AN: Yoyoyo! I mainly typed this up because in the newest volume there's finally a high school AU. But... Eren looks high to me? Thus this silly story was born. This was a great warm up story to finally start writing again! I promise to release more silly stories like this though, they're fun!
Anyways, this is obviously a AU. But Titan's still exist for whatever reason, I needed some kind of impact so I decided to leave Eren's Titan form intact. It makes no sense at all but eh.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy this weird fanfic!
I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin, my idol Isayama does. I hope he keeps on being cool and drawing those insane fake out previews.
"Eren... Eren wake up, we're going to be late to school."
Feeling Mikasa shaking his shoulder, Eren's bloodshot eyes jolted open. "Blughhhh, what time is it?"
"Seven thirty in the morning. You don't even have enough time to take a shower, honestly..." Mikasa sighed, shaking her head at her adoptive sibling. He could be such a handful at times.
Sitting up, Eren scratched his head and looked at Mikasa with a confused expression. "I don't remember anything at all about last night..." Scrunching up his eyebrows, Eren started getting annoyed. He felt like something big happened, however he couldn't remember it at all.
Looking at Eren, Mikasa let out a big sigh and sat down on the floor near Eren. "Where do I begin..."
Clearing her throat, Mikasa decided to start from the beginning. "You went over to Jean's sixteenth birthday party, everything started normal. Connie and Sasha kept pulling pranks on everyone, Jean flirted with every girl and Marco tagged along with him. You got annoyed at Jean's flirtations so you told Jean to 'cut that shit out' and both you and Jean fought until I pulled you away. Until Reiner came by with beer."
Widening his eyes, Eren briefly did remember fighting with Jean. Mikasa scolded him until he turned bright red of embarrassment. "Uhhh, then what happened?"
"Jean ended up thanking Reiner for buying beer for everyone, and boasted about it 'being a real party now'. You ended up not drinking any at all, and just watched as everyone else got drunk on their first can of beer. That is until Jean dared you to see which one could last the most shots."
'I'll bet I won ahaha.'
"You ended up getting so drunk that you couldn't stand up properly, but nevertheless you won. Jean passed out cold. Reiner was laughing in the distance, and Marco was yelling 'I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYSSSSSSS' and pointing at everyone in the room. Ymir was more or less the same, Reiner too. Armin passed out after half a can of beer. Bertholt was blushing a lot."
'I'm a idiot.' Eren mentally slapped himself and made to mental note to never listen to any of Jean's dares ever again. He knew better than to listen to that horseface, much less take any dares from him.
"Things started getting bad when you regained some of your leg strength, and ran outside. I ran after you... it was too late. You met up with Levi, who was patrolling the area, you got in his face and shouted 'FUCK DA POLICE' over and over again. It got to the point where Levi kicked you in the stomach and dragged you to me." Looking annoyed when she mentioned this part, Mikasa grumbled 'I hate that fucking shortie.'
"Ah fuck." Lifting up his white tank top, Eren noticed a huge bruise. It matched Levi's foot print, alright. Lightly rubbing his bruise, Eren winced.
"I dragged you back to Jean's house, oddly enough you were still awake. Reiner asked me what happened, and I told him. Reiner slapped you on the back and congratulated you on getting laid."
'Reiner's going to pay for that comment later...' Balling up his fists, Eren hoped the story ended there. It didn't, to Eren's annoyance.
"You ended up accepting yet another dare, this time to arm wrestle Reiner. I tried to stop you but you ignored me and pulled up your sleeve. Slamming your elbow down on the dining table, Reiner did the same and wished you luck. He ended up smashing the table in half and well." Mikasa paused, wondering if she should lie for Eren's sake. She decided not to. "You turned into a Titan, destroying Jean's house and alerting the Recon corps."
Laughing, Eren looked at Mikasa like she was joking. The expression on her face told him she wasn't joking around, and that everything she told him was true. Gulping, Eren laughed and scratched his head in embarrassment.
"After that, Hanji ran over and started foaming at the mouth. I had to drag her out of the way, much to Hanji's dismay. Levi looked more annoyed than usual and glared at Reiner until he confessed. After that you were taken out of your Titan form and returned to me. You weren't in trouble since it was Reiner and Jean's fault." Mikasa lied about the last part, but Levi said he'd try and convince the courts to just give Eren community service. He didn't kill anyone, which was a good thing. Though he did kill Jean, practically.
"Ahhhhhh fuck." Eren scratched his head harder and got angry again. At himself, mostly. "Is Jean alright?"
"His parents gave him such a harsh punishment that he cried and cried." Mikasa almost laughed at his parents lecturing him, but she held back.
"What was the punishment?" Eren asked.
"Being grounded until his parents died or forgot. His mom seems like a very... strict lady."
"Ppppppfttttt, OH MY GOD AHAHAHA." Eren screeched, laughing loudly until he was on the ground in a fetal position.
Mikasa sighed again, sitting up. "Eren, I'm going to school. Get dressed, and at least show up."
"Yeah, yeah I'll go." Eren said, standing up. Slipping on one of his many shirts laying around, Eren yelped and fell on his face. Mikasa shook her head and continued walking to school.
PS: First one to guess what the title translates to gets a Armin plush toy.