Title: These Pieces Don't Fit

Rating: M

Author: Ellixer

Pairing: X/G

Disclaimer: Characters and show are owned by Universal and others. The story is mine. I make nothing.

Note: Third in my Pieces series. Please read in order or you will be confused. This story is from Xena's POV.

It's been weeks now, but the anger and the pain have only seemed to grow within me. I don't want to become the person I used be, but if that's what it takes to kill that bastard, then I welcome it with open arms.

When I close my eyes I see him, my Solan. Caesar didn't just have him killed, he had him crucified. A boy whose only crime was that I am his mother. He hung there, all the color drained from his body; dried blood streaking across his skin. The village could only stand and mourn as they watched helplessly. A few centaurs had been killed, but the contingent of Romans was large enough to hold most off.

I tried to get him down, to breathe life back into his small frame, but there was nothing I could do. The villagers stared at me with cold hatred, knowing it was all my fault. But my grief was soon overcome by sheer hatred. The only thing that kept me from going after Caesar then was Hercules. I barely remember the trip back, I've barely closed my eyes or thought of anything but killing that bastard.

Sigh. Gabrielle. I've been training with her for hours on end, but other than that I've kept my distance. I'm not sure why I'm even doing this, but a part of me doesn't want to leave her again. Every time I leave nothing but grief follows in my wake. She may be the only thing keeping me from slipping fully into warlord mode; and that knowledge is what keeps me here. I want to look at her the way I used to, to feel love more than anger, but I can't.

'Xena?' My name is always a question and a whisper these days. My answer? Long stokes down the length of my sword with my wet stone. Despite the noise I'm making, I can hear her breathing as she stands just a few feet away. She's kept Cle out of my sight; keeps herself to a distance. Sometimes I think I see fear in her eyes, but mostly I see sadness; I can hear it every time she talks.

My mother tried at first to reach me, but now I'm all alone as they stand as a group leering at me with sad eyes. I can't stand it; it only makes my blood boil more.

'Xena?' Usually she gives up after awhile if I just ignore her.

'You can't keep shutting us out. Shutting me out.' I can hear the tears in her voice but I refuse to let her know I'm listening.

'I love you.' She's gone again, though she hasn't gone far. She's standing outside the light of the fire watching me with tears that glisten in the muted light. Usually she just leaves but tonight she seems focused on getting something out of me.

'You shouldn't come.' I finally manage, my voice sounding strange in my own ears. I'm leaving tomorrow. I've been getting news on Caesars movements, and I think he may finally be where I want him.

'I have to.' I'm in no mood to argue with her, I know she'll follow no matter what. I lean my forehead on the hilt of my sword, sighing as I close my eyes. I feel defeated and this needs to change.

Her footsteps are once again moving towards me, slow and shuffling, as if afraid I'll attack if she comes too close. Soon her hand is on my cheek; I open my eyes to see her crouched in front of me, green eyes shimmering. I expect her to say something, to tell me some more how I'm shutting her out. But she doesn't say anything as she gently tugs the sword from my hands. Callused fingers trace across my lips, and for the first time in weeks I feel that flame inside. I grab her wrist, perhaps a little too tightly.

'You can't change anything.' I watch her eyes as I speak but they show only determination. My grip slowly loosens as her lips touch lightly upon mine. I feel my anger slip slightly as other feelings begin to rage again. I almost forgot how much I love her.

I give in to the slow caress and the deepening kiss. For just this moment I want to feel something other than pain and anger. Wrapping my arms around her, I pull her tightly against me; a startled gasp escapes her lips.

As we melt into each other, our clothes slowly peel off until we're lying in the grass under the moonlight.