Oneshot about Jaegers with sentience: in this fic, the jaegers can download their minds into smaller, human size androids.
Rules and guidelines for Rangers and the Jaegers
Religh could not believe what was posted on his quarter's door. This had to be a bad joke. Maybe it was from Chuck or the triples. Or even from Striker Eureka, who everybody in the base knew he enjoyed to torture the newcomers every time he could. (Herc was the only one who could stop his pranks. Chuck was the one who gave him the ideas.)
But after he ran into Herc a few minutes later, he knew it wasn't a joke. Nope. Because those dammed papers were attached to every single door of the Ranger quarters. But they were also inside the cafeteria, the meeting room, the science lab... Even in the hangar for the Jaegers and the recharge room for the androids. With the official symbol of the Pan Pacific Defense Corps.
Pentecost did it. Yep, after the last fight between Gipsy and Striker, Cherno Alpha punch on the wall and the triplets involving Crimson in some of their monthly pranks… He did it.
Rules and guidelines for Rangers and the Jaegers
Oh Crap. He wondered how Mako and the other Rangers would react after reading it. And their Jaegers, would be probably now reading the brief. Oh-uh…
To the mechanics, cafeteria staff, scientists, supports system members, soldiers, Rangers and Androids within the Shatterdome Hong Kong. Due the lasts "incidents" during the past years with the androids and members of the crew, the head direction and the Marshall have decided to enforce rules to prevent future disagreements, for the physical (and sanity) welfare of the human workers. Therefore, NO Jaegers, humans or Rangers shall ever avoid these basic rules. In each one, we add one small example which we hope it will NEVER happen again.
Signed
Marshall Stacker Pentecost.
Dammit. In this moment, Gipsy Danger was reading the rules and her mechanical optics could not process it. These rules were completing illogical. Alongside her, Stiker Eureka was with his mechanical mouth open, while cursing in every language his processor had stored in his short period of being activated. Cherno Alpha was breaking one of the rules, cursing in English while Crimson Typhoon eyes were focused on reading (AGAIN) the paper.
Striker stopped cursing and went out of the room, maybe to look for Chuck or Herc to demand why they have to follow those ridiculous rules. Cherno Alpha and Crimson Typhoon went after him and she too followed them.
She found then with a small group of humans, gathered around one of the paper. She also saw the other Rangers, Mako and Raleigh. They were whispering things, someone laughed, others agreed with the rules, others complained and the Jaegers were about to have a tantrum.
Gipsy tried to put an angry face, almost pouting, with her nearly stoic facial features. Even with her upgrade android body, it was still difficult to mimic human´s expressions. That´s when the Raleigh eyes posed onto a small black marker, lying onto a table. He smirked.
Gipsy gave him a playful smile.
_._
Pentecost sighed when he saw the extra letters onto the paper.
Well. If Pentecost is going to fill the base with these papers –even in our quarter's doors- we have the right to write down our OWN arguments and opinions about it. Sign: Rangers and Jaegers within the Shatterdome Hong Kong.
Gipsy Danger is not allowed to fight Striker Eureka. Not matter the reason or situation.
Example: The last event ended with a broken chair, a broken table and seriously damage to Striker Eureka android body. Striker Eureka is also forbidden to use "sexual" remarks about Raleigh and Gipsy Danger relationship.
G: In my defense, he implied that my sexual appealing to Raleigh avoid a perfect drifting with Mako Mori.
Ch: In her defense, Gipsy Danger is a more capable fighter than Striker Eureka.
Crim: I never see an android lift the double of its own weight and used it as a projectile.
Striker Eureka is not allowed to play pranks involving the cleaning facilities for the soldiers or Rangers.
Example: In the past month, Striker convinced his fellows Jaegers the cleaning facilities were under repairs, so new bathrooms were deployed for their Rangers. While looking for their pilots, Crimson ended into the ladies room while Gipsy ran into the men's room, because of Striker´s directions. No furthermore comments.
Raleigh: Thanks Chuck. I couldn't use the bathroom because Aleksis took control of the showers, so his wife could use them without "interruptions."
Wei, Jin: Cherno was there too. It was impossible to pass that Russian wall. And the bathroom smelled like rose scent for hours.
Sasha: It was an improvement. I hope you have given to your Jaeger´s "the talk" after this incident.
