Here We Go Again, a high school musical fanfic

Summary: I lost count of how many times I have already done this before. It's always the same. You'd figure I'd get used to it – all the screaming, all the fights, all the crying, everything – but I never do. TxG. Based on Demi Lovato's "Here We Go Again".

Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical neither Demi's song.

Here We Go Again

I throw all of your stuff away
Then I clear you out of my head
I tear you out of my heart, and ignore all your messages
I tell everyone we are through
Cause I'm so much better without you
But it's just another pretty lie cause I break down
Every time you come around

I sighted as I removed the box from inside my wardrobe and placed it on my bed. I lost count of how many times I have already done this before. It's always the same. You'd figure I'd get used to it – all the screaming, all the fights, all the crying, everything – but I never do.

Now, it was time to call my friends. It was a ritual. Whenever we broke up, I'd call them. This time was no exception. I opened my phone and saw 10 lost calls. Once I had ignored them, I dialed the familiar number and waited for somebody to pick up.

"Gabi? Why are you calling now? It's so late," one of my best friends said through the phone.

"Taylor, is Sharpay there with you?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's here. I'll put you on speaker. What's wrong?"

"We broke up." I couldn't have asked for better friends. They always knew what to say and when to say it, and, somehow, they didn't get annoyed at me every time I called them to announce this happened.

"Again? I thought you were doing great this time…" Sharpay said. Maybe I had said that, but only because I had faith. Big mistake.

"I was looking for him at the club and when I found him he was about to screw some slut."

"That jerk! When I get my hands on him…" my more aggressive friend said.

"Gabi, are you okay?" the other one asked.

"Yeah, Tay. I'm fine. I'm better without him," I said for probably the hundredth time. And, for probably the hundredth time, I knew it was true, but it made absolutely no difference.

"Do you want us to go over there?"

"No, I'm fine, really. I need to take care of some stuff." Sharpay immediately understood what I actually meant.

"You know you won't throw his things away. You never do. He apologizes, you make out, have make-up sex, and things are back to normal." Sharpay said probably rolling her eyes. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they were getting annoyed. I don't blame them, though.

"Not this time. I'm sick of this. This time is for real." I didn't know if I was lying or telling the truth. I knew there was a part of me how couldn't stand it anymore, but this other part of me was addicted to him.

"I hope you are right, honey."

"Listen, I have to go. See you on Monday."

"Bye," they said simultaneously.

As I shut down my phone, I looked at the box placed on my bed. Maybe Sharpay was right, maybe I wouldn't be strong enough to throw his things away. No, I had to be strong.

It was late and my house was empty. Mom was on a business trip, again. I sat on my bed and opened the box. It was filled with letters, photos and gifts. I still can't believe what happened to us. We used to be the golden couple, now we're the break-up-and-make-up couple. He used to send me letters, writing how much he loved me and how he would never let me go.

A sudden urge to cry took over me. It was useless trying to fight the tears. Perhaps this could help. I cried, and cried, and cried until I had no more tears to shed. I had to forget him. This was getting pathetic. I got my headphones and put them on. It was time to clear my head and forget about him, even if it was for some minutes only.

I was lying to myself; I was lying to my friends. I knew I would break down as soon as he came around. But, for now, I would try to hold on and live one day at a time.

Last time I swore that I wouldn't agree to get back with him anymore. I swore I wouldn't let him have me back. I swore I wouldn't let him back in. But I should have known better. I should have realized that it was useless. He is like a drug to me. He is addictive. There's something about him that pulls me back in every time. I never learn. I always accept him back. And as hard as it is to admit it, I love him. That's why I can't give him up. That's why I can't leave him.

You never know what you want
And you never say what you mean
But I start to go insane everytime that you look at me
You only hear half of what I say,
And you're always showing up too late
And I know that I should say goodbye, but it's no use
Can't feel with or without you

I hear the doorbell ring and I remove my headphones. I guess sad music won't do any good for me anyway. Who could it be on the door? Sharpay and Taylor know better than coming to my house when I'm in this state. Mom isn't coming back for another week. And there is no way that he would have the nerve to show up after what I said to him.

And, boy, was I wrong.

"Troy? What the hell are you doing here?" my voice getting louder with each word I say.

"I came here to get you back," he replies. I roll my eyes. "That girl meant nothing to me."

"Sure she didn't," I said with my tone dripping with sarcasm.

"You know she didn't. You're all that I need."

"I said we are over, Troy. I'm not changing my mind. Not this time around."

