DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rose Of Versailles or this fanfic. The original text, "Émmene-moi", was written in French by karaline. You can read it here: s/6919786/1/Emm%C3%A8ne-moi
The sun was about to rise. Another day. A new day. She opened her eyes and she knew. Something had changed. Even if she couldn't say what it was, she could feel it. Today everything was different. She should be worried. She should be afraid, perhaps. She who had known rules and had followed orders all her life, orders that were like unavoidable landmarks that married a destiny all traced. Yes, she should be worried. But that wasn't the case. And to be completely honest, she didn't care. And the worst thing was that she could not even be surprised at the lack of an unusual reaction on her part. Because today, everything was different.
Yesterday again, André was only André. Her childhood friend, her loyal adventure companion, her devoted shadow. But today, he was the man who loved her, who suffered in silence due to her non-reciprocity of the feelings that overcame him and spoke violently. And now, everything was different. Something had been torn. A strong bond, a sincere friendship, an acquired certainty.
But something else had replaced it. Insidiously, during her sleep, in her dreams, her mind had spoken. Another bond, stronger, harder, safer, was formed. The awareness had come smoothly, as subtly as André's painful confessions had been violent. So softly it seemed natural. And she didn't even try to fight what she usually would refuse. She had just opened her eyes, the day after her friend's declaration. And she knew. She knew what she had to do.
She went straight to André's room and entered without even knocking the door. He finished buttoning his shirt and looked up at her, surprised.
"Oscar?", he said, stunned.
She closed the door behind her and rested against it, her arms behind her back, the head low and the eyes closed.
"What is the matter? Are you alright?", he asked, anxiety taking precedence over surprise.
"André…", she simply said, raising her eyes to meet his.
But she remained silent and he believed the worst. What if she ordered him to go away from the Jarjayes domain, after what he had done? What would become of him?
"Oscar", he said, taking the lead. "I just wanted to see you. I want to apologize one more time for what I did last night. I…"
"Take me away, André", she interrupted him suddenly.
"You want me to take you away?", he repeated, not really understanding. "But where?"
"It does not matter. But take me with you".
He watched her, dumbstruck and shocked, before talking again.
"Oscar, I am not sure I understand".
"Do you really love as you have confessed last night?"
He frowned, more anxious every time.
"Yes, I swear before God. I love you more than my own life".
"Then take me away far from here. Take me away from this contemptuous and vain nobility, that refuse at all costs to renounce its privileges. Take me away from the Queen who had turned her back on her people. Take me away from the rumours that grow in the heart of the Parisian people. Take me away from those visions of violence and those battles that make blood run and kill a part of my life. Take me away from that father who had made all the decisions in my life and has been incapable of loving me for what I am, despite the sacrifices and suffering for his honour's sake. I want to live, André. To finally live my life and decide by myself the way I carry on with it. And I want you to share it with me".
He remained open-mouthed, given this rather unexpected speech. It seemed an hour had passed before he could react and speak again.
"Oscar, are you asking me to run away with you?"
He displayed a disillusioned smile, almost amused by the absurdity of his question, waiting for her to look at him with a frozen gaze and call him a madman. But she gratified him with one of those intense looks she kept secret, the ones that had the power of overcome his own warnings. And most importantly, her eyes didn't betray her showing any sign of joking: that made him accept the aberrant possibility of her being serious.
"I know it is selfish of me to ask you to turn your back to this situation, especially having in mind your origins and the people and places you are used to, but…"
"No, Oscar, stop. First, you are all but selfish. Second, I am not against moving away from the storm, because what keeps me here is you. And well, if I were sure this solution would make you happy, I would leave in no time".
"Then let us leave immediately".
"Oscar, no", André protested with agony.
"Why not?", she answered, with a painful feeling of rejection. "Do you not love me enough?"
"I love you just too much to cause you any misfortune. I am not the one whom you love", he pleaded with a sad voice.
"Why does it matter? He will never love me. And you will love me for two".
"It does not work that way. And I do not wish to be the consolation prize".
"I do not consider you as that! Never!", she strongly protested. "André, if I had to choose one person to share the rest of his life with me, I would choose you".
"That is what you think now, but you will regret it later".
"My only regret is not asking you to leave with me before".
"Oscar, even if that is my dearest dream in the whole world, it is a bad idea".
