Disclaimer: I do not own sailor moon, I do own sailor light though *grins*.
Notes: I wanted to do this manga version but I forgot the girl's Japanese names,
Sorry... * shrivels into a little heap apologizing* hope you enjoy this. *Grins*
If you review it I might just make it a series *looks hopefully at you all* please?
Maybe, good enough to be human
"Sailor light is just a story. I'm sorry, I wished to be one of you so bad;
I endangered myself and many others. Then, when you asked me to fight I tried, really
tried and something came out but then... she came to me, The Light and told me how I,
by pretending to be something I am not, endangered so many others. How I have lost
the right to the holly name of a sensei, how I would have become one of you. I wish I could have helped you, could have been one of you, but I am not like you. It is better this way, I am not good enough. I am to
selfish and human, I would not fight first for the ideals of truth and justice. I am sorry
if I brought up your hopes but I cannot join you. I have proven my self too human.
A girl, whose name you do not need to know"
Looking back at the note a tear fell from her eye. How could I have been so selfish? I could
have been one of them, I would have. Shaking her head, she realized they would search her out,
knowing them, sailor moon if not Venus and the others, would look for her hoping to awaken
her powers. They would not believe that being too human, too arrogant; too wanting could change what fate had made true. They did not realize what they were. After their first sensei transformation, they were more then human. With all their strengths, and almost no faults, or ones that would not affect their strength and true, right desire to fight.
She knew what she was. She was not one, especially not anymore, with the right or qualifications
for rebirth and immortality. Just as a true sensei transformation brings you above the statues
of human kind for eternity, an untrue, fake transformation brings you below; far below, the
statues of normal humans. Once the fake transformation is complete, you are no longer
even able to hope, you have no chance for that godlike existence the senseis unknowingly have.
Letting one last tear fall she swallowed her hurt, and hatred for herself and wrote a new note.
"Sailor light is just a story. I am not, and never was a sailor scout. I never really transformed,
it was a costume. I am truly sorry, for a while I truly believed I was a sailor scout. Then,
when the attack would not work, I knew I was only my mother's child. I am sorry. I wish I could
have fought with you. Do not worry; I am going for help soon. Do not worry, I will never
tell anyone what your names are. I promise. I will not even write them here, for I am not
worthy." thinking she erased the last sentence. " Goodbye sensei, fight well.
A girl"
Hating lying to the sensei, she licked an envelope and placed the folded paper inside. Within twenty minutes she was at the arcade, there Andrew sat, blond hair in his face and blue eyes shining through, looking paranoid. Smiling she wondered if he was suspises of this 'sailor light' the girls
had apparently told him about. He was human, and had every right to be, it was in his nature.
Actually, at first, she had wondered why the sensei had been so willing to believe her, having
not even seen her transform. Suddenly she realized he was staring at her and swallowed the lump in
her throat walking up to him smiling.
" Where is the sa..." stopping she wondered if she could just give him the note for Serena, instead of leaving it in the headquarters as she had originally planned. Maybe after being around them so long, he was good enough to not read it.
"Where is?" looking at the girl oddly he wondered if she needed help, she seemed so confused
and scared, for just a moment before smiling assuredly.
" Where usagi is? Do you know where usagi is?" smiling she asked the question as if what perfectly
normal for her to know sailor moon's name... of course many people know her name with out
knowing it was her...
"Probably still in school, it's only eleven. By the way, why aren't you in school on a Saturday?
Your not even in uniform."
Mentally hitting herself in the head for forgetting that Japanese had school half day on
Saturday she thought faster then she ever had. " Hum, oh yeah, I forgot normal schools
are in Saturday. I go to an American style private school that just opened a few years ago
on the other side of town. It's very small. I met usagi at a festival at the temple on cherry
blossom hill and she told me to come here if I wanted to fine her after school or weekends when
she wasn't home."
" Oh, I don't remember any school opening. I must be getting old" smiling happy this was not
the 'sailor light' the girls had told him to watch for. For some reason he just couldn't
trust a sensei that Luna had not been able to sense from a few blocks away, or one none of
them remember or had heard of. Even Rini from the future.
"Well could you give this note to her when she comes in please? It's very important. It's about"
Pretending to giggle she thought of something that would destroy his interest "The guy I like"
Laughing Andrew grinned evilly "all right, and don't worry I won't read it."
Smiling relieved she truly giggled, "thank you." suddenly she felt better,
almost good enough to be called human again.
Later, when Usagi read the note aloud to the girls where he could hear Andrew understood
the emotions that flicked across the young girl's face and hid during that conversation. She only
wanted what none of us can have. She knows, like I do, like anyone who knows their secret, they
are too good. We love them, care for them, adore them, wish to be one of them but we cannot be.
We are all too human. Thinking he wondered if he should tell the girls what he thinks, what they
could not understand without the help of someone all too human. Slowly, he decides against it,
Maybe he has started to pick up the sailor's angel like personalities but at first he does not
understand why he should not tell them that the girl may have really had power but she didn't feel
good enough too be one of them.... to fight with them.
No, they did not need to know. If they knew they would not feel anger toward her, they would
feel pity. Even then he could here Ray yelling about brats and fan clubs. They might even try to
find her, and, he somehow knew, she did not want to be found. Could any of us really decline from
an offer to be more then human, twice? Shaking his head he smiled and took the milkshake to the table
where Mina was saying how they could not help being so popular, where Amy was analyzing 'sailor light's'
mental condition, where Usagi, Lita and Ray where simply ranging from slightly angry to furious.
No, they would not understand. Besides, they don't need to know what they are yet. Smiling he
looked at the perfect god and goddess in front of him, drinking milkshakes.
