what's your thoughts? Let me know!
Delsoon btw, i think. I'm suck at grammar anyway.
rnr guys!
That day, when you look up to the sky and you see the most peaceful thing you ever think of. Even when it's raining, even when it's storming there.
No one ever know what really is going on there, in the sky. If it the home of the gods? If it just literally clouds. If it actually isn't an infinity things, that it has a border that we can't see.
You just see to it and think what the sky want you to think, I guess. Except that you're kind of professor or something like that.
It's the same with me actually, I like to present my self just like what I want you, to see me as. If I want you to think of me as an uptight bitch, then you think me as one. When I want you to see me as an spoiled little bimbo than you think me as that. And it do even works when I want you to think I'm that 'that's smart, or 'that's sexy while I actually don't.
Do you know that kind of box, where it does said what's on the inside but you just want to rip it open anyways? Well, I'm that box. Even my father said that, full of surprises he said to, back when we still close.
Oh what's happened to me and him? Well, that's just another story. This, is the story when you found the leading actress is too stubborn to admitted she loves the boy. Loves, as in present, and maybe it will always will be. Because you already know, she just too stubborn to admit it, even if it eat her alive.
"Sakura, what happened to you and Naruto? I believed everything's fine between you guys."
"It does, fine I mean."
"Then why I heard you two broke up? And I heard it from our enemy for god's sake! Do I even still be your bestie here?"
"You heard it right, because I don't want to talk about it, and yes you still my very bestfriend!"
"Then why? Why you had to broke up with him? He's perfect right, I mean he has the face, the personality, he's very much rich too! You knows him for years, you know his parents, he knows yours, and yours and his are acquainted. He's smart too, or do I have to remind you that?"
"Because, Ino."
"Cut the crap out, Sakura. I meant it. Everyone's jealous just by looking at you two!"
"Because I'm tired. And I don't even know what I really wanted is, what my heart really wanted is."
"Stop bullshiting. For the love of the God, Sakura, you finally can go back to your home! Yes, you have to constantly go to this hospital but you're getting okay. Finally, you'll be fine again."
That's where I decided to finely push the nurse button. Secretly too, so my very best friend don't get hard feelings. When the nurse came, give me my medicine -they assume the pain in my chest are too unbearable again, which in some case they right, and my bestfriend finally left me all alone, that is the time when it finally sinks in. The feelings.
The reason why I don't want everyone to know where I am right know, the reason why there are two guards holding automatic guns in front of my room right is because I don't want everyone know what I have to endure right now so they don't pity me.
The very reason why I still laughing my ass of when my best friends came, when in fact I had to drink specific medicine just to make me can talk again.
Yes, I'm too stubborn, I know that.
And I verily know, I'm to stubborn not just to my body, my brain, but to my heart and my soul too.
The reasons they dreading to know, as why I've been on hiding nowadays, can't be found anywhere, and why I broke up with Mr. Perfect, are just because I'm sick. From the eyes, to the lungs, to the intestines, to the bones, to everything everyone can ever think of. I had pretty rough complications. And while my family and the doctor's team sure I can be as healthy as I can be before, I know deep down I'll never be.
So the very first things I had to do the very first time I know my body is failing on me, I broke the man whom I know is 'the one' for me. Whom I think will be my soul mates, whom I think will be my world for eternity. Sasuke Uchiha. And when I broke him up, I broke it the hard way. To the parts I know he'll hate me forever and to the point it already kills me.
It's a good start, it kind of numbing my heart. My feelings. But what am I to say, to do? It's the best for him anyway. He says he want me to be happy while all I wanted is him to be happy. So I hurt him to make him happy. If I die, he wouldn't get upset then.
And everyone believes the story I told to them why I had to broke up with my three years boyfriend. Even him. That's point, I think if I actually can survived this fuckin sickness I can be a pretty good actress.
And then Mr. Uzumaki Perfect Naruto came. So they even certain. Even me start to want to believe it.
But what can I do when I still cry myself to sleep when I miss Sasuke. When I lost my conciousness again and again when I'm too concerned for his well-being. And when I still got those heart wrecking moments that the nurse even had to inject those sinful medicine just to got me sleep again when I know he already moved his heart on, while I still don't.
So what do I do when I physically stable to stand on my own feet again? I broke up with Mr. Perfect. Do I chase after Sasuke Uchiha again? I don't know, maybe it is actually the way of fate that my path isn't easy. And maybe someday I'll see where Sasuke got his happiness, and I can get my happiness just because I see him happy.
And what I do know?
Well, I'm a pretty good actress so I just had to play my parts a little bit more then I can get my payments while I'm resting. Either it's on hell or it's on heaven. Though I believe I deserved hell more than anyone in the world.
The conclusion? I still love Sasuke Uchiha, in present ways and maybe I'll ever be even if he don't, and that's way I broke up with Mr. Perfect.