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Chapter One: An Unexpected Surprise
"Argh!" Bobby yelled as his character got an bullet in the face in Dead Rising.
"Left, Left! No, Right, Right!" Sam leaned forward and gulped down his Sunkist.
"Sunnovabitch, I died!"
"We'll try again later, Naruto's on."
"Oh yeah!" Bobby leaned forward and pressed the input button.
"Owareru you ni, Isoideiru Kawaita mune ga karitateru-" The TV went into a flurry of snow.
"Mom, the cable's out!"
"Right in the middle of the opening! I gotta pee anyway, be right back."
"Alright." Bobby leaned back in his chair.
Suddenly, The TV started to have a small shape coming out of it. Then, A kunai came out of it, barely missing Bobby's head, "Jesus Christ, What the hell was that?" A large jumble of voices began pouring out of the TV, saying assorted things such as, "Sasuke-ku- You do not have enough hate- BELIEVE-! I am an aveng- ousand Years of Death!" Bobby got out of his seat and took a few steps back.
Out of nowhere, Naruto popped out of the screen, followed by Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi and other assorted characters. In about 20 seconds, the room was packed to the brim with the Rookie 9, Team Gai and more. If you had been in that room, you wouldn't have been able to hear yourself think above all the yelling and confusion. Bobby stood on the bed and yelled, "Will everybody just shut the fuck up!?" The rooms fell silent and all eyes fell on Bobby, some eyes glowing with the Sharingan and others with the Byakugan. "Alright, will all Konoha genins step to the left, and all other assorted peoples to the right!" The rooms split and Bobby stepped in the middle of all the chaos, "Ok, All Evil peoples, Akatsuki, Sound, or just plain evil, please go downstairs, all Konoha or good peoples stay upstairs." There was some mass confusion with who was good and who was evil but it all got sorted out.
Sam walked out of the bathroom, "Hey, Bobby. Hey, Naruto. Hey, Sas- What the fuck!?"
"They popped out of the TV, now shut up so we can get organized. I'll go downstairs and handle the evil people. You stay here with all the good people.
"All... right."
"Good." Bobby jumped on the banister and slid down.
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DOWNSTAIRS
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Bobby slid down the banister, "Alright, all Akatsuki on the right, and all Sound and other assorted evil on the left," They stood where they were, "Move!"
Orochimaru walked to the front," And why should we listen to you?"
"You came out of my TV, didn't you?"
They all begrudgingly listened to me and split in half, "Alright, Akatsuki, you stay here, Sound and other assorted evil, you're going home with Sam when he goes home tomorrow. And also, Itachi, you can kill Orochi at anytime, just... go in the backyard."
Itachi looked at Orochimaru, "Tsukuyomi!"
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IN TSUKUYOMI
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Orochimaru was dangling by his feet and had his head chained to the wall. Itachi walked up to him," For the next 72 hours, I will hold this picture of my brother in front of you, and you can't kiss it."(1)
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
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DOWNSTAIRS
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Orochimaru fell dead to the ground. Bobby's eyes widened in surprise,"How long did it take?"
Itachi looked at Bobby, "Five minutes."
"Damn, Could someone get rid of the body?" Bobby looked down and saw that Orochimaru's body was gone. "What the-?"
Zetsu burped, "Sorry, I was hungry."
"Well, the body's gone. Someone comfort the mistresses." Kabuto and Kimimaro were in the fetal position on the couch crying.
"I'll do it, yeah." Deidara walked over to Kabuto and Kimimaro and punched them,"Shut up, yeah! He's dead and there's nothing you can do about it, yeah!"
Kabuto and Kimimaro let out a little sound of agreement and ran into the crowd.
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UPSTAIRS
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"Alright," Sam yelled to the crowd, "Me and Bobby always discussed who would get who if this ever happened, all of the Rookie 9 and Team Gai stay here, and everyone else goes home with me tomorrow, We'll work everything out from there." No-one could argue with him so they all just hung around the room with Sam telling everyone the circumstances... until Naruto got on the computer.
"Hey, Sam!"
"What?"
"What are the NaruSasu forums(2)... and why is it on Bobby's favorites?"
"It's nothing, now get off the-"
"Why are me and Sasu- Holy Shit!"
"I knew this would happen."
"Sasuke-teme!"
Sasuke walked over,"What is it, do-" Sasuke looked at the screen, "Bobby will die... in the most painful way possible."
Kakashi glanced at the screen and walked over, "Now Sasuke, appreciate it, people don't mind you and Naruto's relationship."
Sasuke turned to Kakashi, "What the hell are you talking about?"
"You know, the one you've always had, It's really obvious."
"I am not gay!"
"Sure..."
"God dammit!"
Sakura ran over to Sasuke, "What's wrong, Sasuke-" She looked at the screen, "kun."
Naruto gulped loudly, "This won't end well."
Sakura turned to Naruto with the chakra around her fist visible, "Die, you teme!"
Kakashi stopped the fist just in time, "Now Sakura, accept Sasuke's sexuality."
"But I'm not gay!"
"Sure you aren't."
"What is wrong with you!?"
"Nothing, nothing at all."
Sasuke sighed, "I'm going downstairs to kill Itachi." Sasuke walked down the stairs.
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DOWNSTAIRS
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Bobby looked at the stairs, "Shit, it's Sasuke," He turned to Itachi, "Don't fight him."
"I will try to restrain myself."
Sasuke flipped over the banister and started doing a Chidori,"You will die, Itachi!"
"Now, brother, now is not the time to fight."
"Shut up and die!" Sasuke raced at Itachi but Itachi broke Sasuke's hand, effectively stopping the Chidori before it did any damage.
Kakashi poked his head out from upstairs, "You can't hurt him because you read too much shounen-ai," Kakashi ran upstairs before Sasuke could say anything. Itachi started pummeling Sasuke as Sasuke tried to dodge but couldn't.
"Stop it, you'll wreck my house!" They kept on fighting. "Dammit," Bobby started doing the hand signals for the Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu, "This should scare them." Bobby finished his hand signals and yelled, "Suiton: Suiryudan no Jutsu!" He expected nothing to happen but for the two Uchiha's to stop fighting, but the water around Sasuke and Itachi began condensating and morphed into the form of a dragon. One thought ran through everyone's mind, that was,"How the fuck did he do that?"
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Ha, slight cliffhanger. Whatever...
1- Me and Sam think that's how Itachi beat Orochimaru the first time.
2- narusasu. proboards100. com Go there without the spaces... NOW.
EDIT: Some of the dividers and the site got fucked up, but I fixed them