The Neo Sages

by Dragonteeth

Naruto leaves the vilage at an early age, and when he returns he learns that a mysterious child had recently entered the village. Not all is as it seems as Naruto and some new friends learn to work together to protcet their loved ones.

Dragonteeth: I know this is my first fanfic, and a friend of mine, Bloody-kunai, and I have been working on this for quiet some time. He is the co-writer of this story, and as such he will be posting this story as well. So please do not leave reviews about him stealing my story or vice versa.

It was a nice, calm, sunny day, and the Hokage had finally finished his paperwork for the day when a brown haired shinobi walked in and said, "Hokage-sama come quick, its Council member Haruno

It was a nice, calm, sunny day, and the Hokage had finally finished his paperwork for the day when a brown haired shinobi walked in and said, " Hokage-sama come quick, its Council member Haruno. You have to see this it's hilarious." The same shinobi ran out of the room with the Hokage in toe. When they got outside they quickly turned to go around the Hokage Tower. Once the two men got to the back of the tower they saw the weirdest, funniest thing in the world. What they saw was Saseko Haruno, the pink haired civilian council member, with her ass glued to the wall, she had a ball gag in her mouth to keep her from screaming, she was also stripped down to her pink lace bra and black lace panties. The funniest part of the whole deal was the fact that Saseko had a whip glued in her hand with ninja wire wrapped around her wrist and a mechanism that made her whip herself. The entire shinobi population was on their backs laughing with tears in their eyes. Even Shibi Aburame and Hiashi Hyuuga couldn't stop themselves from laughing. When the Hokage finally regained his composure he had a couple Anbu pull the pink haired woman off of the wall. When they finally succeeded it brought a new wave of laughter as everyone could see a hole in the wall as well as one in the butt of her panties.

When Saseko had realized what everyone was laughing at she tried to cover her ass, but it was too late the damage was done and the pictures were taken. Something else that everyone seemed to notice before the Haruno woman was that she had a white sticky substance on her face. A medical ninja walked up to the pink haired woman and scooped some of the white substance with a small container and walked towards the hospital. No matter how much everyone tried no one could unlatch the gag and get it out of the Haruno's mouth. An hour, and a shit load of paperwork later, the medical ninja walked in and said, "Hokage-sama I have the test results on the white substance, and it seems it's her husbands sperm." The Hokage looked completely dumbfounded and asked, "So you mean to tell me that this was all just a very kinky morning?" The medic Nin sweat dropped slightly and said, "Well I believe so Hokage-sama." Sarutobi sighed and said, "Thank you Rin-san." He paused and pushed the intercom button and asked, "Takaniki-san will you please fetch Mr. and Mrs. Haruno for me?"

The next day everyone was laughing once again at the pink haired council member, but this time it more at the pictures all around the village of the previous day's events. Saseko Haruno barged into the Hokage's office and shouted, "For the last time Hokage-sama me and my husband would never do something like that so please tell people to stop putting those pictures all around town." The Hokage sighed and said, "Well Saseko-san I would, but first I would have to find the culprit or else it wouldn't do any good." The pink haired bit... woman sighed and said," Fine but once you find the culprits make them pay."

Sarutobi sighed and said, "Fine, fine, if I find them I'll make them pay." He finished his sentence with a roll of his eyes. As Saseko walked out, Naruto and a boy in sunglasses and leather trench coat walked in. The Third sighed again and asked, "Let me guess, you have pictures and you'll sell them for me at discount price if I don't punish you?" The blonde haired boy nodded, while the shaded boy whispered, "I know now why they call you the Professor."