"God, Gabriella. Why do you have to be so bitchy about this?"

"Excuse me?" I said not believing his words. "Did you just call me bitchy?"

"Uh, no. That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean? Cause it's really hard for to figure it out, since you never say what you mean."

"Maybe I shouldn't have come."

"Maybe you shouldn't have."

"Can you just, please, hear me?"

"That's what you say every time. Too bad you're always too late. Do you even love me?"

Those piercing sparkling blue eyes he had looked deep into mine. Even after all this time, one look from him, was all it took to make my knees go weak. It just drives me insane. "Of course I do." I wanted so much to believe him, to say those words back like I always did, to kiss him passionately, to throw him against the wall and let him make me crazy with is touch; but I couldn't, not after everything. I couldn't show him I was weak. Because I wasn't.

"Then prove it." It was like he was reading my thoughts. He did to me what I was just thinking about doing to him. As my head hit the wall it hurt, but I didn't care. He kissed me deeply and I knew where we were going with this. It was always the same. We would go to my bedroom, have mind-blowing sex and get back together. But I had to fight. I had to fight because I didn't want him to prove it this way. I wanted him to change. If he loved me, he would change.

"Troy, stop it," I said firmly. He looked at me questionably trying to understand me. Then, as if he hadn't heard me he kept kissing me and slipped his hand under my skirt, while gripping my ass. I took a deep breath. How could he still give me the most amazing feelings in the world? "Concentrate, Gabriella. Concentrate," I told myself. "Be strong." This time I said it loud and clear, with a demanding voice."I mean it. Stop."

"Ugh," he said letting me go.

"Why don't you hear what I say when I say it the first time?"

"Why do you have to be such a turn-off?" he said aggressively.

I cannot believe he said that. I should have said goodbye the moment he came through the door. But it's no use. I know that I'd go back to him. I can't even understand my feelings anymore. It's as if I can't feel anymore. I still love him, though, but, ugh – I just don't know…

"Troy, listen. I love you, but that doesn't change the fact that you have changed since I met you. You're not that guy I once met; the caring, loving, sensitive guy. Now you're a player. And I hate it. So I have no choice but to break this up. This time, for good. If you ever decide to change, give me a call. Until then, I guess I'll see you around." And I slammed the door in his face.

I know he probably doesn't know it, but I heard him mutter "I love you too, Brie" before walking out. I thought this would be relieving, but it's not. I'm just as broken as I was before, if not even more. The tears come back and I fall to the floor. I can't believe it's over this time. For good.

I threw all of your stuff away
And I cleared you out of my head
And I tore you out of my heart

After spending ages crying in front of my door, I decided to finish doing what I had started. I got the box from my bed and took it to the nearest garbage can outside my house. Not only did I leave the box there, but I also left my memories. I left a part of me, a part I would never get back. A part that was gone forever from both my head and my heart.

So how do you get here under my skin?
I swore that I'd never let you back in
Should have known better in trying to let you go,
Cause here we go, go, go again
Hard as I try, I know I can't quit
Something about you is so addictive
We're falling together;
You'd think that by now I'd know
Cause here we go, go, here we go again
Here we go again
Should've known better in trying to let you go
Cause here we go, go, go again
And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again
And again and again and again and again

When I was about to get into bed, my phone rang. 'One new message,' it read.

Brie, I'm sorry for everything. I am sorry I am not good enough for you. I know this doesn't change anything, and I'm sorry for that too. Just promise me you will never forget that I love you. I really do.
xTroy

What should I do? Nothing? Send him a message back? I sighted as I dialed his number.

"Talk to me," he said when he picked up.

"Hi, Troy. It's me." I could tell my voice was calm, very different from when it was some hours before.

"Brie? I'm so sorry. Yell at me as much as you want. I've been a jerk all this time and you don't deserve it. I guess I never did realize. I'm so-"

"Troy, don't. I just wanted to tell you that, I, um," I took a deep breath, "will take you back if you promise to change."

"Really?" I could feel the happiness in his voice.

"Yeah. But only if you promise me."

"I promise. I love you, Brie. So damn much."

"So, do you feel like coming to my house?"

"Right now?"

"Yeah. My mom is travelling, you know."

I knew that by now he'd be smirking. "Be right there."

We hung up and I once again sighted to myself before going back to the garbage can get the box back. Maybe this time would be different. Maybe this time it would work out. Maybe.

Then, I whispered. "Here we go again."

A.N.: Love it? Hate it? Please review! :D