House Rules
#1
Suggesting to Aunt Daphne that she should make a dictionary for her the words she makes up is not allowed. She takes it seriously, guys.
#2
Pushing someone into a pool is not the best way to start a romantic relationship, contrary to past events.
#3
Telling your friends that your father is a celebrity is not allowed.
#4
Harry Potter is not coming to Ferryport.
#5
This goes out to Emma especially, but being friends Peter Pan's son just to piss off your dad is unappreciated.
#6
No, you cannot have a chimp army, Emma. That's final.
#7
Calling your sister a "bug" because of her wings is not appreciated, Emma.
#8
Stealing Aunt Daphne's wand and enchanting each other's clothes, make-up and accessories is not allowed, unless you have good intentions. (And you so rarely do.)
#9
Going up to Uncle Jake's newest girlfriend and telling her that she'll never be like Briar is prohibited.
#10
Starting an argument between Uncle Pinocchio and Aunt Daphne over words is not allowed.
#11
Stop pitting fights between Aunt Daphne and Uncle Basil over who the cooler aunt/uncle is.
#12
Trying to reinvent the glop grenade, as a barf bomb is not allowed, Emma.
#13
Telling your friends that your mom saved the world was only okay the first time. Now, it's getting old.
#14
Giving Ms. White apples even though you know she won't eat them is not gravy at all. It's a waste of food!
#15
Singing "Just the Girl" on your father and I's wedding anniversary is unappreciated, no matter how much he was grinning the entire time.
#16
No, your father isn't taking you to Neverland.
#17
Trying to find a girlfriend for Uncle Mustardseed is unappreciated.
#18
Challenging Mordred to a video game battle is not okay. Enchanting the game to make you win is not okay either.
#19
Just because you're princesses, doesn't mean that you can run around Faerie causing havoc.
#20
Alison, stop calling your sister "Dilemma".
#21
Stealing wands and shouting "Avada Kedavra!" just to see if it works is not allowed.
#22
You are not allowed to scream about moths and making your father believe it's the fairy, not the insect.
#23
Referring to your father and I as "Puckabrina" will result in your father referring to you and Parker as "Parkison".
#24
Asking me if something's wrong because I look a little Grimm was not funny the first time.
#25
Using your father's version of events for your English homework of summarizing A Midsummer's Night Dream will make you fail.
#26
Drawing a mustache on someone's face is also not the best way to start a relationship either.
#27
Neither is pelting him with your barf bombs, Emma.
#28
Or handcuffing yourself to them. Your father was an idiot. Please don't follow in his footsteps.
#29
How did you even get handcuffs? Please don't steal them from the Sherriff's office.
#30
Running into the house and shouting "Someone's been murdered!" is not appreciated.
#31
Complaining that Aunt Daphne and I had so many adventures and did so much stuff when we were seven and twelve respectively is not an excuse for sneaking out of the house late at night.
#32
Using a charm to make everything in Aunt Red's room the color red is not okay.
#33
Do not hit your father, no matter how tempting it is sometimes.
#34
No referring to the Everafters as "fairy tale freaks".
#35
Asking someone to write a book about you so you can be immortalized as an Everafter is not okay.
#36
Trying to recreate Granny Relda's food and serving it during dinner is not allowed.
#37
No matter how many times you suggest it, just because we live in a town full of Everafters does not mean that we should build a castle in Ferry Port Landing.
#38
Just because you're a princess doesn't mean we should live in a castle.
#39
Please don't refer to yourselves as the Sisters Grimm. That's specifically for Daphne and I.
#40
Nor can you refer to your cousins, Jake and Will, as the Brothers Grimm when they grow up. Even if they are named after the original.
#41
Don't treat your Grimm Journal as a diary. I don't want to see anything along the lines of "Parker isn't noticing me today." in it.
#42
Inviting Aunt Cindy over to clean the house is not allowed.
#43
Going around Uncle Pinocchio and Aunt Daphne's house shouting "I SHIP DAPHERSEED!" is not allowed.
#44
Stop inventing ship names.
#45
Stop insisting that Storybrooke from Once Upon a Time is also a real place and we should find it to compare our Everafters with their Everafters.
#46
On that note, don't insist that we should call the creators and sue them.
#47
Watching Disney movies with the Everafter the movie is talking about is not okay.
#48
You are not allowed to run around and scream that the sky is falling whenever your father and I show public displays of affection.
#49
Covering rooms with scarlet handprints and leaving cryptic notes saying "we're back" on April Fool's Day is never okay.
#50
No, I am not being an evil dictator by making this set of rules and you are not allowed to claim that this can be used as cause for starting a mini-revolution and getting your father to help you. That is final.
Love,
Mom
AN: Err... Long time no see, eh?
For those of you who don't know me, seeing as a lot of new people joined the fandom, I'm Airene Archerway. Most people call me A though. I was a writer on this place like a year ago then I went AWOL. But now I'm back! Ta-da! *cue the fireworks being set off by the chimps* I recently started having plot bunnies fly through my head which made me want to write FF again. So, here I am.
All my old fics are going under reconstruction. THEN I'll work on a new story.
Anyway, I missed you guys! PM me if you wanna talk. :)))
Just to clear stuff up about this fic, Daphne and Pinocchio are married and have twins named Jacob "Jake" and Wilhelm "Will". Emma's best friend/partner in crime is the son of Peter Pan and Alison still has a crush on Parker. What's your favorite rule? Please review!
-A