Interview With Jakey and The Cullen Boys(:

Character List(:

EC- Edward Cullen

JH- Jasper Hale

EM- Emmett Cullen

JB- Jacob Black

IWJB- Jolie

IWJB- Hello all , and welcome to today's interview with the Cullen boys and Jacob Black ! First we can all say hello , and then I will get right to the questions !

EC- Hello everyone . I am Edward Cullen . Please refrain from calling me Eddie like my brothers…

JH- Good morning to you ma'm and to ya'll too .

EM- HEEEEEEEEY ! WHAT'S UP DUUUUDES ? ARE YOU READY FOR ME TO ROCK THIS INTERVIEWWWW ?

Team EM- AHHHHHHHH WE LOOOVE YOUUU ! CAN YOU TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT SEXY ?

IWJB- Ladies… Please SHUT THE FUCK UP ! *Team EM shuts up* Thaaaanks guys ! okayyy… moving on !

JB- Heey . ummm … I'm Jacob Black or… Jake ? haha . whatever … and Jolie , baby , you can call me anything ya want . *grins and winks at Jolie*

IWJB- *almost faints * okay baby cakes *leans over from chair to quickly kiss her Jakey Poo* uummm… moving on . First of all , Emmett an –

Team EM- AHHHHHHHHH ! GOOOOOO EMMMMMETTTT ! MR. SEXXXY PANTS !

*Rosalie is sitting in crowd . hisses at all of the girls … and guys ? *

IWJB- SHUUUUT UP ! okay . Emmett and…. *sharp glare at Team EM* Jasper . Why do you enjoy harassing Edward .

JH- Weeeell . I think we do it because when we take our jokes seriously they may get to dangerous for any ordinary human . We enjoy playing pranks on EDDIE ! OHHH ! Emmett ! Remember the time we took half of Eddie's classical CD collection and burned them . We did that all because Eddie wouldn't leave for our special night at home with our women . He refused to leave . It's hard to keep your thoughts to yourself on nights like those . Ummm… Eddie … we're sorry … !

EM- EDDDDIIIE ! MY MAAAAAN ! PLEEEEASE FORGIVE USSSS ! I KNOW HOW MUCH MORE CAPABLE YOU ARE AT PRANKING USSS ! IT GETS SOOOO SCARRRY ! I DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT ! JASPER MADE ME WITH HIS FREAKY MIND POWEEEEERS ! HE IS DEVIOUS !

EC- *silence . death stare *

IWJB- Okay . Interesting … So Edward … I thought about this long and hard but , why were you so obsessed with Bella. I know you wanted her smell , but other than that … I never could find a reason for you to like her …

EC- I guess you're right . It never made since to me until Carly came into my life . I finally realized that I only wanted her scent . But with Carly , I love her scent and her personality and everything about her . I also want her … in bed . We are getting married again to re-celebrate our love for each other ! You're invited !

IWJB- That's sooo cool ! AWWW ! I am reaaally happy for you guys ! We can talk about this more later ! Next question . Jaaaaaaaakey babyyyy ! It's youuuur tuuurn ! I reeeaally would like to know what kind of boxers you weeear !

JB- Baby , it's a waste of clothing . With the whole werewolf thing and all of you … *stops talking to stare at Jolie and think of dirty things* I don't wear any .

IWJB- That's a turn on … * Hops out of chair and jumps onto Jacob* I LOOOVE YOU ! *Makes out with Jacob without breathing for a while* we have to stop the interview … I need you …

JB- Babe , it's your job . Ya hafta finish . *Leans in to whisper * Then we can go to my car and get it on .

EC- ehhhhhm …

IWJB- *Pulls away from Jacob , panting* OH MY GOSH … sorry guys … *stands up , straightens out clothes , sits back down * Okay . Emmett , what were you doing at 3 a.m. this morning ?

EM- ROSALIIIEEEEE ! YEAAAAH BUDDDYY !

IWJB- Go figure . Jasper , do you ever mess with Edward's emotions ? Like have you ever used the feeling of lust to mess with him ?

JH- Actually , yes . This one time when Rosalie dropped her phone I had been sending out the feeling of lust and Edward was right by her . The lust hit him instantly and he slapped her ass as she bent over to pick up the phone . Then when Rosalie stood up and the lust had hit her too , she started making out with Edward . They almost started going at it hardcore before I could stop it . They were both really pissed at me but it was worth it . Luckily Emmett thought it was a turn on and took Rose to bed right after that . I happily lived that daaay !

IWJB- hahaha ! That is soooooo funny ! I would have loved to see that !

JH- Oh . You can ! Alice got it on video ! She knew it was going to happen ! She left the house for the day so Eddie wouldn't know what she was thinking . She left the video camera running and went shopping . I didn't even know it was going to happen ! She just told me she knew when she came home .

IWJB- Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice ! On that note … Eddi- Edward , blondes or brunettes ?

EC- Brunettes , but I have been with a few dark blondes in my time . Just no red heads or bright blondes … I will have to say that time we just talked about with Rose and I was quite enjoyable . She's a good kisser Em ! You're lucky ! But ya know …. Carly is the best in bed and at making out. AND SHE'S ALLLL MIIIIINE BITCHES !

IWJB- Ha . Okay . Ummm weeeell that's all the time we have for today guuuys ! *turns and looks at Jacob* Now I need to deal with youuu *winks*

JB- Come here sexy . *pulls Jolie on top of him and they make out until everyone is done getting pictures and leaves. Then they run into the dressing room and happily get it on ! *

Thanks guys . I just wanted to let you all know that if you p.m. me or comment a question , I will put it up in the next one ! I will put your name to give you credit ! remember you are the audience ! revieeeeeeew pleaaase ! Hope you enjoyed ! Oh , and I don't own anything ! LOOOOVE YOU ALLLL !