A/N: Hi, okay! Sooo first of all, Jon is not related to the Starks. Second of all, this story has very mature themes. The trigger warnings are as such: mentions and descriptions (not explicit) of physical and emotional abuse. There is a non-consensual moment but also not explicit. This is a story about survival, strength and recovery, as much as it is a romance between Jon and Sansa. I pray and hope I have done the themes justice and that I haven't offended anyone in trying to write this story. I also feel it is imperative I mention just for clarification purposes that those trigger warnings do not have anything to do with Jon and Sansa's relationship. Theirs is (or will hopefully be) a relationship that is supportive, loving and understanding. I just feel like this needs to be said in case anyone thinks I'd write a horribly unhealthy and toxic relationship between these two smol babies.
In any case, thank you if you choose to read. And no, I am not stealing this fanfic. I am calico_tw on AO3 as well.
Enjoy! x
When Sansa is six, she learns a terrible lesson in heartbreak. She cries and cries into her mother's warm embrace and asks why he has to go, why is this woman stealing him from her, and her mother just holds her till the cries fade to a hiccup and Sansa falls asleep curled into her side. In the morning, her parents sit her down and explain to her that Jon isn't being stolen. He is going home to his mother. Sansa still doesn't understand but they promise she'll still see him so she is placated for awhile. When it becomes clear the Snows are moving abroad and Sansa won't see him again, she learns what betrayal feels like and resists the urge to cry again.
If Jon does not love her, she will not love him either.
Sansa is nine when he returns and she feels a strange aloofness between them. The Jon she remembers of her childhood is not the boy who moves in next door, who plays and laughs with Robb, who teaches Arya how to throw a quaffle or Bran and Rickon how to climb a tree. She resolves a month after his return that she does not like him at all. He is boring and serious and does not shower her with compliments and attention like the men do in the stories she reads late into the night. And it is just as well because he doesn't seem to like her either.
The following year, Jon and Robb leave for Hogwarts. She misses her brother terribly but tries not to spare a thought for Jon. On occasion, she does wonder if he is eating well because Jon does have a terrible inclination for not eating enough fruits. They have spent many mornings with him for Sansa to know this. She thinks he needs his fruits if he's to join the quidditch team as she knows he wants to from the many times Robb, Jon and Arya discuss what position they'll play and how they can't wait for the chance to try out. Sansa always scoffs at them when they do and tells them that quidditch is a game for barbarians but they roll their eyes at her and Arya tells her to go back to her songs and stories.
Sansa will never admit this but it always hurt when they do that. It always hurts to know how different she is to her family.
So it isn't with much surprise when Sansa is sorted into Ravenclaw while Robb is a Gryffindor, and eventually Arya too when she joins two years after Sansa. Even Jon is a Gryffindor and he isn't even blood. She hates him for it. She thinks he's stealing her rightful place by her family's side, but she fits Ravenclaw more as the years pass by and the distance to the others eases when Bran is sorted into Ravenclaw with her. Rickon ends up being the lone wolf in Hufflepuff but as the baby he is hardly without a Stark (or a Snow) by his side.
When Sansa is fifteen, she learns a new lesson in heartbreak. She learns that boys will lie and they will cheat and they will take what they want without asking and stomp on your heart for their own pleasure. And in the cold dimly lit corridor of the third floor, Sansa learns that Joffrey Baratheon is a spoiled, cruel prick, as he slides his hand up her thigh, skimming the bare leg under her skirt despite her trying to push him off.
But she also learns that day that there is a side to Jon Snow that no one else sees. Quiet, solemn and serious as he is most of the time, Jon is also ferocious and dangerous, and when he sees them, he rips Joffrey from her body and slams a fist into his face - not once but two, three times, till blood is dripping down the blonde's face.
Joffrey scampers away after that and Sansa makes Jon promise never to tell anyone. He is reluctant to do so but he promises.
That day she remembers the Jon of her childhood – of the boy who held her hand everywhere she went, who growled if someone came too close and she didn't like it, who stole sweets to give to her and who cuddled her when she was sleepy. Jon her Protector, the adults called him.
Sansa thinks things will change between them after it but nothing does and she doesn't know if she's glad for it or disappointed that there is still a miserable aloofness between them. She doesn't dwell long because Joffrey has remade her in steel and she pushes away what makes her feel vulnerable and Jon makes her feel too vulnerable.
But as she's starting to learn, everything changes eventually.