Say Goodnight by hitsuji25
Disclaimer: You know the usual. I don't own this, Mika Nakamura does. Done. The song is Baby Say Goodnight by The Click Five.
Summary: I'll wait for her because she has yet to say goodbye to me.
Note: Everything is in Kanata's POV. Normal Text is the present circumstances. Bold Characters is the song part. Italicized Words is a flashback. Thank you for reading. D
Our separation has it's faults
But I don't wanna leave it all
So write the letters in teary ink
I just need some time to think
And I just need some time to breathe
It's been almost a year since you left me. You left your life here. You left everybody.
You left me.
So now, I lie awake on my bed. I am alone in this cold, barren, so-called home of mine. It was never the same since that day. It was always you who brought such bright days here.
It's been like this every now and then. Insomnia would prevail and so I won't be getting any sleep I need.
Every few nights I would dream of you. I can't tell if it's a blessing or a curse. Is fate doing me a favor or mocking me instead? I don't know.
I shifted to face the wall. My eyes wander to my study table where a picture of our friends stood in a frame. It was the one at the beach where Chris invited us during summer break.
It was rather a crowded shot, but I can only see your smiling face.
"Ready guys?" Santa shouted as he readied the camera.
"Hurry up and get over here!" his girlfriend, Aya, screamed. The said guy rushed towards the group, tripping along they way. The whole gang was there: Aya, Nanami, Santa, Christine, Nozomu, Miyu and then there's me Of course, there's also my fan club girls, Mikan, Mizuki, Momoka, Miss Mizuno and other people .
"1"
Miyu stood beside me and smiled for the picture. I nervously placed an arm around her, half-expecting her to push me away.
"2"
Surprisingly, she leaned on me and smiled broadly.
"Smile!"
Click.
Sigh. Memories that still linger just won't go away.
Everyday became a whole new world for me because of her. Sure, I'm still a jerk, but at least I didn't completely turn into an antisocial.
I grunted and decided to face the ceiling again.
Damnit, its not helping.
It was always difficult for me to express myself. An intolerable weakness of mine, I cannot deny.
It was the week before the beach outing.
"Hey, Kanata…" it was one of those nights where you'd spend the night in my room as I help you with some school work.
"Yeah?" I didn't mean to sound rude.
"You know, mom called this morning." Her fingers fidgeted in nervousness, but I decided to ignore it.
"Really?" I didn't mean to sound so uninterested.
"Yeah… Well…"
"Well?"
"… She just wants to say hi."
"I see. Well, let's hurry up and finish so that we can go to bed."
"Yes, I understand." It wasn't like her to back down from my cold gestures and just let it slide. No, it wasn't like her at all.
It was then that I wished that I had listened to what she wanted to say.
Baby
just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
Baby just close your
eyes
I can't take the sorrow
Baby just walk away
You know I
can't stay
There's no easy way to say goodbye
So baby just say
goodnight
I couldn't take it anymore so I resolved to get up and have a glass of water to cool my head.
Every thought of you can really mess up a person's rational thinking.
I remember every now and then you'd call us up, telling us how you miss everybody and such. You never asked about me,whether I was coping well without you or even if I'm missing you.
Hell, of course I miss you.
I slammed the glass cup onto the table out of frustration. What am I suppose to do?
I looked at the clock:
3: 18 am.
Maybe I can call her up and ask about her. It would be, like, afternoon-evening in America right now, right?
However… would it be rude?
Would it be weird?
Should I even be calling you?
What if you're busy?
What if what's-his-name… uh, Josh, is there again?
What if you don't want to talk to me?
Damnit. So many questions are going through my head.
But still… I…
But still…
I…
We're
in a spell that never ends
The empty hourglass wore me thin
So
let the phone do it's work
Your voice is heaven
But it
hurts
Your words are memories
But they burn
Ring… Ring…
"Hello?"
Miyu?
"May I ask who this is?"
It's me Kanata.
"Kanata? Hey! How are you? Why'd you call?"
Nothing much. Couldn't sleep.
"Oh yeah, I think it's like four in the morning there."
Pretty much. How are you?
"I'm good."
I see. You seem pretty busy lately.
"Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't call much."
It's all right. I understand.
"So, how is everyone?"