She swallowed with difficulty. Convincing André was harder than she had ever imagined. However, she could feel he was dying to accept her proposal.
"I will marry you", she said, already desperate.
Once again, her words stunned him. Did she really pretend their lives to be joined? He needed some seconds to come back to reality, his mind too busy imagining the happiness of having Oscar as his legitimate wife. He clung to the last bit of lucidity he had.
"But you will never love me", he assented.
He saw her gaze veil for a second, but she didn't look down, true to herself.
"We will live as husband and wife, privately and publicly", she added, trying to finally convince him.
That time, he didn't allow any doubt to disturb him. André's heart was beating excitedly against his chest, his throat became dry. Oscar's proposal was so tempting to him he sent away, one by one, all his good resolutions. He laid down his last card, but, deep inside, he had already made a choice.
"What about Grandma?"
Oscar lowered her gaze that shone with guilt.
"She will not be able to come with us", she answered. "Like my poor mother and all of the friends we are leaving behind".
She raised her eyes again, wet with fresh tears.
"Then, André, will you take me with you?"
He should have refused, in the name of all his good morals, rules of decorum and decency, values and sense of duty. But she surpassed everything and he had the chance to live the life he had dreamed of so often. A life with Oscar. Nothing but the two of them. And despite considering himself guilty and selfish, he gave in.
"Go get your belongings. The bare minimum, as we will travel light", he finally said, fearing she would regret her decision.
But she didn't need to be asked twice and left his room. And as she disappeared into the corridor, he swore to do everything to make her happy.
They reunited at the mansion's entrance. André gave her a fixed gaze, to which she didn't blink, making him understand she was determined to continue. They were just going to leave when Grandmother called them. They looked at each other, but André could not bring himself to ignore his grandmother.
"Yes, Grandma?"
"So, André, were you leaving without telling me goodbye, ungrateful child?", she said, angrily.
"How… how do you know we are leaving?", he asked, stupefied.
"Come on! You are about to go out and it is that time of the day when you usually go to Versailles", she gave her evidence.
"Oh! Yes, of course, Grandma".
"Come on, André, what is the matter? You seem strange today".
"It is nothing, Grandma".
André gave Oscar another look of nervousness, but he couldn't hold back. He dropped his bag and took his grandmother in his arms. She opened her eyes wide, surprised by her grandson behaviour. Then she gave in to his embrace briefly before casting a suspicious glance at him.
"André Grandier! What are you hiding from me?", she said, frowning.
"Nothing, Grandma, I promise. It is just… I do not hug you enough".
She watched him insistently, gauging his attitude. She hesitated between believing him and expecting the worst. Then her glance passed over Oscar, who had her eyes lowered to the ground. She followed her look and noticed the two bags on the ground. Confused, she looked at her and then him, and she realized Oscar wasn't wearing her uniform and André had a simple outfit on, as if he was about to ride his horse for a long time. Then she understood and rose her eyes, wide with shock, to look at her grandson who couldn't hold her glance. He expected her to scold him or to protest, but she had her eyes filled with tears and embraced the young man who returned her embraced, moved.
"Take care of my little Oscar", she whispered so that he was the only one to hear it.
She released him and gratified him with a sincere smile. He nodded and turned to Oscar. Without giving her time to react, the old lady hugged her. The young woman didn't resist and gave in to her embrace.
"Come with us", Oscar murmured, even if she knew they couldn't take her with them.
Grandmother stepped aside and smiled at her.
"No, my child. I am too old. I belong here, you know that very well".
"Nanny…", Oscar protested languidly, with wet eyes.
"Go, my children, leave immediately, you will be late!", she exclaimed, to make farewells easier. "André, take her away".
Oscar was about to protest, but she held back when she felt André's hand resting on her shoulder. Her eyes met his and she saw him smiling at her, even if tears were rolling down his cheeks. She nodded to agree. Then, she glanced for the last time at the woman who had been her nanny and turned around, with a heavy heart, followed by André, who was just as shattered. The old woman watched them leave, with tears rolling down on her wrinkled tears. That would be the last time she saw them, she was aware, but they were leaving to have a better life. That thought made her smile despite her sorrow.
Goodbye, my children, I hope you find peace and have a life calmer and happier that the one you have known until now. God bless you both. Goodbye.
