The Reluctant SI 1:
Toji Has a Little 'Accident' . . . Heh Heh Heh
(A NGE SI Parody)
By Ammadeau
Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org
http://Ammadeau.tripod.com/fanfiction.htm
Note: Written on a half-asleep caffeine high, so don't expect it to
make a lot of sense.
***
Somehow, on the day before he was to be chosen as the
Fourth Child, Toji managed to break both an arm and a leg in a
freak peeping incident, showing that fate did in fact have a sense of
humor. The testing of Unit-03 had to proceed at once, however, so
NERV needed a replacement pilot fast.
Down in the hidden depths of Seele's err . . . hidden base,
two shadowy figures spoke to one another, since they had tried just
standing around looking mysterious and it wasn't working out.
"I've heard of NERV's problem in finding a new pilot.
They must defeat the Angels! I hate that team! Is Karou ready
yet?"
"Nah, still not pale enough," Robert Smith replied.
Meanwhile, NERV was considering many other candidates.
Gendo sat and flipped through glossy photographs while Fuyski (or
whatever his name is), looked on, sipping at a Tab he had gotten
from a computer.
"How about Hikari?" Dr. F asked, eyeing a picture of the
Pippy Longstocking wanna-be.
"We already attempted to recruit her. However, she is quite
determined to spend her time nursing Toji," TV's Gendo replied,
not mentioning that her idea of 'nursing' was force-feeding the jock
until he couldn't move. At the rate she was going, they wouldn't be
able to fit him into the entry plug by the time he was out of the
hospital.
"How determined?" the former tutor of Yui asked the big
boss man.
"Let's just say that the agents we sent after her now need
their own extended hospital stay, not to mention a personal
urologist," The grand master G replied, tapping his hand with a
nightstick.
"Ouch. What about Kenske?"
They both thought about hyperactive nerd boy in an EVA
and shuddered. Next photo.
"How about Pen-pen?"
On the other side of Tokyo-3, the bird in question felt a
sudden chill. It could be that he lived in a fridge. He shrugged,
grabbed a beer, and settled down for a little Discovery channel.
"Too young, unfortunately."
Eventually, the two commanders of NERV decided to
consult the source of all wisdom, the script . . ., I mean the Dead
Sea Scrolls.
Gendo said, "Here, I think I found the relevant passage.
'And so if the chosen child shall injure himself, thou shall elect an
author avatar to take his place. For he shall be an unbeatable smug
bastard, but beware the aura of smooth. Amen.'"
Gendo and Mr. F. nodded to each other in quiet satisfaction
and made the call.
And so NERV officials busted into the home of the author
and dragged him away kicking and screaming for he had just
gotten a shipment of anime DVDs in the mail and hadn't had the
chance to watch any of them yet. One of the agents even nicked
his Rei wallscroll, the bastard.
Ammadeau was brought before the supreme commander of
NERV, his highness Gendo Ikari, and his pet, the lovable Dr. F.
They were currently in Gendo's massive office where part of the
Tree of Life was blocked by the recently pilfered wallscroll.
Astute watchers of the series know which part, which will be left
unsaid because the author doesn't.
"You have been designated the 4th child," Commander
Ikari said in his usual 'oh so joyful' tone. One would not be
surprised if he had once worked helpdesk. Actually, it would
explain a number of things.
"Pull the other one." Ammadeau was not currently as his
best, after being shanghaied from his home by fictional characters.
Besides, the floor was cold and he wasn't wearing any shoes.
"Excuse me?" Mr. Ikari asked, not used to strangers telling
him to pull things. That was a right usually reserved for close
friends.
"You must be joking."
"I assure you that I'm completely serious."
"Yes, Commander Ikari is always serious. He wouldn't
know a joke if it bit him in the--"
Dr. F's little aside was cut off by a boot to the mid-section.
Amm tried to reason with the big kahuna of NERV. "But
I'm not Japanese, not fourteen, and above all, not an anime
character!"
Gendo radiated enough smug self-confidence to kill flies at
thirty paces. "We can fix all that. We can make you better,
stronger, faster."
"Really?" Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
"No, not really."
Ammadeau decided that he didn't like Gendo's grin one bit.
Actually, he decided that he didn't like the whole Gendo at all.
And so our not-so-lovable avatar was brought before
NERV's chief scientist and the only person who could get away
with wearing a bathing suit on duty, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi.
"Strip," she instructed. It sounded as if a command that she
was used to giving. There was also the fact that several of her
assistants began to remove their clothes until they realized that she
wasn't talking to them.
