swearing! Careful, Lena, or you'll end up just like me. In hell."

"Stop it! Please, just stop!"

"What exactly? It's not like I am doing anything! Just enjoying the Christmas night. Ahh, yes, guilty pleasure, to simply lie down and die in the snow. Right!"

"Stop! Stop it or I swear... Oh, great! I can't even say 'or I will go away'!"

"Ahh, I knew you had a better reason to cry than to grieve for me. It's that you can't threaten me anymore that upsets you so much. Good to know! Wow, my conscience is a bit clearer now!"

"Please... Just get inside. Please."

"And miss all the snow? Not happening."

"I don't care whether it snows or rains! God, it may hail for all I care! Damon, just get inside!"

"You mean that I gave up my life for you to see the snow and you don't care? Oh, dammit. I'm dying for nothing. Can it even get more dramatic?" ... "Hey... Fine, I'm sorry, really sorry!" ... "I hate it when you cry, you know? You must be crying just to spite me."

"Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid...!"

"Um... Who?"

" I am stupid! ... You are stupid! No, we both are! How could you just... No, how could I just let you-!"

"I knew what I was doing. It's not stupid."

"Look at yourself, Damon! And it is all my fault! Because I was reckless, and rebellious, and...- and merely stupid!"

"Reckless, certainly. Rebellious? Hell, yes! And probably insane. Or crazy? Spontaneous maybe. But stupid is an odd word here."

"No, I-"

"Admit it, you were dying to feel like this! For a long time. Damn, you craved freedom! Always. Every goddamn day in this goddamn raining city. Wasn't it your dream, your insane fantasy, to spin around and go wherever the hell you want?! Whenever the hell you want! And with whoever the hell you want!"

"Yes... yes, it was. It still is. And that's why it should had stayed that way - an insane dream. My secret wish. Fantasy. Well, I got it! An insane fantasy flashed a cocky smile at me and ran away. And next moment this inclement reality washed over me."

"Any regrets?"

... "That is the worst part." ... "I feel guilty... but not sorry." ... "I should, but... I just don't. Can't. And it's my fault that you are here, and I don't want you to-to...-"

"Hey. Remember what I said to that old and pretty lady at the ticket-office? This journey is on me. Well, I meant it. I am willingly paying for it. And you know why? Because I enjoy it. As much as you do." ... "Maybe even more."

... "Too much, actually."

... "Right... So, since this journey is... unhealthy to me anyway, would you (please) indulge me by joining me here in the snow? Just once, and I'll be never nagging you again, that's a promise!" ... "Thank you..." ... "See, it's not that difficult, is it?"

"Don't... Just don't. Please." ... "Damon...? ... Damon?!"

"Still breathing."

... "Thank you."

"For breathing? Well, it's kind of a challenge now, but you're wel-... Fine, fine, a bad joke." ..."But you're welcome anyway."

..."It's simply snowing. Snow, nothing more. But somehow... it is so..."

"Oh, please, say the word!"

"...so magic."

"Magic?! I was hoping for 'romantic'. What? It's a fancy modern word! Magic, for God's sake!".

"Magic is better, Damon."... "But it may be a little bit romantic, too."

"Told you so!"

"Especially when you're keeping these witty remarks to yourself."

"Hell! Great job, Elena! Now you've blown it. Romance's lost, irretrievably and irrevocably." ... "Dammit, not again..." ... "Dammit." ...

... "Looks like this journey ends here after all. Huh, and here I thought that I could fool goddamn Fate."

..."I thought you are not a fatalist."

"I am not. Not that Destiny cares, though."

"Well, we got a chance to meet and.. It's not half bad."

"Oh, no-no-no! I am not satisfied with this Fate's condescension! ... Here is a deal: next time I am taking you on a longer journey!"

..."...how much longer...?"

"Let me think... How about eternity? Eternity with me... sounds like fun."

"... Sorry, I shouldn't laugh at a moment like this, but... Seriously, being stuck with you on an eternal journey?! Thank God you can't make it that long!"

"Still, I can die trying!"

...

"Grey winter sunlight is lazily licking wet roofs of Mystic Falls. A few puddles got a nice icy crust during the night, but now raindrops are restlessly gnawing through the thin frost. You know this magic rime that trees and windows have in winter-designed postcards and cheesy movies? The one that makes you wanna fall asleep and wake up in a small, cozy, snow-bound town? A town, where people munch on ginger cookies in front of a big hearth with a fluffy carpet in front of it? There is also a tall, beautiful spruce, sparkling with lights and candles, somewhere in the town's centre. And the tree's smaller copies should decorate every living-room in the town. Maybe also an impressive pile of presents under them. Some mistletoe? Probably. Several laughing Santa Clauses and red-nosed Rudolphs? Definitely.