A month later, Grandmother fell asleep one evening to never wake up again, incapable of bearing the absence of her dear grandchildren. However, she was found with a smile on her lips, having been the only witness of the precious secret she had kept to herself, aware of her two beloved children being safe and together.
They saddled the horsed and straddled them. Oscar rode to the Jarjayes' portal without looking back. Once at the gate, she galloped, lowering her head, more to hide her tears than to protect herself from the wind that snapped her face. André followed her without any comment, and when she headed south, he didn't flinch. They galloped in silence for long hours before stopping so the horses could get some rest. They didn't speak, each of them with a troubled mind. Then they began to ride again and continued for several days, taking pauses to rest and have a hot meal. In the evenings, they stayed in a randomly found tavern or slept in the open air. They spoke just a few times and André never asked what her intentions were. Yet, a week before they left the Jarjayes' domain, she stopped in a small village. The bells of the church could be heard everywhere and she stood still in there, watching the bell tower. Fascinated by such a vision, it took her a long time to realize that André was looking at her uneasily. She smiled to reassure him and got off her horse.
"Wait for me here", she said, mysteriously, and drew away.
She came back an hour later and rode her horse again without saying a word. Split between curiosity and the will to not rush her, he decided to follow her, not protesting. She stopped in front of a small hovel in pitiful condition, just outside the village, and got off her horse.
"It is here. We have arrived", she said.
"To where?", André asked, confused.
"To our home", she answered before entering the small house.
He followed her, not really understanding. As she examined the place, he got close to her.
"Oscar", he simply said.
She turned to meet his gaze and decided to finally explain herself.
"I bought this house with some of my earnings from the Royal Guards. Of course, it does not look good, but with some work, it can be refurbished. There are only two rooms, but that is nothing to worry about. And there is a chimney we will use during winter. And outside, you can find a barn for the horses".
Seeing him looking at her without comprehending, she was more explicit.
"We will live here, André. The two of us".
His mouth was partially open, surprised. She didn't gave him time to reply and kept talking.
"I had it all planned. The blacksmith of the village is looking for an assistant. As for me, I will look for some work in the surrounding area. And…", she said, getting closer to him, "next Sunday, we will get married".
Definitely amazed, he couldn't feel more surprised when she put her arms around his waist pressing him against her. He just closed his arms around her.
"Are you sure this is what you want?", he murmured after a long time, so languidly she wondered if she had imagined him saying those words.
Her only response was to make her embrace even tighter.
That week they restored the building to proper conditions. The changed the broken windows, filled the holes in the roof and replaced the furniture. André didn't start working until the following week. As for Oscar, she had found a job as a private tutor with a wealthy family in the area. Their house was an hour away, but the fact didn't bother her. And to stick to her new life, she had made an enormous concession regarding her clothing. Not being able to put on dresses with corsets-like-prisons, she had decided to keep her men's shirts and combine them with long skirts that covered the boots she used to wear with her uniform.
It was already Sunday, and just like she had declared, they got married in the small church they visited before. He had their outfits for the ceremony made by the village seamstress, in the simplest of invoices. When the evening came and the newly married couple entered their home, André told himself he couldn't believe he was so fortunate. And that was the problem: he didn't believe it yet. He kept wondering when we would wake up and realize he had just dreamed about this new life with Oscar. He didn't dare to make any move towards her, preferring to sleep in the second rom and not impose on her any affectionate gestures, even if he craved for them. And for her part, she seemed to be satisfied, since she didn't make any gesture towards him. Yet, on evening, she broke the rule. When they were getting prepared to sleep, she began to give him their first real kiss. Surprised, he didn't respond immediately. But when she insisted, he gave in and embraced her tenderly. Soon, he was being carried away by desire. A desired repressed for so long. He didn't notice they had moved until he was pressing her against the door of her…their room. He almost continued, Oscar never opposing him, but something held him back. He stood still, he kissed her on the forehead and released her to lock himself in the second room. Stupefied, she watched him withdraw without understanding his reaction, and she couldn't tell if she felt relieved or disappointed that he had stopped. She could just lock herself in her room and lie down. She wasn't even aware of the tears that wet her pillow just before somnolence overcame her.