"What do you mean?" He wondered if the bleach she used
to dye her hair had started to effect her brain.
"It's a verb that means, in this instance, to take off one's
clothes, in this situation, your clothes. Is that clear enough for
you?"
There was no way that he was going to strip with two ladies
watching (Maya was there but as usual only had a bit part), so it
eventually came down to dragging over the screen from the pilot's
changing room for him to stand behind.
"Wo ho! Take it off!"
Ammadeau peeked his head around the corner of the
screen. "All right, which one of you said that?"
Ritsuko and Maya looked at each other, baffled.
Meanwhile, the mother component of the Magi was busy scolding
the woman component for the previous outburst.
"Okay, I'm done here," Amm shouted to them, feeling very
embarrassed, not to mention cold. Didn't they believe in central
heating at NERV?
"We can tell," Maya and Ritsuko said simultaneously while
thinking that Shinji could have been right that the screen was a
little too thin after all. That might have explained why Asuka had
been muttering about toothpicks one day.
"What was that?"
Ritsuko ducked the question by instructing Ammadeau,
"Just get in the hatch on your right. It should close behind you."
Ammadeau walked into a big metal tube that appeared to be
somewhat like a smaller version of an entry plug. Once inside, the
door snapped shut and it began to fill with LCL. It was not unlike
drowning in warm, blood-flavored jello. Not that the author knows
what's that like, of course.
"Push the button, Maya," Ritsuko told her assistant.
Maya hit the button shaped like a horse.
There was a sudden flash of light and the smell of ozone.
A much higher pitched voice than expected shouted, "Argh! I'm a
girl now! Change me back! Change me back!"
"Oops, wrong button," said Maya, embarrassed and finally
getting a line in this story. Maya pushed the button shaped like a
mushroom and there was another flash of light.
"How do you feel now?" Ritsuko asked.
"Shorter," Ammadeau replied, restored to his correct
gender.
"Okay, I'm opening the tube now. Get dressed and get back
out here."
The tube drained of LCL, gave Ammadeau a quick washing
down of some very cold water, and dried him off with some very
warm air. It was not unlike going to a car wash with the windows
open, naked, and without a car.
Amm did as he was told, finding his clothes not fitting as
well as they once had. Maya had brought out a mirror so he could
admire his new younger, anime self. He looked somewhat like
Shinji, only with Kaji's hair. In other words, only resembling his
previous self in the vaguest sense.
"See? Now you're fourteen again."
Ammadeau suddenly realized that this meant he'd have to
go through high school again. He screamed and fainted.
***
Reluctant SI 2:
Meet Your Fellow Pilots!
(A NGE SI Parody)
By Ammadeau
Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org
http://Ammadeau.tripod.com/fanfiction.htm
Ammadeau woke from a nightmare in a very grey hospital
wearing no more than a flimsy hosptial gown. He realized quickly
that he was now an anime character who was destined to get torn
apart and screamed again.
As if that were some kind of signal, the door opened and in
strode Misato in her usual brown dress, which supposedly had been
ruined in episode one, and red jacket. She was carrying a beer
which she had not-so-cleverly disguised as a soft drink by
scribbling out the logo and writing 'Root Beer' on it with a felt
marker.
"Oh, so you're finally awake," she slurred. "Come on and
get dressed, I'm here to take you home. I went through an entire
case of beer waiting for you."
"How long was I out for?"
"For the whole commercial break."
Amm flinched at the sound of the fourth wall cracking.
"Where am I going to live?"
"With me, of course. You're the new pilot, aren't you? The
new pilot always lives with me in these fanfics, ignoring the fact
that my apartment is crowded as it is." Another brick thrown at the
fourth wall.
Amm thought of living with Misato. She was a slob and a
drunk, but that described half the college roommates he had had.
He'd probably get along with Shinji, since he had no particular
reason to use the boy as a doormat. He thought about living with
Asuka . . . screamed and fainted again.
Slap!
Misato had decided that it was too soon for another
commercial break and had woke him up the first way that had
occurred to her. Besides, she was almost out of beer.
"You know a kiss is more traditional," Ammadeau
complained as he rubbed his cheek.
"Not in anime," Misato replied with a Nabiki-like smirk.
"Get changed quick, I'll wait outside."
Amm found that his clothes had been replaced with
something similar to what Shinji wore. At least these fit and
weren't the standard god-boy fashions. No tight shorts, thank you
very much.