That's what Christmas is supposed to be. And that's what it isn't in Mystic Falls. At least, not anymore. Instead of Santa Claus' happy little elves in green hats we've got Santa Freaking Klaus' angry brainwashed hybrids. I should also mention witches for fairies. And werewolves for reindeer. Plus several vampires, a few Originals and two doppelgängers that don't fit any Christmas category. Though, I guess we have our own vampire-version-Grinch now. That's all magic we get for Christmas this year.

But we are trying to make the best of it. To make this Christmas as... normal as possible. Funny. Once I thought that Christmas is the only day in the year that has to be anything but normal. This is the confusing part. Because I really don't want it to be normal. My mom used to say that Christmas is the only time when magic is real. So, you see the irony. Turns out, magic is very real and it's an unavoidable part of my everyday life now. And everyone is doing their best to make Christmas as anything-but-magic as possible, just for me. They probably hope to make it look like normal American Christmas... That's sweet. Too sweet. But I don't have a heart to tell them to drop it.

It suddenly hit me that I haven't heard the "V-word" today. Not once. Not a single mention of Klaus. Or the Originals for the matter. Or hybrids, or werewolves, or witches... Not a blood-bag in Caroline's fridge. Not a word about hunting. Bonnie even got matches - matches - to light the candles! Stefan had to help her, of course. They try to act casually, as if there is nothing strange about Caroline - Caroline the Always Gorgeous Vampire - fussing over the too high-calorie Christmas dishes and complaining about gaining ten pounds in one night. As if it is absolutely normal (sorry, but the word really starts to get on me!) to watch Alaric decorating the front door instead of sharpening his stakes. And surely there is nothing, absolutely nothing, strange about Stefan calling a Christmas-tree company, making an order for "a nice dark-green Canadian spruce". I almost shouted out "take the damn axe and just get the tree if you want it!", but then he smiled at me... and I couldn't say it. I couldn't tell him - them - the truth that no matter how hard they try, they can't conceal the reality. They can't make it normal. They make it fake.

There is Damon, of course. Do they really believe that it is normal to see him in an apron cooking pudding and roasting a fat turkey? I wonder what Stefan promised him to make Damon of all people play along. He is actually refraining from his witty vampire-related remarks. Of course, he couldn't help but say something ambiguous... Like crying to Stefan from the door "Hey! Fast-food delivery!" when Matt brought us a plastic Rudolph for the yard. A murderous look was sent his way, of course, and Damon had to add something like "Sorry, sorta confused you with a pizza-boy".

They may pretend to act normal. And I will pretend to enjoy this performance. I can look the other way when a stake peeps out from Alaric's sleeve. I can wait patiently for Bonnie to figure out how to start fire in the hearth. I can listen to Caroline's blabbering about low-fat puddings and side-dishes. I can share Stefan's concerns that he won't finish decorations in time as if it's the most frustrating thing in the world. I can pretend to not notice Damon constantly casting alerted glances out of the window.

I won't even bother Bonnie with another dream I had. Her spell kind of helped me for a few nights... But this time it was more... intense. As usual, I can't exactly remember the words, or voices, or faces. Only some feelings and emotions. It is just so freaking confusing this time! I was pissed off, but not really pissed off... More like upset or even devastated, I can't tell. However, the thing is that I was also happy, excited, thrilled. All at once. How is it possible?! I've been on a strict vervain diet for two weeks now, to make sure that no one is messing with my head while I am asleep. And Bonnie made sure to protect me from the witches' magic. So, whatever this... experience is, it's not coming from vampires or witches. For once some mess has nothing to do with Klaus or Katherine and I am actually upset about that. It is so much easier when you know your enemy. Or ally since I can't say whether these emotions-bursting-dreams are bad or good. Oh, one more thing. This time I can kind of relive a brief moment of this dream.

I am lying somewhere, watching the pale sky. It's snowing..."

...

SMASH. A deep sigh of satisfaction escapes me as I close the journal and hide it among the other stuff in my table. Smashing sounds good. It sounds natural. Normal. I appreciate all their efforts, I really do! But I would have never told them about my true feelings about the whole play. They deserve appreciation from me, not complaints. So when a loud noise of smashing glass rings in my ears again, I can barely suppress a victorious smile. It is a sound of reality. Normal reality. Gosh, I must be really going crazy if I rejoice at the thought of something obviously dangerous happening. Because this little Fairy-Tale-Merry-Christmas is no less dangerous than our Reality-Sucks-Christmas. Its like a time bomb in colorful wrappings. And I am so glad that I don't have to break it to them. Nope, something has already done it for me. Later this evening I will give everyone a hug and express my gratitude for their good intentions. And it will be sincere. I am grateful. I should just thank fate for every one of them... More smashing. More breaking glass.