The next day, and the following ones, André showed her great affection, finally allowing himself to be intimate towards her: he would hug her or kiss her furtively on the mouth. But he invariably insisted in sleeping in the other room. She had a hard time trying to comprehend his behaviour, for she wasn't unaware that he loved her and experienced desire for her. So, one night, having made up her mind, she decided to join him without giving him any chance to refuse. As he slept, she placed herself beside him and woke him up with a kiss. Half asleep, believing he was dreaming, he didn't refuse and eagerly responded to her kisses, covering her with caresses. However, he came back to reality as the remains of somnolence faded. He wanted to move away, but she clung to him and refused to let him do it, covering his lips with hers to silence him. He gave in, but he made love to her in the sweetest of ways. And ever since that night, they never slept in separate rooms again. However, a shadow persisted in André's heart, veiling a part of his happiness. Did she often think of him? Did she miss her previous life? Was she happy? They never talked about it, like they had made a silent agreement. But he couldn't help thinking about it.
Some months later, when their life seemed to have taken a familiar demeanour, the Revolution broke out in Paris. Oscar was four months pregnant. From their small village, they followed the events, displaced, as simple spectators. When they heard the Bastille had fallen, André could no longer restrain himself, and asked her if she regretted not having been there. She replied that she now had more important things to care about, while caressing her growing belly, but she never answered to his question directly.
When Christmas morning came that year, just like her mother, little Rose saw the daylight for the very first time. Oscar was radiant despite her fatigue. André watched her tenderly, observing the precious picture they formed. His wife looked at the new-born with such tenderness that he felt a jolt of jealousy, even if he was happy to see her unfeigned joy at the prospect of being a mother. As he got away to leave them alone, Oscar stared at him and smiled. His heart melted with happiness when he was able read on her eyes the same unconditional love she showed to her child. And while he joined them to hold the hand she was holding out to him, he vowed to never again let his dark thoughts take over his life. Sitting beside her, he finally realized, with such evidence, that she was happy and she loved him in her very own way, even if she remained silent to the words he had so often pronounced to her, the words that had never found echo in her.
The years passed, sometimes happily, sometimes a bit less. Little Rose saw a little brother being born, he was named Pierre. And the moment came when the little girl became a young woman and gave her heart to an honest young man, who was hardworking and calm. Then it was little Pierre's turn to grow up, and he became bigger and stronger than his father, who had given up his job as a blacksmith, already too old to keep working. As for Oscar, she quitted her private tutoring job, being less and less able to bear the remaining arrogance of the house owners, despite the evident fall of royalty and nobility. She stayed away from wealthy families, preferring to focus on her second job: being a teacher in the village. The activity was virtually voluntary —as the town could only pay her a meagre compensation—, but much more gratifying. Then, as Pierre and Rose left, they had fewer mouths to feed, especially as André managed to sustain them both with just his income.
More years passed, and as time wrinkled their features and made their hair white, they had to give up their jobs, living on their savings and sometimes with the help of their children that lived not far from them. It was a Sunday like any other, after they had received in their small house their offspring —seven grandchildren and another one in the way—, that they went to bed as usual. They laid down face to face. Oscar took her husband's hand in hers.
"I love you, André", she whispered.
Even if that was her first time saying it, he didn't feel surprised at all. He merely smiled.
"I know that, my love".
"I had never told you before".
"Even so, I know".
"I believe I had always loved you".
His only response was to smile at her. Even so, he knew that. He had known long before her. And that was all. No other word was pronounced. Everything was already said. André took his wife's hand to his mouth and kissed it tenderly before closing his eyes, followed by Oscar. They fell asleep like that, as usual. However, that night, everything was different. In his sleep, André's heart slowed down until it finally stopped with a last sigh, as if he had waited all his life for her to pronounce those words that he craved to hear from her mouth. With a last trace of a smile adorning his lips, he left this world. But he wasn't alone, because some hours later, Oscar, like she had felt his departure, parted as well, reaching for him. As if God, being compassionate to all the suffering they had experienced in life, had spared them both of waking up alone. They had been inseparable in life, and they remained together in death, incapable of living without each other, like two twin souls united forever.
It was a neighbour who discovered them the next day, tenderly embracing each other and serene in death, as touched by God's hand. They were buried side by side, André and Oscar Grandier, but their story survived through generations. They were perhaps no longer in this world, but they were never forgotten.