Iruka sighed at the antics of his students, having just been told who was behind the days prank. "Naruto, I understand you haven't been in this village in 6 years, but you still have to abide by the rules. Come on Naruto I'll treat you to some ramen and you can tell what you've been doing over the past 6 years." the scarred shinobi said as he started walking towards Ichiraku's Ramen. The blonde academy student bounced happily next to the chunnin, and said, "Alright Iruka-sensei!" Once they got to their destination, and ordered their meals, Iruka turned to Naruto and asked, "So Naruto what exactly drove you so far as to run away?" Naruto looked up and the scarred man sadly, and said, "Well Iruka-sensei it was because…"

'Naruto was sitting on a swing in a park when two kids, and their parents showed up. The four adults whispered something to their kids that the young five year old blonde couldn't hear, but as he stood up to ask them if they would play with him one shouted, "AHHH MOMMY HELP HE'S GOING TO HURT ME!" The children's parents saw little Naruto stand up and smirked, before charging at the young boy. One of the fathers made it to him first, kicking Naruto in the face. Next the other father got to him, picking the blonde boy up by the throat and slamming him into the ground. The two mothers got to him at the same time, both have picked up big sticks on their way to the young blonde, started hitting him repeatedly until their weapons broke on the boys body. After that one of the fathers picked Naruto up and threw him, as hard and as far as he could, out of the park.

When Naruto was able get up, very shakily, he limped towards and apartment complex, silently vowing to destroy all the bars in Konoha. As he slowly walked up to an apartment complex, called Safe Haven, he whispered to himself, "Oh how I wish I could live in there. Or any building really, anywhere that the villagers can't get me will do." As he was talking to himself he walked into an alleyway next to the Safe Haven, and crawled into a box he had just found recently. He laid in his box for a few hours, and thought about his birthday at the end of the week. He thought about all of his past birthdays, and decided that this one would end the same way as the last couple, with Naruto curled in the fetal position surrounded by people who were continuously kicking him as hard as they could, and with kunai sticking out of his body in various places. After a while of thinking about this he cried himself to sleep.

Naruto awoke the next day to the smell of smoke, he looked around and saw that the smoke was coming from his box. The blonde tried to get out, but as he started moving two kunai entered threw the flaming wall, both embedding themselves in his left thigh. Naruto screamed out in pain, but while he was screaming three shuriken entered through the opposite wall that the kunai entered through, and impaled the young blondes right thigh. As the pain from his thighs ebbed throughout his entire body, the stubborn blonde boy started pulling himself out of the fire. Just as Naruto's hands made it out of the box two rusty daggers came down and pinned his hands to the ground. As the young boy struggled all the villagers and shinobi around him were laughing, but, not wanting to get caught by the ANBU, they left quickly.

A small blonde boy with cerulean blue eyes came out of an alleyway three hours after a fire in the same alleyway had gone out. Naruto had survived through some miracle that was completely unknown to him. The five year old boy started heading towards the Hokage tower to talk to the old man about his living arrangements, or rather lack there of. As Naruto walked through the village he tried ignoring the evil glares that the villagers gave him. He tried to ignore the, seemingly, constant chant of 'Kill the demon. Kill the demon. Kill the demon.' while pointing at him. Though a five year old boy can only take so much abuse, so he started running toward the Hokage tower with tears running down his face.

Once Naruto arrived at the Hokage tower, and got outside the old mans office, the secretary stopped him with a shrill scream of, "You can't go in there you filthy little brat." Naruto blinked a couple times then shouted, "Hey Ojji-san this lady won't let me in to see you." The Third Hokage came to his office door and said, "I'm very sorry Naruto but I am far too busy right now. Can you come back tomorrow?" The blue eyed five year old sighed and said, "Yeah sure Ojji-san I'll come back some other time."

As Naruto walked out of the Hokage tower he was hit on the back of the head with a kanabo (1). The young boy shot forward from the hit, rolled a good twenty feet, and then was attacked again, this time by a black egg(2) into the eyes. Naruto screamed out in pain as the glass shards cut into his eyes. As the blue eyed boy fell he felt a chain wrap around his neck, and a weight hit him in the face. The chain unraveled itself spinning him into the air as the weight at the end of it slammed into the back of the boy's head. Just as Naruto started getting up he took a blunted flail to the chest, easily cracking his entire ribcage.

