I do not own any Marvel characters named herein, and am only using them for a tale meant for entertainment purposes only.
Iron Man: Issues
By LJ58
His instinctive reaction might have been the right one at any other time.
Tonight, though, Tony Stark was celebrating his birthday. Ironically, he was doing it alone, with a bottle, and a private brooding session in his villa after Pepper had stormed out yet again. This time promising never to return. Again.
Still, he thought she might just be serious this time.
He was more than halfway through his celebratory bottle, assuring himself he was not falling off the wagon, but only celebrating, when the far wall of his recently rebuilt house exploded. Again.
He groaned, and that was when he made his critical mistake.
He leapt instinctively for his newest armor, and activated the nano-weave initiators that had him almost instantly encased in the protective embrace of the world's most powerful combat armor to date. Even as he tried to move to face whatever threat was coming at him now, and at the most inopportune time. Again. He belatedly recalled a failsafe Pepper had talked him into installing not long ago.
He had gotten a little tipsy a while back, and taken a new armor for a test flight to impress some girl he didn't even remember now, and Pepper had been furious. The press hadn't helped. Still, it was hard to ignore when Iron Man slammed into a family's pool, and had to be pulled out by a tow truck since he was too inebriated to stand up.
Pepper had put her foot down, and at the time, he agreed to put a new start-up sequence into the armor that would keep him from using them while intoxicated.
Even as he felt the armor hum with power, he saw the red lights flashing across his heads-up display, and grimaced.
"Jarvis, I need a bypass on the incapacitation program."
"I'm sorry, sir," the AI replied evenly. "You strictly forbade me to allow you that access when your blood alcohol level was over .02. According to the scans, and your current state, you are likely closer to….."
"Jarvis, we are under attack," he hissed, and grimaced as he felt something else beyond his own concerns for his house suddenly gain his attention.
His scanners showed something coming down diagonally from the sky, and coming fast. Only what truly concerned him now was something more immediate as he stood there trapped inside the immobilized armor.
And far more personal.
He watched the faint smear on the virtual display close, and saw another armored copycat flying right at him, a garish paint job passing for upgrades on the pretender's armor.
Tony's most urgent thought as the armored madman rushed him, glowing fists raised, was that he probably shouldn't have drunk so much. Not just because his damned armor wasn't coming online, and he was about to be beaten like a helpless geek back in high school. No, but also because he didn't have any way to relieve himself just then, and he knew he was about to be doubly embarrassed.
Pepper was right, he thought just before that first impact. He really did drink too much!
End…..