Then the rainstorm came over me
And I felt my spirit break
I had lost all of my belief you see
And realized my mistake
But time threw a prayer to me
And all around me became still

He smirked when he thought about the song Pansy had been singing for the last week. He still couldn't believe that she was a fan of one of those pathetic chaps muggles dared to call "singers", but he had to admit that it had a very catchy tune.

He tried not to think about the lyrics even though he was out of his dorm, standing under the heavy rain completely drenched because of them. ^And on a freezing cold night ^ he added mentally.

But his subconscious betrayed him again. He would have been stupid if the revealing words hadn't had any effect on him after everything that had happened.

"Or what hasn't happened yet" he said out loud.

For once, he treasured the fact that he was there alone. He was sure that the Hogwarts population ^especially the female part^ would have a panic-attack if they knew he was there without a cloak on. But then he was also convinced that no one would come there and molest him in one of his reflexive moments.

They knew he would not tolerate it.

He wouldn't because he had to think about too many things that needed the solemnity that the school grounds provided. He had even begun to call the place the "realm of silence" something that sounded pretty cynical to him due to its lack of veracity. But he was a Malfoy and he could afford being sarcastic and cynic and a thousand of things he did not want to name at that moment.

There was only one thing he did not possessed yet.

And that was honesty.

The only thing that had the power to save him. It could be his ticket to heaven or at least, it would grant him a calm place to rest. A place where his fears and insecurities could be freed, where he did not had to pretend he was the insensitive prat he used to be.

He wasn't like that anymore.

"I guess pain changes things just like that"

I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Life was the most powerful enemy he has ever had.

If only had he known before...

Had he controlled his temper he wouldn't be standing there regretting the decisions he had being making in the past two years. But he couldn't turn back now, because time was not his ally anymore, it was going to be his warder for the rest of his life.

A bitter tear raced down one of the pale cheeks, a mere shimmer that blend with the moonlight and express all that bottled anger that he wasn't allowed to show. He wanted to shout, to claim that he had been betrayed by everything and that he was going to live like a slave of his destiny.

But he didn't even move.

He only closed his fists as tight as he could. A single drop of blood fell to the ground and stained the pure white snow with a slightly rose tone.

His icy blue eyes were sparkling with unshed tears that he would not let fall. Not now, not ever again. He had only cried once, and his father had taught him that it would be the last time he would do it.

And he still remembered.

Though he wasn't sure that he had kept that promise at night. He had woken up countless nights trying to remind what had upset him so much.

He constantly ignored the dark paths that could still be seen on his pillow.

Through the rainstorm came sanctuary
And I felt my spirit fly
I had found all of my reality
I realize what it takes

He knew what he had to do but he had always relied on his own instincts, the same instincts that froze the moment he discovered that honesty wasn't his only flaw.

Ironically, the only thing he had never needed was.

'Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, loves is what I need to help me know my name

But how could he know that it was that? This aching must be something physical, something more tangible. He could handle material things such as money and possessions, but not this. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to feel it.

It'd make him weak. He'd no longer be the perfect cold gentleman he was taught to be. His whole existence would make a 360º turn and it'd wreck the life he had known until now.

Was it really worth it?

Oh I don't bend [don't bend], don't break [don't break]
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name

Well I try to say there's nothing wrong
But inside I felt me lying all alone
But the message here was plain to see
Believe me…

He closed his eyes and prayed. He didn't believe in anything that resembled a deity and he was not going to change just now.

It was a silent plea to the world.

To the rain that had been washing away all his insecurities and fears.

To that nameless person that had caused all of this.

Because he didn't deserve to be named. He was the personification of the invisible pain that had broken the walls that protected him; he was the whirlwind that shook him out of the deep slumber that had been ruling his life.

It was clear now.

He fingered the envelope he'd written the night before, and he swear he could feel the green just touching the paper with his index finger. It felt soft and raw, smooth and harsh at the same time.

"I need to do it," he whispered to the night.

'Cause I need love, love's divine
Please forgive me now I see that I've been blind
Give me love, love is what I need to help me know my name

Oh don't bend [don't bend], don't break [don't break]
Show me how to live and promise me you won't forsake
'Cause love can help me know my name

"Malfoy? What are you doing here?"

And he didn't need to turn around. It was the same shade of green.

Love can help me know my name.

"Draco"