As I rush downstairs, my mind is working on the possible source of the uproar. It can be a hybrid that broke into the house. Klaus must have sent him to... to what? Look for the last stake? Yes, that is possible. Or... can it be Katherine paying them a Christmas visit? I have almost made it to the kitchen when a familiar voice stops me.

"Oh, please, as if she is buying this bullshit!"

Another smash follows Damon's taunt and I catch a glimpse of my fruit vase flying across the kitchen. Quietly, I get a bit closer, just enough to see Stefan standing at the opposite side of the table. A knife is buried in his shoulder, but he seems to pay no heed to the wound. His eyes are burning holes in something (or rather certain someone) I can't see from behind the corner.

"It is not about fooling anyone," Stefan objects calmly, but there is a storm raving behind his cool exterior. He is mad.

"Then what is it about, huh?! And don't you give me this hope-is-everything shit!" his brother doesn't bother to put on a mask of composure. Probably meaning that he is still madder than Stefan. The whole situation starts to really bother me. Where are the hybrids? Where is Katherine? What's going on in my kitchen? One pissed off Salvatore is a problem. Two pissed off Salvatores is a disaster.

"It's about Elena having a real Christmas! A normal Christmas!" Stefan gives up on talking with a cool head and jerks out the knife, sending it flying back at his brother. I cringe. Judging by the growl it hit the target. But it's Stefan's words that make me want to run straight into Klaus' open arms all the while crying 'Doppelgänger's here!'. These words... He means them. "Haven't you noticed, Damon, that she is missing all her late teens while fighting vampires and hybrids? While witnessing people being torn apart by monsters? She must be concerned about the dress she is going to have on her Prom, not about escaping from the Original!" He means it. With all his heart. And I hate myself for hating every single word he says. Because it's true. And I have embraced this truth the moment I learnt he's a vampire. There is no turning back. No magic solution. I am living with it because that's what I've chosen. "She must be thinking about tests and exams and colleges! And now that I want her to have normal teenage Christmas you-"

"You sugarcoat the bloody reality," Damon interrupts both my thoughts and his brother. "Aren't you a fucking genius? How about asking Klaus to dress up like Santa? Bet the costume will suit him! Just to make it look like a normal day with normal neighbors!" a nasty sound of flesh being sliced reaches my ears. It doesn't disgust me. No. It makes me laugh. Bitterly. Here am I, listening to them discussing normal life while hearing the squelch of torn flesh. Absolutely normal. Dear Santa, I hate this word. "You want Elena to have ordinary teenage Christmas? Great! A bit too late for it, though. You should have given her a shot at an ordinary teenage life for that. You know, like not dating someone who has Rudolph for Christmas dinner. Or makes 3D puzzles out of pretty girls. Or-"

"Don't. Don't go there, Damon, or I swear I will stake you," Stefan is struggling now. I can see his fists shaking. It was low even for Damon. What is worse, I started to agree with his statements. He was practically saying my thoughts out loud. At least, some of them. But then... Damon just had to be Damon. He couldn't help but rub salt into Stefan's wounds, could he? I get it all, of course. He is being bitter, and not without a good reason. I guess I am the one to blame for this bitterness. It is always me. Or Katherine. We hurt them. Either Stefan or Damon. It doesn't matter if we stay or go away. No matter what we choose, no matter what we do, one of them is always hurt. And to be completely honest, in the end they both are.

"Sure, go on. A dead vampire is just a cherry on top of Christmas Eve. Hey, you can even drag my body to the hall and hide it under the Christmas tree!" words flow off Damon's tongue in a cheery tune. You may think that he really relishes the prospect of his brother killing him. I only shake my head, angry and helpless. He indeed can provoke Stefan. Anything to ruin his plan. Typically.

Indignation is boiling inside me. I want to come out of my hiding place and yell at him. Can't he just play along or, at the very least, not get in the way?! Why does he always have to interfere? There are decisions I make. Decisions that aren't always easy. But I mean to stand by them. I don't need Damon to brush them aside because they're hard for me. Damn, I need it to sink into the thick head of his! Right now! I wasn't putting up with this stupid normal Christmas for the better part of the day so that he could in a moment destroy my friends' careful planning!

