Untitled (Ramblings of a Woman in Love)
Hey… it's been a long while since I've written something, but after reading a couple of fics, I've felt inspired so I decided to build upon my newfound drive before I lose it and never compose something! Hope you enjoy.
Ages:
Pan – 21
Trunks – 34
Disclaimer: How can I own DBZ if Trunks and Pan aren't together?!
~*~*~*~
I stared into his baby blue eyes and he stared into mine. I was looking extremely unattractive with my glasses on, hair in a messy bun, and creases in my forehead from the pillow. I even think I had those icky eye boogers, then again it was 8 am in the morning and if anyone ever looked gorgeous when they just wake up should get shot. Trunks woke me up out of my bed in my nice apartment to ask me advice on how to ask out Marron, he recently discovered he was in love with her.
"Marron, I've known you for so long and I've thought about us and our friendship and I'd really like to take it to the next level. Will you go out with me?" Trunks practiced
I groaned and made a face at him. "Trunks you sound like some made-for-TV movie! She's supposed to be the love of your life, not Keri Russell on Lifetime!"
"I'm pathetic!" he cried, burying his head into my pillow.
I adjusted my black camisole and patted his head lightly. "No, no, no, Trunks, you're just too worried. Try again in a couple of minutes."
I was used to him coming to me for advice about girls, ever since I turned 16 he decided I was mature enough to hear the psychotic ramblings of a dangerous and extremely horny mind. It used to be really hard to keep a straight face though. Not only did he sound too mushy, too horny, or just plain weird, I discovered I was in love with him about a year ago. No one knows, it's not my style to tell everyone whom I like but I squelched the indelible feeling, I know it's unhealthy for me. I still go out on dates and have sex every now and then, don't get me wrong, I'm not holding out for him, I've never had the fantasy that Trunks would take my virginity. Well, okay, I did, but that's irrelevant right now. I'm just eternally grateful to myself that I've been able to keep the feeling from recrudescing; otherwise I would really be in deep shit.
But, I have to admit, hearing him say that he's in love with Marron… Trunks doesn't use the word "in love" and the last time he did, him and this girl were together for about a year. I was 17 then. Marron is a rather nice girl I suppose, I don't really converse with her. She's blonde, blue-eyed, the classic type of beauty that every man fantasizes about once in their lifetime. She has a small nose, cute features, and a nice rack for a skinny girl. It's only natural that Trunks would be attracted to her. But in love? I have to admit, it disheartened me and lowered my self-worth. I find myself somewhat attractive and, yes, I've known Trunks shorter than he's known Marron, but I've become closer with him. So that's why it irked me that Trunks could fall in love with someone he's known for a long time and his affections couldn't have turned to me. Nothing can be more insane than the incessant ramblings of a woman in love.
But enough of my thoughts, Trunks was looking up with me, with an earnest expression.
"Pan, do you think I'm ugly? What if Marron thinks I'm ugly? What if she's grossed out? What if she doesn't want to be with me? I could potentially be setting myself up for disaster, ruin, despair, depression, no love… Pan! I don't want to ask her out anymore!" he whined, getting up to pace around my room.
Rolling my eyes, I got into a comfortable position and looked up at him. "Trunks, you're sexy. You know it. If you were some random guy I saw on the street, I'd want to have sex with you. Marron likes you, I know it. But, if you want to be a quitter and never ask her out and never find out where it can lead to," I added, letting my voice trail off.
He jumped up and down, as if he found the cure of aids. "You're right, Panny! Okay, how's this to ask her out." He cleared his throat and looked at me as if I was some rare jewel. "Marron, I want to tell you that I find myself liking you more than just a friend and I want to be able to talk to you on a more intimate level. So, will you do me the honor of letting me escort you to dinner Saturday night?"
I sighed dreamily, wishing that I was Marron. "Perfect."
He gave me a kiss on a cheek and I ignored the urge to tilt my head so his mouth could graze my lips. I've become really good at controlling my primal urges. "Thank you, Pan. Well, I have to go and ask her out now then to work. You're the greatest, Panny." He flew out the window and I sighed. I used to feel like shit whenever he would leave to talk to these girls but nowadays, I'm almost apathetic to it. Never mind that tear that was making it's way down my face.
~*~*~*~
As a free-lance writer for Rolling Stones, and a photographer for GQ, I have a fairly easy life with great pay. I could do whatever the hell I wanted, when I wanted to. So I decided to spend my time in the mall with my close friend, Bra Briefs. Being the sister of Trunks and close friend of Marron, she sure was helping me deal by telling me the details of Trunks's declaration of love.
"And Marron looked like she was going to burst out of happiness! I've never see Trunks look so cute before, aren't you happy for them?" she added, eyes sparkling at the idea of love.
I couldn't be angry at Bra, it would be wrong of me. She had no idea of how I felt, but still, deep down, I wanted to slap her. "Aw, how cute." To change the subject, I pointed to Abercrombie and Fitch. "Hey, look, sale."