The next day Naruto woke up in a dumpster with a rotting banana peel up his left nostril. He pulled the banana peel out and sat up, but he immediately regretted it as pain shot throughout his entire body, but quickly ebbed(3) to his chest. As he sat there he tried remembering the events from the day before, and as they came back to him he sighed and said to himself, "Well maybe today will be better." As the blonde boy was walking towards Ichiraku's for another, hopefully, free meal, he was hit in the knee cap by a sledge hammer. Before the young boy could hit the ground he was kicked in the face, and immediately kicked in the side. As he laid on the ground in pain the sledge hammer came down on his stomach. Naruto looked around and saw two men laughing as they walked away as he slipped into unconsciousness.

When the five year old boy woke up the next day all he could see was blinding white, and he thought, 'Great I must be in the hospital. Man I hate this place.' As he finished his thought the doctor walked in and said, "Well Naruto you made a miraculous recovery, however we'll have to keep you here overnight." The doctor pulled out a syringe filled with a gnarly looking black liquid in it and said, "This is just to help you sleep." Naruto just shrugged, and rolled over to go back to sleep. As the young boy started drifting off to sleep he heard the doctor talking to a nurse saying, "I gave him the poison. He'll be dead by morning, and we'll just say it was from physical trauma." Naruto opened his mouth to scream, but found that no sound would leave his throat. As the young boy closed his mouth his body started heating up, and he felt all of his joints swelling. Naruto's eyes widened in pain as he started having trouble breathing, realizing his lungs were collapsed he decided to stop fighting the poison. He felt his joints continue to swell, but then a sharp pain came that felt as if something blew up at all of his joints, and he finally passed out from the pain.

Naruto awoke in a dumpster not knowing what day it was, nor did he know what time it was. He walked out of the alley and quickly realized what day it was, his birthday. He knew the day well; it was on the same day as the festival for the anniversary of the Kyuubi's death. He had been dreading this day all week for the sole reason that the villagers beat him even more. He started toward Ichiraku's, but stopped at the gate. He contemplated running out it, and never coming back, but decided against it. As he turned to head to Ichiraku's again he noticed a large group of people. The blonde boy took a couple of steps back subconsciously, but ran into a muscular leg. He looked up and saw the evil grin of a man with a rusty kunai, and he turned to run away from the man as he brought the kunai down. The rusty tool hit Naruto in the shoulder just as a kanabo hit him in the back. As Naruto started getting up he took a blunted flail to the chest, followed immediately by senbon needles into his elbows. As he screamed out in pain someone flipped him onto his back, and threw a black egg into his face. He started clawing at his face as someone hit him in the stomach with a sledge hammer. As the air left his chest he was stabbed in the lungs by a pair of katanas. The mob laughed as they left, and Naruto laid there trying to breathe even with the swords removed he found it difficult. The blonde boy started crawling for the gates to leave the village.'

FLASHBACK END

"How did you survive all of that Naruto?" Iruka asked, sympathetically. Naruto smiled and said, "That is a story for another time." The blonde boy thought for a second then, with a shit eating grin, said, "So I heard you've had a very." he paused for a second in thought, "interesting year." Iruka thought for a moment then said, "Yeah I guess you could say that, it went a little bit like this…"

FLASHBACK

'Iruka stood at the front of the classroom with a boy as tall as him, with long black hair that went down to the middle of his back, eyes hidden by dark sunglasses, and he wore a black leather trench coat that went from his nose to his ankles and zipped down instead of up. "Everyone we have a new student today, and his name is Ken Raikou." Iruka said to his class. The class stayed silent, "Kiba raise you hand please," Iruka pause for the boy to do so, "you'll sit next to him Ken." Ken just shrugged and went to his seat. "Hey Ken I'm Kiba." Kiba said enthusiastically. "I heard." Ken replied, with a cold, calculating voice. Iruka, who was taking role while this was happening, said, "Ok everyone today we are going to go outside and practice with kunai and shuriken." Everyone showed their happiness in one way or another.

One the way to the training field almost everyone was talking. The girls were comparing the mysterious Ken Raikou to, the not so mysterious, Sasuke Uchiha. All the guys, excluding Sasuke, were giving Ken pointers on how to throw kunai and shuriken. Once the class got the training field, however, Sasuke turned around and shouted, "SHUT UP GUYS! IF HE CAN'T THROW A KUNAI THEN HE DOESN'T DESERVE TO BE A SHINOBI!"