Boldness blazes up as I proudly raise my chin and determinedly head to the kitchen. Thousand words twirl in my head as I walk out of my hiding place and get closer to the arguing brothers. Thoughts mix and get muddled as I try to figure out what to say. Should I glare and yell or smile and plead? Determination is gradually slipping away as Damon's profile gets into the view. He smirks at Stefan and panic begins to creep in. My head starts to ache in the annoying dull way, an indication of its overloaded state.

Too much.

Too little.

A thread of thoughts runs up and down. I lose it, I find it.

My vision blurs, but I keep on going. Somehow the corridor turns out to be much longer. I don't mind. I need time to organize my fleeing thoughts and come up with the speech. A few seconds.

I repeat the things I planned to say, convincing myself that he will listen... He will...

Blue eyes shift and his intent gaze fixes on me. I am lost for a moment. Awed, challenged, thrilled, raged. Words escape me as I struggle to keep the glare. The world is narrowing. The light is getting dimmer. Everything is still. Everything is moving.

Too fast.

Too slow.

Blink.

A smirk twists his lips and I can feel the corners of my mouth tilting upward. Apprehensively, but obnoxiously. It's not a sweet shy smile that adorns my face. It's a grinning challenge itself. Am I nervous? Not sure, agitation obscures every other emotion.

"Still doubt it's a good idea!" Damon purrs playfully. He is obviously talking to Stefan, but icy eyes are still glued to mine. The younger brother hasn't noticed me yet. "Won't Lady Gilbert feel a bit... uncomfortable?" His mocking gaze is slowly traveling down my figure, lingering on the long skirt of my velvet dress. Feeling exposed under this shameless scrutiny - even though the collar almost riches my chin, and long sleeves and gloves conceal the skin - I quickly secure the fur mantlet around myself. Before I couldn't imagine his smirk getting even cockier. This infuriating man!

"You will be surprised, Mr. Salvatore, but I am quite a skillful horsewoman," I reply nonchalantly, but not without a subtle note of pride coloring my voice. I will go.

"Elena!" Stefan gasps in surprise, but then a soft smile brightens his face. I can swear it was distorted by rage a second earlier. All in all, it was Damon he was talking to.

I give Stefan a small smile as he gently kisses the back of my hand, but I am too focused on his brother to offer him a better respond. You can't get distracted with Damon around. You have to watch him carefully to be ready for his blow.

"Skillful at awfully many things, my lady, aren't you?" the elder Salvatore addresses me with an ambiguous wiggle of his eyebrows. I would blush were I not that concentrated on getting what I want. His smirking lips don't haste to leave the back of my hand. This is one of those games we play all the time. He tries to unnerve me. I try to outsmart him. That's the gist of our relationship.

"You are not so bad yourself, Mr. Salvatore," I respond politely. A whiff of inspiration catches me before I can think better of it, "...at awfully more things than I am," I add in a sweet voice. His grin stiffens in a dangerous way. Why am I doing it?! Great, Elena. Always making it harder for yourself...

"My brother and I were just discussing what a skillful... hunts-man you are. Not that I need any proof, of course! I know you are." His eyes get a malicious glint, making me regret the last comment. "I'm merely concerned that you won't be that comfortable with another kind of prey." That impossible, arrogant, obnoxious...-! "That's why I was telling my brother here that you shouldn't join our Christmas Hunt".

Other hunters are ready to go. They pretend to be busy with loading guns and checking hounds, of course. But we all know that they are drinking in every word that leaves our mouths. It must be really entertaining to watch your masters humiliating each other in the most intricate ways possible. Damon and I have probably turned insults into the art. I know this minute that unless I convince him to let me join the hunt now they will leave. And Stefan can't have a say in this since all the hunters are Damon's men. This time I have to fight him on my own. And I would rather suffer humiliation while hunting than wait for Stefan's return at the country estate with Mother and her sisters whispering and giggling behind my back. I can't stand all my family's pointed stares and meaningful signs. Every one of them (even my several times great grandaunt Lisa that I've met only once!) seems to be eating me with their calculating eyes lately. Especially when I am with Stefan. Or even Damon, for God's sake! I don't think they even care (or know) which brother is courting me as long as he comes from the rich Salvatore family. I love my parents, and my Grandmother, and my numerous aunts and cousins... But I am so very disgusted with their attitude to me, to Stefan... As if we are nothing, but a ticket to the prosperous future. So, I am desperate to escape. I can't stay alone with my family! Mother and aunts will take me for a walk. Meaning there will be some embarrassing talk included, some gross advice given, etc. God, can't a woman just love a man because that's all to it?! Probably not in this lifetime.