We went into the store, and as Bra looked around, admiring the clothes, I leaned against the wall and sighed. She liked him. He liked her. How sickeningly perfect. Soon, there'll be a relationship just like him and that other girl, and who knows, it could lead to marriage! I really don't know how I'd be able to keep my cool if Trunks ever married. I walked over to Bra who couldn't decide against what miniskirt to buy.
"Pan, do you think the black one would be too short, or the green one?" she asked, her face scrunching up perfectly. Bra was extremely pretty, she could make normally unattractive faces look glamorous.
"The black one."
She dropped the green one and went straight to the cashier. No doubt about it, she was buying that shirt to show of her ass to Uncle Goten.
After we walked out the store, Bra started to talk to me. "You know, after watching Trunks and Marron start acting oblivious to the world, I started to wonder if I'd ever fall in love. I mean, I date many men, and have fun, but I've never had, that feeling. And, yeah, you and me are pretty young, but still, it would be extremely nice to be able to know that someone simply adores you and I'm slightly jealous of Marron in that sense."
Sweet Kami! This is punishment from the gods because I had sex before married, this must be because Bra is sounding possessed. I began to speak in what sounded like a normal voice. "I wouldn't worry about these things. I mean, yeah I'm a young adult now, but I don't want to rush into these things and such, and besides knowing my luck, I'd fall in love with someone who could never see me in a different light and end up falling in love with someone that I know and ask me for advice." Before I realized it, I blurted out my true feelings. Psychologists would say I rambled this all out because I wanted someone to know and subconsciously, I needed to find a way to say it and make it seem unintentional. I just think I'm fucking mad.
Bra's eyes popped open wide, and before I could even hear her speak, I ran out of the mall, feeling the sunlight stream on my face and I just cried.
~*~*~*~
3 days ago, Trunks was in my room asking me for advice. 3 days ago, I found out Marron liked Trunks also. 3 days ago, I pretty much wailed like a banshee how much I loved Trunks. And today, Trunks wanted me to meet him sharp at 10.30 at Capsule Corp's rose gardens so he could rave about his date. I walked around a bit, I was 5 minutes early. He'll probably forget about you, take Marron up to his bed and fu-. I cut off the horrid mental, cynical critic in me.
But, I was wrong. At 10.30 sharp, he landed softly in front of me, looking oh-so-scrumptious in a black suit, black shirt on with a loosed black tie. He smiled at me and I walked towards him with a small smile on my face.
"So, how was you date?" I inquired, flawlessly sounding calm and cool.
"It was nice, I guess," he said with a smile.
Something was wrong here. "Nice?" He confirmed my question and I shook my head. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on here. This is a girl you said you were 'in love' with, and all you can say is that the date is nice?" I was in disbelief and slightly pissed. I had to deal with him ramble on about Marron every waking minute for 3 fucking days.
He shrugged. "Things changed. She's nice, really hot too," he added with a guy smirk. "But, just not for me. I guess it was rather foolish of me to say I'm in love with her. She's changed a great deal since the last time I've really talked to her. I think I'd go out on a second, maybe even third date with her, but nothing too serious."
I felt like dancing up and down. Trunks would never get married I bet. Yes, he would never be mine but, I wouldn't have to laugh when I feel like crying at their anniversary parties. Kami, I'm such a bitch. "Whoa, I thought you were going to propose to her or something. Like how you wanted to with Jessica," referring to his only serious girlfriend.
Trunks shook his gorgeous head "no". "Nah, she's not my type. You know what I realized, Panny? If I ever was to get married, I'd want it to be with a girl who's my best friend. Someone I could connect to intellectually and have great sex with. Someone like you, I suppose, minus the whole sex part because you and me haven't done that," he added with a laugh.
I seriously think I clinically died right there because my heart must have skipped 10 beats during his revelation. "Some- someone like me?" I squeaked.
He nodded. "Yeah, you're awesome." And with that he ruffled my head.
This is where I could say "I love you". And if everything was to work out perfectly, Trunks would kiss me and say that he loves me too. We would fly to my apartment, make sweet love until the morning, announce our engagement to the family and in 6 months, get married, go to Tahiti for our honeymoon, and pop out lots of babies. But this is where I just smiled. "Hell yes, I am. I'd probably even like the girl you'd date if she was like me." Or me, I silently added.
He chuckled and kissed me on the cheek. "I'm sure you would. Well, at least I'm certain Bra is right. I'm going to get some shut eye now, Goodnight, Panny."
He flew away and 5 seconds later his words registered into my brain. With a huge smile, and remembering to make a mental note to take Bra on a 10,000 dollar shopping spree, I flew to my bed, not minding the Lifetime movie ending at all.
~*~*~*~
Um, yeah, I blow at writing endings. Please R/R.
~Bittersweet Symphony