Peeta Mellark, a man who gave me so much yet expected almost nothing in return. Peeta Mellark, the boy who was by my side in the Hunger Games, both of them. Peeta Mellark, the one who keeps my nightmares away. Peeta Mellark, the one who was hijacked because I was the leader of the rebellion. Peeta Mellark, the father of my children. Peeta Mellark, my one and only love.
Is dead.
Assassinated by one of the twisted people who couldn't get over that we won, he shot a bullet at me and Peeta got in his way. He stepped in front of me and took the bullet, collapsing on the ground and coughing up blood. His last words to me were to take care and not become my mother.
I have.
My children are already grown up, already moved out. They worry about their 54 year old mother and how she solemnly eats. I tell them I'm fine, that I eat and get out. It's a lie. I almost never get out of bed, only to go to the bathroom or take a shower. I sleep a lot, I go to bed at around 9am in the morning and I usually wake up the next day. I almost never eat; I eat now almost once a week which is enough. My son took over the bakery when he died, my daughter hunts and they now own a bakery/butcher shop. My daughter is now married to Delly's son; they have been married for two weeks. Peeta didn't get to walk her down the aisle. My son has been married for about a year at 19, he married Gale's daughter, they are about to have a child. Peeta will never get to see his grandchild, the one he painted the room for with my son. We already have one grandchild; she is three years old and frequently asks about Grandpa. My daughter says to her child he is in a better place and to be a good girl because he's watching her; that doesn't stop the questions though. "Why is he up there? Grandma, do you still see him? Why can't I go and see him?" They all break my heart. I would reach out more to my children, but I don't like them seeing me weak, I also would reach out to my friends.
They're dead.
All of my friends are dead. Gale died of a heart attack due to stress when we were 30. Haymitch died around 3 years ago due to brain damage from too much drinking. Johanna doesn't speak to me; she's isolated out in the middle of nowhere. Delly is too much pain to talk to, she reminds me of Peeta so much. I want to talk to someone, but I can't so I sleep my problems away. It helps sometimes but not always because of the nightmares, the ones Peeta used to help me through. To get through I just take a sleeping pill and go back to bed.
I woke up in the woods and I heard a familiar voice. "8, 9, 10! Ready or not, here I come!" It was Clove, from the 74th Hunger Games. She had a smile on her face and looked nothing like she did in the arena, she looked really relaxed. She ran toward a near tree and circled it, "Found you!" she cried out. A teenage boy hopped down from the branch that was almost near the ground. "Clove! You always find me first!" the boy cried. It was Cato, the other district 2 tribute from the Games; he had a feigned hurt look on his face with a smile playing on the corners of his mouth, he looked more relaxed too. She giggled and hit him playfully, "Come on Cato, let's go find the others." They ran off to a rock and called out Found you, this time it was Thresh who joined them. They found Foxface, Glimmer, and Marvel in no time. They were waiting to find one other; they were still looking when they shouted, "Rue! Fine we give up!" and Rue climbs down the willow tree in the middle of the woods laughing. "You can never find me! Now ya gotta chase me!" And they all started running to chase her. Marvel got to her first and picked her up, throwing her in the air, catching her then spinning her around. They were all friends and having a good time, something I never thought would happen. Prim was there too, she was with the others. "You always forget about me!" She then fake pouted while Cato picked her up, "Nah Rose, you are unforgettable. We just don't like finding you." And everyone started to laugh. Everyone was so young, so relaxed, something I longed to be.
I looked around more and saw more familiar faces; Pollux, Boggs, Jackson, Leeg 1 and Leeg 2, and more. Then I saw them. Sitting under an evergreen tree and laughing. I saw Madge, Finnick, Gale, Haymitch, Effie, Cinna, Portia, even Snow and Coin were there, so was my father. I wanted to run over to them, but my feet were glued right where they were. I thought this was the time that something happened, that they all died and I woke up screaming, wishing Peeta was there.
"Enjoying yourself?" I jumped at the voice, the oh-so familiar voice that coaxed me through everything. I found him staring at me, waiting on my response. His prosthetic leg was gone and he looked like the boy I knew going into the arena. "Peeta." Suddenly my legs were unattached to whatever I was standing on and I ran into his awaiting arms. His scent so familiar, wheat and oil paints. His touch so unreal yet inviting, the feel of his hair so foreign yet it felt like yesterday. We stood in silence, just enjoying each other's touch and company. He pulls away first, not that I wanted to. He looks into my eyes as I look into his.
Blue to grey.
Grey to blue.
"Katniss, I thought you would move on when I died. Drown yourself into hunting or our children, not emotionally die. In fact, I kind of hoped you would and not be so miserable. I hate seeing you like this, not eating enough and sleeping most the day. Everyone worries about you, not just me." His words sink in, he thought I'd move on and do something else with my life. I just look at him and reply, "I can't live without you. Without you, I have nothing to live for, nothing that can make me feel like I deserve to live. You should've let me die that day. I deserve it." He looks at me for a long time then places something into my hand. "You'll remember this as soon as you wake up, you'll know what to do with it. I'm not saying you have to use it, but if it will put you out of your misery then take it. It will take you to a place called Heaven." He then bends down to kiss me, something I've longed for him to do forever.
He vanishes before he can. All vanishes too quickly.
I wake up and I see it's still dark outside. I almost start to cry, I need him back with me. I need his strong embraces and sweet words; I need his tenderness when he wakes me up and his feather-light kisses.
I need him more than life.
Then I remember what is in my hand. I look at my hand and there it is; the thing Peeta gave me. The Nightlock pill he stopped me from taking all those years ago. Nightlock, Nightlock, Nightlock, The words are ringing in my ear as I told Finnick to take them. Peeta gave them to me so I could get out of my misery; to go to the place he called Heaven. That's where he is, that's where I can be with him again.
So I take it.
It's bittersweet, like eating a cookie you know your mother will scold you on eating later. After I take it, I fall to the ground, not knowing what to think of all that has happened in the last 24 hours.
I wake up again, in the woods. My hair is done the way it was for Reaping day all those years back. I was in Peeta's favorite dress, a soft orange sundress I had on during our fifth wedding anniversary. I was in the woods again; I heard shouting in the background, children shouting. I look around and confirm it's the place I was last night. I feel arms wrap around my waist and I feel so safe suddenly. I lean back into his chest and breathe in his scent, wheat and oil paints. He turns me around and kisses me so softly, as if testing his boundaries. I wrap my arms around his neck as he wraps his around my waist. He deepens it and I bury my hands in his hair. I'm seventeen again, a normal seventeen year old who isn't scarred or the Mockingjay. So when he pulls away and asks me real or not real,
I tell him Real.
I hope you like it, this is my second time doing something like this and feedback is always welcome!