Upon reaching Misato's lovely apartment, introductions
went all around. Naturally, Asuka went first.
"I am the mighty Asuka, the greatest EVA pilot that has
ever lived! Consider yourself blessed to be in my presence."
"I thought Shinji had a higher sync ratio than you by now."
Blam! Kapow! Crunch! (And other Batman sound effects.)
And so Ammadeau learned the hard way that one should
never insuate that her royal highness, heir to the throne of
Germany, is anything less than the best.
"Sorry about that," Shinji said as he helped Amm to his
feet. "Asuka is a little high strung."
"You mean that she's a total bitch," Ammadeau replied as
he rubbed the new bruise on his skull.
Wham! Heart-shaped clock to the head!
Shinji helped Amm up, take two, who was now nursing an
even larger bruise on his face. "You really shouldn't say things like
that about her."
"No kidding."
"What was that?" Asuka shouted from her room, from
where she had expertly thrown the timepiece from. "Are you two
idiots talking about me again?"
"No!" they both shouted back quickly.
*It's official,* Ammadeau thought. *I'm in hell.*
"My name's Shinji," the boy told Amm as he gave him an
ice pack which he kept cool in case of Asuka attacks.
Ammadeau gratefully accepted this and applied it to the
swelling bump on his noggin. "I'm Ammadeau. It's nice to meet
you, Shinji."
They sat a few moments in silence, until Shinji said, "Are
your parents dead?"
"Nope."
"Abandoned you when you were little?"
"Nope."
"Did something that left you permanently scarred,
mentally?"
"Nope."
"Are secretly the clone of someone's mother and / or
father?"
"Nope. Where did you get that idea from?"
Shinji shrugged. "Saw it on an old sci-fi movie."
They were all settled in for a nice meal of instant ramen.
Misato and Shinji were sitting to either side of Ammadeau, while
Asuka was directly across from him. He suffered under the
redhead's expert glare whenever he glanced in her direction. It was
a look that promised extreme pain for a single misspoken word.
"So what would you like to drink?" Misato asked after
downing her first beer of the evening and leaning over to the fridge
to get another.
"What do you have?"
"Well, we have a fine selection of beer, beer, and more
beer."
"Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer . . ." the chant drifted in from
somewhere outside.
"Do you have anything besides beer?"
"We have stout, larger, port, and some whiskey."
"Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer . . ."
Asuka went over to the window, hefted a brick which she
had been saving for just such an occasion, and chucked it hard.
"Ouch!"
Thankfully, the chanting stopped.
"I'll just have some water then."
"Why the heck to I have to go to middle school again? I
hardly remember finishing high school!"
"Dummkof! You're not the only college graduate they
force to go through this!"
Ammadeau mumbled to himself, "I will not ask if she got a
degree in being a royal pain in the ass. I will not . . ."
"What is that?" Asuka asked him, teeth bared and waving a
book bag in a threatening manner. "Where you talking about me
again?"
"Yes, I was just remarking to myself how lovely you looked
this morning. How your eyes sparkle in the sun and your hair is
like a river of fire, burning my heart with desire," Ammadeau
replied in a voice that was so thick with sarcasm that people
mistook him for a helpdesk operator.
Asuka huffed, turned he back on him, and started off for
school. Amm had to wonder if her Akane Tendo impersonation
was a bad sign. There was no way that he could put up with half
the abuse that Ranma did.
Ammadeau saw a familiar looking blue-haired girl on the
way to school, so he walked up to her and said, "You're Rei
Ayanami, the pilot of Unit-00, right?"
"Yes."
"I'm Ammadeau, the Forth Child. I'm going to be piloting
Unit-03, at least until it goes crazy and has to be put down like a
dog with rabies."
"I know."
Amm should have known better than to try and strike up a
conversation with the amazing Wondergirl, but having started he
felt that he couldn't give up until her got a response from her that
was more than a few words. Ideally, something with a little
emotion as well.
"So, why do you bother reading books when you don't pay
attention in class?"
"The teacher is boring," Rei replied in her usual monotone.
"Is it because all he ever talks about is the official cover
story of the Second Impact, over and over again, without ever
giving something like a test or doing something else constructive?"
"Yes."
Ammadeau struggled to think of something, anything, that
would get him more than a one word response. There was one
thing, but it would probably get him killed. Feeling that he was
going to at least get maimed anyway, he figured what the heck.
"So what's it like being the clone of Shinji's dead mom?"
". . ."
