A/N: Hi! this is my first venture into the world of Host stories. This idea wouldn't leave me alone, even though I've got a billion others that just won't let themselves be written. I figured if I write it, it will leave me alone, and I can move on to other projects. I've never written from 1st person before, so not sure how well this flows. A lot of the dialogue is from the bonus chapter, I just wanted to show Ian's side of things, his thoughts and emotions during his conversation with Melanie. I started with him, but I also have chapters for Melanie and Jamie right now. Depending on if anyone likes this, I'll add theirs, and maybe more if inspiration strikes.

Sadly, don't own. Just playing with the characters a bit because they just wouldn't leave me alone. Please don't sue, you won't get anything good from me. lol

Anyways, here you go... Hope you like it.

I rolled over, reaching out to Wanda, wanting to hold her in my arms more. I know we can figure out a solution, I won't let her leave me, I thought. My hands touched only the bed, a pillow. I sat up quickly, looking around the small room. Where is she? Where would she go? I replayed the events of last night in my head as I tried to figure out where she would go in the middle of the night. I truly love you, Ian. Her words echoed in my head and I suddenly realized what that was, a goodbye. She was trying to tell me goodbye. Jumping out of bed, I rushed for the door, throwing it out of the way before running down the tunnels.

Why did she sneak out? How could she do this to me, to us? The questions ran through my head as I moved, though I already knew the answer. She thought she was doing the right thing, by sacrificing herself. I prayed as I rushed through the dark tunnel, prayed that I wasn't too late. I turned the corner, and someone slammed in to me, making me falter. Wanda! Thank God, I'm not too late! I started to smile down at her, but paused. Something was wrong, she was different. She… wasn't Wanda, not anymore. I was holding Melanie in my arms. I released her and stepped back, my world crumbling. No! Too late, I didn't save her. The words repeated in my mind as I realized I lost my love, my partner. I stood frozen, staring at this stranger in shock.

Her voice broke through my shock, rambling, sounding so unlike my Wanda. "She's fine. She's in a tank. We'll get her a new body. She'll be fine, she's fine," Melanie whispered.

A tank? She's still here at least. I would have killed Howe if he had already taken her to be shipped off to some other planet. I see Melanie reaching out to me, then stopping. I realized she was almost as upset as me. I went to touch her, comfort her, but I stopped myself. I couldn't hold this stranger. I needed Wanda, she needed me.

"Do you want to go to her?" Melanie asked, stopping my internal debate. "She's with Doc."

I didn't say anything, just began walking, my body moving without thought towards Wanda. My thoughts ran wild as I moved, thinking about the last few days. Melanie made me falter when she broke the silence.

"I couldn't stop her."

Couldn't? "Did you want to?" I spoke carefully, trying to keep my emotions even.

"Yes."

I was surprised by this. "Why?"

"Because, she's my best friend," she answered.

"I wondered about that." Of course Melanie had liked her, who wouldn't? I could tell she was confused by my answer, so I explained. "I wondered if anyone who really knew her could not love her. You knew her every thought." You know her better than I do, I added silently. I wondered how close they were.

"Yes, I love her."

I could tell she was speaking the truth, heard the honesty in her words. "But you must have wanted your body back?"

"Not if it meant losing Wanda."

I froze again, her words surprising me. She truly is the purest soul. Even Melanie, trapped inside her own mind, didn't want to lose her. Suddenly I was moving faster. I had to be with her, to make sure she didn't leave. My voice surprised me, it was more of growl. "She is not leaving this planet."

Melanie told me that was never her intention, and I slowed again, confusion filling me. I stopped completely as Melanie explained Wanda's plan, how she had lied, wanted to die instead of stay with me. Confusion faded away as anger took its place. "How could she think of doing that to me?" Why, why would she want to die? I didn't understand the crazy idea; I barely listened as Melanie tried to explain Wanda's thoughts. Her words didn't take away the horrible pain that I had. "I didn't think she was such a quitter," I snapped.

Melanie snapped back at me, angry. She tried to explain that Wanda blamed herself for Wes, that she was so torn, didn't think she could live, but not wanting to leave this world.

"But she didn't have anything to do with that," I argued, but she cut me off.

"Try telling her that!" Melanie paused, taking a deep breathe, and then spoke again. "Then having to face the seeker. It was tougher than you know. But more than any of that, loving you while loving Jared. Loving Jamie and thinking he needed me more than her. Loving me. Feeling like she was hurting us all just by breathing. I don't think you can understand what that was like for her. You can't imagine how she… she," Melanie cut off, her words clearly painful.

I thought about everything she said, trying to understand what Wanda must have been feeling. How trapped she must have felt by all her conflicting emotions. "I think I know what you mean." I tried to let my anger go. It wasn't Wanda's fault she was so selfless, it was part of why I loved her. We continued walking again, and I listened to her tell me about how Jared had followed them, how he saved Wanda. I felt a stab of pain at that. Jared had known she was lying, had known something was wrong, but I had missed it. I slept while she went off to her planned death. I hated myself in that moment, cursing my stupidity. Then another thought occurred to me. "Do you think she'll be angry with us when she wakes up?" She had wanted to die, wanted to stop existing, and we were ignoring her wishes. Not that I cared. I wasn't going to let her die, even if she hated me. Melanie snorted at that ridiculous idea. "Unhappy, then?" I don't want her miserable because we've forced our love on her.

"She'll be fine."

Since we were talking so freely now, I had more questions, more worries. Nobody could answer them for me like Melanie. She was more talkative than Wanda. "What you said before, about her loving all of you, and me…" I trailed off, not sure if I wanted to finish my question, afraid of the answer.

"Yes?" She prompted.

I decided to just get it over with. "Do you think she really does love me, or was just responding to the fact that I love her? Wanting to make me happy?" I tensed, not sure I wanted the answer. "I'm only asking because I don't want to be a burden when she wakes up." Her silence only made me panic more. "Don't worry about hurting my feelings. I want the truth."

Finally, she spoke, telling me she doesn't think I'd understand Wanda's feelings. I tell her to tell me anyways. "It's strong, Ian. The way she feels about you is something else. She loves this world, but so much of the reason she couldn't leave was you. She thinks of you as her anchor. You gave her a reason to finally stay in one place after a lifetime of wandering."

Oh. I released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. "Then that's alright." I felt so relieved; the panic was gone, replaced by joy. Now I just had to get her back so I could show her how much I loved her. "Don't rush." I explained when Melanie questioned my comment. I didn't want them to rush in getting a new body for Wanda. I wanted her to be happy, in a body perfect for her. "I can wait," I told her. I could hear the surprise in her voice when she questioned my not going with them. "You know what she wants. I would rather be here with her." Finally, I see the light ahead, and we enter the room. Jared is leaning against a cot, on it is a small silver container with Wanda safely inside. I picked her up carefully, letting a small sigh escape as the emotions all run through me: relief, love, and as I saw Melanie and Jared embrace, a twinge of jealousy that I was without love so they could have theirs. Soon. We'll be together again soon, Wanda.

Well, there you go. I have 2 more chapters from Melanie's and Jamie's viewpoints that I'll share if anyone is interested.
I always love reading what you all think. Good, terrible? Please, let me know, so I know what is good, and what I need to work on.

Hope you liked it :)