Established B&B, but squintern focused. No spoilers, set any time after Baby B&B arrives.
"So what's your hook?" Finn questioned Arastoo in between bites of his sandwich.
"My hook?"
"Yeah, you know, your personal link to Dr. Brennan. The 'thing' that keeps you in the running for a job here after you graduate."
Arastoo continued to look confused and shot a questioning look across the table to Wendell. Wendell in turn became very interested in the week old slice of pizza he had liberated from the depths of the break room refrigerator.
"I still don't understand the question."
"Well, rumor is that Doc Brennan will hire a new assistant to take over some basic duties now that the baby is here. Seems likely she'll pick one of y'all since you're due to graduate soon."
"That's conjecture. But even so, why would that require a personal 'hook'? Dr. Brennan is a professional. She'll simply pick whichever student presents the best thesis defense." Arastoo glanced around the table confidently.
Unfortunately, support from his fellow interns was not forthcoming as Fischer made a choking noise into his coffee mug and Wendell still refused to look up from his lunch.
Finn reached up to adjust his cap and laughed a bit. "Sounds rational, but it seems that Dr. Brennan has been anything but rational for that last few months, hormones and all. Besides, I assume that Dr. Saroyan and Agent Booth will have some input in the decision. They are not entirely rational people."
Arastoo continued to protest, "Dr. Brennan makes a point to keep a professional relationship with her students. Especially after …recent events."
The men were all silent for a moment out of respect for their fellow fallen intern.
"Sorry to ruffle your feathers, but I've only been here a few months and even I can tell Dr. Brennan does not have a strictly personal relationship with any of her staff, except for maybe you. Come on man, Wendell here is building her house!"
"Hey!" Wendell choked on a mouthful of stale, congealed cheese. "I'm not doing that to get the job, Booth needed help, I needed money. It's not my fault I'm the only intern who knows a band saw from a jig saw."
Unfortunately, Wendell's self-defense just opened the door wider. "That's right; Agent Booth likes him, too. They play hockey and various other sports together," Fischer chimed in, unhelpfully. "Even Dr. Hodgins socializes with him, despite the fact that he used to sleep with his wife."
Two bright spots appeared high on Wendell's cheeks but he knew there was no way to rebut Fischer's charges.
"Right," Finn nodded in oblivious agreement, "and Ms. Wick says she accompanied Dr. Brennan on that dig to Maluku. Living on a deserted island together for a year has gotta breed some familiarity."
"Plus, she's dating Dr. Sweets." Wendell added, happy to move the attention off his own relationship with the bosses.
"How does that aid Daisy? Dr. Brennan hates psychologists." But, Arastoo was starting to worry.
Wendell took a deep, uncomfortable breath and elaborated, "Yeah, but she, Agent Booth and Sweets have some pseudo-parental/sibling/confidant love-hate thing going on. Have for years. If Daisy has to move for a new job, Sweets will be lonely and depressed and want to spend more time with them. I'm sure Dr. B will take that under great consideration. Besides, Daisy has already survived a firing and rehiring. She's… remodeled. Stronger candidate than when she started."
Fischer nodded in agreement, "But don't worry about competing with me. My dissertation will never be up to par to defend and the committee will automatically dismiss me from the program after seven years. I imagine I'll be working at some fast food establishment in another two years or so."
"Comforting. Thanks, Fischer."
Fischer did attempt to find a not-quite-bright side, "Maybe they'll let Dr. Edison go and hire two of us in exchange. His small talk topics have become less than appropriate and perhaps overly personal as of late."
Wendell shook his head in objection, "His testimony saved Dr. Brennan's father from death row. Also, that guy survived discussing Dr. Brennan's breasts with Dr. Brennan. If she didn't let him go and he didn't quit over that conversation…"
But Arastoo finally had hope, "That's only because Agent Booth doesn't know. Maybe I should inform Booth, you know, as a friend, a buddy, married-man to well, partnered-man."
"Are you kidding? You want to talk to Booth about Dr. Brennan's breasts?" Wendell's voice again dipped at mentioning his boss' chest, and his eyes scanned the room from side to side just in case the aforementioned armed Agent should appear. "Just pack your bags for a low paying post doc at a rural research university now."
"Well apparently I need to develop a personal rapport with someone close Dr. Brennan to even out this playing field before I defend my thesis and end up unemployed. I like it here. Most of the time."
"You could re-establish your Middle Eastern accent," Fischer offered. "Then maybe they'll hire you out of fear of discrimination charges." Everyone at the table groaned.
"But… Dr. Brennan's baby! The baby hates Sweets. That must count against Ms. Wick by proxy." Arastoo knew he was grasping at straws to eliminate one of his classmates from the applicant pool. But it was true. The baby did have an aversion to Sweets and tended to scream whenever the young doctor got too close.
Unfortunately, Finn cast off his hypothesis easily. "Nah, that there's just a dominant genetic aversion to psychologists. And that kid's got a double dose. Besides, Parker Booth loves Sweets and his video games. So, he and Daisy are still technically batting five hundred when it comes to the kids."
Wendell and Fischer solemnly nodded their agreement, rising from the table to pat Arastoo on the back in sympathy as they departed the break room.
"Sweetie?"
"Yes, Ang?"
"Why is Arastoo trying to teach your two-month old how to say his name?"