Toji Has a Little 'Accident' . . . Heh Heh Heh
(A NGE SI Parody)
By Ammadeau
Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org
http://Ammadeau.tripod.com/fanfiction.htm
Note: Written on a half-asleep caffeine high, so don't expect it to
make a lot of sense.
***
Somehow, on the day before he was to be chosen as the
Fourth Child, Toji managed to break both an arm and a leg in a
freak peeping incident, showing that fate did in fact have a sense of
humor. The testing of Unit-03 had to proceed at once, however, so
NERV needed a replacement pilot fast.
Down in the hidden depths of Seele's err . . . hidden base,
two shadowy figures spoke to one another, since they had tried just
standing around looking mysterious and it wasn't working out.
"I've heard of NERV's problem in finding a new pilot.
They must defeat the Angels! I hate that team! Is Karou ready
yet?"
"Nah, still not pale enough," Robert Smith replied.
Meanwhile, NERV was considering many other candidates.
Gendo sat and flipped through glossy photographs while Fuyski (or
whatever his name is), looked on, sipping at a Tab he had gotten
from a computer.
"How about Hikari?" Dr. F asked, eyeing a picture of the
Pippy Longstocking wanna-be.
"We already attempted to recruit her. However, she is quite
determined to spend her time nursing Toji," TV's Gendo replied,
not mentioning that her idea of 'nursing' was force-feeding the jock
until he couldn't move. At the rate she was going, they wouldn't be
able to fit him into the entry plug by the time he was out of the
hospital.
"How determined?" the former tutor of Yui asked the big
boss man.
"Let's just say that the agents we sent after her now need
their own extended hospital stay, not to mention a personal
urologist," The grand master G replied, tapping his hand with a
nightstick.
"Ouch. What about Kenske?"
They both thought about hyperactive nerd boy in an EVA
and shuddered. Next photo.
"How about Pen-pen?"
On the other side of Tokyo-3, the bird in question felt a
sudden chill. It could be that he lived in a fridge. He shrugged,
grabbed a beer, and settled down for a little Discovery channel.
"Too young, unfortunately."
Eventually, the two commanders of NERV decided to
consult the source of all wisdom, the script . . ., I mean the Dead
Sea Scrolls.
Gendo said, "Here, I think I found the relevant passage.
'And so if the chosen child shall injure himself, thou shall elect an
author avatar to take his place. For he shall be an unbeatable smug
bastard, but beware the aura of smooth. Amen.'"
Gendo and Mr. F. nodded to each other in quiet satisfaction
and made the call.
And so NERV officials busted into the home of the author
and dragged him away kicking and screaming for he had just
gotten a shipment of anime DVDs in the mail and hadn't had the
chance to watch any of them yet. One of the agents even nicked
his Rei wallscroll, the bastard.
Ammadeau was brought before the supreme commander of
NERV, his highness Gendo Ikari, and his pet, the lovable Dr. F.
They were currently in Gendo's massive office where part of the
Tree of Life was blocked by the recently pilfered wallscroll.
Astute watchers of the series know which part, which will be left
unsaid because the author doesn't.
"You have been designated the 4th child," Commander
Ikari said in his usual 'oh so joyful' tone. One would not be
surprised if he had once worked helpdesk. Actually, it would
explain a number of things.
"Pull the other one." Ammadeau was not currently as his
best, after being shanghaied from his home by fictional characters.
Besides, the floor was cold and he wasn't wearing any shoes.
"Excuse me?" Mr. Ikari asked, not used to strangers telling
him to pull things. That was a right usually reserved for close
friends.
"You must be joking."
"I assure you that I'm completely serious."
"Yes, Commander Ikari is always serious. He wouldn't
know a joke if it bit him in the--"
Dr. F's little aside was cut off by a boot to the mid-section.
Amm tried to reason with the big kahuna of NERV. "But
I'm not Japanese, not fourteen, and above all, not an anime
character!"
Gendo radiated enough smug self-confidence to kill flies at
thirty paces. "We can fix all that. We can make you better,
stronger, faster."
"Really?" Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
"No, not really."
Ammadeau decided that he didn't like Gendo's grin one bit.
Actually, he decided that he didn't like the whole Gendo at all.
And so our not-so-lovable avatar was brought before
NERV's chief scientist and the only person who could get away
with wearing a bathing suit on duty, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi.
"Strip," she instructed. It sounded as if a command that she
was used to giving. There was also the fact that several of her
assistants began to remove their clothes until they realized that she
wasn't talking to them.