There is no, absolutely no way I am being left here! Let Damon insult me, let his men laugh at me behind my back. God, I am ready to give him that satisfaction if he just takes me to the damned hunt!

"Oh? Then how about we have a little friendly competition?" I ask him skittishly while winding my arms round Stefan. He responds immediately with a protective hug. I suppress a relieved sigh. No, I am still too weak. I can't fight him completely alone, without any kind of support or protection. Not yet.

"Hmmm, now you've got my interest, Miss Gilbert!" Damon narrows his eyes on Stefan, but a haughty smile never drops.

"Let's see who gets the deer first. The winner shines in his dazzling glory. The loser soaks in a humiliating defeat," I explain swiftly, never breaking the eye-contact. The illusion of my fearless self must be quite convincing since even Stefan stares at me wide-eyed and shocked. But I can't look away from Damon. Not until he takes the bait. I will outstare him this time. Come on, Damon! Surely your big ego can't miss a chance like this!

"Hope you are a skillful loser then," he says at last, looking somewhat conflicted. But I don't get a chance to ponder on it much as a huge wave of relief washes over me. Stefan is murmuring soothing nothings into my ear while stroking my hair, and I must responding somehow since my lips are moving. But I am not aware of my own words. Triumph is all I know as my eyes follow Damon's retreating back. He doesn't know it, but today I won. It's Christmas, I am not at the family estate and I am with Stefan. That's more I could have hoped for.

Men help me to get on a horse they hastily brought from the stables. Someone passes me a hunting gun, and I quickly confirm that I know how to pull a trigger. All in all, Farther doesn't have a son. It was me who was eagerly learning from him how to shoot and clean the gun. A few more minutes, and we are on our way to the woods. Frozen brackens and rotting leaves crunch under the hooves. I wish it snowed here more often to conceal the autumn leftovers. In stead of the impeccable whiteness there is the morose grayness with naked trees around us.

Stefan is galloping next to me on a fine dappled mare with a white mane. He gives me a sign to follow his lead, and I am happy to oblige. I don't really care if I lose the stupid competition. But if Stefan can help me to wipe Damon's overconfident smirk off his face by securing my victory... I am all in! It would be the best Christmas ever. So I rush after him as I let out a laugh full of happiness. He casts an amused smile at me before unleashing the hounds and running after them. God, I love him. And I love this moment of utter joy.

I don't know how long we've been galloping through the woods, dodging trees and jumping over mossy trumps. Two hours. Four hours? But as the skies start to get a pinkish sunset hue our hounds split into two packs taking different routes. I turn to follow the one that runs to the east. At some point my horse gets tired and slows down, but I don't try to make her go faster. All the excitement aside, I am quite exhausted myself. This hunting has been going on for hours, and I am not a skillful huntswoman, as Damon put it. I can't say that I even like hunting. But I enjoy Stefan's company and this feeling of freedom. This ability to go wherever I want.

Gradually, the noise of hunting horns and barking dies, the forest tranquility finally engulfs me. Bullfinches are chirping cheerfully from the hollows, firs in evergreen gorgeous gowns are giggling with the wind. The horse is just pacing now, probably as content with this unhurried way of moving as I am. No rush. No fuss. So peaceful...

Snap.

The sound immediately alerts me, and I look away from the birds, taking in the surroundings. There is a small lawn amidst the firs in front of me. A movement at its far edge catches my eye, and I spin around. At first, I can't see it behind the shaggy branches and deep shadows. I get my gun ready. It's better to be ready to shoot in case there is a bear or a wolf. Another twig snaps, and I start to aim at something behind the firs, where I believe the sound has come from. Agitation creeps into me as I finally distinguish a strong lean body of a deer amidst the branches. I can barely contain my excitement. The day is getting too good to be true! An image of flabbergasted, and very much defeated, Damon comes to my mind and a pleased grin mars my lips. This will be a nice lesson to his overblown ego and arrogance. The trigger is almost pulled when the deer comes out of the shadows...

I stand still.

It is... beautiful. The gun lies forgotten on my lap. The deer's every step is full of elegance. I watch the animal, mesmerized by its gracefulness. Long branchy antlers crown its proud head, black eyes give me an almost reproachful, though still gentle, look of a stern but loving parent. Guilt and shame are suffocating me now. I dismount the mare, but dare not to take a step closer as if afraid to lose the deer's trust. The animal, however, just watches me with its dark calm eyes. It's not afraid of me. And I... cherish this trust. It feels... wonderful. Magic. How could I even raise my gun at this magnificent creature..? It is a true king of the forest...

