Sleeping With the Enemies

Author's Note: Okay, so this was going to be a lot longer, but to be honest I can't think of what add to it. I've had this written for months, but just don't know how to go about finishing it. So, for now, it's finished, but feel free to leave a review or PM me if you have a clue as to what I should do with it. For now, I find this conversation amusing…Poor Ronald Weasley. Always missing, killed, mean, or dense in my stories.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own this! If I did, I would be JKR. JKR put Ron and Hermione together in the actual books. I hate the thought. And Harry and Ginny don't belong together either.

"Hermione, if they touched you, I'm going to kill them."

"Really, Ronald! How many times do I have to tell you? That won't be necessary."

"But, Hermione, if they hurt you—"

"Ronald!"

"But they're going to hurt you—"

"Ronald Bilius Weasley! Draco and Blaise would never hurt me! Now let it go!'

"You called them by their first names, 'Mione! What did you do?"

"Ron, stop poking you nose into other people's busin—"

"If they're blackmailing you somehow, you know you call tell me, right? I mean, if it's—"

"Ron! Unless you definition of blackmail is to exploit my desire to have Blaise's cock in my pussy and Draco's in my arse or vice versa, no they are not blackmailing me!"

Ron shut up for the first time in nearly half an hour, shocked that Hermione would say something like that. After a bit of a pause, he said, quietly, "Really, Hermione, what are they doing to you?"

Hermione slid her hands up along the sides of her face to her temples, where she dug them into her hair. "What part of this do you not understand, Ronald? Draco and Blaise are my lovers, yes, at the same time, and yes, I like it, and no, I'm not being blackmailed, and, no, contrary to popular belief, they haven't done anything to me, and no, they never will, and, if you really want to know, I love them. So SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"

Ron glared at her. "You're sleeping with the enemy."

"EXACTLY! Now will you bugger off and leave me alone?"

"No, because you're sleeping with the enemies, which is worse than sleeping with the enemy."

"Shut up, Ronald."

EDIT 10/24/11: People that are reading this and leaving negative reviews. I don't care what you think, I DO happen to find this amusing. If you read this hoping for it to be a Ron/Hermione romance, please note the absence of Romance in the genres section. Read Author's Notes. If you had, you would have noticed that I said 'Poor Ronald Weasley. Always missing, killed, mean, or dense in my stories.' Since I used the word ALWAYS, that would tell you that in this story, too, he is either 'missing, killed, mean, or dense'. Also, my disclaimer, which you should read, says 'JKR put Ron and Hermione together in the actual books. I hate the thought'. Therefore, it is logical to assume that I would NEVER write a story in which they are together. To those saying I am immoral, screw you. Some people like this, and just because it's not you doesn't mean that no one else does either. I will never write a canon pairing. I hate both Ron and Ginny. Please do not leave a review saying any of the above comments after today, or I will PM you with this exact message. Thank you.