Ken tilted his head and spoke in a dangerously cold voice, "I challenge… Uchiha." There were gasps of surprise from throughout the entire class, even Iruka gasped in surprise at the audacity that Ken showed. Sasuke looked at Ken as if he was insane before saying, "I accept your challenge. Hope you don't mind losing." Ken moved into a position roughly one hundred yards away from the target, which earned him more stares, and said, "You go first… Uchiha." Sasuke smirked and said, "You'll never hit anything from there you idiot." The shaded shinobi-to-be just stood there, stared.

Sasuke, who was barely fifty yards away from the target, smirked arrogantly as his kunai hit the outer edge of the bulls-eye. Sakura walked up to Ken and said, "Just give it up Raikou-san, Sasuke is the best." The rest of Sasuke's fan club agreed with a loud cheer. Ken turned toward her and said, "Pathetic." Still looking at her, he threw his kunai behind him, and hit the dead center of the bulls-eye.

Uchiha little fan club gasped in horror at the fact that their precious Sasuke was beaten by the new kid. "Everyone calm down, and start practicing!" Iruka said, loudly. Everyone snapped into attention and yelled, in almost perfect unison, "HAI, IRUKA-SENSEI!" The chunnin chuckled and thought 'Man oh man, its times like this that make me love being a teacher."

The rest of the week was relatively the same after the first day. Sasuke continuously insulted Ken and Ken ignored him completely. The girls continued to swoon over Sasuke, while Kiba Shikamaru and Chouji continued to ditch class, and play pranks. "Okay class settle down I know it's Monday, but we have a lot of work to do if we are going to practice family jutsu at the end of the week." Iruka said to the class.

Kiba stood up and asked, "So what are we going to do to get ready Iruka-sensei?" The scarred man sighed deeply, and said, "Kiba I told you last week." A blank stare was his response. "O.K fine everyone today we are going to practice the henge jutsu." The 'prodigy' decided to speak up at this point, "Why should we learn such a useless technique sensei?"

"The henge makes it so that you can fool your enemies, which makes it easy to infiltrate enemy bases, collect information, keep your presence hidden in enemy territory, and get closer to your target whatever it may be. Also it is a good way for beginners to work on chakra control." the answer came, not from the scar faced chunnin but, from the mysterious Ken. "Don't you think Sasuke-kun knows that you dunce?" Sakura screeched. The shaded boy just turned to her, and said, "Well obviously he didn't, or else he wouldn't have asked P.B."

"P.B?" the pink haired girl asked. Kiba stood up proudly, and said, "It means… Pink Banshee!" At the remark Sakura's face turned a violent red while everyone in the class laughed. After thirty seconds Sakura screamed, "I AM NOT A BANSHEE!" Ken lifted his right arm, and inserted his smallest finger into his ear before saying, "I think I'm deaf now."

"Class settle down, or else no jutsu practice all week." Iruka said after his own fit of laughter. After hearing the threat the entire class quickly sat down and shut the hell up. The instructor smiled and said, "Good, now listen up, because I would rather not repeat myself." Iruka droned on for about an hour on how to perform the jutsu correctly, before he finally said, "Now you are to henge into a copy of me.

They tried all day, and when someone got it they left. Iruka approached Ken in time to see him henge into Sasuke. "Very good Ken, but I told you to henge into me not Sasuke." the chunnin said. Ken, still in Sasuke form, looked up and said, "Oh sorry sensei, I thought you told us to henge into the H.M.D.B." He 'poofed' back to normal, now eye level with Iruka. Scar face looked at him quizzically so he answered, "Homo-sexual douche bag."

"Hey, I am not a homosexual!" Sasuke yelled across the room. Ken looked at him, and said, "First of all, you have all of these girls chasing after you yet you're still single. Second, all you ever talk about is incest with your brother. Third, you didn't deny that you are in fact a douche bag. So now I have one question for you… How does it feel to be a bag full of douches?"