"What do you mean?" He wondered if the bleach she used
to dye her hair had started to effect her brain.
"It's a verb that means, in this instance, to take off one's
clothes, in this situation, your clothes. Is that clear enough for
you?"
There was no way that he was going to strip with two ladies
watching (Maya was there but as usual only had a bit part), so it
eventually came down to dragging over the screen from the pilot's
changing room for him to stand behind.
"Wo ho! Take it off!"
Ammadeau peeked his head around the corner of the
screen. "All right, which one of you said that?"
Ritsuko and Maya looked at each other, baffled.
Meanwhile, the mother component of the Magi was busy scolding
the woman component for the previous outburst.
"Okay, I'm done here," Amm shouted to them, feeling very
embarrassed, not to mention cold. Didn't they believe in central
heating at NERV?
"We can tell," Maya and Ritsuko said simultaneously while
thinking that Shinji could have been right that the screen was a
little too thin after all. That might have explained why Asuka had
been muttering about toothpicks one day.
"What was that?"
Ritsuko ducked the question by instructing Ammadeau,
"Just get in the hatch on your right. It should close behind you."
Ammadeau walked into a big metal tube that appeared to be
somewhat like a smaller version of an entry plug. Once inside, the
door snapped shut and it began to fill with LCL. It was not unlike
drowning in warm, blood-flavored jello. Not that the author knows
what's that like, of course.
"Push the button, Maya," Ritsuko told her assistant.
Maya hit the button shaped like a horse.
There was a sudden flash of light and the smell of ozone.
A much higher pitched voice than expected shouted, "Argh! I'm a
girl now! Change me back! Change me back!"
"Oops, wrong button," said Maya, embarrassed and finally
getting a line in this story. Maya pushed the button shaped like a
mushroom and there was another flash of light.
"How do you feel now?" Ritsuko asked.
"Shorter," Ammadeau replied, restored to his correct
gender.
"Okay, I'm opening the tube now. Get dressed and get back
out here."
The tube drained of LCL, gave Ammadeau a quick washing
down of some very cold water, and dried him off with some very
warm air. It was not unlike going to a car wash with the windows
open, naked, and without a car.
Amm did as he was told, finding his clothes not fitting as
well as they once had. Maya had brought out a mirror so he could
admire his new younger, anime self. He looked somewhat like
Shinji, only with Kaji's hair. In other words, only resembling his
previous self in the vaguest sense.
"See? Now you're fourteen again."
Ammadeau suddenly realized that this meant he'd have to
go through high school again. He screamed and fainted.
***
Reluctant SI 2:
Meet Your Fellow Pilots!
(A NGE SI Parody)
By Ammadeau
Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org
http://Ammadeau.tripod.com/fanfiction.htm
Ammadeau woke from a nightmare in a very grey hospital
wearing no more than a flimsy hosptial gown. He realized quickly
that he was now an anime character who was destined to get torn
apart and screamed again.
As if that were some kind of signal, the door opened and in
strode Misato in her usual brown dress, which supposedly had been
ruined in episode one, and red jacket. She was carrying a beer
which she had not-so-cleverly disguised as a soft drink by
scribbling out the logo and writing 'Root Beer' on it with a felt
marker.
"Oh, so you're finally awake," she slurred. "Come on and
get dressed, I'm here to take you home. I went through an entire
case of beer waiting for you."
"How long was I out for?"
"For the whole commercial break."
Amm flinched at the sound of the fourth wall cracking.
"Where am I going to live?"
"With me, of course. You're the new pilot, aren't you? The
new pilot always lives with me in these fanfics, ignoring the fact
that my apartment is crowded as it is." Another brick thrown at the
fourth wall.
Amm thought of living with Misato. She was a slob and a
drunk, but that described half the college roommates he had had.
He'd probably get along with Shinji, since he had no particular
reason to use the boy as a doormat. He thought about living with
Asuka . . . screamed and fainted again.
Slap!
Misato had decided that it was too soon for another
commercial break and had woke him up the first way that had
occurred to her. Besides, she was almost out of beer.
"You know a kiss is more traditional," Ammadeau
complained as he rubbed his cheek.
"Not in anime," Misato replied with a Nabiki-like smirk.
"Get changed quick, I'll wait outside."
Amm found that his clothes had been replaced with
something similar to what Shinji wore. At least these fit and
weren't the standard god-boy fashions. No tight shorts, thank you
very much.