"You are a smart hunter."

A low chuckle next to my ear gives me a start. No. The magic of the moment is crumbling to pieces as I spin around to come face to face with Damon. This intolerable smirk is mercilessly killing all the wonder and joy I felt a second earlier. His bloody bay is standing a few feet away, lazily stamping the dead grass. I close my eyes. Why can't it be perfect? Just this one time...

"Looks like you do know how to hunt," the elder Salvatore continues, his eyes fixed on the deer, so he can't see the devastation that's written all over my face. I can feel his excitement. Excitement he has stolen from me. "Keep away from loud morons with dogs, and you'll surely stumble upon something worthy." The hunting gun is hanging over his shoulder, but he doesn't rush to shoot. Maybe the deer can still run away... I frantically try to come up with a plan how to shoo the animal without Damon realizing it. He can't know. Or I'll be never joining these hunts again. Should I make my horse run towards the deer? No, Damon is too close, he'll notice my movement. I racked my brains, but couldn't find a solution! Any idea appears impossible with somebody as astute as the elder Salvatore next to me. What if I distract him long enough for the deer to get bored just standing here..? Sounds stupid, but I've run out of any plausible plans...

Before I can act, Damon gets his gun ready. My blood freezes. No! No, no, no! I am at the point of jumping at him, but suddenly these blue eyes fix on me. Barely breathing, I am doing my best to keep a straight face. We stand still for a moment, every part of my body tense with apprehension. His face is unreadable, icy eyes hard and slightly narrowed as if searching for something in my blank stare. And then a crooked smile takes place on this pretty... pretty infuriating face of his. "On the count of three, my lady?"

I blink. What? I must have voiced it out loud, because a small chuckle escapes him.

"Oh, please. Contrary to what you might think, Miss Gilbert,I am a perfect gentleman." Damon arches a brow then as if daring me to argue, but I keep quiet. What game is he playing now? Probably encouraged by me being... not argumentative, the elder Salvatore elaborates, his voice mockingly exhausted. As if explaining something to me is the most emaciating work in the world. Have I ever mentioned how annoying he is? "You are here. I am here. So... You, me... and a deer." His voice sounds so... suggestive. You may get an impression that he's talking about anything but hunting. Typically. "How about this: we take guns, we aim and on the count of three we both shoot. Whoever hits the deer wins. It's as easy as that!"

My mask of nonchalance slips away as I give him an incredulous (and a very doubtful) look. Damon winks at me playfully. "No cheating, that's a promise! Unless.." his smile turns into a naughty grin, "...unless you're a skillful cheater, too."

A plan is quickly forming in my mind. I respond with a small smile of my own. It should be more daunting, more challenging. But I am too preoccupied with my new idea to pay attention. Shrugging, I quickly get the gun. "Whatever. Take your aim. I count."

"As you wish," Damon answers simply, but I can feel his eyes burning holes in me. Does he have suspicions? Have I somehow given myself away?... No, no, I'm just being paranoid. It's another game of his. It is Damon. He's simply trying to unnerve me, hoping that I'll miss then. Well, no need to bother. I will.

I adjust the gun on my slender shoulder and aim. Swiftly, so that Damon won't notice, I direct the barrel at a spot just above the deer's head. The shot should frighten it enough. I just hope it will run away, because the animal so far has been awfully trusting and brave. Any normal creature wouldn't just stand watching humans in the woods! Please, just run... You will have an advantage of surprise, Damon should be perplexed for a second or two... Just, please, run! I will shoot right after I say one. Then the story is that my finger accidentally twitched... I doubt that Damon will buy it. Quite the opposite, actually. I am sure that he'll never let me live it down. But on the positive side, he will probably invite me to the hunting next time. For the fun's sake he will. It's an opportunity to mess with "little clumsy Miss Gilbert" Damon won't miss.

"Ready?" My voice is cool, but my arms are trembling a little, and my legs are jelly. Please, just run...

"Always!" comes his cheery reply. I take a deep breath, frosty air burning my lungs...

Bang.

The report is still ringing in my ears when I fall to my knees. Water is slowly soaking through the fabric of my dress, but I don't feel the cold. And I don't care. The gun is lying in front of me, completely forgotten. Completely useless. The wind is howling in the trees, bringing the echo of barks and shouts from the approaching hunters. I pay them no attention. Somebody is pulling me into warm gentle arms, men are fussing around... But all I see is a cold body at the far edge of the lawn. Dead eyes are still gazing at me with the same trust. A thin stream of blood is lazily running down the muzzle. I failed... And then reality is gradually taking me back.