Same old. It'll be Chris and Nozomu's anniversary next month.
"Really? How nice! They've been together for so long…"
Yeah, I know. Then there's also Aya and Santa.
"Still fighting I guess?"
Haha. Yep. But I they can't get enough of each other.
"Haha… How about Nanami?"
She's doing well with that new foreign exchange student.
"Wow. Didn't see that one coming."
Hehe. Everybody's doing great. They talk about you a lot.
"Oh…"
What's wrong?
"It's nothing. Say, I gotta go now. Josh is here. Bye Kanata."
Ok. Bye Miyu. I miss you.
"… Yeah."
Beep.
Baby
just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
Baby just close your
eyes
I can't take the sorrow
Baby just walk away
You
know I can't stay
There's no easy way to say goodbye
So baby
just say goodnight
I just made a big mistake. A huge one. I should never have called her.
I slumped down a chair and sighed continually. In my mind, I see Miyu in the arms of another man. Such a sight. I can't handle such a painful sight.
It hurts.
I went outside to the place where Miyu and I would usually sit to stare at the full moon.
Wonderful, a full moon is out today.
Why is it so painful now? Is this regret because I didn't confess sooner? No, it wouldn't have made any difference. She'd still be there in America. She'd still have left us. She'd still forget about us.
"What?!" I slammed my hand on the table. I see her hardened features tremble for a moment. "A-Ah. That's what I said."
"What do you mean you're leaving tomorrow morning?!"
"It means it as it is. Mom called two weeks ago to tell me that I'll be going back to America… permanently."
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I tried to constrain my anger and disbelief.
"I tried." She looked down sadly.
I sighed and the hugged her. "Kanata?" she asked in a surprised tone.
"Shut up. It's my fault I didn't listen to you." I murmured.
She hugged back and buried herself on the crook of my neck.
"What are we going to do?" she said.
"It's alright."
That night, she slept inside my room. We laid down facing each other.
"Sleep tight." I say as I brushed a few strands of loose hair. Her eyes stare at me with a glaze of tears threatening to fall.
"Don't cry." I soothed.
"I won't."
"I'll miss you."
"I won't." she said this with tears falling from her eyes. I held her tighter, honestly hoping that she'll never leave.
"Even if you won't, I will." Kissing her forehead, I let her cry on my chest.
"Do I really have to say goodbye?"
"No. Please don't. There will never be a goodbye between us."
"Alright, then let it be this way."
"Close you eyes. Sleep." I bade her as our eyes looked.
"I wish I'd dream of you tonight." She yawned.
"Me too…"
"Good night, Miyu."
"Good night Kanata."
Baby
don't say goodbye
Baby just close your eyes
And dream,
tomorrow's on its way
So
just walk away
The next morning, when I woke up, Miyu was already gone.
I rushed to her room.
There was nothing left inside except her futon
One more thing, she left the group picture.
Why?
Baby
just say goodnight
I'll be gone tomorrow
Baby just close your
eyes
I can't take the sorrow
Baby just walk away
You know I
can't stay
There's no easy way to say goodbye
So baby just say
goodnight
Is this the way cruel fate tells me that she really has left behind everything? Is she really doing her best to forget about her life here? Is she really trying to forget about me?
I could've waited for her, let her say the word.
No, I am waiting for her.
I know she'll never forget.
It was 3:58. I looked at the moon once more. Maybe this time I'll be finally be able to sleep, if lucky enough, I'll even dream of her.
I can't lose hope now.
We've through so much already. If she has given up, then I'll go on for her. It's alright.
We never said goodbye.
There will never be a goodbye between us.
I stand up from my seat walked back to my room. The only sound I hear is the thumping of my feet. The darkness is illuminated by the full moon.
I slide my door closed then lay myself of the futon.
There's still time.
It's never too late.
She still has not said goodbye.
I will never say so.
I will wait. I will hope. One day, I will be able to say what I feel to her.
But for now…
"Goodnight, Miyu."
Baby just say goodnight
Thank you for reading.D
Reviews will be gladly accepted. No flames.
Internet is broken so it took me 4 days just to upload this story. Wow. Hahaha.
Oh well, that's that.
Hey, you should try reading Fantasy Wings Stories, they're like awsome! D
MiyuKanata FOREVER!
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