Wei, Hu: I bet you gave them the visua…
(Scrawl)
Chuck: I didn't tell him the idea.
Herc: Yes, you did.
Do not hit, injure or threat any members or associates from the Kaiju cult. They are humans and therefore, they can't be injured unless they threat the welfare of the pilots or civilians (pilots can also defend their Jaegers, if the robots are threatened with a lethal weapon.)
Example: Be nearly sued due Striker Eureka and Crimson Typhoon, threw and locked a man into a trash can, after he covered Crimson Typhoon with Kaiju blood during a press meeting. Their irrational act only intensify the argument Jaegers should not have sentience, that may cause decommission and further deactivation of their A.I.
Crim: He threw me Kaiju blood! It took hours to wash it away. I could have infected my pilots!
Striker: I just throw the man into a trash can. No big deal.
G: I can't believe I am saying this, but I agreed with the Jerk. The trash can was a good payback.
Ch: They didn't allow me to break his arm.
Crimson Typhoon is not allowed to use or play with the sports gear.
Example: Crimson Typhoon deflating 5 basketballs including a soccer ball, putting the blame on Max, the bulldog pet.
Crim: I kill the basketball ball. I am not allowed to approach or touch any round gear, anymore.
Striker: You blamed Max! Serves you right!
Do not hassle the Jaegers with marketing (toys, posters, shoes, tv program, bed covers, etc) especially with the ones produced in Japan.
Example: The chibi toy dolls… No further details.
Sasha: I have one of those Chibis Jaegers in my room.
Aleksis: …
Mako: I have the complete collection.
Raleigh: I have no comments about it.
Wei: They have destroyed any trace of masculinity with that oversized doll of Crimson!
Raleigh: Actually, those chibi dolls are fun. Using the chibi Striker against Newt´s Kaiju action figures collection is very amusing.
Newt: It was you! I took me months to reorganize my action figures!
Herc: I feel I am the ONLY adult here.
Jaegers are not allowed to use any tactical or movement from the Toho movies, Power Rangers or TV program involving giant robots.
Example: Too many to write down on this paper.
Mako: Cherno is the only one who has not displayed any of those signature moves.
Chuck: Because one of his pilots didn't have a normal childhood.
"Russian insult"
Newton Geiszler is NEVER allowed to bring any LIVING Kaiju specimen to the base, without the supervision or authorization from a high command.
Example: Geiszler collected without authorization a living Skinmite after the last Kaiju attack. The animal escaped the container, roamed free around the halls; biting 23 persons and making Jaegers run into their full battle mode. The situation ended when Raleigh Becket cut it in half with the firefighter axe, after the parasite attempted to attack Choi. However, the emergency left 23 personal in the infirmary, 2 Jaegers with damage on their limbs and a sense of paranoia around the base.
G: How much time it will require to produce an axe for my battle body?
Raleigh: We are not repeating this event, EVER.
Cherno: That insect bit my leg joint.
Crim: You nearly rip of my second left arm, Striker.
Striker: I was trying to help you.
Herc: How no one saw the parasite? It had the size of Max!
Chuck: Max was the hero of the day. He kept that insect away, don't you little guy?
Aleksis: Remember me to punch the nerd´s face.
Cherno Alpha is not allowed to insult using the English language.
Example: Too many to count.
Striker Eureka is not allowed to… engage a conversation with sexual remarks and "hitting" phrases to Gipsy Danger. Attempts of kissing are included.
Example: One event with Striker placing his hand in an impropriate manner to Gipsy Danger, while bragging about his Kaiju kills. Ranger Raleigh witnesses the interaction, engaging a fight with the android… then Ranger Chuck get into the fight to defend his Jaeger´s integrity. No further details.
Raleigh: Chuck, I swear God I will break your arm and then yours Jaegers arms if he ever lays his hand on Gipsy´s knee again.
Chuck: I didn't know you were an overprotective dad, Raleigh. Really, I don't understand why Striker did that.
Herc: You are bad influence to your Jaeger, boy.
Striker: It was a natural reaction. I just wanted to impress the ladies.
G: What ladies? I am the only female unit here.
Crims: May I mention his previous attempts to "hit" on the previous female Jaeger´s units.
Cherno: Even with the human female workers.
Striker: That's rumor around the base.
G: You are sick, kiddo.