There is Stefan holding me in his arms and saying how proud he is. There are hunters giving me admiring looks. There is Mr. Salvatore nodding approvingly at me.

But I am searching for him. I want to look him in the eye and just... what? No idea. But I need it.

He is there, just behind Stefan and me, talking and laughing in this casual way of his. As if nothing has happened. As if he hasn't just killedthe most magnificent, the most trusting creature. It was hunting, I know it. The whole point of this activity is killing, I do understand! But how could he just shoot at anyone who was staring straight into his eyes?! Who wasn't even trying to run?

I glare at him. I dare him to look at me. I want him to suffocate in my fury. I...-

He turns, his burning eyes immediately find mine. No taunt. No remorse. He is just watching me. Studying me. And I know this instant that he knew. He saw right through my little game. I was a fool to believe I can outplay him. He won. Again.

"Well, well, well, son! Who would have thought that young Lady Gilbert is such a talented hunter?"

Mr. Salvatore's ringing voice attracts our attention, causing us to break the eye contact. The man approaches Damon and claps him good-naturedly on the shoulder. Amusement is evident in the older Salvatore's eyes. The interaction has me confused...

Damon skillfully sets his features into something resembling an embarrassed expression. I can't help gawking at him. What game is he playing now? Because I'm really done with him this time. "Ugh, Father... Is it really necessary to shove it into my face?" Had I not known Damon, I would say he sounded... ashamed. One glimpse at his glinting eyes has distorted the illusion, of course. But his father is buying the whole play. What's going on for God's sake?!

"Teaches you a good lesson, son. Never underestimate your opponent. Am I right, Miss Gilbert?" the older man addresses me jovially, clearly enjoying Damon's "discomfort".

Huh?

I manage a meek nod, too confused to formulate a decent sentence. Did Damon just...? No way. I must have misunderstood the conversation... All this respect, all these admiring looks the hunters were giving me make sense now... But... Impossible. Ridiculous even.

"Ahhh!" Damon's arms shoot up in surrender. "I'd better go and soak in my humiliating defeat now!" he quotes my words from earlier today and spares me a quick glance. A little spark of mischief is dancing there as he dramatically turns his back on me and walks away.

... No. He can't just escape me like that. I need to talk him! No, I need to give him a piece of mind! He won't get away that easily! One moment I'm safe in Stefan's arms, next moment I'm running...

"Damon!"

Fury. Irritation. Puzzlement. Regret. Indignation. Wonder.

There is too much in my call.

There is too little.

He halts.

I get closer.

He turns.

And we are face to face. Again. Trying to outstare each other in a silent battle of wills.

Blink.

"You killed it!" I burst out at last, poking his chest with all the force I can afford.

"Huh?" For a moment, I think I can see real confusion brewing in Damon's eyes. But I quickly shake my head to whisk it off. Damn, he is one hell of an actor! "Umm, I killed what?"

"Drop it, I'm in no mood for your games!" I yell, infuriated and annoyed beyond compare. Either he explains to me why he's done that or, I swear, I am tearing down this leather jacket of his!

"Okay, okay, I killed it! Just, cool off for a sec," Damon hastes to agree, but I feel no satisfaction. He has just repeated my words, without even meaning them! Is he going to deny it? And I can't just cool off! What the hell?! How dare he...- "Now. What did I kill this time?"

"The deer!" I didn't plan to encourage his 'I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about' act, but the word was out before I could restrain myself. I was just... So. Pissed. Off.

"The what?"

"The deer?"

The second incredulous voice makes me aware of another presence in the kitchen, and I cast a glance over the shoulder to meet Stefan's utterly perplexed look. I've almost forgotten about him. I should have explained it to him before running off like this... He must be so lost, having no clue of what's happened. And me yelling with no reason at Damon, accusing him of...

Abruptly, I stop a train of thoughts that's rushing through my head. My fingers fidget with the rim of my jeans' pockets as I'm racking my brains, trying to remember what it is I am accusing Damon of. Now it's my turn to frown in confusion.

"Whoa, guess you've got the wrong Salvatore here!" Damon flashes her an amused smile. "You know, deer are Stefan's speciality."

"Shut up," the younger brother hisses at him while watching me carefully. I shut my eyes and slowly inhale warm air, saturated with a sweet aroma of ginger bread. No frost. No rotten leaves beneath my feet. No mud. No forest. No hunting. Just my kitchen. Arguing vampire brothers. And Christmas. Everything is back to normal...