Notes: I wanted to do this manga version but I forgot the girl's Japanese names,
Sorry... * shrivels into a little heap apologizing* hope you enjoy this. *Grins*
If you review it I might just make it a series *looks hopefully at you all* please?
Maybe, good enough to be human
"Sailor light is just a story. I'm sorry, I wished to be one of you so bad;
I endangered myself and many others. Then, when you asked me to fight I tried, really
tried and something came out but then... she came to me, The Light and told me how I,
by pretending to be something I am not, endangered so many others. How I have lost
the right to the holly name of a sensei, how I would have become one of you. I wish I could have helped you, could have been one of you, but I am not like you. It is better this way, I am not good enough. I am to
selfish and human, I would not fight first for the ideals of truth and justice. I am sorry
if I brought up your hopes but I cannot join you. I have proven my self too human.
A girl, whose name you do not need to know"
Looking back at the note a tear fell from her eye. How could I have been so selfish? I could
have been one of them, I would have. Shaking her head, she realized they would search her out,
knowing them, sailor moon if not Venus and the others, would look for her hoping to awaken
her powers. They would not believe that being too human, too arrogant; too wanting could change what fate had made true. They did not realize what they were. After their first sensei transformation, they were more then human. With all their strengths, and almost no faults, or ones that would not affect their strength and true, right desire to fight.
She knew what she was. She was not one, especially not anymore, with the right or qualifications
for rebirth and immortality. Just as a true sensei transformation brings you above the statues
of human kind for eternity, an untrue, fake transformation brings you below; far below, the
statues of normal humans. Once the fake transformation is complete, you are no longer
even able to hope, you have no chance for that godlike existence the senseis unknowingly have.
Letting one last tear fall she swallowed her hurt, and hatred for herself and wrote a new note.
"Sailor light is just a story. I am not, and never was a sailor scout. I never really transformed,
it was a costume. I am truly sorry, for a while I truly believed I was a sailor scout. Then,
when the attack would not work, I knew I was only my mother's child. I am sorry. I wish I could
have fought with you. Do not worry; I am going for help soon. Do not worry, I will never
tell anyone what your names are. I promise. I will not even write them here, for I am not
worthy." thinking she erased the last sentence. " Goodbye sensei, fight well.
A girl"
Hating lying to the sensei, she licked an envelope and placed the folded paper inside. Within twenty minutes she was at the arcade, there Andrew sat, blond hair in his face and blue eyes shining through, looking paranoid. Smiling she wondered if he was suspises of this 'sailor light' the girls
had apparently told him about. He was human, and had every right to be, it was in his nature.
Actually, at first, she had wondered why the sensei had been so willing to believe her, having
not even seen her transform. Suddenly she realized he was staring at her and swallowed the lump in
her throat walking up to him smiling.
" Where is the sa..." stopping she wondered if she could just give him the note for Serena, instead of leaving it in the headquarters as she had originally planned. Maybe after being around them so long, he was good enough to not read it.
"Where is?" looking at the girl oddly he wondered if she needed help, she seemed so confused
and scared, for just a moment before smiling assuredly.
" Where usagi is? Do you know where usagi is?" smiling she asked the question as if what perfectly
normal for her to know sailor moon's name... of course many people know her name with out
knowing it was her...
"Probably still in school, it's only eleven. By the way, why aren't you in school on a Saturday?
Your not even in uniform."
Mentally hitting herself in the head for forgetting that Japanese had school half day on
Saturday she thought faster then she ever had. " Hum, oh yeah, I forgot normal schools
are in Saturday. I go to an American style private school that just opened a few years ago
on the other side of town. It's very small. I met usagi at a festival at the temple on cherry
blossom hill and she told me to come here if I wanted to fine her after school or weekends when
she wasn't home."
" Oh, I don't remember any school opening. I must be getting old" smiling happy this was not
the 'sailor light' the girls had told him to watch for. For some reason he just couldn't
trust a sensei that Luna had not been able to sense from a few blocks away, or one none of
them remember or had heard of. Even Rini from the future.
"Well could you give this note to her when she comes in please? It's very important. It's about"
Pretending to giggle she thought of something that would destroy his interest "The guy I like"
Laughing Andrew grinned evilly "all right, and don't worry I won't read it."
Smiling relieved she truly giggled, "thank you." suddenly she felt better,
almost good enough to be called human again.
Later, when Usagi read the note aloud to the girls where he could hear Andrew understood
the emotions that flicked across the young girl's face and hid during that conversation. She only
wanted what none of us can have. She knows, like I do, like anyone who knows their secret, they
are too good. We love them, care for them, adore them, wish to be one of them but we cannot be.
We are all too human. Thinking he wondered if he should tell the girls what he thinks, what they
could not understand without the help of someone all too human. Slowly, he decides against it,
Maybe he has started to pick up the sailor's angel like personalities but at first he does not
understand why he should not tell them that the girl may have really had power but she didn't feel
good enough too be one of them.... to fight with them.
No, they did not need to know. If they knew they would not feel anger toward her, they would
feel pity. Even then he could here Ray yelling about brats and fan clubs. They might even try to
find her, and, he somehow knew, she did not want to be found. Could any of us really decline from
an offer to be more then human, twice? Shaking his head he smiled and took the milkshake to the table
where Mina was saying how they could not help being so popular, where Amy was analyzing 'sailor light's'
mental condition, where Usagi, Lita and Ray where simply ranging from slightly angry to furious.
No, they would not understand. Besides, they don't need to know what they are yet. Smiling he
looked at the perfect god and goddess in front of him, drinking milkshakes.