Lost
Summary: Carly loses one of the most important people in her life… Can Bo help her get her self-esteem back?
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Bo nor do I own Carly, they belong to Ken Corday. If I did own Bo and Carly, Carly wouldn't have gotten screwed over, and Bo wouldn't have been such a dick. Things between them would have had that 1990's feel to it…. That same feel that caused us all to fall in love with them, to begin with.
A/N:Bo and Carly have twins, a little girl whom they named Olivia Michelle Brady, and a little boy, which they named Eli Beauregard Brady. Unfortunately, due to complications, Olivia didn't make it. There is no Nicholas, Melanie, or Ciara, and there will be no mention of any other unnecessary Salemites in this story.
It had been three months since the birth of their twins, and three months since the loss of their baby girl. The pain just seemed to grow worse everyday, and it was taking a toll on their relationship. Bo was doing anything he could think of to keep Carly from beating herself up, but he himself was having a hard time dealing with everything.
Carly was sitting in bed with a sleeping Eli in her arms when Bo walked in. "I'll take him so you can get some sleep."
"He's just so beautiful." Carly said as she looked down at her sleeping son, and lightly ran her hand over his dark hair. "I can't help but wonder what his sister would be like. Would she have green eyes like us, or brown like yours? Would she be a big eater and fussy like her brother, or would she be serene and content?"
By this time, Carly's eyes were beginning to water. Her voice beginning to crack, and it was breaking Bo's heart to see her hurting so badly.
"Carly, you can't do that. You can't look at him, and-"
"I miss her Bo." Unable to keep her tears in check any longer, Carly broke down. "I miss her, and I want her here with me. She's suppose to be here… with us… in my arms."
Sitting on the bed next to the love of his life, and the little boy who looked so much like his mother, Bo wrapped his arms around Carly and tried to sooth her. "Shhh. I know. I miss her too."
After an hour of rocking and comforting Carly, she had finally fallen asleep holding a carefree Eli in her arms. Bo gently removed his son and placed him in his crib, stroking his cheek and rubbing his stomach before returning to his mom.
She hadn't truly gotten any rest since Olivia and Eli were born, but losing Olivia made the idea of resting even harder. She didn't want to risk waking up and finding out that Eli was gone too. She couldn't live with losing another child; she just couldn't do it.
Bo lightly brushed a strand of hair out of her face, and kissed her on the forehead before covering her with a blanket. He looked down at Eli, sleeping and completely unaware of what his parents were going through, one more time before turning on the monitor and leaving the room.
Downstairs, Bo sat on the couch and sighed, while resting his head in his hands. It was so quiet, and the silence was killing him.
He found himself thinking about his family; the day he found out he would be having a baby with his Princess. The day they got the unexpected, yet incredibly amazing news that there would be two more little Brady's coming into the world. The day that was suppose to be one of the happiest days of his life, and the day that broke him like he never knew he could be broken.
After crying himself to sleep, Bo awoke to the shrill screams of his three month old. He ran upstairs to see what was wrong, and found Carly crying and bouncing a very angry little boy; desperately trying to calm him down, but Eli was having none of it.
"What's wrong?"
"I don't know. He's not wet; he's not hungry… I've tried everything, he just keeps crying!"
"Ok. It's ok. Here, let me try. Just relax, he's fine. He'll be fine."
After handing Eli over to Bo, Carly sat on the edge of the bed, sighing dejectedly. "Maybe I'm not cut out for this after all."
"What?" Bo asked with a furrowed brow; looking up at Carly before looking back at the little bundle of joy, which had already began settling down. "You're a great mother Carly, why would you have any reason to think otherwise?"
"I rocked him for twenty minutes, and couldn't get him to calm down… but you… the second you picked him up, he went to sleep. If that doesn't say I suck, I don't know what does."
"You can't base what kind of mother you are off of that. You're tired, and you got upset. Babies can sense fear, and when you tensed up, so did he."
Carly didn't look too convinced, and Bo was more than determined to make his Princess realize that she was the best mother that their kids could have asked for.
After taking a deep breath and releasing it, Bo placed a sleeping Eli back in his crib and walked over to Carly.
