Authors Note: This was a request from a friend to use all of the nasty and strange titles that other fanfiction writers have used to label the "forbidden parts" of the body. It's actually quite awful and I hope that you find it hilarious because it's totally not meant to be taken seriously. Also, "boom shakalaka" is a K-pop reference. Feel free to comment on how bad it is!
Cold air blasted through the street as Shion franticly paced about on trying to stay warm. The winter snow had brought clean white into the filth of the slums outside No.6. Shion's snow white hair didn't stand out like it usually did; it blended in perfectly with the pure blanket covering the streets. 'It's so cold!' thought Shion. 'If only Nezumi could have gone food shopping I wouldn't be here now…' After a painful argument with Nezumi, it was decided that Shion should shop more often, to assert his non-existent male dominance of course. Shion's bright large eyes excitedly looked on as the storekeeper gave him his food purchases. He thanked her as he quickly ran home, where warmth could be found.
"Nezumi!" Shion yelled. "I've brought food!" The silence in their home was as deadly as parasite bees. Shion hesitated before pressing on further. For some reason, Nezumi was nowhere to be found. The house looked untouched. The bare walls were just as dirty as before, the furniture still in terrible condition. Even the lamp that Shion left on continued to light without interruption. 'Where is he?' wondered Shion. 'He should be here by now. I hope nothing happened to him!' He proceeded to walk into the living room harmlessly when all of a sudden he heard a crash. Shion ran over to his room, slightly frightened and on edge. Right before crashing into the room door, Shion hestitated. 'What if it's a criminal? Or worse, a killer! I won't be able to defend myself. I'll just have to scare him off then.' With an attack plan ready, Shion burst into the room with a shriek so high Inukashi's dogs could even hear it. "AHHHHHHH!" "AHHHHHH!, oh it's just you." Shion's master plan against the super killer Nezumi failed. "JEEZ, you scared me! I thought you were a killer" yelled Shion. Nezumi's deadly smirk and swagger demeanor greeted Shion too eagerly. His sexy and cool aura filled the whole room while Shion's innocent eyes stared into Nezumi's. "Hm, that's cute. What if I am a killer? Would you still stop me?" Nezumi slowly made his way over to Shion. Something about his steps were more seductive than usual. Of course, Shion didn't take notice. He also didn't take notice of the small bulge where Nezumi's throbbing manliness was. "Of course I wouldn't stop you! How could I? You're my friend!" Shion exclaimed. He still had failed to notice the atmosphere. Nezumi continued to proceed towards Shion, eventually pushing him to the wall. "Whoah, Nezumi! What are you doing?" Shion was mesmerized. The pure lust in Nezumi's eyes was enough to make his organ excited. Shion tried to grasp the situation. It was obvious from Nezumi's position that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Anticipation. Love. Sin. Thoughts rushed through Nezumi's head, but of course, he kept his poker face. Albeit his man carrot was giving his true emotions away, he could care less. "Shion?" "…Yes…?" "Are you ready?" "For wha…djfsklakl". In an instant Shion's statement was muffled by Nezumi forcefully smashing their lips together. The passion and emotion that flowed through them was immeasurable; everything that they had previously felt was nothing compared to the hunger that they had been hiding. Shion accepted Nezumi's pleasure, because even if he tried to escape he knew he was no match against his partner's strength. Their kissing became heated as their pulsing manmeats grinded against each other. A loud moan escaped from Nezumi's mouth, causing Shion to shiver with delight. Somehow, Shion's shirt managed to magically appear on the floor. The rest of his clothes soon followed suit. So did Nezumi's. Both of their holy wands of man juice couldn't take it any longer. "Shion." Nezumi breathed. Their heavy panting could barely be heard, for their hearts were beating too loudly. "Let's go." They then found themselves on top of each other on a bed. "Wait" said Shion hesitantly. "Will this hurt?" I mean, yours is thicker than mine." Nezumi smirked. "Just a bit". They positioned themselves just where Nezumi's mighty man noodle would enter Shion's boy pussy. Without a second thought, Nezumi thrust his lavender man-fruit thing into Shion's anal fortress. Shion screamed in pleasure and pain. Nezumi groaned and continued to trust until…
BOOM SHAKALAKA
It happened. Their mayonnaise cannons exploded, getting hot princely milk on themselves. They groaned in unison. The sex they had was the final step in accepting their feelings. Shion's delicate eyes fluttered up and glanced at Nezumi. He was in the same peaceful state as Shion. He gently smiled. "Hey Nezumi?" "Mhhmm yeah?" "Why did you do all this? I mean, I loved it, but… why now?" Nezumi looked at Shion with eyes full of passion. "It was cold out. I wanted to make it warm. For you".