Hisoka: is chewing on her pen
Tsuzuki: Aw! You're so cute when you're thinking about things, Hi-chan!
Hisoka: turns around and smiles at Tsuzuki Well, arigato. But I am thinking about yet another story.
Tsuzuki: Really?!? It's been a while since you last wrote one.
Hisoka: I know. My life has been going up and down, so I hardly had anytime to sit down and write a story.
Tsuzuki: What about that story you were going to write based on you and Lisa-chan?
Hisoka: looks at Tsuzuki . . . . Maybe I will pull that out of my pile and start working on it! goes to her pile of unstarted stories and tries to get it out, but the pile falls on top of her Itai!!!
Tsuzuki: OO; Are you okay, Hi-chan?
Hisoka: lifts her hand out from under the pile Got. . . it. . .
Tsuzuki: pulls Hisoka out of the pile
Hisoka: Arigato, Tsu-san. (My nickname for Tsuzuki) cleans the dust from her skirt Can you do the disclaimer for me, please? does the puppy eyes look
Tsuzuki: Awww!!! For you, I'll do anything! clears his throat Hi-chan doesn't own any of the Yami no Matsuei characters including me, but she does own the plotline for this story; since it is based on her real life. Hi-chan does have a stalker from her past, and she is considering marrying her stalker as well; even though Hi-chan is still a lesbian and is still in love with Lisa.
Hisoka: Thank you so much, Tsu-san. Here you go. hands him a cookie
Tsuzuki: Yay! takes the cookie and starts to eat it
Hisoka: It makes me happy to see you act this way, Tsu-san. On with the story!
Tsuzuki: is still eating the cookie Hi-chan recommends listening to 'Ghost Of You And Me' by BBMak (which she also doesn't own) for this chapter. If she gets enough reviews, then maybe Hi-chan will write more chapters to it.
( ) Tsuzuki and my thoughts. Sorry about that!
Can This Be Real Or A Lie?
"Aren't you having fun yet, Soka-chan? You needed to come out of your deep depression after getting your heart broken by Tsuzuki-san." said Minase Hijiri as he was looking at the young blonde Shinigami who was staring out at the dancing crowd that had started to gather on the club's dance floor, and Hisoka had to sigh deeply as he got up from the seat. "Sorry, Hijiri-san. But apparently you are still too young to understand what Tsuzuki's actions did to me." replied Hisoka as he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and started to walk out of the noisy club; leaving an confused and worried violinist staring at the Shinigami's back. (Tsuzuki: Aw, poor Soka-chan! Hisoka: I wonder what Hijiri is thinking about, don't you Tsu-san?)
As Hisoka was walking down the street back towards his empty apartment, his emerald eyes had started to fill up with tears as Hisoka's mind once again remembered the last time that he and Tsuzuki had seen each other before the young Shinigami revealed his deep feelings towards the older Shinigami. Even though it had been at least three months since the two had spoken to each other, Hisoka still yearned for Tsuzuki to be there when his nightmares of Muraki disturbed his slumber, and to be able to feel safe and secure in his partner's arms when Hisoka felt like he was weak about himself. (Tsuzuki: Three months?!? That's a long time for anyone! Hisoka: It felt like more after Lisa and I ended our friendship. . .) "Tsuzuki. . . Why didn't you return my feelings? I thought that we were meant to be together as a couple; or at least that's what you told me all those times. . ." whispered Hisoka as he lifted his head up to look at the Tokyo night sky. (Hisoka: Lisa once left me a offline message when I was away in New Orleans; and she said 'don't ever give up, who knows one day we might be together.' Not sure if she actually meant it or not. Tsuzuki: hugs Hi-chan)
Flashback; Hisoka's Apartment (Hisoka: We're acting like that Babbit from 'Kodacha', this one series that I love so much. Babbit: Hello everyone! Tsuzuki: 00)
Hisoka was getting nervous as he tried to calm his nerves while Asato Tsuzuki was sitting on the young Shinigami's couch, and Hisoka had brought out a tray that was filled with two cups of green tea as he sat down next to Tsuzuki. "Are you okay, 'Soka-chan? You seem rather nervous today." replied Tsuzuki as he placed an hand on the young Shinigami's shoulder that caused for Hisoka's heart to skip a few beats as he closed his emerald eyes and mentally prepared himself. " I have a confession to reveal to you, Tsuzuki-san. Ever since the two of us first met in Nagasaki, I have started to develop deep feelings for you. Feelings that first started as friends, but then as we became closer those feelings turned from friendship into a crush." said Hisoka as he reached for one of Tsuzuki's hands and grasped it tighter in his own.
