The Diary of a Misunderstood Policeman

          November 14

All they see is a man of the law. All they see is a harsh, old dude with big sideburns.

          They don't see the sensitive soul inside, struggling to get out.

          It's really a kind soul. It's a soul with a heart, a soul with a loving mind, a soul with a foot fetish.

          …Oh, God. Did I really just admit that?

          But now you know.

          I am a human being too.

          November 16

            10:00 a.m

Idiot blokes trying to get out of jail again. What is UP with them? They wanted in, obviously.

          So now they get to stay there. It's as simple as that.

          Wait, that's not very simple, is it?

          By the way, what's with Jean Valjean? I always thought he was kind of a freak. You know, beginning with the Name-Val-Name thing. It would be like me calling myself Javert Valjavert.

          Actually, that DOES sound pretty awesome.

          In a way.

          10:30 a.m.

            Damn solicitors. They come to the door of the freaking police station and try to sell us stuff.

          The last one just came up and said "Hello, sir, I'm Randy. What's your name?"

          "My name is Javert ValJavert…"

          …He left pretty quickly.

          10:50 a.m.

            I think I have some theatrical talent.

          I could be in shows!

          I could play a misunderstood policeman.

          Wait, I AM a misunderstood policeman.

          How amazing is THAT???

            11:13 a.m.

            Must get ready for rounds of policing today. La, la.

          In shower. La, la, la. Singing.

          Washed sideburns. Also dried them. Mm, they look very nice now.

          Wearing awesomely cool police hat. This job really has benefits.

          11:30 a.m.

            Left for rounds.

          11:33 a.m.

            Forgot nightstick. What kind of idiot am I?

          11:34 a.m.

            Went back to get nightstick. Sneer.

          11:40 a.m.

            Hit gamin with nightstick and ran away giggling. Ah, violence. Warms the very soul.

          11:50 a.m.

            Hope the gamin did not see me giggling. Very bad for image as an evil policeman.

          Or a misunderstood kindly soul. Either one.

          9:00 p.m.

            Stupid thieving blokes kept me working all afternoon. Dead tired.

          9:10 p.m.

            Washed sideburns again so I can sleep easily.

          Plus, I dried them. Now they are incredibly sexy.

          I'm too sexy for my sideburns…oh, no, it is the other way around.

          Wonderful.

          9:30 p.m.

            I feel pretty, oh so pretty…