A/N: Hello, faithful readers! I know it took me longer to update than it took FOX to let us watch Private Practice's newest episode (And that's saying something!), but I've got a pretty good damn reason. Okay, maybe not… it's just that I hate to write just to write, you know? When I'm lacking that little inspiration bug, it really gets on my nerves and I can't write a thing!

But hey, now I'm back. And with a story starring Anthony Dinozzo and Ziva David, the cutest couple that has not made that many cute appearances on the big screen lately.

And… Another drama-filled story (No surprises here, I'm a complete Drama Queen, and I'm seriously considering rehab :P )

Read, Enjoy and REVIEW

Five times Anthony Dinozzo lied, One time Anthony Dinozzo didn't

(Ziva had recently become an NCIS agent)

"Dinozzo, grab your gear."

"Where're we heading, Boss?" The newly promoted agent eagerly asked, toning down the least bit when it occurred to him he sounded just a little too cheerful. He stood up from his chair and proceeded to follow Gibbs into the elevator when he yelled in pain, startled. He rubbed the back of his head. "Probie, if I find you standing behind me when I turn around in five seconds, you'll be sorry. The clock is ticking. Run or I'll beat the cra-"

Gibbs chuckled.

Tony shivered involuntarily and knitted his eyebrows together in fearful regret till his eyes were narrow enough not to recognize their surroundings. Gibbs did not chuckle. In fact, the only possible reason for such an improbably event to happen would be for him be thinking about watching his Best Agent being tortured to death by a Deathly Ninja. His feet hesitantly danced clockwise till he was facing the head-smacker.

"Who exactly are you going to beat the crap out of?"

He unwillingly opened his eyes, a comical expression gracing his features, only to find himself staring down at Ziva's.

"The… the Probie's…?"

"Now please, Tony, be my guest." Ziva uncrossed her arms, an amused smile flourishing on her lips. Her hands were dangerously close to touching his, and Tony's breathing became unsteady. "Why, is Anthony Dinozzo scared of beating up a girl?"

"I'm a gentleman. I don't… beat up girls." He sulked, looking up at the ceiling. "Which does not mean I won't make an exception out of you. After all, with those Ninja tactics of yours, you are hardly a girl to me." He finished with a satisfied smirk, until he saw the hurt glint that possessed her eyes for a small fraction of a second. Damn, that has got to be the lie of the year…

"Oh, really?" She raised an eyebrow provocatively.

"Yes, really." He nodded, trying to sound uninterested. He checked his watch. "Get on with it, Zi-vah. Why'd you hit me for?"

"Just for the fun of it." Ziva stated, also appearing rather uncaring. He noticed she kept brushing a strand of her hair.

"Ziva."

Both agents were startled by the Gibbs' rough voice. He had been leaning against the wall during their entire conversation.

"Boss?" She queried.

"Give Dinozzo the keys. The tension between you two will either kill one of you or lead all three of us to insanity." He clicked the elevator's button and turned his back to them.

"Yes, Boss."

Tony accepted the car keys and felt like grinning at her defeated tone, but there had been something about Gibbs' statement he could not quite put his finger on that made him hold back his tongue. That is, until…

"There's no tension between us!" They both spurted out, outraged by the thought itself. Lie number two. I must really getting the hang of it…

Gibbs sighed, his hand resting against the cold metal panel. "Alright, the dead man can wait. I highly doubt he wants to come back from up there to strangle you both and go to Hell instead. Which, by the way," He went on, angrily glaring at his agents. Tony, who stood beside Ziva, flinched at his hard gaze, and was secretly glad to see she looked quite frightened as well. "is what is going to happen if I don't get you two to shut up."

"Sorry, Boss." He lowered his head, more in fear than in trounce – not that he would let it show.

"Don't apologize, Tony." Ziva whispered only loud enough so Gibbs would hear. "I heard it's a sign of weakness, you know?" She smirked, and he thought she looked quite proud of herself. He pouted childishly.

"I'd rather apologize and stay alive, thank you very much, Ninja."

"So you figure Gibbs won't murder you if you say you're oh, so, truly sorry?" She asked, skeptically. "The odds of that happening… dangerously close to zero, I'm afraid. He might actually kill you in a more painful way, Tony." She ended her rant in a brighter tone.

"Really, that dreamy accent to your voice was entirely necessary, I imagine." His own voice dripped with sarcasm, he crossed his arms and gave a ninety degrees spin, so he would be verbally fighting with her face to face, rather than ear to mouth.

Her hand made its way to her mouth and her eyes widened in mock shock. "I'm sorry, was I that obvious? I didn't hurt your frail feelings, did I?"

