Matt knew what he had to do, there was no doubt about it. He held Caroline delicately and went out of the room. There were too many people for him to get back to his car without being noticed but he tried to keep a low profile anyway. Nick, a school-mate of his, popped out of nowhere just before he got to the parking lot.
"Hey, mate, what happened? Blondie here had too many drinks?"
Matt was quite irritated by the way Nick talked about Caroline but he had to go with it and lie, "Yeeah, man, just get out of here and let me drive her home."
"Look at her, so innocent and all. Nobody would believe me if I told them what an annoying chatterbox she actually is."
"Nick, for God's sake, just go away, okay?" Matt knew he sounded threatening and had to calm down "Please."
"Alright, alright, and what the fuck's going on... I thought you two weren't even together."
But before Matt could say anything, Nick was gone. He let Caroline stand up for a second, supporting her waist with his arm, while opening his car door with the other. He put her gently on his back seat and got in the car himself. While he was driving to her house he thought about his life lately, how everything had messed up despite his attempts to preserve a normal life. He was in the middle of a ghost-hybrid drama and he just had to see his sister go a few weeks ago. No, he actually had to let her go, to send her away. And all of this happening after he died and was barely saved by Bonnie in order to start seeing Vicki's ghost in the first place. Now he was asked to go with Katherine to the homecoming dance and pretend it's Elena he's actually with. They hadn't even properly explained to him why this had to be done. He just knew he didn't have much of a choice between Rebekah and Katherine. It didn't matter. The one girl he would've been happy to go with was lying unconscious on the back seat. This sounded more like a horror story to Matt than the pure reality.
Matt turned his head back just to make sure Caroline was okay. Obviously nothing had changed, but he just had to look. He had to steal one tiny little glimpse of her.
When he arrived at her house, he took her out of the car and tried to wake her so he could ask her for her house keys. He squeezed her hand.
"Care, wake up." His voice was gentle and barely audible.
"What... where are we?" Caroline breathed heavily.
"We're at your house. Everything's... it's alright, okay? Tyler injected you with vervain so you'd be safe at home. Just… just tell me where your keys are and I promise you it will all be alright."
"My keys... they are in my jacket's left pocket. I feel... dizzy." And with that Caroline dozed off again.
Matt took her keys out of her pocket and opened the door, closing it with his foot as he held her in his arms. He walked her to her room, laying her on the bed once they arrived. Caroline scowled in her sleep but didn't wake up. Matt took a blanket out of the wardrobe and after he covered her with it he got on his feet and started walking to the door. He held the handle but instead of opening the door he just stood there, his head leaning on it. He turned around and looked at Caroline. His vulnerable yet strong, childish yet grown-up, breathtaking Caroline. There was regret, bitterness, hope but most of all longing in his eyes. He stepped closer to the bed and after a brief pause he sat down on it.
"You know while I was holding you in my arms tonight I thought of that day, almost a year ago, when you got drunk and I brought you home again. When you held my hand and asked me if I've ever felt as if nobody on this entire planet loves me, when you asked me to stay. I..." he held his breath for a second "I hoped that you would wake up now and do the same. Tell me to stay, tell me to lie next to you and just be here, you know..." he looked at the door, his eyes lit with a vacant glow "But we're not those people anymore, are we? I pushed you away... but I'm still holding on, Care, because I miss you, and I miss you because I love you so much. I don't want you to know that. Because I was the one to tell you we can't be together. Because I see that you're falling for Tyler." Matt gazed longingly at her again "And Tyler, he's as good as a guy can get, and he cares for you so much, too. And I'm selfish and moody and sometimes I just build up walls around me. But you know what? I've always been a loner, Care. Always. People haven't really understood me. Like... ever. My friends, my football team... they have always been there but I haven't. And the only time I haven't felt so lonely has been when I was with you. And still I wouldn't be as good to you as you deserve. I let my insecurities and doubts get in between us so many times. I didn't trust you enough. But hell, I loved you. I still love you, Caroline."
Caroline lay still, clearly asleep. Matt brushed his fingers across her cheek and smiled. It was a painful smile but it was there to prove something. That Matt had changed. The old Matt would've fought for her, told her he still loved her when she was awake. But the new Matt couldn't be that selfish. He just wanted to see her happy. In her own vampire-drama world. The world he thought he resented. That same world he now wanted to be part of, because of her. Because he couldn't let her go, because he couldn't stop thinking about her. But he had to. And he was going to, for Caroline's sake.
Or so he thought.