Kneeling in front of her and placing his hands on either side of her face, Bo gave Carly the most reassuring kiss he had ever given her.
With both of their eyes still closed, they rested their foreheads together, catching their breath, content to just be.
Bo pulled back and looked directly into a perfect set of emerald eyes, letting a genuine smile creep onto his lips. Never taking his eyes away from hers, he ran his fingers through her hair, lightly stroking it.
"Princess, you are one of the most incredible women that I have ever known, and-"
Carly, not wanting to believe what Bo was telling her, turned away, refusing to look him in the eye.
"Hey," Bo firmly placed his hand back against her face, forcing her to look at him again. "Look at me. Carly, you're an amazing mom. Eli loves you, and he trusts you. I trust you, but I need you start trusting yourself."
"I honestly don't think I can, Bo."
"Why? Why not?"
Bo searched Carly's face for an answer. Any kind of clue as to what she was thinking. Carly just shrugged, gave a slight shake of the head, and said nothing, causing Bo to push just a little harder.
"You want to tell me what's going on inside that pretty head of yours, Princess?" Bo asked, with a look of pure love in his eyes.
In a tearful whisper that was almost inaudible, Carly simply said, "I lost our daughter."
Shocked, and not completely sure of what he had just heard, Bo stared absently at Carly. That wasn't exactly what he was expecting to hear, although, he didn't really know what to expect, he knew it wasn't that.
Carly, noticing that Bo hadn't said anything, broke down and sobbed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Bo."
Not wanting Carly to believe that what she had just said could ever be true, Bo stood up, pulling Carly with him, and embraced her in a tight hug.
He pressed his mouth directly next to her ear, and told her as firmly and lovingly as he could, that what happened to their daughter wasn't her fault, and that she had nothing to be sorry for.
The two of them stayed wrapped in each other's arms for, what seemed like, forever. That wasn't exactly a problem for them, seeing as how, at that moment, they felt as though they needed each other like never before.
After an hour of just holding each other, and Bo whispering words of reassurance in her ear, Carly seemed to have relaxed.
Bo thought it might be a good idea for Carly to take a nice hot bath, just to help her loosen up.
She agreed, and retreated to the bathroom to unwind.
Once the tub was filled with a decent amount of warm, almost hot, water, Carly slipped in, intent on calming down. She noticed she was visibly shacking. She leaned back, and closed her eyes, willing herself to just relax.
Bo was sitting on the floor; he had Eli lying on a blanket on his back, and he was laughing at the loud squeals coming out of that little body.
Carly was standing in the doorway smiling at the sight in front of her, and looking more at ease than she had in the past few months.
Bo turned around, noticing that Carly had come out of the bathroom. "Hey, how was your bath?"
"It was decent, and something I needed to do."
"Yeah? You do any thinking, or did you actually try relaxing?"
Carly laughed quietly, and moved to sit down next to Bo, laying her head on his shoulder. "I tried my best to relax, but my mind insists on running a thousand miles a minute."
Bo picked up Eli, and passed him to Carly, kissing the crown of his head as he did. "Want to tell me what all you were thinking about?"
"It's not important." Carly said, shaking her head and smiling at Eli. "I realized that when I came out the bathroom, and saw my two favorite guys enjoying each other."
"Carly, I was thinking… maybe we could get away for a few days, just the two of us. My mom could watch Eli, and it would give us a chance to talk and let loose for a while."
The way Carly was looking at Bo, he could have sworn he had grown another head.
"No!" Carly yelled. Getting a firm grip on Eli, and holding him tightly against her chest, she stood up. "I'm not going to leave him with your mom, and just walk away for a weekend in the woods."
"Who said anything about the woods?" Bo asked with a smirk, as Carly was lying Eli down on the bed.
Carly turned around, infuriated. "Shut up, Brady! This isn't funny! I'm not going to turn my back on him."
Bo walked up to Carly, and placed his arms around her. "What makes you think, that you taking a weekend away from him, equals you turning your back on him?"
Carly leaned into his embrace. "I just don't want anything to happen to him."
"It won't, Princess. He's going to be fine. I promise."
'Olivia was supposed to be fine too, but look how that turned out.'