A/N: I promise to get 9 Wives updated and Seven Songs Of Sin finished asap and stop writing poetry that has no relation to either of them. Please read and review and if you want to be especially nice you could vote in my poll for "Is That Too Much To Ask?" which will close tomorrow.
How many mothers cry tonight?
How many won't return because of him?
How many want to kill him?
How many curse his name?
How many curse my name?
How many curse Macavity's golden queen?
How many do not realise my sacrifice?
How many curse the Jellicles?
Are the last free tribe in London outcasts in their city?
How many believe they are in league with Macavity?
How many hate wrongfully?
Despise Macavity if they wish
Despise me if they wish
But do not despise my birth tribe
For they too belive as you
That I choose to be here
That I came of my own free will
In a way I did
But blackmail is never conduicive to free will
And blackmail Macavity does well
To lose my freedom or my tribe
My sister will never know the choice I made
My mate will never know the choice I made
My friends will never know the choice I made
My family will never know the choice I made
My daughter will be told her mother is a traitor
She will grow up hating her own mother
Her mother trapped in this gilded cage
I have lost everything I love to come here
But I have saved everything I loved
My only prayer is that I outlive Macavity
Yet it does not seem likely that I will outlive this night
So where will my story end?
So where will I find myself?
Another Grizabella?
Accepted only at the end?
Or will my fate be worse?
Will I die in some lonely street
Hated by those who I love
Will they ever know of my sacrifice?
Will they believe that I left them in pursuit of power?
Will I see my daughter again
Will I see her as Grizabella saw Bombalurina
A face twisted into a sneer
Turned away from her
Will I be able to return again
As Grizabella returned again
If I heard my Jemima sing of me
Like I sung of Grizabella
Could I do that?
Could I return to the stares of my one-time friends?
Could I see them reach out then run in fear ?
I would love to say I could
But my heart tells me different
It knows I would run away again
Terrified of returning home to my family
I can not go home again