--- Running on Memories.
Hearts are our reason to live. Sweet memories, sour memories, memories not even worth remembering, stored unintentionally inside its beating interior. We are all claiming, possessing, hurting, and breaking hearts; over and over again. It's a part of life itself. Hearts cause us to have emotions. Sometimes we stay and deal with them, sometimes, we have to run after them.
Naruto's heart was born cursed and tainted by the demon fox. The first part of his heart dealt with the pain of rejection and loneliness. The second part shone with a sense of belonging when he became a ninja. The third parts were his friends, his comrades, his companions.
The forth part was Sasuke.
The first time was when they first met; eyes locking, each with the understanding for being alone and unacknowledged. The second time was when they sparred, awakening a true sense of spirit and pushing Naruto to be better than his best. The third time was when they were all working together as Team 7, his heart felt complete. The forth time was when Sasuke left, where Naruto was haunted with emptiness.
At first, Naruto's heart was strong; hoping, vowing, to bring Sasuke back. But it was already too late. Something stirred in him as he gazed across to Sasuke's cold eyes in the Valley, searching. Searching… for what? Sympathy? Pity? Jealousy? Understanding? … Love?
He was searching for anything.
Sasuke had a heart. He was just stained and blackened by, his brother, Itachi. He didn't have room in it for anyone else; not Sakura, not Kakashi, not his comrades, not even Naruto. A heart that was covered with thick, iron bars, which only Naruto managed to break through. Sasuke was taught to have no emotions, but Naruto made him feel. Sasuke was afraid of these feelings. He was afraid of getting weaker.
He was afraid to show these feelings to Naruto.
Five years later, it felt like nothing had changed. Naruto was looking up at Sasuke, and Sasuke was looking down. Blazing, determined eyes met dark, expressionless ones. He wasn't expecting to find nothing in them. He didn't plan on looking up at Sasuke so desperately, he didn't plan on Sasuke discovering the demon fox inside him, he didn't plan on being brushed off so quickly, he didn't plan on leaving empty-handed with a broken promise and shattered feelings.
After that, everything was different. He didn't really care for a date with Sakura, sometimes, he was too ill for ramen, and even, occasionally, forgot about his dream to become Hokage. He once took pride in assuring people that he was going to bring Sasuke back, but was only returned with fake smiles and 'of course you will's.
His years were spent denying it, of training harder than ever, of wondering what Sasuke was doing now and whether… whether he missed Naruto. There was no denying that was it all because of Sasuke. Everything he tried to do was because of Sasuke. Naruto hated these emotions, trying to push them to the back of his heart, but it was no use. What was wrong with him and why couldn't he keep Sasuke out of his head?
Naruto knows that it is hopeless to bring Sasuke back, power-consumed and filled with hate, but yet, he keeps running.
Running on empty promises, failed attempts, and a gapless hole in his heart.
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My first fanfiction. Blargh.
/collapses and sleeps/