My eyes immediately flutter open. What the hell has happened? I quickly pinch my arm, and a small barely painful sensation scares me more than a knife to the stomach. This is reality. I am pretty sure about this. There are memories, vivid memories. And feelings, and fears, and... Everything! But then... what was that? There were memories, too. I could feel the cold, could feel the pain... I swear I am still sore after several hours on horseback... But there was no horseback and no hunting! There couldn't be ! Could there...? No, no, no! I was here, in my Gilberts' house in Mystic Falls, coming up to Damon to tell him to let us have this goddamn normal fake Christmas. Wherever and whenever that other something was, it's not here and not now. Then how...

"See? Your stupid plan isn't working!" Damon announces in a too happy smug voice. There is a big 'I told you so!' written across his smirking face.

"And you feel so smart, don't you? Having destroyed her favorite holiday?" Stefan snarls, steaming in impotent anger.

"Oh, please, don't make Grinch out of me," the elder brother replies with an eye-roll, his tone dripping annoyance. "I am not destroying anything, but a stupid and dangerous illusion of yours. Keep it up, and there will be dear Santa Klaus in our hearth before you can say 'pudding'!"

"There won't if we are on the alert!"

"On the alert, right!" Damon snickers nastily. "Like serving our special vervain punch!"

"What do you want from me? To say that life sucks? That we are screwed? Fine. Life sucks and we are screwed. Let's sit down and wait for Klaus to end our misery!" Stefan bursts out, his patience finally out of fuel. "No way we can enjoy just one normal Christmas."

"Enjoy? Normal?" the elder Salvatore breaks off with a scornful laugh. "What is normal? This? No one is enjoying this facade, least of all Elena! You wanna give her a fucking fairy tale? Then make a fucking dream for her!"

My eyebrows twitch in annoyance. I need to figure out what the hell has happened to me, no time to lecture one-hundred-seventy-years-old children. Their loud voices ring in my aching head. Reality... No, realities must have mixed, and I've got into the middle...

"Yes, Damon. It's so very like you. Pick the easier way out and spit upon others."

But it was also Christmas there, meaning that it couldn't be just a random episode of someone's life...

"Oh, let's do it Stefan-way! Come up with the dumbest plan possible and go all self-righteous when it goes south!"

No, not someone's. It was my life. In a way. I cared... Damn, I still care about all those people! Okay... I'm on vervain, there's a ton of spells on me. It's very unlikely that anybody's messing with my head. Is it more like a... memory? No, that place didn't even look like America. I am pretty sure it wasn't even English we spoke. As to the century... Definitely not my epoch. Sometime earlier. So, was it some other doppelgänger's experience? Dammit! I need to talk to Bonnie! Something is seriously wrong with me. First those dreams, now this...

Smash.

And can't they just stop ruining my kitchen?!

"Enough!" I snap at the brothers, causing them both to stop abruptly, Damon's hand still raised, ready to throw a fork. They blink at me, as if suddenly remembering that Elena is here and she is pissed off. Guilt clouds Stefan's features, his face getting sad. I bit my lip. His guilt is contagious. "Really, guys..." I soften my voice and come up to him, my hands locked behind his neck. "Do you really need to fight today? Can't you just... pretend to agree on everything for one day?" Damon's snort reaches my ears, but I pointedly ignore it. "I really, really want to enjoy this Christmas, Stefan. Meaning, I need the more level-headed brother to stop wracking my kitchen and help Matt with reindeer on the roof," I add mischievously, giving him a sweet peck.

"Just don't drain them!" Damon just can't refrain from a stinging remark. No surprise. Naturally, Stefan stares daggers at his brothers... or rather stakes. There will be utensils and glasses flying any minute now. Not again... Before my kitchen is completely destroyed, I haste to distract Stefan by a more persistent kiss to which he eagerly responds.

"Should we place Rudolph on the roof, too?" he asks with a playful concern as our lips are pulling apart. I can't help a bittersweet smile. The facade is still on then. Not that it matters... Now I have more serious issues at hand.

"How about the porch? It looks a bit empty," I reply cheerfully, hoping that my voice sounds natural. He leaves with another smile. A smile that isn't directed only at me. I sigh. It was the easy part. Now comes the difficult one.

I can't wait to go and find Bonnie, but... something about my experience is connected to Damon. Actually, it's all about our interaction. And I think I see some parallel here... No, now that sounds crazy. I should just go and look for Bonnie. The sooner this reality-mess is taken care of the better. I turn to go.

"Wow. You're an awfully skillful liar."

I am almost at the threshold when these casually said words echo in my ears and I freeze to the spot.