# based on the rule number 9, workers aren't allowed to imply a loving relationship between Gipsy Danger and Striker Eureka.
Mako: Also, Chuck and I weren't involved into any relationship, so stop putting the blame on me for Striker´s actions.
Raleigh: Blame Chuck, he is the ladies' man.
Coyote Tango is NOT the second dad, uncle or grandpa of Ranger Mako Mori. Neither Gipsy Danger is his daughter.
Example: Rumors.
Coyote Tango: I may not have my battle mode unit and my Android body may be under the tag of "rusty"… but I know 205 moves to incapacitate without serious harm a human body… including an android. So, no more rumors.
G: Thanks Dad.
Bulldog Max is forbidden to enter the Jaeger´s hangar.
Example: He marked his territory there.
Cherno: I will skin alive that dog.
Striker: You do that and you won't be able to WALK ever again.
G: He didn't mark his territory on my leg. He only licked my face.
Crims: He is a ladies man… like someone around here.
The Jaegers are not the children of their pilots. Especially to Cherno Alpha and Gipsy Danger.
Example: Every time the Kaidonovsky are harassed by other workers, implying Cherno Alpha is their child.
Sasha: I am used to those comments. But my mate is not a very patient man.
Mako: They have started implying that Gipsy is my child with Raleigh. It is very annoying.
Raleigh: Please. Don't do that. Or Pentecost will skin me alive.
Do not scare or terrorize the Jaeger´s with toys, sounds and objects that represent a Kaiju. Remember that their AI is very unstable, especially to traumatic experiences. NO MORE JOKES, PRANKS INVOLVING KAIJU.
Example: Someone attached a Knifehead toy to Gipsy Danger visor, when her AI was resting in her full battle mode robot. It wasn't funny; it was extremely dangerous and irrational act. The guilty will be expelled immediately from the Shatterdome.
G: I agree with it…
Striker: We have to jump onto her after she screamed and her AI went mad. Way to traumatize a fellow mate.
Cherno: When the humans found the guilty, can I broke his arms?
Striker: Left me one for me to break.
Crims: Someone glued a Kaiju toy to my visor last year. It wasn't cool… I destroyed five contenders before my pilots calm me down.
Raleigh: No, guys. You can't break his arms… that´s my job.
For the last time. Stop teasing Jaegers and vice versa about they will become mad or override by their sentience, creating a revolution like in Issac Asimov literature or tv programs.
Example: #Stiker, Crimson and even Cherno… do not involve Gipsy Danger in your jokes. It is enough with you three.
Chero: I will never betray my pilots trust on me.
Stiker: Is very funny to scare humans with the monotone voice.
Herm: I calculate that Jaegers are 3-10 possibilities to turn into some of Asimov theories, developing an artificial mind that could copy 100% the human brain. We can see the strong influence of human minds on the Jaegers, due the drift process with their pilots companions, creating "bonds" almost identical to human emotions, which is almost impossible due
"Herman n, you have your own blackboard. Don't write down your theories here!"
No harassing Geiszler or Gottlieb work. Forbidden to enter to their laboratory.
Example: Stealing the Kaiju specimens and hiding them in various sectors of the base.
G: I am glad I miss that…
Cherno: Was fun.
Striker: Let´s do it again.
Crims: Yeah!
Humans including Rangers: NO.
G: Cherno is supposed to be older than me… Why I am the ONLY adult here?
Mako: You are a female unit. Females are more mature than male.
Raleigh: Males can very mature too.
G: Says the guy who helped ANOTHER Jaeger to GLUE some chairs in the cafeteria.
No show off in front of the press, visitors or school trips.
Example: You know what I mean.
G: What?
Raleigh: You let the children climb UP to your shoulder, Gip.
Striker: And you say I was irresponsible. There´s a big difference between showing off and letting children for elementary school climb up to your shoulders and give them a ride in yours hands.
G: Says the guy who poses on camera.
Pentecost should have expected this (But not from his OWN previous Jaeger partner and daughter). He had seen what the other crew members have done, after Choi bring him the document while checking the Kaiju advances in the LOCCENT Mission center. Write down with a black marker, with lines crossing a few words and some small drawings (maybe from Newt) his last official document had been vandalized.
He shook his head and head off to the meeting room. He had to scold Gipsy Danger and Striker Eureka for breaking the rule # 1.
Done! Reviews, please!