Sasuke got even angrier at the question and said, "I talk about reviving my clan, and killing my brother. Also none of these girls are worthy of my time." All of the girls in the room looked saddened at his statement, so Ken said, "Yet again, first not only did you not deny that you're a douche bag so it must be true. Secondly by insulting all the girls that practically worship you not only increased you douche bagginess, but you have also further proved that you lack any form of interest in the opposite sex… Homo." some of the girls were happy to have Ken standing up for them, but others were angry that he had called Sasuke a homo-sexual. "I'M NOT A FREAKING HOMO DAMNIT!!!" the black eyed boy shouted again. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, homo, and for the third time you did not deny the fact that you are a douche bag, so I'm putting it down as a fact." Ken said, while pulling out a book labeled, 'Ten-Thousand Facts About Konoha.', and scribbled something down in it. The last Uchiha was P.M.S pissed at this point and all he could do to keep himself from attacking Ken was shout, "NOT HOMO!!!" The shaded boy just shrugged, and coughed a cough that sounded suspiciously like the word 'homo'. All of the boys, excluding Sasuke, laughed their asses off.

Iruka was laughing his ass off at his new students' antics. A redheaded girl named Akara, trying to prove Ken wrong, asked, "Sasuke-kun will you go to the dango shop with me after school?" Sasuke growled at her and said, "Hell no you worthless scum!" Akara looked as if she was going to cry and ran back to her seat placing her head on the desk once she got there.

Ken's face suddenly contorted with anger and spoke with malice dripping from every word, "Who the hell do you think you are? You think that just because you're the last Uchiha you can treat people like they have no feelings? That's just not right! You're nothing but a spoiled brat that gets whatever the hell you want whenever the hell you want it! Your ancestors would be ashamed!" When he finished he walked to Akara and said, "If you're still up for it. I'll go with you to the dango shop."

Akara lifted her head from the desk, and wiped the tears from her eyes. She then smiled, and said, "I think I would enjoy that greatly." After hearing that all of the girls in the room sighed at the romance. All the guys, excluding Sasuke, "Oohed" The last Uchiha looked at the leather clad boy and said, "You two go well together… You're both worthless, and will never amount to anything.

Ken calmly walked over to the 'Avenger', and punched him in the face, which was followed closely by a knee to the gut. "HOW DARE YOU HIT SASUKE-KUN!" the P.B screeched. Ken ignored her and said, "The only one here that's worthless is you… Uchiha." Sasuke tried to hit the cloaked boy, but he dodged and kicked the Uchiha in the stomach, which sent him three seats away. Before anymore could happen Iruka intervened by shouting, "SASUKE KEN STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!" Ken just chuckled and said, "Please Iruka-sensei he's not worth my time. Besides, I have a date." The next day went about the same way.

"Okay class since you are all able to perform the henge jutsu, it's time for the kawarmi." Iruka said to his class. "Finally something useful for once." was the reply of one Sasuke Uchiha. Ken looked at him and said, "Shut the hell up H.M.D.B." in his usual calm voice. Said H.M.D.B looked at Ken and shouted, "I'M NOT A FREAKING HOMO-SEXUAL!"

Iruka intervened before anything else could happen by saying, "Boys shut the hell up before I give you both detention!" Ken raised his hand, and when he was called on he said, "I would just like the records to show that Sasuke never denied being a douche bag." Iruka just sighed and started explaining the jutsu. After a short while Iruka let them loose to start practicing.

Ken looked at Kiba and said, with an evil smirk on his face, "Hey Kiba, punch m as hard as you can." The boy just shrugged and tried to hit him with a haymaker, but before his fist made contact Ken switched places with Sasuke. Ken appeared next to Sakura and said, "Hey P.B if you're mad at me then kick me in the balls as hard as you can." The pink haired girl shrugged, not needing to be told twice, she tried to kick him, but again he switched places with Sasuke. The day continued on with Ken tricking people into trying to hit him, only to replace himself with Sasuke. Iruka sighed, realizing it was going to be a long week.'

(1)- A kanabo is a blunt weapon. Basically a giant 150lb bat, usually with blunted metal spikes.

(2)- A black egg is almost exactly as it sounds. It is a an egg-shaped plastic case, filled with miscellaneous things.

(3)- I put this one in here, because I've noticed people using the word incorrectly. It means: to recede from the flood state.