Upon reaching Misato's lovely apartment, introductions
went all around. Naturally, Asuka went first.
"I am the mighty Asuka, the greatest EVA pilot that has
ever lived! Consider yourself blessed to be in my presence."
"I thought Shinji had a higher sync ratio than you by now."
Blam! Kapow! Crunch! (And other Batman sound effects.)
And so Ammadeau learned the hard way that one should
never insuate that her royal highness, heir to the throne of
Germany, is anything less than the best.
"Sorry about that," Shinji said as he helped Amm to his
feet. "Asuka is a little high strung."
"You mean that she's a total bitch," Ammadeau replied as
he rubbed the new bruise on his skull.
Wham! Heart-shaped clock to the head!
Shinji helped Amm up, take two, who was now nursing an
even larger bruise on his face. "You really shouldn't say things like
that about her."
"No kidding."
"What was that?" Asuka shouted from her room, from
where she had expertly thrown the timepiece from. "Are you two
idiots talking about me again?"
"No!" they both shouted back quickly.
*It's official,* Ammadeau thought. *I'm in hell.*
"My name's Shinji," the boy told Amm as he gave him an
ice pack which he kept cool in case of Asuka attacks.
Ammadeau gratefully accepted this and applied it to the
swelling bump on his noggin. "I'm Ammadeau. It's nice to meet
you, Shinji."
They sat a few moments in silence, until Shinji said, "Are
your parents dead?"
"Nope."
"Abandoned you when you were little?"
"Nope."
"Did something that left you permanently scarred,
mentally?"
"Nope."
"Are secretly the clone of someone's mother and / or
father?"
"Nope. Where did you get that idea from?"
Shinji shrugged. "Saw it on an old sci-fi movie."
They were all settled in for a nice meal of instant ramen.
Misato and Shinji were sitting to either side of Ammadeau, while
Asuka was directly across from him. He suffered under the
redhead's expert glare whenever he glanced in her direction. It was
a look that promised extreme pain for a single misspoken word.
"So what would you like to drink?" Misato asked after
downing her first beer of the evening and leaning over to the fridge
to get another.
"What do you have?"
"Well, we have a fine selection of beer, beer, and more
beer."
"Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer . . ." the chant drifted in from
somewhere outside.
"Do you have anything besides beer?"
"We have stout, larger, port, and some whiskey."
"Beer, beer, beer, beer, beer . . ."
Asuka went over to the window, hefted a brick which she
had been saving for just such an occasion, and chucked it hard.
"Ouch!"
Thankfully, the chanting stopped.
"I'll just have some water then."
"Why the heck to I have to go to middle school again? I
hardly remember finishing high school!"
"Dummkof! You're not the only college graduate they
force to go through this!"
Ammadeau mumbled to himself, "I will not ask if she got a
degree in being a royal pain in the ass. I will not . . ."
"What is that?" Asuka asked him, teeth bared and waving a
book bag in a threatening manner. "Where you talking about me
again?"
"Yes, I was just remarking to myself how lovely you looked
this morning. How your eyes sparkle in the sun and your hair is
like a river of fire, burning my heart with desire," Ammadeau
replied in a voice that was so thick with sarcasm that people
mistook him for a helpdesk operator.
Asuka huffed, turned he back on him, and started off for
school. Amm had to wonder if her Akane Tendo impersonation
was a bad sign. There was no way that he could put up with half
the abuse that Ranma did.
Ammadeau saw a familiar looking blue-haired girl on the
way to school, so he walked up to her and said, "You're Rei
Ayanami, the pilot of Unit-00, right?"
"Yes."
"I'm Ammadeau, the Forth Child. I'm going to be piloting
Unit-03, at least until it goes crazy and has to be put down like a
dog with rabies."
"I know."
Amm should have known better than to try and strike up a
conversation with the amazing Wondergirl, but having started he
felt that he couldn't give up until her got a response from her that
was more than a few words. Ideally, something with a little
emotion as well.
"So, why do you bother reading books when you don't pay
attention in class?"
"The teacher is boring," Rei replied in her usual monotone.
"Is it because all he ever talks about is the official cover
story of the Second Impact, over and over again, without ever
giving something like a test or doing something else constructive?"
"Yes."
Ammadeau struggled to think of something, anything, that
would get him more than a one word response. There was one
thing, but it would probably get him killed. Feeling that he was
going to at least get maimed anyway, he figured what the heck.
"So what's it like being the clone of Shinji's dead mom?"
". . ."