"What are you trying to say, 'Soka-chan? I am not entirely sure of how to decipher your words." replied Tsuzuki as he continued to look at Hisoka without letting go of his partner's hands while Hisoka brought his face closer. "I am trying to say. . . that I love you, Asato Tsuzuki. I have always loved you, but I was so afraid that you wouldn't return the same affections towards me." said Hisoka as he placed his lips onto the older Shinigami's mouth. Tsuzuki's violet eyes widen in surprise and shock as he pushed Hisoka away from him, and the young Shinigami looked at his partner with a sense of confusion in his shaken emerald eyes. "I am sorry, Hisoka-chan. But I am afraid that I don't feel the same way about you; I care for you as a friend." replied Tsuzuki as he got up from the couch and started for the door; leaving Hisoka to sit on the floor in tears.
End Flashback (Hisoka: Babbit, please leave us for now. Babbit: But you called my name and- is cut off by Tsuzuki stuffing him in a bag)
"I care for you as a friend." Those words still haven't left Hisoka's heart even after he and Tsuzuki had ended their friendship over three months, and yet the young Shinigami knew that the violet-eyed Shinigami probably forgot all about Hisoka since that incident had occurred between the two of them. "I am all alone in the world. And I knew it was true when Muraki raped me against my will that night." said Hisoka as he placed the jean coat on the back of the chair while the young Shinigami walked into his bathroom and turned the water on; while Hisoka started to strip his clothes off of his body. As the young Shinigami made his way into the warm water filed tub, his emerald eyes looked at the mirror reflection of the blonde boy; and Hisoka saw that the scars on his left arm hadn't yet healed from the times that he had tried suicide, and Hisoka knew that his healing powers were taking very slow due to the fact that the young Shinigami stopped using the ability since Tsuzuki crushed his heart. 'Not like it really matter that much anymore. In fact, my life is pretty empty after you left me alone, Tsuzuki.' thought Hisoka as he placed a hand on top of the recent fresh suicide cut. (Hisoka: I still have those scars on the same arm.)
While Hisoka was drying his hair with a towel, the phone in the kitchen rang as the young Shinigami picked it up with a free hand. "Moshi, moshi; Kurosaki residence." answered Hisoka as he placed the towel on his head, and he placed an hand on the side of his hip as the blonde Shinigami listened to the other voice on the phone; which turned out to be Hijiri. "I am sorry for the things that I said at the club earlier, Hijiri-san. But at this time I am unable to actually enjoy myself until my heart has fully healed or unless Tsuzuki returns to me." replied Hisoka as he leaned against the sink, not fully understanding why he had just said that Tsuzuki would ever want to return to him. The older Shinigami had made it perfectly clear that Tsuzuki only cared for Hisoka as a friend and nothing more; but yet there was a part of Hisoka's broken heart that still hoped for Tsuzuki to return in his life.
"But what if he doesn't return back to you, Soka-chan? You already told me that he made it clear that Tsuzuki's feelings towards you are only a level of friendship and nothing else. Why is your heart still clinging to a false hope of love?" asked Hijiri as the blonde Shinigami had to sigh while his emerald eyes spotted a picture of him and Tsuzuki that was taken at Hisoka's birthday party just days before the young Shinigami revealed his deep feelings for Tsuzuki, and Hisoka felt that his heart was breaking more as he walked over to the picture and placed it down on the table. "That's a risk I'm willing to take, Hijiri-san. Right now I need to get some sleep for tomorrow because I have to go to work." replied Hisoka as he said his goodbyes to the young violinist and hung up the phone, and before leaving the kitchen Hisoka picked up the photo that he had turned over earlier; his emerald eyes filling up with tears as Hisoka held the frame close to his body. "Tsuzuki. . . I really miss you so much, and yet I know that you don't think of me anymore." cried Hisoka as he slipped down on his knees and allowed for the tears to fall; not even knowing that someone was standing outside of his apartment. (Tsuzuki: Who is standing outside? Could it be Muraki? Hisoka: I am sure that I will reveal it in the next few chapters)
The Next Day
Hisoka walked into the Ministry with a tired face as the empathy Shinigami passed by a concerned Wakaba. "Are you okay, 'Soka-chan? You look like you didn't get much sleep last night." commented the young priestess as Hisoka turned around to face Wakaba while the young empath had to fake a smile in order to hide the pain that was starting to hurt once more in his left arm. "Yea. I am a little tired, because of the fact that I was worried about the cherry blossom tree on my nightstand that Tsuzuki gave to me for my birthday." replied Hisoka as he sighed within his mind when he saw that Wakaba had smiled, and the young Shinigami empath continued walking to the office that he and Tsuzuki had shared since their first case together as partners.
Hisoka: That's about as far as I am going to write so far.
Tsuzuki: Wow! Five pages, and you haven't stopped writing at all since you started.
Hisoka: Well, it's up to you readers to read and review. If I get enough reviews for this story, then I'll start to work on the second chapter. Ja ne for now!