His reaction was to deny it and brush it off with a poor joke. The words got caught up in his mouth, and the only one that managed to get out was, "No." He mumbled under his breath and his teeth gritted themselves even though he kept trying to unlock them in order to say something… not that funny, but that would undoubtedly distract everyone. I hope this lying thing isn't forever… lie number three, and it's only been five minutes…

Gibbs cleared his throat, and both agents jumped slightly. Their eyes got lost, and both attempted to pretend they had not seen the hurt in each other's eyes. "Good. Now that Dinozzo has shut up for good and given you no possible way to reply, David, we will be going." He commanded, turning his back to the elevator, once again, and pressed Down.

Tony repositioned himself so Gibbs would be in front of him, and a little sound at his right told him Ziva had done the same thing.

"What is taking the elevator so long?" They heard the elder man grumble.

"Who is the designated driver, Boss?" Ziva asked in a sudden.

Tony let out an infuriated objection as she appeared incredibly confident. He was fairly certain she was fairly certain Gibbs wanted her to drive. "Me, of course." He stated, again staring at her, an incredulous look on his face. "I just did not think it to be necessary to state the obvious." He spoke as if a three year old child stood in front of him.

"Well, then I'm glad you did, because your assumptions are clearly wrong. Right…? Gibbs?" She looked at him for support.

Gibbs inhaled heavily three times, before turning around, missing, consequently, the ride on the elevator whose doors had just opened. Tony and Ziva took a step back, fearing an outburst on his behalf.

"I am driving." He hammered the words with unnecessary violence, emphasizing the I. "And you are going to sit quietly on your side. Ziva in my sidekick's seat, Tony in the back, and we are going to enjoy a peaceful ride. Honestly… Where's McGee anyway? He'd be a better help than you two! I swear you two go mad when he's not here to cool things off."

"He's down in the lab with Abby." Ziva promptly answered the rhetorical question, earning a second glare.

"Hey, why is Ziva your sidekick? She's the probie here!" Tony whined, offended. "Okay, okay, I was just asking…" He raised his hands in signs of defeat. "But still…"

"She's not my sidekick. She'll just be sitting next to me." Gibbs replied tiredly. "You're all probies to me."

"You don't mean that, do you, Boss?" Tony faintly inquired. "I mean, I'm way better than Probalicious and Ninja here."

"Keep telling yourself that, Tony, if it makes you sleep at night." Ziva laughed, shaking her head mockingly.

"Do you know what really makes me sleep at night?" He stared down at her, angrily.

"No, but do tell me, Tony. I'd love to know." Irony. How he regretted having taught her the meaning of irony.

"Knowing you're not there with me." He heatedly yelped. Lie number four… I may be close to breaking a record.

"It's good to know." She shot back, her eyes now red with the furious fire that mirrored her state of mind. "Because that…" She spit the words with disgust. "Me, in your bed… that will never, ever happen."

"I wouldn't want it any other way." Ding, ding, ding, Anthony Dinozzo has just broken the Guiness record of lies per minute.

"GREAT." Gibbs' exasperated voice overpowered their angry yells, and both agents silently returned to the previous positions, eyeing him. "Now we know neither of you will break rule 12 anytime soon. Not that I needed to know, but it pleases me. Now let's go." The elevator's doors opened, and the senior agent motioned for them to go in. The doors closed. He pressed the Stop button.

Both Tony and Ziva eyed him questioningly.

"I need to know I will lose neither of you out there. You can't go to a crime scene mad at each other, and not have each other's backs. I won't lose my two agents on a quarrel."

He got no response from them. They were now eyeing him like he had grown three heads.

"What, Dinozzo?" He groaned.

"Boss, I almost got myself killed to rescue Ziva from those dickheaded bastards… I don't know about her, but I always have her back." He smiled at her. "Corny, I know. I must've picked it out from some movie." He grinned cheekily.

"I know you do, Tony. I'm just surprised you," She looked at Gibbs with a disbelieving smile. "thought we'd let a stupid fight ruin everything. I owe Tony my life… though I wouldn't let it get over your head if I were you, Dinozzo." She chuckled playfully. "I'll always have his back."

Gibbs was silenced for good. "You are annoying. Really. You are probably the most annoying probies I've ever had the displeasure to deal with. I will accept nothing short of best man in your wedding, Tony."

Ziva turned crimson, and Tony laughed at the sight. "We're on." Ah, there's a promise I'll be glad to keep. He smiled inwardly. Wow, that's probably the biggest non-lie I've said all day. Heck, all my life.

A/N: Loved it? Hated it? Puked on it? Want to favorite it? Want to… I don't know… REVIEW? :D

Febya